A Man Is Recruiting Young Cornell Women to Join His "Nymph Squad"

According to the Tompkins County Sheriff’s Office, a man was seen handing out these fliers in the Town of Newfield and on the Cornell University campus in an attempt to recruit his very own “Nymph Squad Commune.”
Scientists Invent Awesome 'Time Cloak'
What are scientists up to these days, in their science castles? Oh, not much. Not much... except inventing a way to make whole events invisible by fucking around with time.
Famous Rapper Wreaks Havoc on College Bar by Demanding Drinks for Free
It was the coolest of times, it was the crappiest of times. B.o.B., a famous rapper, came all the way to Ithaca to play a show at Cornell University. This was, according to locals, cool. But then he went and ran up a $1,060 bill at a local bar, and refused to pay the waiter. This was, according to locals, not cool.…
Read the Gross Toga Party Invites of a Cornell U. Athletic Team
It's common knowledge that Cornell University—the Ivy of Ithaca— is America's douchiest college. But how is that douchiness manifested? The toga party invitations annually sent out by one of Cornell's athletic teams shed some light on this question!
Cornell Nerd: Internet Bandwidth Limit Ruins My Social Life
Rising Cornell sophomore Cristina Lara wants her school to abolish its 50GB/month student bandwidth limit. (To use more, students have to pay.) "Internet usage is free in virtually every college and university in the country," Cristina writes in a petition, "and it's also free among all 7 other institutions in the Ivy…
These Are the 'Douchiest' Colleges in America
While I'd like to retire the word "douche" and its many derivations, that doesn't mean it doesn't have its uses. Just look at GQ, which published a new, revised list of the "Douchiest Colleges in America" today. So what schools made the list?
College Drug Dealers Torn Over California Marijuana Vote
The Cornell Daily Sun spoke to a source at UCLA, "John," who deals weed on campus, about the upcoming November vote in California to legalize marijuana. As a stoner, he likes it. As a businessman, it's bad news.
Cornell Gorge Gets New Suicide Barriers
Following the jumping death of a student—Cornell's sixth suicide in as many months—the university has erected new seven-foot anti-suicide barriers over its highest gorge-crossing bridge. [IvyGate, Related]
Dave Price, Cornell Grad, Is The Early Show's Andy Bernard
I'm sorry your NCAA bracket was killed by Northern Iowa and Saint Mary's. But you know whose wasn't? Other than Harry Smith? His Early Show co-anchor Dave Price. Why? He went to a little school called Cornell. Heard of it?
Do Cornell's Gorges Make Kids Commit Suicide?
Cornell recently experienced its sixth student suicide in as many months. The two most recent deaths occurred when students threw themselves into the gorges that cut through its campus in Ithaca, NY. Can we blame the scenery for the deaths?
Hazing Rituals of a Literary Fraternity: As Stomach-Churning as a Regular Frat
A wayward memo from Alpha Delta Phi's Cornell chapter reveals naked jogging, live animals, pornography, and a smoothie made from dog food, tabasco, and sour cream. Or, as it is known at Taco Bell, nachos grande.
Keith Olbermann Now Just Andy From The Office
Which I guess makes Ann Coulter... Angela? See, here he is pointing to his Cornell Diploma in order to settle some ridiculous argument. So this is what he'll do without George Bush to kick around!
On American TV's The Office, the writers all decided Ed Helm's fratty douchebag character Andy is a Cornell grad, making…
Ivy League Jocks Play Dress-Up With Their Own Clothing Line
The founders of Vineyard Vines hit it big a few years ago with a clothing line given a leg up by by fancy-nancy John Kerry's ability to pull off a pink whale-dotted tie on the campaign trail. Seems they've gone and started a thing. Prepster-chic Salmon Cove was founded by four Cornell grad s (three of whom played pro…
Ivy League School's Janitors First Line Of Defense Against Student Suicides
Cornell University is training its janitors in the fine art of spotting suicidal college students! "These kids are looking to us to provide care," one such eagle-eyed custodian tells the Wall Street Journal today. "But they don't see administrators every day, they see me." The maintenance worker noticed she was…
