Hey, L.A.: Sign Conan's Welcome Card!

Tonight is Conan O'Brien's last Late Night. Yes, it's a bittersweet changing of the guard—but he's all ours now! Make him feel at home by signing this Defamer Welcomes Conan to L.A. card.

Conan On Leno: 'Temperatures Rising Rapidly In My Personal Hell'

All eyes were on Conan last night in anticipation of what, if anything, he'd say about NBC's surprise announcement that Jay Leno would upstage his long-planned ascension to The Tonight Show throne.

Can Someone Please Tell Us What The Hell Keri Russell Is Talking About On 'Conan?'

To fully appreciate this, we'll ask you now to stop whatever it is you're doing—don't worry, we'll be here when you get back—lay your head down on your keyboard, and drift off to sleep. (Feel free to take whatever prescription sleed-aids you might require to make this happen. Just no fistfuls washed down with a liter of vodka! The weekend is still three days away.) Then, have a co-worker or cohabitant click play on the video above.

Dear SAG: Strike Away! Love, NBC

So SAG's fucked. Wait—did we say "fucked?" There we go again—needless doomsday prophesying where Obaman cool-headedness is clearly required. What we meant to say is: "SAG's probably fucked." Yesterday brought a confluence of Pop Culture Doomsday events that not even a walrus blowing like Bird could have foretold:

David Letterman Thinks NBC's Late Night Plans Are Just Plain Goofy

Sitting down with Rolling Stone for a rare interview, David Letterman opened up on his two-step process of alienating and courting some of his most famous guest-emies—towering pop culture figures like Madonna, Oprah, and Richard Simmons—as well as his own plans for retirement. ("I would like to go beyond [my contracted] 2010, not much beyond," he told them.) He was also asked to weigh in on the curious scheduling shift going on at his old network NBC, where top ratings-getter Jay Leno is being forcibly vacated to make room for new The Tonight Show host Conan O'Brien, and his Late Night successor, Jimmy Fallon. No one is more confused about the changes than Letterman: More »

Touring the Exotic Public Restrooms of China, With Your Host Conan O'Brien

Viewers who tuned in Wednesday to Late Night With Conan O'Brien were treated to very special vacation slideshow by Mummy 3 star Maria Bello, who, during a recent visit to China, skipped the Great Wall and the Forbidden City in exchange for the more fantastic tour of Misconceived Bathroom Placards. It's not just the mangled English ("handicapped" = "deformed") and malaprops that make the show-and-tell special, however. Just take a moment to enjoy O'Brien's play-by-play, abetted by headlining guest Kevin Costner's awkward sidekick chuckle. If it's not enough to make you forget Andy Richter, it's at least enough to make you forget this man once won an Academy Award. In any case, we genuinely wouldn't mind if they revived this segment every week. [NBC]

Jay Leno Bravely Leaves Hairpiece At Home To Confront His NBC Executioners

At NBC's TCA press conference yesterday, network co-chairs Ben Silverman and Marc Graboff confirmed their plans to eject Jay Leno from The Tonight Show via jerry-rigged catapult device on May 29, 2009. That gives them only three rushed days to erect a new set and change the dressing room door names from "Kevin Eubanks" to "Masturbating Bear" for the premiere of replacement host, Conan O'Brien. There to press the executives on the questionably motivated decision to fire the highest-rated name in late night (Graboff insisted they'd like to keep Leno at NBC Universal, but give us a break): Leno himself, disguised in a bald wig, goatee, and glasses: More »

We now have a better idea of how long Jimmy Fallon will be made to spin in an NBC.com hamster wheel before his big network debut: The Leno/O'Brien passing of the not-entirely-thought-out-torch will occur at the end of May 2009: "Jay Leno will sign off as host of The Tonight Show on May 29, 2009, with Conan O'Brien taking over the storied franchise on Monday, June 1, 2009." Asked for comment on this Jeff Zucker-hunch gone awry (that comes with a reported $40 million penalty fee to O'Brien should they pull out), NBC co-chair Marc Graboff told the TCA, "We made our decision and I'm happy with it. NBC will continue to dominate late-night." [TV Week]

'Late Night' Heir Jimmy Fallon To Have Funny Beaten Into Him Via Online Talk Show

Maybe it came out of concerns over his tepidly reviewed performance at Just For Laughs, where the straight-faced-challenged former SNL star delivered on the audience's darkest fears with groaner ditties like "You Spit When You Talk" and "Car Wash For Peace." In any case, the strange talent-shuffle scheduled at NBC late night —ratings-leader Jay Leno ejected from his Tonight Show job, Conan O'Brien shuffled in to take his place, and Jimmy Fallon ushered into the post vacated by O'Brien—has become just that much stranger. Dark Canadian comedy overlord Lorne Michaels announced Fallon would cut his teeth with a web-based mini-show leading up to his big gig: More »

Jimmy Fallon Drops By 'Conan' To Remind You Why You'll Never Tune In To NBC At 12:30 A.M. Again

Jimmy Fallon popped by Late Night to address yesterday's news that he would be taking over for host Conan O'Brien in 2009, an announcement greeted with wide-eyed, Christmas Eve wonder by the three TV executives who hired him, and, "Wait—that annoying dude from those DJ sketches on Saturday Night Live?" from everyone else. More »

Once Upon A Time, There Were Three Little 'Charlie's Angels' Who Hated Each Other's Guts, Recalls Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien was the lead guest on The Tonight Show last night, and he graciously left behind his tape measure and fabric swatches, while Jay Leno kept his passive aggressive put-downs of his scheduled usurper to a comfortable minimum. Among his entertaining anecdotes, Conan recalled the time he hosted the Emmys of two years ago—before Fox got their cracked-out claws into them, and transformed the ceremony into a one-ringed-circus presided over by Master of Women's-Footwear-Identifying-Ceremonies Ryan Seacrest. Describing the tense scene from the wings, Conan recalled an increasingly desperate stage manager giving a live play-by-play of the Charlie's Angels diva-feud that could very well have altered the course of Aaron Spelling Production cast reunion history forever. More »

Leno Made To Feel Like Prettiest Ousted Late Night Host In The Room By 'Tonight Show' Competitors

Seemingly unstoppable late night force Jay Leno has already demonstrated that he needs no writers to conquer his time slot: Audiences looking for non-addictive insomnia cures and lovemaking soundtracks clearly prefer Leno's middling presence and chirpy joke-delivery over his more cantankerous competitors. For whatever reason, however, the management at NBC decided four years ago that Leno required an expiration date, unfeelingly stamping the host on the forehead with a "BEST BEFORE 2009" notice, and designating Conan O'Brien as his successor. Now, a full two years before his contract expires, rival networks and studios are unfurling their green, high-currency plumage, and doing the late-night mating dance for the still viable talk show host. The NY Times reports: More »

What Was With That Weird Tae Kwon Do Dude On 'Conan' Last Night?

Because we here at Defamer are always willing to do our part to dispel myths, hoaxes, and pretty obviously arranged comedy bits on late night TV, we now reach deep into the "Yo Defamer — WTF???" submission box hanging outside HQ, and fish out an index card dropped by one of our confounded readers: More »

Fashion Guru Tim Gunn Skirts Dangerously Close To Word 'Mannish' In Describing Sen. Clinton

Ah, no one says it like Tim Gunn, revered style swami and champion of dandy diplomacy, who can tell you everything you need to know about the dumpy hunchbackwear you've got on with nothing more than a fist pressed to his lips and a deep furrowing of his Sharpei-like brow. If anyone can get away with skewering the sartorial challenges facing our past and present leaders, it is he. Appearing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Gun was utterly unwowed by what was going on below President Bush's ankles: Taken separately, a pair of black Crocs and Air Force One socks might work, but there was virtually no excuse for wearing the two together (short of perhaps currying favor with the German Chancellor at the next G7 Summit). More »

Vicious Cross-Network Melee Leaves Stewart, O'Brien and Colbert In Critical Condition

For those of you requiring context for the disturbingly violent cross-network brawl between Conan O'Brien, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart you're about to witness, a feud recently erupted between O'Brien and Colbert over their dueling claims of having made Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee candidacy viable (ignoring, of course, The Chuck Norris factor). More »

'Late Night' Presents: 'Conanfield'

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Strike Turns Jay Leno And Jimmy Kimmel Into Unlikely Couchfellows

The WGA's displeasure with The Tonight Show host Jay Leno's self-penned monologues only continues to grow—while Conan O'Brien seems to get a pass, exempt under the "Actually Funny" clause—to the point where NBC has felt the need to issue a statement on the matter. Meanwhile, with SAG boycotting decrees making it increasing difficult to get even B-list asses on non-Worldwide Pants couches, the comedian has found an unlikely ally in another late night rival: More »

Lohan Appreciated

· Finally, someone out there appreciates a certain actress's important contributions to cinema. (Though it should be noted that last year's recipient of that Capri Hollywood International Film Festival award was Hayley Duff.) More »

Leno, Conan Win First Round Of Late-Night Ratings Fight Without Writers

· Overcoming the apparently mild inconvenience of putting on shows without their striking writers, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien still triumphed over fully staffed talk-show rivals David Letterman and Craig Ferguson in Wednesday night's Nielsen battle. In fairness to the WGA-approved programs, however, it should be noted that many viewers might have chosen to tune in to Leno out of irresistible curiosity about how unfunny the host would be on his own. [THR] More »

Conan's Unshaven Face Establishes The Strike Beard As Late Night's Leading Solidarity-Indicating Facial Hair Choice

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Bodybuilder Sues 'Conan' For Gifting Him To Clay Aiken For Christmas

Conan O'Brien's parent company NBC Universal has just been sued over a Clay Aiken gay joke. (Is specifying "gay" joke a waste of typing?) The catch: the suit hasn't been filed by Mr. Aiken. This one comes straight from bodybuilder Dennis "The Menace" James, the Idol also-ran's punchline lust-object: More »

The Return Of Late-Night?

· They aren't done administering the defibrillator to the dead-eyed corpse of late-night TV just yet: Some are buzzing that "several hosts" plan on returning to the air by January 7, making life a little less egg-pelty for Ellen DeGeneres and Carson Daly. [Variety] More »

Leno To Supplement Strike Gifts Of Early Holiday Bonuses And Delicious Donuts With Continuing Paychecks

Perhaps wounded that some disgruntled, newly laid-off Tonight Show staffers anonymously griped that their early-bonus-proferring boss had failed to equal the generosity of peers like eventual successor Conan O'Brien, who'd previously pledged to financially support every last self-abusing bear and incontinent, bolt-excreting robot on his payroll during the writers strike, host Jay Leno has decided to join the compassionate ranks of late night TV saviors by covering his employees' salaries on a week-to-week basis. Christmas is saved! More »

Though they did last a little longer than the mid-November date initially threatened by NBC, about 120 staffers at The Tonight Show were laid off today. On the bright side, the freshly pinkslipped employees were handed early Christmas bonus checks courtesy of Jay Leno; still, at least one disappointed now-former employee found themselves wishing they worked for Conan Claus instead: "We haven't heard from him since the second or third day of the strike. He called on speakerphone while we were in our daily meeting and said, 'Don't look for other jobs, no one's going to lose their house, we'll get though this.' Two weeks ago, we got the heads up that we had two more weeks (of pay) and that's it. Everyone wondered, 'Is Jay going to come through?' And nothing happened. Conan makes less and he said, 'I'm going to pay for my people.' " [Scribe Vibe/Photo: Franklin Ave]

Conan O'Brien To Help Masturbating Bear Survive The Writers Strike

· Sports-specialist writer/director Ron "Bull Durham/Tin Cup/Cobb" Shelton will helm a movie about steroid-enhanced home run king Barry Bonds based on the book Game of Shadows for HBO Films, a cinematic journey through Bond's clear-and-cream-lubricated pursuit of Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron that Shelton and his writing partner plan to undertake after the conclusion of the writers strike. [Variety] More »

Conan O'Brien Enjoys A Friendly Cocktail WIth His Stalker-Priest

The Celebslam blog has photos of a cocktail party meeting between Conan O'Brien and his "stalker priest" taking place last year, in which the Conan-obsessed cleric bent space and time to share a martini with the object of his schizophrenia-enhanced affection. Given that the two men once enjoyed an apparently congenial face-to-face meeting, the Padre's later correspondence about his failure to receive VIP treatment from a Late Night usher when he sought to reconnect with his new best friend seems somewhat less unreasonable—though, in fairness, we must admit that the angle of the photo prevents us from determining if O'Brien's eyes reveal any discomfort about being pitched an idea that the Masturbating Bear character would be much funnier if he wore a priest's collar. More »

Conan O'Brien Mistaken For Oversized Altar Boy, Stalked By Boston Priest

Completing a rite of passage that all late-night talk show hosts must eventually endure as their careers progress—something about the combination of a darkened room, the midnight hour, and a flickering TV screen seem to create unhealthy comedian/schizophrenic attachments—Conan O'Brien has earned the stalky affections of a Catholic priest from Boston, who was arrested in NY last Friday after sending unhinged letters on parish letterhead, threatening O'Brien's parents, and trying to crash a taping of his favorite show: More »

NBC's Zucker Reminds Jay Leno He's Out Of A Job in 2009

Perhaps hoping to avert an ugly incident in which obsolescent Tonight Show host Jay Leno makes a last-ditch effort to save his job by chaining himself to his desk while wrecking balls emblazoned with a cheerful peacock logo demolish his beloved Burbank studio, NBC Universal boss Jeff Zucker reasserted yesterday that the show will be handed over to Conan O'Brien as planned, recent intimations that Leno isn't quite ready for early retirement notwithstanding: More »

James Lipton Takes Us Inside The Pimp's Studio

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Conan In Danger!

· Tonight on Conan: the host is annoyed by the unwelcome interruption of a fire alarm until a producer informs him the piercing siren was sounded to alert the Late Night staff to a Leno-led assassination attempt. More »

NBC In Transition With Flashy New Studios, Stubborn Old Talk Show Hosts

Curbed LA directs us to the official web presence introducing NBC Universal's planned Metro Studio@Lankershim in Universal City, the facility to which the company hopes to relocate its local network news operations, its West Coast news headquarters, and, perhaps most excitingly, Access Hollywood—as you can see from the handsome rendering of the space, the studio's windows will provide an exhilarating, Today Show-style view of NBC employees waving "WE LOVE YOU BILLY BUSH!" signs as the wildly popular host recaps Eva Longoria's latest trip to Robertson Blvd. More »

Slippery When Triumph Pisses On Your Leg

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Conan O'Brien Vs. The Bear Porn

[Note: The above video may be NSFW depending on your employer's policy regarding adult videos fetishizing fat men eating produce.] During a recent appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien to promote I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry, Conan surprised Adam Sandler by replacing the clip he had set up with a scene from Feed The Bears, a specialty adult film catering to the "encourager" scene: i.e., men who get off on the fattening-up of other plus-sized men. (The lusty, apple-devouring sequence in question is above.) More »

George Lucas Only Thinks It's Funny When He Thinks Up Ridiculous New 'Star Wars' Characters

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'Studio 60' Parodies Outliving Their Real-Life, Ill-Fated Inspiration

While arriving a little late to the Studio 60 parody party, Conan O'Brien's Studio 6A effort of last Friday night makes up for its lack of timeliness (especially considering the possibility we may never see another new 60 episode outside of a complete first-season DVD release) with its savvy utilization of network-quality production values—we wouldn't be surprised if the Late Night staff tricked NBC into sinking $4 million into the clip by attaching Sorkin's name—and top-tier talent, which has temporarily reinvigorated the moribund form. Spending this brief time with a generously pompadoured, appropriately self-serious Liev Schreiber and a suddenly tragic Mastubating Bear made us unexpectedly choke up, reminding us that we may never again get to spend another intentionally unfunny primetime minute with Matthew Perry and Lobster Boy. More »

Jimmy Fallon Might Find Steady Work Two Years From Now

We are still two years away from seeing NBC's 11:30 pm-12:30 am slot emerge out from its current holding pattern in a Comedy Ice Age, a long overdue thaw in which Jay Leno's insufferable "stupid man on the street" interviews will finally be replaced by Conan O'Brien's sublime, Horny Manatee sensibilities. But who or what will fill O'Brien's hour remains very much up in the air: With manorexic Carson Daly hardly setting the late-night landscape on fire, NBC has begun to look elsewhere for a possible replacement, including former SNLer Jimmy Fallon. Reports the NY Times: More »

Christian Group Predictably Outraged Over Conan's 'Pervy Jesus' Homophobic-Cowboy Ditty

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Short Ends: Conan Mashes

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Trade Round-Up: Conan And Andy Reunite

Fox captured the online market for Adderal-abusing teens with its MySpace purchase, leading NBC Universal to pay $600 million to try and enslave the internet's female population by snapping up iVillage. [Variety] More »

Conan O'Brien Crowned King Of Finland

The bizarre turn of late night talk show events that saw Conan O'Brien campaigning for Finnish President Tarja Halonen's re-election has arrived at its thrilling conclusion: a visit from Finland's newest hero, where O'Brien was greeted at the airport by a cheering crowd of over 2000 Conan-hungry fans: More »