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Starbucks Goes Communist
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Astroblack
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
When I worked at Starbucks, few things irked me worse than the jerkoffs who tried to order complicated drinks and act fussy about them like they had such discriminating taste. Most of that shit is just milk and syrup with a little coffee thrown in! If you were a real connoisseur you would just order espresso shots and shut the fuck up.
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raincoaster
08/22/09

@Astroblack: Another alumnus here and yeah, looks like they increased the prices on all the drinks we used to laugh at.
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johnny_carsick
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
you mean the sorts of mediocre comedians who, say, launch their careers via the wholesale pilfering of an incalculably superior comedian's schtick, nearly verbatim? who then later - realizing they have nothing remotely original or funny to say - give up on comedy altogether to become equally mediocre television actors?

nope. no idea what you're referring to. sorry.
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badasscat
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
Bah, the "poors" (ie. those of us with tastes refined enough to actually enjoy the taste of coffee) have been subsidizing these idiots whose drinks require four employees and fifteen minutes to make for years now. This just puts things a little closer to back the way they should be.
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daveyjonesisdead
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
They've totally blown their own raison d'etre by featuring a coffee that tastes like dishwater and devaluing their good coffee by now referring to it with the generic 'Bold.' When the Great Recession is over and we're all back on the overconsumption track, they will go out of business.

There's just no reason to go there, except to buy beans to take back to the office and make your own coffee, at substantial savings.
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Smitros
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
Cross-subsidies aren't supposed to happen but always do.

Starbucks--it's just like utilities.
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Flashman
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
Yesterday I was given my $2.05 coffee for free at a Starbucks here in downtown Ottawa.
I went to pay and saw that I was about a buck short. I offered to pay with Interac but the barristas just said ah, don't worry about it.
I would give the exact location but I don't want to get them in trouble, but thanks!
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raincoaster
08/22/09

@Flashman: That's not going to get them in trouble. They're SUPPOSED to do that once in awhile. Look at the goodwill it generated (and the exposure, here on Gawker).
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Cheap Shot
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
[www.youtube.com]
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Edited by Cheap Shot at 08/21/09 12:38 PM Cheap Shot was starred Cheap Shot was unstarred

ragepotato
08/21/09

@Cheap Shot: That was fantastic. I wasn't aware there were still people that salty in this country.
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iplaudius
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
If only they would make the coffee self-serve and let one drop exact change for it on the counter without waiting in line behind the suckers ordering espresso drinks. Or, have a separate line for "plain coffee": an express line for non-espresso, as it were.
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SidAndFinancy
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
Just wait until they roll out the Deathspresso Panels.
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Voyou_Charmant
08/21/09

@SidAndFinancy: That sounds delicious/despicable!
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SugitaAlcimede
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
i don't know about this. According to a friend who put herself through grad school working for Howie Schultz, the people who order frapps and those caramel macchiato BS drinks tend toward "white trash." so it might be a play to keep some of the poors at bay after all.
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The Curse of Millhaven promoted this comment SugitaAlcimede was starred SugitaAlcimede was unstarred

The Curse of Millhaven
08/21/09

Workers of the world must unite and follow the example of the French Revolution. Own the means of production by buying a French press.
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___
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
On my walk to work each morning I'm always amused by the suckers waiting on long lines to pay big bucks for Starbuck's drinks which all taste like dishwater to me.

And did I mention the mouse infested storage areas?
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Mo MoDo
08/21/09

@Big Poppa: And the coffee tastes burnt.

Did I stumble into Consumerist by mistake?
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Lymed
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
But what about tea?
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Unsolicited Advice
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
I've started using "communist" as an invective for everything. This is because the late-1980's film Beetlejuice has informed my perspective on the afterlife, and I believe that we can summon the fallen to the corporeal by repeatedly invoking them. Screw up my latte order? Die in a fire, commie. Commie. COMMIE!

If my thesis holds, Marx/Engels will tire of rolling uselessly in their graves. They'll burst from the ground with an unholy army of risen proletariat at their side and wrap their icy, moon-pale fingers around the throats of all my fellow Americans that abuse the term on a daily basis. Then they will possess the living that remain for a rousing rendition of "The Internationale."
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Swifter
08/21/09

@Unsolicited Advice: They will be easily stopped by the Stay-Puft Marshmallow guy.
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PetrolMan
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
"And don't even get me started on those sizes. What is so wrong with medium and large? Why should I have to say grande or veinte? I mean I thought this was America..."
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Heneage
08/21/09

@PetrolMan: A primer on the origin of Starbucks cup sizes:

There are actually four sizes: the little-known "short" (8 oz), tall (12 oz), grande - because it's bigger than the tall (16 oz), and vente - not viente - clocks in at 20 oz. It's called vente because that's Italian for 20.

Yes, you could just call it S - XL but if I'm going to pay $5 for a cup of coffee I want a little mystique to go with it. It makes me feel special when I'm driving my Volvo to Whole Foods, and then to Yoga.
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Unsolicited Advice
08/21/09

@Heneage:

Can we throw in a nice, suburban townhouse in a wooded subdivision? That Volvo/Whole Foods/Yoga trifecta sounds pretty nice to me, all things considered.
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Flashman
08/21/09

@PetrolMan: Totally - fuck that bullshit. I just say 'medium'.
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Smitros
08/21/09

@PetrolMan:
Somebody needs to advertise "coffee in your language."
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daveyjonesisdead
08/21/09

@Heneage: What movie was that in, where the guy kept bitching about 'Vente' and his girlfriend gave him the same lecture above?
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Heneage
08/21/09

@Unsolicited Advice: As long as it has bamboo floors and organic cotton sheets on the beds, I'm in.

Caldecott Lane has a nice ring to it, no?
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Heneage
08/21/09

@Heneage: Actually, Caldecott Lane Surname could have been a ringer in Gawker's Pretentious Baby Names competition a few years back. How long before we see Caldecott and his sister Newbery scurrying around in Park Slope?
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Edited by Heneage at 08/21/09 1:43 PM Heneage was starred Heneage was unstarred

Swifter
08/21/09

In reply to Starbucks Goes Communist
I'll have a nice, cheap, Republican drip please. There are so many to choose from!
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