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Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
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The McSteamy Naked Threesome Gets the Celebrity Weekly Treatment
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Us Weekly's Janice Min Steps Down as Editor
Janice Min's Mysterious Future
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Spirit Fingers
05:44 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
"Tiger, you do know the Gosselins, Jon and Kate, don't you? No? Here, let me introduce you."

Welcome, Tiger and wife, to the non-abating news cycle for the next month at least... expect revelations, tearful denials, fervent protestations, and someone wailing, "And what about the children?!"

Yes, a mighty thing you've done for publishing this Holiday season. Jingle-Bell Balls in Your Face!
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mimigoliath
05:26 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
Isn't 24 too young to have a facelift? Her eyebrows are in the freaking ionosphere.
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lobstr
05:11 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
Incomprehensible to think he'd go for that unattractive piece of trash over the rather hot Swedish wife. Golfers..
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heywhat
06:16 PM

@lobstr: Agreed. Would it kill Tiger to have a hot mistress? How hard can it be to find an attractive piece of ass?
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Edited by heywhat at 12/01/09 6:17 PM heywhat was starred heywhat was unstarred

Brad Brown
04:52 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
As Kwanzaa Charlie Brown would say, that girl has more clap than an auditorium.
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LeftCoastLady
07:42 PM

@Brad Brown: Franklin would like to have a word with you.
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A Message To Rudy
04:51 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
Very rarely do you see the words "24 year-old cocktail waitress" in a news story without the word "affair" nearby.
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BookishLookish
04:53 PM

@A Message To Rudy: Those daring young bitches should just be fitted with chastity belts from the get-go.
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A Message To Rudy
05:03 PM

@BookishLookish: Actually, I was trying to suggest that it's the guys who get themselves in trouble by always courting the aforementioned 24 year-old cocktail waitresses.
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noonecaresowen
05:08 PM

@A Message To Rudy: And of course she spells her name "Jaimee".
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A Message To Rudy
05:13 PM

@noonecaresowen: And yet "Grubs" only has one "B". Go figure.
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pollyannacowgirl
04:49 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
I have a feeling that we're going to be hearing from Rachel U, and this time, she's going to admit to being Tiger's hooer. These bimbos can't STAND being upstaged.

*rubs hands gleefully*
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Little Green Frog (Wise Latina) promoted this comment pollyannacowgirl was starred pollyannacowgirl was unstarred

ArtfulSlinger
04:49 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
This chick was from the first season of Tool Academy, who was there with her fake boyfriend, so I can only assume she was trolling for money the whole time!!!!
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Matt Cherette
04:48 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
Seeing that TMZ comment makes me crave the return of the "The Unapproved" feature even more. Can we please bring it back? Hell, I'll even do it.
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IpsoFacto
08:44 PM

@Matt Cherette: yes! I miss them too.
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m4ximusprim3
04:39 PM

In reply to Rumor: Us Weekly Pays Big For Tiger Woods Girl #2
The most amazing thing is that Tiger is allowing this to occur. He's on track to be the first athlete to bank one billion dollars - and people are getting these contracts for $150,000?

If I were him, every woman who has ever touched the 1-wood would immediately get a million dollars and a legally binding non-disclosure agreement, or they'd end up at the bottom of a very deep lake.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: He's handling this all wrong.
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momof3wildkids
04:52 PM

@m4ximusprim3: You're right. He should have allowed the interview with the FHP to go forward. The less disclosure the more shit will fly in to fill the void. (e.g. picture of rather whorish woman above)
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Edited by momof3wildkids at 12/01/09 4:53 PM momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred

resipsaloquacious
05:04 PM

@momof3wildkids:

He's handling it as perfect as one could. There appears to be no chance for arrest, for he or his wife. Continue with the no comment, no comment, no comment. This is the only chance the story will die.

Media loves to argue that if he just tells the truth, this will all die down. Bullshit. If he says nothing he has a much better chance that it will all die down. If the mistresses come out of the wood work, they are coming out of the work -- there is nothing he can do to stop it. Attempting to get ahead of the story by admitting to the affairs is a sucker's bet, one that will not work and one that the media hopes he takes.

If there are mistresses out there and they want airtime they will get airtime, regardless of whether Tiger admits to his affairs or not.
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GregorMendel
05:21 PM

@resipsaloquacious: He is trying to keep his wife out of the pokey salad weeds. If she hit him, he cannot hide behind the 5th to protect her.
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resipsaloquacious
05:27 PM

@GregorMendel:

From the reports, it seems he achieved his goal. I call that a win. Who mentioned the 5th Amendment? It concerns self-incrimination. The more relevant issue would be Florida's law on whether the state can force a spouse to testify against his/her will against his/her spouse, which I do not know.
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m4ximusprim3
05:36 PM

@resipsaloquacious: I'm with you on the "no comment" thing - his business is his business, and admitting to an affair is not going to appease the vultures.

I just can't believe someone with his money and influence can't corrall some fugly bitches, especially when his public image is worth something like $80-$90 million a year. 5 million to silence some road meat seems like a pittance.
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Edited by m4ximusprim3 at 12/01/09 5:37 PM m4ximusprim3 was starred m4ximusprim3 was unstarred

GregorMendel
05:41 PM

@resipsaloquacious: When this all started, my legal brethren were all a-flutter about the fact that Tiger did not have to talk to the police as we are all protected by the 5th amendment. The difference, however, is that if he is in no danger of self-incrimination he can be compelled to talk to them. And spousal privilege does not apply in domestic violence cases in the vast majority of states.
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GregorMendel
05:42 PM

@m4ximusprim3: Win.
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m4ximusprim3
05:46 PM

@GregorMendel: Thanks! I don't know anything about the legal aspects of it, but as a practical matter, it seems like someone with nearly unlimited financial resources could do a better job at damage control.
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resipsaloquacious
05:54 PM

@GregorMendel:

The police/DA cannot establish probable cause to file a domestic violence charge (as the hospital reports cannot support such a claim). Tiger will not file a report against his wife for abuse. Therefore, Tiger will not have to testify in Court. The legal aspect of this story appears over.
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resipsaloquacious
05:58 PM

@m4ximusprim3:

We are on the same page.

But there is a risk in drafting a "road meat" non-disclosure agreement. If such an agreement became public, then, he would have serious sponsor issues.

The lesson for the young, insanely wealthy and uber-famous: don't get married. See Jeter, Derek.
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BookishLookish
08:13 PM

@resipsaloquacious: Mmm, I love when res gets all lawyery.
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MisterHippity
10/23/09

In reply to More launch party: Gabriel Snyder
*ahem* Hello … [tap tap] … is this thing on? [feedback squeal] Testing … testing …

Hi. How are y'all doing tonight?

So how about those pilots who flew by the airport today? You know, I don’t think they … Oh wait, sorry. Hang on:

Why Those Pilots Flew Past the Airport Today
By MisterHippity

Ok, so … I don’t think they really fell asleep. I think they were just looking for a river to land on, so they could get some of hot hero-groupie action, like Captain Sully! You know what I mean?

Or maybe they were just fucking the flight attendants. Hey … why do you think they call it the cockpit, anyway?

Actually, though … I think they really probably just fell asleep.

So anyway … I really appreciate the opportunity to do this. You guys have been a great audience.

If anyone’s interested, I’m available every night because I’m an insomniac and I don’t have a day job. So just let me know. #gabrielsnyder
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kookla
08/19/09

In reply to The McSteamy Naked Threesome Gets the Celebrity Weekly Treatment
Who are they kidding? McPeeny and his wife totally scored with this scandal! Who knew that the most boring celebrity couple on the red carpet would star in one of the most boring celebrity sex tapes? I just can't wait until the tape of Brad and Angelina writing their grocery list hits the 'net.

But seriously. I don't need CNN. I've got the Gawker Media family to keep me well informed.
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Edited by kookla at 08/19/09 9:20 PM kookla was starred kookla was unstarred

Magister
08/20/09

@kookla:
I just can't wait until the tape of Brad and Angelina writing their grocery list hits the 'net.

If they're naked and doing playful banter about cucumbers, melons and tube steak, I'd definitely watch.
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SinisterRouge
08/19/09

In reply to The McSteamy Naked Threesome Gets the Celebrity Weekly Treatment
Are we famous?! Also, they are a pretty hot looking couple no? She's naturally sexy and pretty and he's not so bad himself.
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Nic Fit
08/19/09

In reply to The McSteamy Naked Threesome Gets the Celebrity Weekly Treatment
And it's Pulitzer season...
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Island of Misfit Toys
08/19/09

In reply to The McSteamy Naked Threesome Gets the Celebrity Weekly Treatment
People magazine may be trying to get the first remorseful/sobbing apology interview from the couple and so they decided not to mention/show the video out of "respect" for their privacy.
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PandoraSpocks
08/19/09

In reply to The McSteamy Naked Threesome Gets the Celebrity Weekly Treatment
I still can't see whatever it is I'm supposed to have seen. All I see is two weird girls in a hot tube, a subway map and a cartoon. No naked McSteamy, no naked anyone.
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Island of Misfit Toys
08/19/09

@PandoraSpocks: I think Fleshbot has the good version.
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