Neil DeGrasse Tyson's Cosmos, the Carl Sagan–inspired show that answers viewers' questions about the physical universe (and raises new ones), is up for a Critics' Choice Award in the same category as Duck Dynasty, a show that pits a family of sentient beards against men's sinful anuses.

Last week, someone slowed down a video of Neil DeGrasse Tyson just enough to make the Cosmos host sound unbelievably stoned. Turns out Tyson loved the video, and he played it for a laughing audience at a lecture in Toronto over the weekend.

If today feels extra strange for you, hang in there, it's merely the earth being pummeled by a "wave of plasma and charged particles" you're feeling. Yes, this humble little planet of ours is in the midst of a solar storm-the biggest solar storm in five years actually- and it might be throwing your Mercury in…