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How Survivor Will Save the Conde Nasties
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superfuture
07/26/09

In reply to How Survivor Will Save the Conde Nasties
I love the "Do Your Job and Don't Stick Out" advice. That just doesn't work at Conde. So many people that have jobs there don't actually work. They just show up to meetings, talk nonsense and take home a big check. The main function of these jokes is to have others reporting to them that do do work. And those suckers will be the first to go. In six months McKinsey will be more confused than the day they walked in.
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DeltaGuy
07/26/09

In reply to How Survivor Will Save the Conde Nasties
And above all else, if you happen to work for Details, just steal as much as you can. Your time is numbered.
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Cheap Shot
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
True story: A long time ago, when Cheap Shot was a wee lad, his company got absorbed by a big old bad media company. They interviewed everyone for their jobs and pretty much everyone except 3 people got canned.

The person above me was supposed to be taken to the new company but was such a bitch that they went with me.

Moral of the story, don't be a bitch on your interview for your own job!
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Awesome X
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
Suck up, backstab, sex management, despair ... so basically do what you do now, only harder, so to speak.
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misslinda
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
Where some see only dispair, I see opportunity. If I was a single male attorney at Skadden, I'd camp out in the lobby and wait for the sea of sad little Conde Nast girls who got the chop and offer to carry their cardboard boxes to the bar for them.
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HurtsSoGood
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
I guess I should assume my job is on the chopping block and start hoarding cash. Bad for the immediate economy, but Number One's needs come first.
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Queen of the Passive Aggressives
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
The BoD doesn't really do anything. In a large company sr management has NO idea who the people are that fill the cubicles. I've seen entire groups cut out and once a group was hired back - oops - 2 groups/same name 2 very different functions. They literally put up yellow stickies on a "war room" wall and then went to town. Slash/slash. The best business plan is to suck up from day one. To the BIGGEST boss you can find. One with low self esteem and a huge ego is a good choice. You won't even be on the list unless the entire group goes. In that case be sure YOUR biggest boss sucks up to the chairman - if he doesn't then find out which group is that and get in.
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thatgirlinnewyork
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
how about this as evidence of the genius that is management consulting: a very significant marketing entity with accenture as a client now has all of its work "evaluated" on a quantitative scale by an independent group in bangalore, rather than accenture's corporate marketing group. solutions for the 21st century, yo!
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kalm77
07/24/09

@thatgirlinnewyork: did u know McKinsey's CEO has also outsourced to McKinsey Knowledge Center in Delhi India! LOL LOL
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thatgirlinnewyork
07/24/09

@kalm77: i didn't! but it doesn't surprise me--knowledge is, obviously, cheaper there!
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depardoo
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
It's true. They actually tell a company what business it should be doing and what its strategy should be. Isn't that what management and the board of directors are supposed to be doing? If it ain't working, fire them. As an aside, when my company was acquired by another, a bunch of the new guys came over from Europe for "integration" meetings that were run by McKinsey. An officer whom I did not know from Adam leaned over towards me during the presentation and whispered "These guys are carrying out fees in wheelbarrows".
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Edited by depardoo at 07/23/09 2:41 PM depardoo was starred depardoo was unstarred

thatgirlinnewyork
07/23/09

@depardoo: all too common those wheelbarrows. andersen was once a marketing client of a firm for which i worked. as a "professional exchange", they began to take up residence there, and never left. it turns out we continued to pay them for the privilege.
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anibundel
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
Goldblog claims to have gotten a hold of one of the early memos from McKinsey & Co. to C.Nast....
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Motoko Kusanagi
07/23/09

In reply to The Complete McKinsey Survival Guide
People need to stop trading in their lives for a semblance of security at these big firms. There is no such thing as a career in America anymore. Everyone is a mercenary, whether they know it or not.
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m4ximusprim3
07/23/09

@Motoko Kusanagi: I agree. Everyone should just start etsy stores and become millionares.
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Miss Anita Manbadly
07/23/09

@Motoko Kusanagi: Sadly, people at my former employer continue to give up nights / weekends / vacations / holidays because the scales have not fallen off their eyes. And these are people with 20-plus years at the same business. Sad, no?
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britneyspearstears
07/23/09

@Motoko Kusanagi: Technically, we're all whores.
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braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
07/24/09

@britneyspearstears: Speak for yourself. I'm unemployed.
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miss_msry
07/22/09

In reply to How Does One Survive a McKinsey Visit?
Hearst didn't need to hire McKinsey to rape their publications. They did it the old-fashioned way. Drawing names out of a hat. It was just a coincidence most of those people turned out to be over 50.
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edosan
07/22/09

In reply to How Does One Survive a McKinsey Visit?
I've learned from many jobs that once the consultants come in, it's time to get that resume in order.

Seriously, have the people at Conde Nast ever seen "Office Space?"
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
07/22/09

In reply to How Does One Survive a McKinsey Visit?
well, it's kind of already too late to change your fate. ur either on ur manager's good list or bad list. the consultants take reccs from the managers. good=maybe. bad=dead.
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DontMakeMe
07/22/09

In reply to How Does One Survive a McKinsey Visit?
(Per Hamilton's item this morning): Find out what Alessandra Stanley does to keep her job at the Times, and do that. Should make you damn near impervious.
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sakade
07/22/09

@DontMakeMe: Mind control, right? She must have some kind of mind control power that prevents her from getting fired, but all that brain power she uses to keep her job intact means she's got nothing left for fact-checking or proofreading. Start working on your ability to bend a spoon with your mind, Conde Nasties.
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