Contact him now. Before he becomes a star. [Pic via]

The listing, preserved here for posterity, goes like this:

obama upper west side (West Village)
Date: 2009-11-20, 6:01PM EST
Reply to: job-ub4ww-1475290617@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

ATTN: I'm getting a lot of sarcastic emails. Don't bother sharing your wit with me: it's been done. And done. This is an UNPAID internship intended for a STUDENT and is a RESEARCH position that will give him experience and position on a prestige project. If you can't afford to work in a role that offers credit only, but no renumeration, this isn't for you. If you're the sort of person who has the spare time to respond sarcastically to Craigslist postings, this REALLY isn't for you. Thanks.

I'm working on a memoir, set in 1983, when I lived with Obama for a year.

The memoir is about my life and about what New York was like in 1983, and how we lived then, but Barack is obviously a player in the story. This is not a tell-all, it's a friendly, gentle and literate book.

I work full time in a highly visible career and would like to work with a research assistant to help me stay focused.

This is you:

You live in Manhattan and can visit the Village frequently.
Your living situation is stable, as is your personal life.
Your income is stable.
You can work with a six month window. (ok, maybe a year. it depends.)
You are a fantastic and empathetic listener.
You're creative and imaginative and a fine writer. You can shape material.
You don't drink or use drugs. No psychological disorders I have to deal with.
You are in a graduate writing program at NYU or Columbia.
You want an opportunity to work on a visible book.
You are dependable, timely, punctual and highly motivated to succeed.

This is an internship, not a paid position.

I have already begun, finally, this week, after thinking about it for a the last year. Now is the time. My agent is waiting on the first 100 pages. Let's go.

* Compensation: non-paying internship
* This is an internship job
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1475290617

So: who do we have who needs an "intern" who is also in a graduate writing program? Or, otherwise: which Upper West Side asshole friend of Obama's hepcat days is now enough of a square to need an unpaid slave to help write their feeder-fish book and expect to be paid in the form of, maybe, a thank you in a book that has yet to be written on one year of Obama's life?

Have you applied for the job? You got any guesses? Shoot us an email or throw it in the comments. We'd love to know, 'cause, you know: we've got questions, too.

The only non internet person on Couric's list, in fact, is FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski. The other people who control the media, according to the CBS Evening News anchor, are all Web heads:

• Google's Larry Page and Sergey Brin.
  
• Huffington Post founder Arianna Huffington.
  
• The founders of the women's blogging network BlogHer: Jory Des Jardins, Elisa Camahort Page and Lisa Stone. This is a big stretch but we're assuming Couric is trying to imagine the less sexist world she'd like to live in and lend some buzz to a feminist cause. Fair enough.
  
• Craig Newmark, Craigslist founder.
  
• Twitter co-founders Evan Williams and Biz Stone.
  
• Facebook CEO and co-founder Mark Zuckerberg.

Couric is obviously just trying to butter up people who might be able to help her ditch the old fuddy-duddies at CBS News and expand her promising sideline in lifecasting. Which is, frankly, brilliant. We know some other people who might be able to help you Katie, call us.

Oh, and the Jewish thing? Couric is no anti-Semite, but we couldn't help but notice that her list of people who supposedly control the media does contain a majority of people of Jewish descent: Brin, Page, Newmark, Zuckerberg, Genachowski and Camahort Page.

Of course, the pace of change in Silicon Valley has a way of leveling these old-world distinctions. Page's family was non-practicing; Zuckerberg has gone atheist and Camahort Page is "a total non-religious person."

[via Bay Newser via NBC Bay Area]

We found Fred Carter via Craigslist, where he was selling 12 tickets to tonight's Yankees/Phillies World Series game for $450 a pop. He quickly corrected our correspondent when asked about his work as a "ticket scalper". "Ticket broker," he said. Whatever. Carter says he has been a professional broker of tickets since the 1980 Olympics in Lake Placid, NY. He was on a business trip when reached today by phone, and the call was constantly interrupted on his end by "moochers"—which we're pretty sure is what he calls his clients. Following are excerpts from our conversation. It should be proof enough, if more proof is needed, that ticket scalping is the purest form of free-market capitalism.

On Susan Finkelstein, the woman arrested for allegedly offering sex for world series tickets:

Every one of those cops should be fired on the spot. If they're such pussies that they can't go into a neighborhood where people are shooting and killing each other and have to waste their time on some woman who's trying to fuck her way into the World Series, they should be fired. They should be fired and maybe prosecuted. They just spent a lot of money on nothing.

On New Yorkers:

I never realized that New Yorkers were such weather pussies before. They really pussed out for the Saturday night game against the Angels, and they pussed out again last night. Ticket prices got better as the rain started to let up, though.

On Californians:

"Californians are such weather pussies. If it's raining people stay home and you can sell a 49ers ticket for like 45 bucks.

On yesterday's World Series game:

Yesterday was the cheapest world series game I've ever seen. There may have been cheaper ones—but certainly since the strike I haven't seen one like this for years.

On ticket scalping strategy:

You gotta take a chance; you gotta take a risk. There's no sure things. You try to work out—using your vast and extensive brain-lodged database of knowledge and intuition—your risk-reward ratio. To that end, for example, we have Yankees tickets but we don't have Mets tickets.

On Eliot Spitzer:

The greatest player in the ticket game in New York was Governor Spitzer. He and some assemblymen from upstate New York, they got a bill passed and now there's a free market on tickets. Very, very worthwhile and useful piece of legislation.

On Journalists:

You can set your price at $800 on Craigslist and there's always some idiot journalist who will say, "Tickets are going for $800!"

On Industriousness:

Three of these guys that I know—two of them in New York, one in San Francisco—they go around with their six or seven year-old son: "Oh, can you help us out—we're just trying to go in!" He picks up tickets really, really cheap. People take pity on him. Next thing you know, there's the kid playing over there in a coffee shop while Dad's selling the tickets he got for three times what he paid. Now, that's just industriousness. But of course if the child labor people found out about this...

On concerts:

Sometimes when you work at concerts you sometimes get girls who shake their tits at you. They nestle up to you and say "You can do me a little favor, can't you?" They want some $100 ticket for 30 bucks. I say to them: "I don't think you would get that for 30 bucks if you were naked with knee pads on." And that usually insults them. But I'm like, you were the one trying to be a whore in the first place.

Look for Frank Carter at a Pearl Jam concert, NFL Game or motivational speaking engagement near you.

It appears that a friend (or family member?) got a little close to the bartender at the couple's second reception at Manhattan's Puck Building last night and can't stop thinking about him. Like anyone obsessed with that hottie behind the bar who gives a little wink for a bigger tip, he took to Craigslist to see if he could score. Please apply a big [sic].

Bartender at Ivanka Trumps wedding celebration - m4m - 32 (SoHo)

I was with my cousin and couldnt think of what I wanted to drink. I ended up getting a JW and Coke and by the look on your face I could tell you werent a fan... well, of the drink I hope. You had on black frame glasses and black hair. You're stunning. If you remember me, what color was my tie?

If we were that bartender, we would get right to responding, because this guy has got to be rich! Any of the Kusher-Trump cronies who might be a poor, gay single would be trying to score someone with some scratch among the well-heeled attendees. Only one with his own business (trust fund? excellent job? jewelry line?) would even bother looking twice at the help. This is your Cinderella moment, anonymous bartender. Seize it!

Also: tomorrow we're picking the winner of our Javanka wedding photo contest, so you still have time to work this anecdote into your entry. Winner gets $150.

There's so much awesome ridiculousness in this clip, I couldn't tell you where to begin. You could start with Christine Romans' theoretical about being a "party girl" who needs "15 hits of E." Or Ali Velshi astutely noting that the word "prostitute," after a good Googling, turns up "many, many roads." He knows this how? Common knowledge!

But then there's Stephen "Cheesy Doodle" Smith. EVERYTHING HE HAS TO SAY IS IMPORTANT. And now he's doing...financial commentary?

"If something were illegal," Smith, uh, argues, "they couldn't come on CNN and advertise it!" O RLY? Also: debatable. But then they get to the subject of who would get involved to enforce this thing, and Stephen A. Smith confuses the DEA with the DA. And then: crickets. Pointless, awkward, wonderful. This is one of my favorite out-of-context clips ever, now. Enjoy.

The dog looks nice, at least.

Apply now!

Said Judge John Grady:

"Sheriff [Thomas] Dart may continue to use Craigslist's Web site to identify and pursue individuals who post allegedly unlawful content. But he cannot sue Craigslist for their conduct."

Since the sheriff filed his suit in March, Craigslist has renamed the section "adult services" and imposed rules requiring a working phone number and valid credit card from, err, adult service providers. This doesn't seem to have impacted business much. But that's actually a good thing for the sheriff: since hookers will continue to flock to Craigslist, which cooperates with police, Dart can continue to use the site as a choke point for large-scale prostitution busts, as he has in the past. He just can't demonize the site for his own political posturing.

A tipster forwarded an email exchange, including picture, in which this gregarious gentleman identified himself and claimed to have "plenty of ski here" (again, that means cocaine) and that he can either host at his house or travel somewhere else. After leaving a soul-crushing pressure cooker of a beat — one which got him no small amount of grief for delving into the sexual histories of national figures — 219's no doubt enjoying the free time his current posting affords him. But some blow and blow so early in the morning on a school night? Sir, we salute your hearty constitution! If we're going to quibble about anything it's this: we've all been known to shave off a few years and pounds on internet "dating" sites, but rounding down by a decade... really?

It's enough to make you suspect it was written by Tucker himself. But, as with the leaked clips from Max's film, it provides a service regardless of its authenticity: It baits Max's fratty target audience while giving everyone else a clue that they should run screaming from this movie, brah.

Prepare to have your heart melted:

Instead of posting nude photos with their "massage" and "escort" ads, providers now post bikini pictures, the San Francisco Chronicle reports. And instead of explaining how many times you can have sex with them, they now "quote their prices in roses per hour." This is all wayyy too confusing for customers, says the "Erotic Service Providers Union," proving decisively the Craigslist has the dumbest johns on the planet.

Cops say he was not the most discreet pimp; the hotel knew what was going on.

(Click images to enlarge)

Cops set up a sting operation and rented the hotel room next door, heard sexy sounds, and then stopped the johns when they left. In this way they learned everything: a prostitution operation based online at sites like Craigslist and Cityvibe.com. They got two of the prostitutes to provide statements about how they got their jobs—the old-fashioned way.

So Provencher was getting $400 per day from just one of his (at least four) hookers. A second woman describes much the same "audition" process:

Kevin Provencher is innocent until proven guilty, but it's not looking so great for him right this minute.
[Full complaint, via Eagle-Tribune]

Kevin Provencher, 50, has worked for the paper for more than half his life, and has been a sportswriter there for 23 years. So this probably came as a bit of a surprise in the ol' break room:

Massachusetts police said about five women worked for Provencher and two of them will be witnesses. Provencher allegedly recruited the women on Craigslist and arranged for them to meet him at a Manchester hotel, wearing specified clothing, where he would "audition" them.

Police have been observing the "operations" at the hotel for more than a month, and they call Provencher the "ringleader" of the prostitution.

law enforcement authorities "could clearly hear activities consistent with sexual intercourse." Officers said men who were intercepted after leaving had agreed to cooperate in the investigation.

Damn.
[Union Leader via Romenesko. Pic via]

A tipster tells us that she put her apartment up on Craigslist and rented it out to English, winner of ANTM's seventh "cycle," and her boyfriend Ryan Bunnell, who was an assistant director on Pretty Wicked an Oxygen reality show that English hosted. When she returned home after two weeks, our source says the place looked like a frat house after the annual "Bongs and Thongs" party.

There was fake orange tan dust all over everything: the pillows, the sheets, the towels, the bathmat, the walls, everywhere. The icing on the cake were the short black hairs all over the entire bathroom, as well as an unidentifiable black sludge and lipstick smeared along walls. Fruit flies formed a thick cloud in the kitchen. Band-Aids stuck to the floor...Both puzzling and sickening.

Our favorite detail though has to do with a busted remote control:

I was shocked...to find a hole in the middle of my living room wall that was made during [their] stay. Coincidentally it's about the same size as the remote control, which is also broken.

See, people, this is why you don't let strangers into your house! And just because you've seen them on television and laughed when Tyra gave them a bad makeover and rooted for them to win out over that skank Melrose in the finale doesn't mean that you actually know them.

In the witty email our tipster sent the tanorexic couple, she excoriates them for betraying the respect for other people's homes that's necessary for the survival of this whole anonymous internet mi casa es su casa approach to renting out one's living space. See, this is what happens when you rent out to a reality show winner. If she had chosen someone who came in like, third place, at least they'd have some humility.

The full letter is below (don't miss the PS!):

Ryan and CariDee,

I was shocked when I returned home yesterday to find a hole in the middle of my living room wall that was made during your stay. Coincidentally it's about the same size as the remote control, which is also broken. For this, I will be keeping your deposit.

Along with that, there was fake orange tan dust all over everything: the pillows, the sheets, the towels, the bathmat, the walls, everywhere. The icing on the cake were the short black hairs all over the entire bathroom, as well as an unidentifiable black sludge and lipstick smeared along walls. Fruit flies formed a thick cloud in the kitchen. Bandaids stuck to the floor, etc. etc. etc. Both puzzling and sickening.

People on Craigslist rent out their homes, not their hotel rooms. It's for mature, respectful people. If you throw things at walls, you are neither. Tanning dust, black sludge, black hairs hairs, and wall holes are for hotel rooms where a maid comes everyday. I've been doing this for five years, and I've never had anyone treat my home this way.

I don't think that you two were intentionally disrespectful—I can see you two tried to wash the sheets—it's probably just how you roll. But if you roll that way, stay in a hotel. Take responsibility for your profoundly tantastic lives.

If I hear about you renting off Craigslist again, I will post my story of the Tanning Dust/Black Sludge Nightmare as a warning to other renters. Actually I just might do that anyway, after I get done cleaning the bathroom, which should take a week. Regardless, no more Craigslist for you two.

[Redacted]

P.S. You left your diarrhea medicine on the floor.

The upset subletter also sent her missive to NY Mag's The Cut, which asked English about the claims. She says they're "extremely false," but didn't get into specifics.

For the gays, the usefulness of any technology has always been measured on how it will help them get laid. Craigslist has slowed down cruising by forcing people to enter those stupid loopy words every time you want to respond to an m4m ad. Manhunt is about to roll out extensive changes. It's getting harder to find homo hookups online. Where should gays go to find sex so their not roaming the streets like a pack of cock-hungry zombies? Or should we just find the right girl, settle down, have some kids, move to Cobble Hill, and commit suicide 20 years later because we're unfulfilled?

Manhunt: The most popular virtual bathhouse, this is still the place to go for one-stop shopping for sloppy seconds. But remember how well the "new Facebook" went? Imagine similar (but even cattier) sentiments when they change their format later this month. We got an advanced look at it (thanks to a lonely night in a European capital—don't ask), and it's not amazing.
Who You'll Find Online: Just about every gay with an internet connection
Why It Will Catch On: The new design makes reading mail and seeing your friends easier. Also, it's where the boys are.
Why It Sucks: The searches are harder than ever. And this is it's first major overhaul since 2002 and basically all they did was change the color scheme, reorganized the homepage, and add "cock size" as a category. We expect more.
Celeb You Might Accidentally Cruise: Lance Bass

Craigslist: The "Penny Saver of dick" (as Margaret Cho calls it) has always been free and easy, if not full of trolls.
Who You'll Find Online: Trolls, meth addicts, and "Str8 guys."
Why It Will Catch On: It offers every insane fetish you could possibly imagine and a ton of anonymity.
Why It Sucks: Now, to respond to every ad, you have to answer one of those annoying questions that prevent spammers. It provides uneven returns. And, it's full of trolls.
Celeb You Might Accidentally Cruise: Larry Craig

Grindr: This iPhone app locates other users close to you so that you two can meet on a street corner before getting it on.
Who You'll Find Online: Urban gays with iPhones.
Why It Will Catch On: The gays are early adopters and love playing with gadgets. Also, it's easier to travel down the block to meet a guy than across town. Also, have you seen Guys with iPhones [NSFW]? If these are the 'mos using it, sign us up!
Why It Sucks: Not enough people yet. If it can't get the boys laid, they'll go back to Manhunt and Grindr will be as effective as a vibrator with dead batteries.
Celeb You Might Accidentally Cruise: Neil Patrick Harris

Adam4Adam: This is a burgeoning free service that survives on advertising (mostly of the porn variety) rather than subscriptions.
Who You'll Find Online: Those too cheap or poor to pay for a cruising website.
Why It Will Catch On: The economy has melted and no one has a job.
Why It Sucks: You get what you pay for, and in this case, you'll be paying a copay for that rash you have in the morning. Oh, and the orange and brown color-scheme looks like a 1970s kitchen gone awry.
Celeb You Might Accidentally Cruise: Bobby Trendy

Atomic Men: This West Coast-based site is pushing a big relaunch. Then again, so are some American car companies, and we're skeptical about that too.
Who You'll Find Online: Guys in LA who have worked through everyone on Manhunt.
Why It Will Catch On: Hmm...all the other hook up sites have died?
Why It Sucks: It's ugly, there aren't enough guys, it's confusing, and you have to pay for it. At least Adam4Adam is disgusting and free.
Celeb You Might Accidently Cruise: Perez Hilton

Here's the text of a Missed Connection ad currently on Craigslist:

I just saw you in the elevator of the Conde Nast building. You got on at the 12th floor and I was already in the elevator. We looked at each other and smiled. I think you are so pretty I just had to post this right away (I doubt you'll see it though). You have black hair, dark brown eyes (almost black), a black shirt, and a black and white skirt. If you see this, please write me.

The run-in happened yesterday morning, so surely some of you Conde Nasters out there must know something about the young lady (a Voguette possibly?) involved here. Help us, help you! Feel free to send any info/updates to us. Let's make this happen people!

Elevator of Conde Nast Building [Craigslist]
pic via

Someone decided to document said phenomenon on Craigslist for us! The poster in question is clearly a well-to-do Brooklyn philanthropy oriented type. She offers to help the man get his penis back in his pants, with her friends! And maybe a photograph of him on the internet might help it stay there, no? Here's the post:

After only one stop I looked up from a rousing game on my phone to see that you appeared to be in great pain because your face was contorted. Upon second glance I noticed the problem..Your penis was trying to escape from your pants!

Clearly it had found its' way through your zipper (I can only imagine the pain that caused) and wiggled away from your grasp. In fact, it was already making a break for it! I saw it hiding behind your man-purse where no one could see but me. You struggled to grip it in your hand very tightly in what must have been a valiant effort to contain the beast, every time you pulled it back a little it would escape further and with more force. I admire you, it's not easy - I'm a woman and I know those things can be hard to handle. Still, I was shocked. The penises I've come in contact with were always much more domesticated and happy with their owners - is yours unhappy with you?

Maybe you were pleading with me for help, because you were staring at me quite intently. I met your eyes and while I wanted to speak - to cry out and tell everyone of the trouble you were having - I had no words. However, a picture is worth a thousand words and so I thought I would snap one on my phone so I could warn the world of your unruly penis.

Your penis must be camera shy because once it realized a picture had been taken it receded to the safety of your slacks once again and you quickly ran off the train at Atlantic Street/Pacific Ave- no doubt to go discipline it - or maybe to go to a hospital and have it drugged. I don't really know.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

While the Craigslist poster nor the man in the picture have been identified, we'd like both to come forward if they wish, certainly one more than the other. Craigslist poster: you're a wonderful, fun writer! And it was so kind of you to charitably offer to help that nice man on the subway.

Other person: you're a fucking dirtbag, and I can assure you that if I or my friends see you on the subway, your penis will be kicked very hard to ensure that it stays where it belongs, or at the very least, someone's gonna call an MTA cop. Also, girls don't give a fuck about your peen; it's old and disgusting and you're certainly not going to help its cause by doing this. But you'll give us great material! So: carry on, I guess!

You dropped your penis, I snapped a picture [Craigslist]

No answer is correct, however, you must be high enough to think that phrase is clever in order to write for bumbenschwacker, blog of the future. Apply now.

It seems every day brings more stories that help paint the listings website as a cesspool of scams, killers and sexual exploitation. Here's just a random smattering of the coverage from the past week or so:

• Queens woman allegedly rents same apartment to seven people via Craigslist (NY Post)
• Woman reports buying fake tickets to Chesney (Fargo Inforum)
• Two busted in Craigslist hooker scam (NY Daily News)
  
• Nebraska Mom Attempts to Sell Her 18-Month-Old on Craigslist (AP)
  
• Hawaii Craigslist Sex Ring Busted; Woman Wanted (KGMB)

Since the day Obama was sworn in conservatives have been grinding their teeth in anger over the fact that George W. Bush has done the gentlemanly ex-President thing and refrained from being critical of Obama. Now the Times, most recently in the news for running a photo of the Obama girls with a story about murdered children, has a story out tonight in which Bush takes some mildly critical swipes at Obama, a story that's been sitting on their webpage since at least midnight looking like it wasn't edited for proper punctuation before it was published and sent out for linkage. Below is a screen grab.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.


We're guessing that this is how the passage pictured should probably read:

"I know it's going to be the private sector that leads this country out of the current economic times we're in," the former president said to applause from members of a local business group. "You can spend your money better than the government can spend your money."

Repeatedly in his hourlong speech and question-and-answer session, Mr. Bush said he would not directly criticize the new president, who has moved to take over financial institutions and several large corporations. Several times, however, he took direct aim at Obama policies as he defended his own during eight years in office.

"Government does not create wealth. The major role for the government is to create an environment where people take risks to expand the job rate in the United States," he said to huge cheers.

Mr. Bush weighed in on some of the most pressing issues of the day: the election in Iran, the closing of the Guantanamo Bay detention center in Cuba, and his administration's interrogation policies of terrorists held there and elsewhere. The former president has not commented on Mr. Obama's decision to ban enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding, which the current president has called "off course and based on fear."

Seriously, what the hell is going on at the Times these days? Is ignorance of fancy computer programs to blame here, just as it supposedly was when they ran the photo of the Obama girls with the murdered schoolchildren story? Or have they laid off so many people that everything they do is computer generated?

Then again, a reader wrote in to say that the Times was recently advertising on Craigslist to fill a web producer position, which, well, probably solves the riddle.

UPDATE: (4:09AM) It appears as though someone at the Times has finally edited the piece.

Bush Takes Swipes at Obama Policies [Washington Times]