Shorter Bret Stephens: You college brats are all lefty molly-coddled pissants. Now, please hire me to do more commencement speeches! Wah wah wahhh, Bret. Wah wah wahhhh.
Rising GOP Star Drops Out of Commencement Over Gay Marriage-Bestiality Comparison
Dr. Ben Carson, the Johns Hopkins neurosurgeon and rising Republican star, announced Wednesday that he will no longer be speaking at the commencement for Johns Hopkins School of Medicine after making some inflammatory comments about gay marriage. On a Fox News appearance, Carson compared gay marriage to bestiality…
Watch Stephen Colbert's Hilarious Northwestern Commencement Speech
This morning in Evanston, Illinois, Northwestern University's 2,800 graduating students gathered for commencement. On hand to give the commencement address? None other than alum Stephen Colbert of the class of '86, who delivered an uproarious 20-minute speech which squeezed in references to campus controversies like…
Georgetown 'Univeristy' Has Some Trouble With Spelling
A tipster sent in one of the above photos of Georgetown University's thick commencement book, which cleverly doubles as a last-minute spelling test. We're not, obviously, in a great position to criticize the typographical errors of others; on the other hand, we're not an accredited institution of higher learning. […
Ann Curry's Unedited Commencement Gaffe Is Now Online
Speaking of commencement: Here's unedited video Ann Curry messing up Wheaton's graduation. [via]
Columbia Valedictorian Plagiarized Graduation Speech
Columbia University's General Studies valedictorian Brian Corman copied a Patton Oswalt joke verbatim in his valedictory speech. Between this and Ann Curry's inability to identify which college she was addressing, this year's is one bum commencement crop.
And You Thought Jack Donaghy Was a Princeton Man
[Alec Baldwin greets fans before his commencement speech for alma mater NYU, at Yankee Stadium earlier today. Image via Getty.]
Where Should Obama Go to School?
You can vote for a high school and Barack Obama will deliver a commencement speech there. Here are the choices:
The Holed World In His Hands
[A Harvard student looks deflated at his graduation ceremony, held today in Cambridge; image via Getty]
Money Doesn't Matter, Billionaire Oprah Tells College Grads
Talk-show host and self-made billionaire Oprah Winfrey was the commencement speaker for Stanford grads this past weekend. Her advice for the new grads? Do what you're meant to do! "When you're doing the work you were meant to do, it feels right. And every day is a bonus, regardless of what you're getting paid." Easy…
Midwestern College Students Disappointed With Midwestern Commencement Speaker
Students at Northwestern are apparently outraged that their school selected stupid Chicago mayor Richard Daley to speak at commencement. Boooring! They wanted John McCain, the Dalai Lama, or last year's speaker, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Some whiny Northwestern kid emailed the school's president, who actually responded…
