The U.S. government is increasings its efforts to help Central American farmers fight a harmful coffee fungus called "coffee rust,"which has caused more than $1 billion in damage across the Latin American region. As many as 500,000 people could lose their jobs due to the fungus and, much less importantly, your morning…
Whose Good Life Are These Coffee Shops "Positive Markers" Of?
A series of MIT Media Lab maps are percolating through the internet, showing the locations and "walksheds" of independent coffee shops in San Francisco, Brooklyn, and Cambridge. These shops play an important role in urban life, as the researchers explain in their project description:
Japan Loving That Garbage Coffee
Here in America, the home of taste and sophistication, we drink "tea," to demonstrate that we are not crude savages. In Japan, however, no "thousands of years of cultural legacy" can hide the fact that they drink garbage coffee.
Stupid Teens Reportedly Smoking Coffee for the Caffeine High
Rolling coffee up into "caffeine sticks" and smoking it is a hot new trend, and it's turning America's teens into "bean-heads," according to one specious local news report.
"Service isn't considered lesser than other professions because it's less honorable, or even requires fewer skills... These jobs are seen as lesser because we made them this way." Former barista Molly Osberg on the unstated Brooklyn class war.
McDonald's Still Wants to Be the New Starbucks
McDonald's was once known as a "restaurant" where Americans could purchase, at reasonable prices, hamburgers the size and flavor of air hockey discs. Those days are gone. Fast food is a loser's game. McDonald's now aims to be the new Starbucks.
Coffee is So Damn Cheap Right Now. Real Cheap.
Coffee, "The Bean of Kings," has a worth that might be considered infinite. But right this moment, it's worth is more accurately described as "Cheap as hell."
This Coffeehouse Will Charge You Less If You're Nice, More If You're Not
Taking a firm stand against discourteous customers, one coffeehouse has decided to charge its patrons based on how polite they are to employees.
"Your [morning] coffee will probably be the most effective if you enjoy it between 9:30 AM and 11:30 AM, when your cortisol levels are dropping before the next spike."
Your Coffee Is Getting Better, Not That You'll Notice
What's that? You detected a sweeter, gentler, more luxurious flavor in your Folgers this morning? Why yes, its quality has improved. You liar.
China's Government Takes on The Real Enemy: Starbucks Prices
China is afflicted with slowing economic growth, widespread poverty, and toxic air. And high prices at Starbucks. The Chinese government is definitely ready to address at least one of these issues.
This Vending Machine Will Give You Free Coffee If You Yawn In Its Face
To promote itself as the number one coffee brand of sleepyheads, Dutch roaster Douwe Egberts installed a very special vending machine in South Africa's O. R. Tambo International Airport that dispenses coffee in exchange for yawns.
Small Child Drinks Coffee Every Morning, Is Probably Always High
That headline could signal only one thing: the return of Toddlers & Tiaras. Well, it could signal the apocalypse too, I suppose. Really, the clip reel above from last night's season premiere is all about the first 9 seconds, which made me laugh harder than anything I can remember. Alexa says, "Wheeee!" and I feel her.
Everybody's Into Tea Now, Apparently
You like coffee? Yeah, I used to like coffee. I'm kind of over that now. I've evolved past that. I've advanced into tea. Tea is kind of the new "thing," for me and my 300 million closest friends, the citizens of the United States of America.
Might the Coffee Nerds Be Right?
It must be said right up front: coffee is a utilitarian beverage that exists mainly to wake you up. Therefore, treating coffee as some delicate wine-like treat that can only be appreciated by a select group of gourmands is absurd. Or is it?
Thatz Not Okay: Jerking Off at a Slumber Party; Decaf Demonry
Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."
New Drink Regulations Force New Yorkers to Confront Essential Toxicity of Their Caffeinated Syrup Beverages
New York City's ban on the sale of sugary drinks goes into effect on Tuesday, and The New York Times would have you believe "coffee drinkers... are likely to face a thicket of complications." This is wrong. Coffee drinkers—people who drink actual coffee in appropriate amounts—will be fine. Others—people who drink…
Starbucks has a UK tax scandal. "It just smells and it doesn't smell of coffee. It smells bad." Like Starbucks coffee.
When Oopsies Leads to Death: Student Nurse Who Injected Patient With Coffee Argues 'Anyone Can Get Confused'
In a plotline so dark not even Scrubs would touch it—and Scrubs was not afraid to go dark; it had comedy and heart—a student nurse has been indicted for involuntary manslaughter for killing a patient by accidentally injecting her with coffee instead of IV fluid.
What's the Most Disgusting Coffee Order You've Ever Heard?
Today is National Coffee Day, one of countless non-holidays that would go unnoticed if not for the internet.
