In the four years since comments were introduced on Gawker Media sites (yes, there was a time before comments), your tireless editors have always had a sort of love-hate relationship with the people who are kind enough to take the time to scrutinize our every move. As much as it can drive you batty to try and run an editorial operation in front of an audience of hecklers, our readers also supply the site with some of its best wit and tips. Traditionally the way we've heard from you is either through our tipline or in comments, and then one of your editors has decided whether something is worthy for the site.

Now there's a third way: we're throwing open the site to anyone who wants to publish anything.

The basic way this works is that you can type a comment, upload a photo, or embed a video into that box up top and it will be published on the site wherever you choose by giving it a Twitter-style hashtag. So, got a news tip or link? Tag it #tips and it will show up here. If you saw someone famous, use #stalker and it will go straight to the Gawker Stalker page. Or you can use your own tags. Got something to say about Anna Wintour, send it to the #annawintour page. Have an internal memo to post, tag it #internalmemos. Or make up your own. We're trying to learn to stop worrying and love the chaos.

While this all sounds fairly anarchic (it is), the hierarchical commenting system still applies. If you're not an approved commenter, your posting has to be approved by an editor, moderator, or star commenter and the two-tier system applies to these tag pages, too. And, as always, trouble-makers will be banned. There's a revised Commenter FAQ if you want to brush up.

Oh! And I almost forgot to add: there's now a very cool, long-requested new notification function. When someone responds to one of your comments, there will be a little box on the top of the home page that says "You have TK new replies" and will link you to them. One more: Also long-requested, under "Settings" in your profile, you can set your default comment view to see just the featured comments or all of them as well as whether you'd like to see them in newest first or oldest first. Just click your name at the top of the page to visit your profile.

If you notice bugs, please let us know in comments. Today should be fun.

The Cleveland Plain-Dealer is vowing to clean up the comments sections of the stories on its website. The paper noticed that the comments "too often racist or otherwise hate-filled." GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. LOL


Arthur "New York Times" "Pinch" Sulzberger the Elder is a "Brave Thinker," according to The Atlantic, because he has been brave by spending money on his company, a newspaper, which is undeniably in the newspaper industry. That makes him brave right up until the day when it makes him stupid.


The Newark Star-Ledger, which came perilously close to going out of business last year, just told its staff that "at least 50" more buyoutlayoffs are in the pipeline. Well. That sucks.


The Chinese magazine Caijing—respected internationally for its investigative stories—is in the midst of a staff uprising over questions of editorial integrity and censorship. The mag's editor Hu Shuli is one of China's foremost muckrakers and was profiled in the New Yorker a few months back. We should all send them good vibes celebrating freedom of the press against government intervention. "China government poop." There.

I know, I know: they're everywhere. And how many holidays can they have, amirite? Too many. But back to Joey Ramone: the guy was schitzo, we learned. Maybe "I Wanna Be Sedated" wasn't so much a cry to get fucked up as it was a cry for help, and we all sang along and tried to huff as much glue or snort as many pixie sticks as we could in high school. We heard fun. The same way David Letterman's audience heard a joke when he started talking about the "terrible" indiscretions he had. David Letterman has sex? They thought. Hysterical! Except, go watch that clip again. Letterman is seething with anger: anger at his audience, the people laughing. Anger at the crooks who try to exploit him. Anger at himself for often occupying the role of a professional clown. And mostly: self-loathing anger.

Which brings us back to that Iranian guy in denial: sometimes, you gotta face who you are, whether you're a Jew, a pussy hound, or an insane punk rocker whose fans devolved from paint-addicted Manhattan punks to the suburban decay of Hot Topic shoppers, throwing a shirt with your face on it right on the counter with a poster of Robert Pattinson's fangy, sparkly face, and busting out mom's credit card. Then again, you're still the guy who wrote "Judy Is a Punk." So you've got that going for you. Also, you're dead. Which after the sadness wears off, is pretty punk, too.

Tomorrow! We've got Altarcations coming at you at 2:30. SNL Digest should be around by 3:30. Ryan Reynolds and Our Lady Of The Immaculate Penis, Lady Gaga, are on tonight's show. I was in the same room with Lady Gaga this week, and yes, we'll definitely be talking about that at some point. Also, did you know this site used to have job listings? It's true. I'm bringing those back tomorrow, as well a nice list of media pussy hounds. Isn't it fun to say? Pussy hound! That should be fun.

Apologies for the slow schedule, friends: I was down with the aforementioned Jew tummy ache. I ate too many Etrogs last night. I'll be around here for a bit. Have a good night, enjoy the show, and crank it. Joey?

Michael Jackson talked to rabbis. Did you know tomorrow night is Yom Kippur? Maybe I'll repent for all those typos, or George Bush will repent for not giving J.K. Rowling a Presidential Medal of Honor because Jesus hates wizards or whatever.

Hopefully Lorne Michaels won't have to repent for Saturday Night Live sucking tonight, as its having it's premiere! And we should be excited for it. I'll probably drop in here to blog a little bit of it. Maybe banks will preemptively repent for screwing world economies in a very uncomfortable place: their wallets! Did you know they made $5.2B in trading derivatives in the second fiscal quarter? Well: they did. How 'bout that? Also: is this Rupert Murdoch Twitter account real? The world: I have questions for it.

Finally, if you're in New York, Phoenix is playing in Central Park! Which is pretty big for them. Lots of famous bands have played Central Park, and they went from being obscure and French to famous and French, which in this country: impressive. A Pitchfork writer (as they sometimes do) put it best:

Even after TV placements, Apple ads, movie trailer placements, Brat Pack YouTube videos, and 103 plays according to my iTunes, "Lisztomania" has not gotten old. I don't understand how this is possible, but I'm not questioning it. Even lead singer Thomas Mars' ever-so-slight lyrical flub near the beginning of their performance of the song on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" only makes me like this band more. They are human beings making invincible songs.

So true. Tomorrow: Altarcations at 2:30, the Washington Post's Twitter Guidelines (which we'll try not to steal, har), figuring out whether or not New York Times dining editor Pete Wells hates food, and more. Until then, catchy songs. Crank it:

Also, I'm going to be promoting and demoting threads today like crazy. Giving gold stars, taking away gold stars (hey, more antisemitism accusations! Hee.). But you're not allowed to make meta jokes, because that's boring, and I'll demote for that. Other thing I'll demote for: sucking. Something I'll promote for: being awesome! And that's how the new comments system works.

One final thing: I'm on the lookout for good blog posts from other places. Remember blogs? They're still out there! You see something, say something.

Now, after all that food posting, aren't you hungry? Let me know how your Free Slurpee Crusades To End World Starvation are going. Also, $500 to anyone with photographic proof of Ruth Madoff getting a free Slurpee. I'm serious.

Our deepest apologies for making your Friday go by that much slower. If you're in New York, today is a really nice day to take a long break outside somewhere.

There have been a number of other tech complaints — the login button not showing up in the menu toolbar, other browers not playing nicely with the new comments, images not showing up in our RSS feeds — and I'm assured that new servers are being purchased, code rewritten and other tech things that I do not understand are being done to iron things out. It might take the weekend to get fixed, so I appreciate you bearing with us.

But aside from all that, for those of you who have been able to get into comments, what do you think of the first 24 hours of the new hierarchy? So far, we've been pleasantly surprised by the absence of an uprising aside from the general griping that any redesign seems to foster.

The biggest source of complaints seems to be the folks who are unhappy with the whole notion of hierarchy as instituting a caste system. I don't want to refute that notion entirely — exclusivity has its own mystique — but I think some clarification is needed here. The point of dividing the comments into two sections isn't entirely about creating a clique of cool kids. Rather, it's about drawing out the comments that are going to be interesting to our many, many readers who don't make a habit of jumping into comments without scaring them off with a lot of the commenter games that don't make much sense outside Gawker's own commenter community.

For a long time, stars were handed out to people who commented regularly with some level of wit or insight. With the new star powers, we're changing the criteria a bit: we're looking for people to help us filter out those most brilliant comments that lots of people come to the site to read. So, instead of simply handing stars out to the people we like — we love all our commenters equally! (that's not true) — we've made the stars more about responsibilities than popularity.

For instance: if you have a star, try promoting the most worthy of the unstarred. Your name will appear right under the comment (earning you good will and who knows what else) by using your thumbs up tool. And it also means steering clear of trolls and the idiots since anything a star commenter responds to gets promoted to the featured section.

And, of course, you should know that if this sounds like too much of a chore, then Gawker still has a place for people to come and chat with their friends. Just click "Show all comments" at the bottom and comment to your heart's content. Assuming that the comments will load for you, of course.

When Gawker first introduced comments, they were an exclusive club. As we've grown, we've opened up the doors more and more, and our comments have become, to be charitable, more freewheeling. Today, we the editors are taking control back with what we're calling "featured comments" as the place directly under posts to gather the best of the best, as decided by your tireless editors and star commenters.

But before I get into that, a few other changes:

• You have 15 minutes after you leave a comment to edit it. So, please, no more comments pointing out your typos.
• There are new tools to easily upload images and YouTube videos. Use them!
• Comment threads are only viewable by reverse chronology, just like on Facebook and Twitter.

Now about those star powers. The editors are the only ones who can give you a star, and we'll be giving them out to the commenters we trust the most. This means that many people who have stars now will be losing them. But for those who keep their stars, your comments will automatically appear in the featured comments, and you will have the ability to promote non-star comments up to the top level. In fact, just replying to a comment will bump up to the front page. You'll also see all of the unapproved comments left by new users and can approve the ones that you think are up to snuff. But use your powers wisely. We're going to be taking a closer look at who's doing what. Use your star powers to make mischief, and we'll take them away.

So what kind of comments are we looking to feature? We're giving more prominence to the featured comments because we've realized that they go a long way to setting the tone of the site. So, we want them to be an addition to what we post, not just an open-forum place to rant. We want to feature comments that are first and foremost about the post they're left on. They may add information, be a well-reasoned critique, a particularly funny line or, if you're named in the item, a rebuttal. Oh, and proper grammar counts. What we're not looking for: snark for snark's sake, comments about Gawker, IM-like conversations, attacks on your editors, comments pointing out how stupid other comments are (do not engage the trolls) and basically anything else that we don't like.

There are no doubt going to be plenty of glitches and bugs, and please email those to me. As for any other questions, ask away in the comments.

For reference, here's our overlord Nick Denton's rundown on the new changes:

Six months later, we're finally ready to go live with the Ganja power commenting system across the nine sites of Gawker Media. Here's why we've overhauled the comments — and a summary of the key changes you'll notice on the sites later today. There will be some glitches and many complaints — but the new system is elegant, already rich in editorial possibilities with so much more to come. It's an enormous accomplishment by the tech team in Budapest, New York — and Kansas City.

1. THE PROBLEM

As a site gets bigger, the comments tend to get busier — and sometimes more annoying. Our titles are no exception. Deadspin's had to contend with a war between the daytime and nighttime users; Jezebel editors battle for control with a politically-correct mob; perceptions of Gawker are set by a small group of glib and bitchy commenters. All sites that are growing as rapidly as ours have something like this problem — and one that can't be solved simply by banning the offenders or applying more strictly our approval process.

It can't be solved because the most pernicious comments don't come from trolls or spammers. Those can be easily identified and barred. What ruins a good discussion is what we could call the chatty commenter. They may be a devoted reader, someone we don't have the heart to ban. But they only occasionally contribute something to the sum of human knowledge. And the chatty commenters — because there are so many of them — set the tone. Their presence puts off the subjects of items — or other people with something interesting to say.

So we need to introduce another level — the power commenter — to the hierarchy. We used to refer to our comment environment as a club — with a velvet rope to keep the riff-raff out on the street. Well, now the club is too busy. If we're going to maintain credibility, we need a the equivalent of a VIP room. We'll populate the VIP room by giving special privileges to star commenters. They'll get prominence and space — as will their guests. And — we hope — it will be this salon that sets the tone of discussion.

Our comments have stood out amid the illiterate abuse and empty-headed wittering of the rest of the internet; we're going to make sure it stays that way as the audience continues to expand.

2. THE KEY CHANGES

* Privileges for star commenters (see below)
* Image and video embedding in comments
* Comment threads switched (like Facebook and Twitter) to reverse chronological order
* Related stories show to the right of each post (and a few other design changes)
* Comments can now be edited (for 15 minutes after publishing)

3. RIGHTS OF A STAR COMMENTER

* A gold star next to each commenter's name (as now)
* Comments given priority and published immediately after post
* A star commenter can see comments even before a moderator has approved them
* By replying to any comment, a star commenter can give it priority
* Promotion of another's comments to the featured section

4. THE FUTURE

* Many more items such as interviews, live chats, live blogs, contests and photo pools
* Web submission and publishing of tips
* Discussion forums around personalities and topics
* Commenting via Twitter
* Rebuttal rights for the subject of an article
* Commenters able to call on friends or colleagues for support in an online discussion

Old No.7 on IMDb Now Offering Megan Fox Career Commentary: Was the Starmeter around for Anne Heche (Psycho)?

Inhaler on Meet Natalia Montalvo, Your Hourly Vegas Date!: The Rihanna picture we've all been waiting for. Chris Brown, you are a monster.

el smrtmnky on Airbrush Tool Tipped To Win Based On 'Dancing With The Stars' Promo Shots: It's like they were dressed in scarves previously worn by lamps at a gyspy brothel.

kookla on Airbrush Tool Tipped To Win Based On 'Dancing With The Stars' Promo Shots: Just based on the first three pictures of Steve O, Lil Kim and Denise Richards, I see that Adobe Photoshop has added an STD filter to the effects pallette.

couchtamale on Zack Snyder Promises Giant, 'Hardcore' Blue Wang In Uncut 'Watchmen': I met him once off of Craig's List. He lied about the color.

Congratulations to our winners!

Syrax on 'Osbournes Reloaded' Gets Around WGA by Hiring Staff of Shit-Flinging Monkeys: I'll wait for Osbournes Revolutions, where the lead stars die in the end.

SunnydaZe10 on 'Lindsay Lohan is Our Dream Star!' Says 'Elm Street' Producer About to be Cussed Out by Michael Bay: Even though I think she will be perfect in the part, I thought Freddy Krueger was always played by Robert Englund??

NoWireHangers on Experience The Phyllis J. McGuire Mystique: Move over Brenda Dickson! Phyllis J. McGuire has Charo's face, Barbra's nails, Beyonce's bling, Kathy Lee's hair circa 1985, and the Easter Bunny's hide.

I can't tell if this photo was taken with a soft focus lens, or it her sweater and hair are radiating fur and aquanet, receptively.

Flawless.

Old No.7 on A Tale Of Two Grammys: Radiohead Bludgeons The Jonas Brothers: I bet Stevie wished he was deaf last night, as well.

busterbluth on Sharon Stone Slaps 'Slumdog' Star In Red-Carpet Mating Ritual: London is a great place to eat Indian.

Congratulations to our winners!

everfade on Your First Look at Mariah Carey's Actually Respectable Performance In 'Push'!: This role must've been very draining on Mariah. Having to wear all those clothes.

NigelAstydameia on Kevin Smith Sells Out The Weinsteins In Latest 'Zack and Miri' Lament: If I want to watch fat people cry, I'll watch "The Biggest Loser."

Mr.Fluffy on Are These The French Funbags That Will Win Mickey An Oscar?: The blonde appears to be a member of SAG.

kookla on 'Can You Share Any Turkey-Basting Stories From Your Own Life?': Working Title: The Baster is Not That Into You Either

Magister on Defamer Rates The Super Bowl Porn That Accidentally Aired In Arizona: That was a thigh-slapper.

Congratulations (and an "OHHHHH GOOOOD!") to our winners!

· procrastinator, esq. on Bart Simpson Pushes Scientology: 'Don't Have A Thetan-Ridden Cow, Man!': I prefer it when Julie Kavner uses her nagging Marge Simpson voice to leave me voicemail messages reminding me to go to temple on the High Holidays.

· SumitaSurtur on 'The Office' Porn Features Almost As Many Couplings As The Actual 'Office': Why in god's name is this not called The Orifice?

· Old No.7 on Sherri Shepherd Teaches Daytime Audience How To Position Oneself In A Sling: This same technique is also utilized by marine biologists to return beached whales back to the sea.

· kookla on Bill O'Reilly Challenges Jessica Alba's Knowledge of European Peace-Keeping: If anyone has been in an IKEA lately, you would totally understand what Alba means when she says Sweden is neutral.

· Eric D. Snider on Paris Hilton Certain That Reality TV Chef Is British Prime Minister: She better be careful in England. As an inbred, lazy-eyed, undeservedly wealthy attention whore, she's liable to be mistaken for royalty.

Congratulations to our winners!

HandsomeBwonderful on Courtenay Semel And Casey Johnson Find Non-Flammable Peace At Sundance: Boy, their kids will be hideo— oh, yeah. There is a god.

el smrtmnky on Jessica Alba's O'Reilly-Bashing Inspires Unfamiliar New Feelings Of Respect: brava, alba! that was your best performance since...whew. that a girl!

thesuspiciouspackage on Benjamin Bratt Needs Hug After Devastating 'Push': It's wonderful to see Mo'Nique following up on the promise she demonstrated in BEERFEST.

Victor Ward on John Krasinski Is A Hideous Man: "If Wallace's prose here taught us anything, it's that no one can stay mad at an amputee." Paul McCartney would like to politely disagree.

SunnydaZe10 on WB To Outsource 800 Jobs To Poland's Notoriously Unsympathetic I.T. Industry:

Dear Colleagues:

We'd like to take a moment and provide some follow-up information to the memo you received earlier this month regarding the fact we have gone BUST. We are very sad to announce that based on the global economic situation and current business forecasts, the SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN.

We hear "The Cheesecake Factory" is currently accepting applications.

Best of luck.

Sincerely,

"The Guy Who Owns Five Cherry Red Diablo Roadsters With Fuchsia Pink Interior"

· thesuspiciouspackage on Kate Winslet Waxes, Sean Penn Wanes and Other Curious Golden Globes Implications: "Just a word of thanks for your continued open loathing of Revolutionary Road, which was in and of itself a badly-administered home abortion."

· stchoo on 'Access Hollywood' Eager To Perv All Over Teenage 'Twilight' Star: "Poor guy is gonna end up with what Meatloaf got in Fight Club."

· OldTowneTavern on Jeremy Piven Fishes For Redemption With Diane Sawyer: "I have a wonky B.S. detector because I was sitting there thinking, 'Poor man. He was living his dream and now this.'"

· NoWireHangers on Tyler Perry Still Having Trouble Settling On Mrs. Right: "Maybe the next time he's wig shopping he can try flirting with the salesgirl. Love can bloom when and where you least expect it."

· scroll_lock on One Of Oprah's Favorite Things: Crack?: "The only drug she's been ingesting is a gross of Ben & Jerry's with a Hostess chaser."

A word of caution about your prize: Don't bend Glenn's limbs all the way back—they do eventually snap off. Congratulations to our winners!

People say, 'How can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil?' You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you.

—Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

It's just so magically strange. The image of walking into a shut-in's house and whispering gravely "I love you," then turning around and leaving. Perfect! And, now that the long national nightmare is basically at an end, I think we can laugh a little less bitterly about his wacky turns of phrase. (Well, sort of.) What's your favorite?

Our winners:

· DarkKnightShyamalan on A Tasting Guide to the GOP's Hot New Pop-Culture Site, 'Big Hollywood': Good god, there's a Congressman named Thaddeus G. McCotter? I thought that was just a character played by a giant-mustached Clooney in a lesser Coen Brothers flick.

· Tiger_Tanaka on Critics Gone Wild: The Top 10 of Top 10 Lists of 2008, Part I: "Visceral and vital, this über-blockbuster is both cultural touchstone and preeminent example of the superhero spectacular's expansive potential."

Your writing is also an example of why somebody should punch you in the fucking face.

· NoWireHangers on The Critics Are Crazy About 'Bride Wars'!: "Will make you hate brides." - Victoria Alexander, FilmsInReview.com

Will?

· Eric D. Snider on Sherri Shepherd Awoken At 1:30 AM By An Insistent Jeremy Piven: I'm pretty sure that to Flat-Earthers, time zones are just another myth created by the powerful Round-Earth lobby.

· topsy on Dakota Fanning is the New Black: Every once in a while the [NAACP] Image Award nominates a white performer. Sort of along the lines of how the Academy Awards work.

Congratulations to our runners-up (and COTW winners-to-be), of which there were many. Including all you sick bastards. Enjoy your new government watch lists!

· HwoodHills on Did George Clooney Spend Two Nights In Paris?: George: "Did you see BURN AFTER READING?"

Paris: "No. It has reading in it."

· kookla on Griffin Vs. Clark: Dicks A-Plenty On New Year's Eve: I was sure if there were balls dropped in Times Square it was going to be one of the Jonas Brothers.

· metroville on 'Doubt' Reminded Harry Knowles of the Time He Was Whipped Until He Bled Over A False Incest Charge: I'm more taken aback by the revelation that Harry Knowles appears to have been born during the 19th century.

· Old No.7 on Zac Efron: The Fruity Keepsake Ornament: Take note that the Vanessa Hudgens ornament package has been previously opened many, many times.

· el smrtmnky on Was Balthazar Getty Fired From 'Brothers & Sisters'?: Oh, Battlestar Getty! Didn't you get the memo? Bros before Hos.

Congratulations to our new corporate overlords! Please be gentle.

It seems like a mostly legitimate question to ask, doesn't it? Whether or not they're having sexy sexy old rich scion sex, the special friendship between Sulzberger and Kennedy is well-documented. And when the publisher of your paper is BFF with a public figure, asking whether that friendship affects coverage of that public figure is certainly fair game.

But no, no comments allowed asking about the affair. When this guy tried, the City Room editors asked him to please not bring it up again. "we don't report stuff like this, regardless of the people involved." Stuff like... what? The Times certainly does report on the sexual lives of public figures, all the damn time, from Giuliani to Spitzer to Paterson. But reporting on the Sulzbergers not so much.

Anyway now obv you should all head over to the City Room blog and spam them with thousands of comments about this terrible coverup. (Don't actually do that, it would be really annoying.)

· badhatharry on Jeremy Piven Willing to Contract Any Disease That Will Get Him Off Broadway: This guy sounds like he diagnosed himself from WebMD. I tried that once, turns out I have cervical cancer.

I'm a guy.

· HallieMarie on More Non-Cera Stars Continue to Align for the 'Arrested Development' Movie: Put Alia Shawkat down as a Maeby.

· emg72 on Drew Carey Spent 30 Minutes Crafting Bored Reaction to Historic 'Price is Right' Win: 1982: I'm 10 years old, home sick (or playing sick, can't remember) from school, watching The Price Is Right.

Some guy (wearing a mock turtleneck, if I recall) not only wins a car, but then spins *double* 100's on the big wheel, and then gets within 100 bucks of his own showcase showdown to take home both sets of prizes.

I nearly crapped myself, and then called my father at work, pulling him out of a meeting with a client to tell him the huge news. He was not amused. I didn't care. This was tremendous. The world needed to know.
26 years later, this guy goes and hits it dead on the money.

The *least* Drew could have done was crap himself. For me. For posterity.

· JudgeFudge on Farewell, Delgo: From 2,100 Screens to Zero in a Week Flat: A Prediction for Freestyle Media: Del-go straight to dvd next time.

· alexarch on Sensuous Franco 'Milk' Bathing Scene A Homage À Hockney: Defamer: The inattentive, single, barfly mother that leaves out her Playgirls to be found by her confused and nervous proto-gay son.

Congratulations to our winners! Runners-up, you get four pixels each of Scott Caan's balls.

· shostakobitch on Carrie Fisher Comes Full Circle: She just finished a first draft of "Postcards From the Fridge."

· HwoodHills on Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens in 'Sex Shop Musical': Based on the looks on their faces and the fact they actually POSED for them, you forgot to identify the most important things in each pic: 1. Baked (with an arrow toward each)

· Tiger_Tanaka on Relax In Front Of A Flaming Cuthbert Yule Arm This Holiday Season: This is how you normally wash up after sleeping with a pro hockey player.

· TenTimesFiltered on Golden Globes Jilt 'Milk,' 'Dark Knight'; 'In Treatment' Leads TV Noms: When can we start calling nominations "nom noms"? Someone must can has them.

· Little Mintz Sunshine on Jennifer Aniston Promotes New, PG-Rated Family Film By Going Completely NSFW: Jeez. Her kids are going to be so embarrassed. Wait..what?

Congratulations to our winners!

· A Pimp Named DaveR on Lindsay Lohan Still Stymied By Rocky Myspace/Facebook Transition: Someday all of us, male and female, will be able to log in and see "You have poked Lindsay Lohan"....

· icallthebigonebitey on Peeved Elisabeth Hasselbeck Tells Noted Indian Scholar to 'Go Light a Bowl of Incense': Elisabitch is confused as usual. "Glitter Glasses Whatshisface" is Elton John. "GURU Glasses Whathisface" is Deepak Chopra.

· it takes a lot to laugh on Roman Polanski Kindly Asks For Official Removal of 'Statutory Rapist' From Resume: "I did not have sexual relations with that statue."

· Tiger_Tanaka on Arriving Astride Winged Serpent, Satan Himself Announces Rinna/Hamlin Reality Show: He made ANOTHER deal with them?

· Miss d on Lapdance Inferno! (Blaze Put Out at Body Shop Strip Club): Lucky - or they'd have to change the sign to DEAD NUDE GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS...

Congratulations to our winners!