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crusades
Posts Tagged “
Coffee
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crusades
There Is No Issue More Important
Tim Horton's, a coffee chain that caters to the Canadian Menace, is kicking Starbucks' ass on Facebook. There is a group called "Biodegradable Cups at Tim Hortons" with more than 10,000 members. This means that Starbucks could use some of T.H.'s online marketing savvy. And, that Canadians are suicidally bored. [Ad Age]
Tim Horton's, a coffee chain that caters to the Canadian Menace, is kicking Starbucks' ass on Facebook. There is a group called "Biodegradable Cups at Tim Hortons" with more than 10,000 members. This means that Starbucks could use some of T.H.'s online marketing savvy. And, that Canadians are suicidally bored. [Ad Age]
the rich
Class Warfare Over Starbucks Seats
Starbucks just unveiled a special rewards program, offering free refills and wireless internet for its most loyal addicts. But this isn't enough for Times columnist Ron Lieber, who considers himself a very special, lucrative customer and who has a list of demands. He would like his own special, shorter lines and a special VIP seating section with Aeron chairs and reserved electrical outlets. He would like to be invited to exclusive parties. And everyone else would like his head on a platter. Again. More »
scandal
Starbucks Barista Once Tried to Fatten Up the Olsen Twins
Ha! A former barista for the small coffee shop chain Starbucks has come forward and admitted to switching whole milk for skim when making caffeine cocktails for the Olsen twins. Mary Kate and Ashley have been frequent and loyal customers of the humble little java huts over the years, and have also (well, especially Mary Kate) been involved in various "so skinny!" grumblings. "The barista thought the Olsens were too thin, so whenever they ordered their usual drink, he would replace the skim milk with full-fat," said a source. What a nefarious, strangely philanthropic plot. More »
corporate america
Saving Starbucks Through Micromanagement
Howard Schultz, the founder of Death Star coffee chain and religious icon Starbucks, built the company up from nothing with pure grit, energy, and a visionary outlook. Then he went too far, aiming to open 40-freaking-thousand stores (more than McDonald's), and the company's stock price cratered over the past year. Schultz brought himself back as CEO earlier this year, and the dynamic caffeine pusher has now revealed how he plans to revive his floundering company: by micromanaging the shit out of every god damn thing: More »
branding
Ethiopia's Problems Solved By New Logo
Ethiopia doesn't have the world's most sterling reputation. Many people think of "famine" and "drought" when the country's name is mentioned. But the Ethiopians are lucky, in the sense that Starbucks has forged a connection between the parched and war-torn nation in northern Africa and yuppie coffee swillers across America who just adore the subtle fruity undertones of the Ethiopian Yirgacheffe blend. So the country went to a branding firm to come up with a logo to stick on all of its coffee, to make people think of it as more of a luxury item. The logo is pictured. It looks like it should be in lime green on the side of can of a new and exotic type of energy drink. Instead, it's on the oldest energy drink ever. The kind that comes from Ethiopia (and is not qat)! We wish the country well in its yuppie-swindling mission, but we would have gone with a logo that's a little more cutting edge, with both hipster appeal and a strong connection to Ethiopian history. Like this: More »
energy
Starbucks Shovels More Stimulants Into Caffeine-Addled Masses
It's about time that Starbucks offered weary consumers a little energy with their oversized caffeinated beverages. The coffee chain and infectious disease spreader is now providing the option of a "+Energy" addition to any drink. The new energy formula contains B-vitamins, guarana, and ginseng, which is the same mixture that they toss in most canned energy drinks these days, along with eye-popping amounts of caffeine. What I would like to know is this: what one flavor could possibly taste palatable mixed with every single thing that Starbucks sells, from coffee to tea to fruit-flavored goop? More »
scandal
The Decaf Deception: Yalies Rail Against Sleepy Sneak
The Yale Daily News has uncovered a bombshell: The University Dining Services-operated Thain Family Cafe secretly replaced its caffeinated espresso with decaf beans. They've been serving useless, unstimulating brown water to caffeine-fiending students since April 15, with no intention of revealing the ruse. This scrappy student paper got their hands on the documents that prove it: "An unsigned letter received by the News last week included a supposed photocopy of a Thain Café logbook entry from Feb. 29 that reads: 'We will also run out of reg. espresso and French roast most likely—secretly use decaf espresso to substitute the espresso—for the French, I don't know—I think we'll just have to be out.'" Cafe Manager Brian Yezierski denied the charges. But! Journalism! More »
coffee
Hill-Rod Vs Mr. Coffee
This is Hillary Clinton's Dukakis-in-a-tank moment. How can she answer the phone at 3 a.m. if she can't make a cup of coffee?? Also why didn't anyone help her? Was that Patti Solis Doyle's job?
marketing
Starbucks Reaches Out To The Simple People
Are you the type of consumer who's always been interested in trying that "Starbucks" that you've heard so much about, but are intimidated by its mysterious ways? In other words, are you a half-bright mole person? Well the company has a new website just for you! "What the online experience does is mimic the experience [consumers] would have in the store, if they went to the barista and said, 'I want to try Starbucks, but I don't know where to start,'" says one exec [Ad Age]. With StarbucksCoffeeAtHome.com, all the frightening guesswork is taken out of the coffee-going experience. What's your "flavor profile?" More »
bad ideas
Starbucks Has Ways Of Making You Talk
Despair is in order for those of you who balance out your vague sense of revulsion at visiting corporate Death Star and coffee shop Starbucks by telling yourself, "Well, at least I don't have to talk to anybody there." The company is now seriously considering promoting conversation in its stores. And the sunny, terrible people who frequent the Starbucks public suggestion factory, MyStarbucksIdea.com, think it's a "great idea!" More »
things we actually like
When Men Were Men And Women Made Their Coffee Right Or Got Cheated On
It's 1963 and this housewife had better find a better brand of coffee or her husband will taste a little of the secretary's, if you know what I mean (I mean he will sex them). As a reader said at Boing Boing, "It's like a teaser for season 2 of Mad Men!" More »
coffee
Starbucks' Ugly Brown Cups Give McDonald's The Opening It Needs
What exactly is Starbucks doing? They came out with their revolutionary, game-changing, not quite as burnt new house coffee last week, which pairs well with chocolate marble loaf. But along with the new $11,000 machines to make said coffee, the Death Star-like chain has introduced new coffee cups, and they're... brown? Was the design consultant who knows how to appeal to yuppies sick the day that decision was made? And now the company has bigger problems: McDonald's is determined to kick Starbucks' ass right where it lives. In Seattle! More »
bright ideas
Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever
Starbucks is set to begin selling a "smoother" — read: non-burnt — cup of coffee at all company-owned locations this morning. CEO Howard Schultz told the Journal the new roast is meant to "reinvent brewed coffee." Ah, so now properly roasting your beans makes you a revolutionary. That must be why the press release calls this day "historic" and the roast itself "historic." What could possibly be more hyperbolic than that? Oh, right, a brainwashed barista on StabucksGossip.com saying this will save the lives of children. I almost forgot! More »
nosplice:31
Employee Canned For Not Putting Starbucks First
A former Starbucks employee named Mary-Elise Smilek says she was fired after four years with the company, just because she couldn't attend last month's mandatory 3-hour retraining session/ PR stunt. She had a midterm to study for. Harsh! Now she's the subject of much debate among the bored employees and company drones at the Starbucks Gossip blog. Some say she's a hoax; some say she's a victim; and the most hardcore corporate robots say: she got what she deserved for not completely dedicating her life to the Starbucks cause! More »
NIGHTMARE AT SOHO STARBUCKS!
Is this a cruel hoax? A Gawker Operative reports: "I just came from the Starbucks on Spring/Crosby and they got no hot coffee! They got water pressure problems. I fucking bought a frappucino!" This could cripple the internet media.
Is this a cruel hoax? A Gawker Operative reports: "I just came from the Starbucks on Spring/Crosby and they got no hot coffee! They got water pressure problems. I fucking bought a frappucino!" This could cripple the internet media.
starbucks
$11,000 Coffee Machine Gets You Same Burnt Starbucks Coffee
As part of its brave new plan to stop hemorrhaging money, Starbucks went out and bought a company called Clover that makes coffee machines. These Clovers cost $11,000 each, and brew one cup of coffee at a time. We're not math whizzes or anything, but at that rate, those better be some good fucking cups of coffee. So the New York Times sent a coffee connoisseur to taste seven kinds of beans from the new machine, and he came to the stunning conclusion: not even a magical $11,000 gadget can make burned coffee beans taste good. More »
corporate america
