So, this is awkward, but, as it turns out, North Dakota may not actually even be a state at all, thanks to a constitutional conflict only recently discovered by an 82-year-old resident of Grand Forks. How embarrassing!

It's a well-known fact that someday, all of New York will be reduced to a smoldering, hellish wasteland, a post-apocalyptic desert so bad it will make The Road look like Sex and the City, a badland consisting of the ashes of a once-mighty city felled by war, disease, terror, or Zu'ul. Luckily, we've got an official…