Gawker
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scholars
James Franco's Rejected UCLA Speech: 'Who Doesn't F-ing Fall Asleep in Class?!'
Last month James Franco was supposed to deliver UCLA's commencement address, but he screwed the grads by backing out so he could go to a party—we thought. Now we know the real reason he didn't deliver the address.
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advice
Recent J-School Grad Cries to Cary Tennis
Salon's Cary Tennis is a clinically insane advice columnist. Lately he's been hearing from recent graduates whining about the job market (Remember the Harvard grad who couldn't hold a fast-food gig?) Today it's an ice cream-slingling J-school grad. More »
6,726
Comment by anibundel: Does it mean I'm officially over 30 that my reaction to this letter was "suck it up and get a... 6 Responses | Other threads
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college
UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
Remember last week when James Franco canceled his UCLA commencement address scheduled for this Friday so he could attend a kegger or something? Well, the school announced Franco's replacement today and it's, well, just plain awful. More » -
college
James Franco Totally Screwed UCLA's Grads, Brah
Noted sleep-deprived grad student/part-time thespian James Franco was scheduled to deliver the commencement address at UCLA next Friday (What, was Skeet Ulrich not available?), but he backed out today at the last minute, and now the Bruin Nation is weeping!
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ivy league
Dumpster-Diving Townies Menace Princetonians
Princeton was on lock down because somebody saw somebody walking around with a gun! But now the "all clear" has gone out. It was just drunk dumpster-diving townies threatening the Ivy Leaguers with a squirt gun, as usual: More »
3,399
Comment by Private Hangnail: Where I come from, underage Townies wander in packs armed with assault rifles. They drink a thick liqueur distilled from... 7 Responses | Other threads
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mistakes
One Little Hate Crime Gets Tancredo Employee Un-accepted To Law School
So this Tom Tancredo speechwriter/director at Tancredo's PAC got in a bit of trouble (arrested) a couple years back for calling a black woman "nigger" and then karate chopping her. Obviously, this two-year-old incident was just a youthful indiscretion. But guess who doesn't get to go to UVA anymore! More »
10,037
By PareeneComment by daveyjonesisdead: So he's a racist lying criminal. I suppose fraud is the only bell he has left to ring. 5 Responses | Other threads
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college
Obama Defuses ASU Honorary Degree Controversy With Disgusting Humility
Here's some of Obama's address to graduates at Arizona State University, America's leading institution of higher learning for twats, where he stated that he "hadn't done enough in my life" to warrant an honorary degree. More »
8,557
Comment by tigolbitties: wait, why was he speaking at ASU's graduation? do people have to accept all the invitations to be commencement speakers... 8 Responses | Other threads
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kids today
So Let's All Hate This Kid Now
Hey, New York wants you to know about this little budding interior designer kid, a senior at Drew College out in Jersey. He is a treat, if you're into really precocious youngsters. And aren't we? More »
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By PareeneComment by i'm a bottle: God, who wasn't utterly pretentious in college, in one way or another? -- Be it our hipsterish-ironic taste in music,... 7 Responses | Other threads
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the kids today
NYU Students We Actually Like
Two reasons to enjoy Nyle's video "Let the Beat Build": 1) It was shot all in one take with live music, and 2) refreshingly optimistic lyrics about creative ambition in the New Depression. More »
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Comment by Motoko Kusanagi: THIS is impressive: All I hear above is pointless rhymes and sloppy levels. Sorry...just being honest. 7 Responses | Other threads
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higher learning
More New School Arrests Last Night
The New School kids just won't stop getting arrested. At 10 p.m. last night, 200 protesters gathered in Union Square and tried to march en masse to New School president Bob Kerrey's house. More »
3,896
By John CookComment by BxgrlJeri: I've heard they hate Starbucks. They can't be all bad. I might be tempted to run the risk... 15 Responses | Other threads
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videuhoh
Actual NYPD Brutality (And Lies!) Caught on Tape
Well now: just because college protesters falsely cry "Police Brutality" sometimes doesn't mean that real police misconduct doesn't exist. For example: you can't knock kids down and arrest them because they say "Shame": More »
9,770
Comment by MisterHippity: I think the "shame" guy was arrested for third-degree screaming-like-a-girl. 14 Responses | Other threads
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higher learning
New New School Occupation Crushed With Extreme Prejudice
Recent student takeovers at the New School and NYU were allowed to drag on for days with negotiations and demands; but today's New School takeover has already been crushed by cops! And there's no amnesty:
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10,814
Comment by AldabellaLibra: A Response to Bob Kerrey's "Note to the Community" Today we witnessed undoubtedly the greatest disgrace in the history of the... 7 Responses | Other threads
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shut up, college
Heroic State Senator Saves College Students From Porn
There's nothing dumber or more transparent than "ironically" watching a porn movie with your buddies for laughs. But college students need to learn this for themselves, Maryland State Senate! More »
5,539
By PareeneComment by Rumpelstilskin: When I ran an independent student film society at Chapel Hill a generation ago, we were in the hole (tee-hee,... 8 Responses | Other threads
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gawker stalker
Jonathan Taylor Thomas: 116th Street at Broadway
[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] Feb. 11 @ 7pm JTT goes to school here and is in a class with a friend of mine. Very very short! But still cute.
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Comment by BxgrlJeri: Isn't he like 30? What is he going to school for? 7 Responses | Other threads
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college daze
John Thain's Beer-Sponsored Canoe Race Scandal
John Thain recently got into a bit of trouble for aiding the collapse of global capitalism. But he survived this scandal from his MIT says, so surely he'll weather this storm. The college thing? More »
2,578
By PareeneComment by SiennaMemnon: What's the lesson here? Thain and his ilk have just done what the old robber barons did: take as... more » | Other threads
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drinking
David Plouffe, Beer Pong Expert
We liked him so much when all we knew was that he gave us our new president of hope, but Obama campaign manager David Plouffe ruined all that by babbling about beer pong to Esquire. More »
6,439
By PareeneComment by Mount_Prion: What bothered me about beer pong in school was that whenever people would start playing it, all other conversation died. It... 7 Responses | Other threads
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kreepie kats
Kreepie Kats in: "The Riot Don't Stop 'Til Bob Kerrey is a Shivering Puddle of Wizz!!"
[The Kats are cranky this week as they watch a college riot involving the word "provost." Also, Jim Behrle's season's greetings.] More »
1,779
By behrleComment by Housebroken(mostly): The bear make great point....viva la New New School!!!! more » | Other threads
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james franco
Hermione: Ditching Hogwarts for Harvard?
Good news for all of the nerds who've had wet dreams about Hermione since age twelve - Harry Potter actress Emma Watson is applying to college, and she's thinking about leaving the esteemed halls of Hogwarts and heading to the States to get her education! We're sure the rising seniors over at Sigma Alpha Epsilon will be taking bets on who will nail her first while eager potential dormmates list "magic" and "sorcery" as interests when filling out their roommate request forms. More » -
college
Hollywood Treats Labor Day Moviegoers to Festive Abundance Of Crap
Welcome to a special Labor Day edition of Defamer Attractions, your regular guide to what's new, noteworthy and potentially nausea-inducing this week at the movies. We're as shocked as anyone to see another bottleneck for wide releases, with five films vying for scarce holiday dollars before studios roll out their fall collections. Alas, there they are — only one dumpee can finish on top, and our overeducated guess follows below. We've also got a hunch over who stands to lose big, our regular underdog pick for your consideration, and the best of the best new DVD releases for you three-day-weekend homebodies. As always, our choices are our own but positively elegant in their accuracy. You're welcome! More » -
catholic girls
Princeton Princess Stephany Xu Used To Smoke Opiate Of Masses
Remember Stephany Her RoyalHighness, that incoming Princeton freshman who wrote that batshit Nietzschian Facebook letter to the Class of 2012? No? Let's refresh: "We are the anti-Christs to save the world from the mercy of God, the self-pity that festers within the masses," was a key sentence. And: "Religion is the opiate of the masses, so drug them until they are nothing but slaves at your will." Hey, turns out Stephany — last name Xu — is a product of our nation's dying Catholic schools! Stephany — who plans to maybe major in child psychology to help abused and neglected children! — was salutatorian at John Paul II High School in Plano, Texas. (Motto: Seek To Serve.) That's her in uniform above! She even gave a slightly more Jesus-compliant version of her screed in her graduation speech: More » -
tough love
An Open Letter To The Princess Of Princeton
Yesterday some kid named "Stephany" born in the nineties wrote a Facebook message to fellow members of Princeton Class of 2012, and now we have her picture. (There's another after the jump!) Inspired by its imagery (ripped condoms! bloody lips!) but also by its flawed underlying assumption that anyone gives a shit where you went to college, we crafted our own letter, to all the young people who ever went to college, as part of what we plan to make a regular feature, Tough Love.
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By MoeComment by Drunken Economist: *sigh* No wonder this wasn't tagged 'Stephany Xu'.. and hence buried. It's TLDR fodder. C'mon, this is the *worst thing*... more » | Other threads
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bastards of young
The Internet Says Drop Out of School!
The internet is full of scorn and advice for The Youngs, today. Everyone is so concerned! It's sweet. As we mentioned, Doree explores the topic of foolish Ivy League entitlement at some length in The Observer. Young-on-young violence! Meanwhile some of us are forced into oppressive internshps. An angry old man says quit bitching, basically. A sad young literary old man has advice (?) about how we Youngs are full of GUFF. Guff toward him! Of all people! This rubs some youngs the wrong way. But there is a solution! To everyone's problem! Everyone needs to drop out of school, as soon as possible. The best of the best have done it and lived to tell the tale. Including that angry old guy from before, who was, once again, ahead of the curve. He has moved on to unemployment, which is, we hear, similarly freeing. Who else is in? Update: Ha ha ha. Maybe we should all learn trades?
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By PareeneComment by RollsRoyceRevenge: @Tyrone-Slothrop: I can't believe it either. I thought the old duffer he referred to was an actual person he... more » | Other threads
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shut up, brooklyn
Williamsburg Activity Guide Leaves Off 'Hating Everyone'
At least three staff members of the New York Observer live in Williamsburg, the Brooklyn neighborhood where every description was already a cliché like, ten years ago, dude. And they're determined to parlay their job at a somewhat relevant media outlet into some easy hipster sex this summer. So today they put together a long and infuriating package about living the post-college high life in "Williamsburg College." The two theses of the story are "Williamsburg does not blow!" and "it's not that different from college anyway." Only one of which is true. More » -
college
Why My Alumni Magazine Will Never Be As Good As Facebook
What are alumni magazines for? I always thought they were just a fund-raising tool posing as publications. After all, Grove City College sends mine along with donation requests, even though I dropped out a semester early to work for Gawker Media (which means I have a good twenty years to pay off my college loans before I think about handing over more money voluntarily). But the New York Times says their most important role is "dormitory common rooms for grown-ups." And now Facebook is replacing alumni magazines as the gathering place for graduates (and drop-outs!). Makes sense to me; I never thought of writing into GCC's alumni mag to report on my career, but I'll update my job title on Facebook and I do have all my college friends there. What about people who graduated before Facebook? Are you switching your social life to the site? Did you ever use your alumni mag for that sort of thing? More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by La Mareada: @Nick Douglas: The problem with the internet, is that we can't do as our father's generation and pretend we cruised... more » | Other threads
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shut up, college
Midwestern College Students Disappointed With Midwestern Commencement Speaker
Students at Northwestern are apparently outraged that their school selected stupid Chicago mayor Richard Daley to speak at commencement. Boooring! They wanted John McCain, the Dalai Lama, or last year's speaker, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Some whiny Northwestern kid emailed the school's president, who actually responded with some amusing sniping: More » -
priya venkatesan
Everyone Passes Student-Suing Prof's Class!
Finally, some good news for the students Dartmouth lecturer Priya Venkatesan (we can spell her name without looking it up now! Christ!) tried to sue, or is maybe still trying to sue, or who at the very least will soon end up in her tell-all book. The writing class they took with her last semester is now retroactively pass/fail! School officials "reviewed the grades she gave to students in the Winter term and have concluded that they were not consistent with the feedback that she provided to the students." So said Associate Dean Lindsay Whaley, who will now be added to the lawsuit, in the court of make-believe. [Dartmouth Review] -
lawsuits
Ivy League Prof Sues Students For Being Mean to Her
A Dartmouth lecturer is suing her class for discrimination, as she revealed in a series of regrettable and bizarre emails that promptly ended up all over Dartmouth blogs. Priya Venkatesan (Dartmouth '90, MS in Genetics, PhD in literature) emailed members of her Winter '08 Writing 5 class Saturday night to announce her intention to seek damages from them for their being mean to her. The email, and so, so much more, below:
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By PareeneComment by AdjunctingSucks: Amazing. She has a PhD in English, yet keeps revising her revised emails in order to revise how much she... more » | Other threads
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Stay Out
A Renter's Guide to Manhattan
Aww... It's the class of 2008! All growed up and coming to NYC for that awesome career and super apartment like in Friends or Sex and the City? Sorry, little camper, we don't serve your kind! "The thousands of new graduates who will be driving the engine of the city’s rental market from now until September will quickly learn that renting in New York is not like renting anywhere else. The second shock is likely to be how small a Manhattan apartment can be. It is not uncommon in New York, for example, to shop for a junior one-bedroom or a convertible one-bedroom, neither of which is a true one-bedroom at all but really a studio that already has or can have a wall put up to create a bedroom." More »
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Comment by ClareAndromeda: We'll take em in Woodlawn (BX). It's a thousand a month for a 1 BR. I'm only inviting you... more » | Other threads
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quick rant
Caught Between A Rock And A Dumb Place
Go Elis! Only not. In the past ten days, we've had larceny charges against an aspiring Galie and pseudo abortion, pseudo art project from senior Aliza Shvarts. It's enough to make Harvard appealing. But on a beautiful spring day like this, when faux controversies surround art and reproductive rights, we do sort of miss college. Where else could a debate over Shvarts's "art" not immediately conclude with, "she's a savvy media whore who is willing sell her name, body and college intuitions for publicity." It's nearly impossible to pick the most offensive aspect of this little project. That Shvartz maybe lied to create publicity, that maybe Yale lied to protect itself from a student, or what she actually claimed to do, which is to induce miscarriages to get people "to think." It's like we're caught between a world of The Hills and Abortion Art. Can't there be a happy medium, like Top Chef?
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By rebeccaComment by Buzz Killington: Can we PLEASE just close all the universities already? more » | Other threads
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charts & graphs
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Statistical Proof That Drinking Isn't Worth It
When Facebook isn't invading privacy, it's occasionally rolling out features we don't despise. Their new application Lexicon culls words and phrases from users' walls to create fun charts. In the "party tonight" "hangover" match-up, the latter curiously tends to spike shorty after the former. (Click image to enlarge). Another comparison reveals that people "lol" way more than they "omg." Well, if the kids don't have god, at least they have laughter. Hit up the comments with other fun conclusions about the modern era drawn from the Facebook lexicon. [via Fimoculous] -
the riches
Even Rich Students Bone to Get Ahead
New research shows that wealthy college students will trade sexual favors to get what they want. Researchers interviewed 475 undergraduate students and discovered that 25% of them would exchange sexual currency for provisions. The attempted trades included: tickets to the University of Michigan vs. Ohio State game, studying assistance, laundry washed, a Louis Vuitton bag and voice lessons. More »
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Comment by valval: Besides it's like only with the most 'exclusive' guys on campus with the highest quality drugs more » | Other threads
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why we're fat
Why We're Fat
Colleges are now trying to lure prospective students by amping up their dining hall menus, adding fancy foods like lobster and something called "pho." "I didn't apply to Bates, because, well, I ate there, the meal was not very good," says Lucas Braun, a 17-year-old senior at Westtown School. Hey, college food is bad for a reason. So you'll spend less time in the dining hall and more time learning shit. Now get back to studying so we don't have to waste time teaching you everything four years from now when you're our intern.
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Comment by Twerpsichore: These kids need a little botulism toxin in their salad bars. And some trashcan punch. At'll teach you to stay... more » | Other threads
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nerd alert
This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read
College students at 65 separate institutions are actively play Quidditch, the fictional game J. K. Rowling invented for the fictional character Harry Potter. As one Middlebury student says in this clip from CBS News, "when you put this broom between your legs, you really are flying." Ok, dude. Excelsior! If Harry Potter is the only thing that can save publishing, then maybe the industry deserves to die. -
drugs
How Not To Advocate Responsible Drug Use on FOX
Former Jezebel intern and attempted Paris Hilton free-er David Seaman was on Fox's Morning Show With Mike and Juliet today to talk about Salvia, the hot new (legal!) drug that's taking America's colleges by storm. "They told me I'd be on to talk about why I'm in favor of keeping certain drugs legal," Seaman said in an email to friends and colleagues, "and why many college students agree that some decriminalization for soft drugs makes sense." He had a little argument worked out and everything! But he was on The Morning Show With Mike and Juliet so they actually just sat him next to some mook who posts clips of kids having bad trips on YouTube and interviewed a doctor who says all the drugs will cause deadly car crashes. Then they introduced a girl whose brother killed himself on the Salvia! Seaman's entertaining email describing his ordeal is after the jump. A brief clip is attached. More »
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By PareeneComment by veganfarts: @4_Chan!!!!!11!one: DDDude what are trying to say? I don't get your point, your mixing your words-- jibberish- Crazy talk- hmmmm (sounds of bubbling, inhaling and... more » | Other threads
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recession watch
NYU Freezes Hiring In Face of Coming Economic Meltdown
New York University announced a plan last Friday to save $25 through an administrative hiring freeze and restructuring. While the school announced the plan in the name of efficiency and passing the savings onto the students, a memo from NYU President John Sexton placed the blame squarely on NYU's "high ratio of dreams to resources," also calling out "a world where financial markets are in turmoil, the US economy and currency are weakening, and our elected officials are raising serious questions about higher education." Not to mention that today's generation of high school students has never even heard of Felicity, and the Olsens have been gone for years. Details of the hiring freeze at NYUNews, Sexton's full memo after the jump. More »
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By PareeneComment by mitchel_stevens: @loserface: she went in 200...5? 06? she's there now. waiting. more » | Other threads
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publicity stunts
Is Rachel Bilson Feeling Guilty About This Monkey?
Former O.C. and current Jumper actress Rachel Bilson is complaining in Nylon about the chimp dressed as a Santa for website College Humor's last Christmas party: "Maybe I overreacted because I was too tired, but it made me so mad! All these people were drunk and taking pictures, and it was horrible!" It was a pretty white-trashy stunt, but it's hard to come up with new ways to throw money around sometimes. A December Page Six item says that Bilson actually "jumped the half-hour line" to get her picture taken with the chimp, but College Humor co-founder Ricky Van Veen says, "She didn't cut the line. She and her friend were leaving the party, so i brought them to the front of the line for a quick look. She was really nice to everybody." The chimp, who goes by the name of Louie, was unavailable for comment. Update! Louie's latest career move &mdash starring in a Human Giant comedy video &mdash after the jump! He is hilar. More »
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By SheilaComment by Noelle Hancock: Quick look, my ass. She TOTALLY cut the line and took a picture with that chimp. I was there and... more » | Other threads
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shut up, college
Stanford Turf War; Troops Amassing
Well, on the Internets, anyway! In just "five minutes a day," you can play popular world-domination game Risk, designed for Stanford University campus. "Will FloMo take over Lake Lagunita? Should Stern and Wilbur seek out an alliance? Can the Upper Row unite?" [Stanford Turf]
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By SheilaComment by procrastinator, esq.: As much territory as they fake-dominate, they're still in fucking Palo ("Shallow") Alto, and worse, they're still on the Peninsula. Stanford... more » | Other threads
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sex
Magazine Work No Guarantee Of Getting Laid
Despite the abundance of college sex magazines these days, it turns out that college kids are actually having less sex than in times past. The average number of partners per year for college men dropped from 2.1 in 2000 to 1.6 in 2006. And everybody overestimates how much sex everybody else is having. Alecia Oleyourrik, the editor of BU's Boink sex magazine and a co-producer of a book (misleadingly) called "College Sex by the People Having It," admits to being "the most prudish" of all her friends. She is looking for work as a waitress in New York, in case any sexless restaurants are hiring [Newsweek]. So much false advertising! Especially considering the covers [slightly NSFW] of some of Boink's past issues (except the masturbation issue, I guess): More »
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Comment by collegecallgirl: @CaptainFantastic: You know I am. (As long as you're not a Jew.) more » | Other threads
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college
"Students Prefer Easy Courses and 'Hot' Professors" [TaxProf Blog]
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interactive media
Maps: Plagiarism At The American College Newspaper
Mind thievery at Brown University! A couple of rascally student reporters at the college's daily paper stand accused of lifting material from the Yale Daily News and Harvard's Crimson. (We're assuming there's no point in cribbing from the Cornell paper.) New York Times ethicist Randy Cohen dispensed a little sage advice there in December, telling a very interested crowd that taking Adderall to keep up a GPA was basically fine. "You can't be unethical all by yourself," he said. Great—like the world needs more overly-ambitious tweaked-out fabulists. This is Brown's third incident of plagiarism in as many months, and something like the tenth at an Ivy League school in the last year. Do Ivy Leaguers stretch the truth more than their counterparts? Who are the fibbiest kid reporters in the country? After the jump, a map of collegiate plagiarism scandals from the last few years. More »
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college
New York, 11:56 PM
Thu Jul 16
49 posts in the last 24 hours
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