Ad Age breaks down the impending crisis: McDonald's has 32,158 "restaurants," as they call them. Subway has nearly 32,000, and it's gaining fast.

The average U.S. McDonald's had about $2.3 million in sales last year; the average Subway made about $445,000, according to Technomic.

Yea Subway, call us when you have like 165,000 stores. Then we'll talk. And 'Starbucks?' McD's pisses on you too. You cannot defeat the American Middlebrow.
[Pic via]

The main criticism of the Sporting News' strategy is that its newsletter will come out in the morning, while rabid sports fans will probably have gotten their fill of the news the previous night. It's certainly possible that the entire comeback will be a colossal failure. But getting one of the sports world's most high-profile bloggers on staff (once again—Leitch worked there ten years ago) was a pretty savvy move for the old folks. People will be forced to link to them now!

Publisher Ed Baker's defense of the morning newsletter:

"What if a player gets arrested or traded? Things happen overnight," he said in response to Mr. Padwe's comment. "And if the Mets are on the West Coast playing the Dodgers, how many people stay up till 1 to find out the score?"

Here's hoping for plenty of arrests!

[NYT]

Second runner up: "I wonder if my calls for change will go through," by commenter blogylonian (assist by Dorothy Mantooth). Good and Obama-like. This one could actually be in a real, respectable ad.

First runner up: "Inexperience isn't just for Virgins," by Clarence Rosario. This one had the good sex angle, the company's name, and the rap on Obama, all in five words.

And the winner: "No more dropped 3 a.m. calls," by Michael Jahn. This one, admittedly, did not have the sexy sex twist, but it's timely, kind of funny, and also steals part of a competitor's slogan as an added bonus. Congratulations! Your prize from us is, of course, nothing, but here's the email to Virgin Mobile—we'll let you know what we hear.

Hello— we heard about your new ad featuring scandalized NY governor Eliot Spitzer, and asked our readers to come up with good slogans for your upcoming ad featuring Barack Obama. Needless to say we received dozens of witty suggestions from our clever readers, but we have selected a winner, which is:

"No more dropped 3 a.m. calls," by commenter Michael Jahn.

We know it doesn't quite have the sexy angle that your Spitzer and Hillary Clinton ads had, but it's nice and pithy and timely, too (let us know if you don't get the America-centric reference).

We can't speak for the commenter who submitted it, but we're fairly sure he'd be happy to fly to Canada for an appearance, or just to receive any large royalty check you might want to bestow upon him. We can put you in touch. If you were to pay us a large finder's fee as well, we'd probably give it to charity. To summarize: Barack Obama, a slogan, and a chance for you to have a new ad with an Obama slogan, courtesy of us. Let us know when the ad runs!

Thanks,

Hamilton Nolan
Gawker.com