1.) Standard layoffs. Finance and Wall Street types, bored and sad in their apartments.

2.) Hustling.

This is what Craigslist is all about, recession or not. Tough times just give it an extra sense of urgency.

Oct 5 - YOUNG DUDES FEELING THE RECESSION? - m4m - 25 - (rockland/all over)
Oct 6 - ANY FEMALES NEED EXTRA CASH IN THIS RECESSION - w4w - (BRONX)

3.) Desperate threats disguised as personals!

These have nothing to do with the recession, by the way. Dudes are just using a news hook to instill fear—much like the ads recruiting hustlers.

The economy is worsening and this isnt the time to be single with no clue on how to survive the recession. I have a myspace page you have to read if you want to take that first step to changing your life for the better.

4.) Sugar baby needed: The economy's bad! You need someone to take care of you.

Laid off from Wall Street? - Have lunch ($$) on me - m4w - 30 (midtown)

I just heard Playboy is looking for Women of Wall Street, trying to find hotties who have been laid off from the investment banks. I'm also in finance, but still have a job thankfully. How about this offer - if you've been laid off, perhaps we can have a lunch date in my bed, along with a $1000 donation for you.

Serious replies please. Only professional women (I'll ask to see your ID card).

(If being paid doesn't make you feel like a whore, showing your ID card beforehand definitely will.)

5.) Sugar daddy needed. The economy's bad! I need a man to take care of me.

"OH WHAT THE HELL - EVERYONE IS DOING IT ANYWYAY - w4m - 32"
Here goes: looking for a benefactor relationship with one generous man - no drama/stds or CL addicts.

Reason for looking for such relationship: Was laid off like so many other people. So why not the new trend of benefactor relationship where the arrangement is clear from the beginning and no drama while I sort my job situation out as the economy rebounds. (If you have never been laid off and frustrated you may not understand this and please don't email me with a lecture - men who have been down and out will understand this more than men who have never been through such times.)

Finally, here's a thoughtful young man we won't get along with:

"I'm looking for someone possessed of a sharp intellect that I can converse with. a brooding sense of humor is a plus, as long as it isn't composed solely of snarky pointed remarks at the expense of others. gallows humor is what I'm talking about here. this is a 'depression,' after all, isn't it?"

Yes, it certainly is.

Other sought after qualities:

Has expensive tastes while being really cheap
Makes totally inappropriately timed comments
Always wants to go home early
Acts really cold to my sister
Gets extremely possessive and jealous
Constantly touches me at inappropriate times in inappropriate ways
Has a painfully obnoxious laugh or says "that's so funny" rather than laughing

Good lord, guy. Just walk out into the street and find the first girl reading New York Magazine! [Craigslist via DailyNuzzo]

Oh, P.S., ha ha ha, Howard Stern punked everyone, no wonder our tipsters at Lehman seemed a lot less sanguine than these guys. But bankers of the banks, take it from the media, which might not be so entranced by this recession if our entire industry weren't in the throes of an irreversible decade long contraction: fucking is superior to financial success! And there is a whole world of people who work in economic sectors like "education" and "music, ha ha ha" who would not even think to equate one with the other. So take heart; at least your industry can't exactly go anywhere — someone has to figure out how much money your industry owes China and it's not going to be anyone who has spent the year cultivating microfame! — and in the meantime, get drunk, screw someone ill-advisedly and take heart in the fact that when people like me lose jobs, we have to borrow money from journalists.

Sex Diaries: The Overserved Ivy Banker [NYM]
Earlier: In Tough Economic Times, Bankers Long For Intimacy With Their Happy Endings

Seen recently on Craigslist, a heartfelt entreaty:

"Sigh. I knew I should have stayed in advertising.

So really, I was assigned a story for a (non-smut) mag to watch and rate two people having sex. None of my friends will do it—and I don't think I'd want to see that anyway—so here I am, trolling Craigslist's casual encounters with the hopes of finding a normal, heterosexual couple who would be willing to get it on in front of me.

The couple will be completely anonymous in the story (unless they WANT to be ID'd/photographed), and I will not be participating nor doing this to get my rocks off. After all, I am a professional journalist...who isn't paid nearly enough.

Ideally, you and your partner will be somewhat new to boffing each other and not total exhibitionists, although at this point, I'll take what I can get. Also, I'm looking to set this up for Monday or Tuesday night, if possible. And I WILL expect to meet somewhere in public first, so I can rule out whether you're the kind of people who might want to chain me up in your rape room and anally violate me with my tape recorder. (Please don't be.)

So wanna screw in front of a reporter? Holler."

This scribe needs your help people! Get naked and make news. Likely, this is for either a "Talk of the Town" or a Time Out sex column. What do you think? Any guesses? More importantly, who's in?

[Craigslist]

At two authors and $25 per 200 books, one would have to churn out a convincing fake signature every 9 seconds just to earn the advertised $25 per hour. And you're supposed to visit their office on spec to prove your abilities first!

It's not clear on behalf of which authors the ad was posted. The phone number reverses to an ad agency called Nax Partners run by this woman who just appeared on CNBC and advised everyone to adjust their attitudes upward. And their ethics downward, apparently.

[Craigslist]

We are going to launch a FREE daily newspaper here in Los Angeles. We will also be developing a companion website. The initial circulation will be between 200,000 and 350,000 daily M-F, no Saturday edition and a 500,000 circulation Sunday edition which will be available nationally.

It will be distributed free of charge throughout the Los Angeles market through alliances with key retailers and vendor box distribution. Additionally you'll be able to subcribe to it and receive home delivery for $50 a year.

The financing is secure and the ownership (comprised of some remarkable wealthy Angelenos you probably have heard of) is eager to assemble a small idea team that may be comprised of some of our intial hires. The ownership team comes from a wide array of businesses exclusive of traditional media. So...

The goal is to make the paper sustainable within 30 months. Employees will profit share and the company will never be sold and never turned public without a majority vote of the employees.

We are looking for writers, web developers, photographers, editors (that can write), designers and seasoned sales professionals. If you have experience here in LA we know who you are, if you do not but are looking to break in, fine.

We've secured office space in the heart of the city. When we launch, our staff will likely number between 75 and 100.

Right now we are seeking people with ideas who are willing to share them in strict confidence. You will not be paid for this time now but, you may be considered for what will likely be the most coveted media jobs in the country.

The interest list is forming, are you in? Send us your resume, we'll let you know if we want clips.

[Craigslist]
[Via LA Observed]

There are five kids in this fam. You know, there are tons of agencies out there where you can find a nanny. Beware any family not smart enough (or too cheap to) hire someone through them! But:

Sorry, I won't post the pic, in case it's a prank on some innocent, silly-looking dude. (And who would post a pic with an expression like that on his mug when he's looking for sex?) But go see him, and maybe meet your Hamptons house-ticket here.

[Craigslist]

[via Multicult Classics]

Also, you definitely have to be a girl. But a girl without a criminal background.

"I found a home! I dropped off the deposit last night, so it's all on the level now. It's in Brooklyn, at the 15th St. Prospect Park stop; it's under $700 (actually a great price, but I don't want to publicize that widely). It's a great brownstone with two cool roommates, Haiyen and Lindsey.

I didn't have to look at many places, either. Here's how it went down:

My first two places: the buzzer didn't work at the first, so I stood around looking a tourist or something, wishing I had a pink cake to cry into...

Then my friend was having lunch at some restaurant, and the waiter told him that there was a room avail in his building. We saw it that night—a GORGEOUS loft in Bed-Stuy, right off the Morgan stop, I think... The rent was something that came out to just over $500 for 4 people (and we had 4 people), so I said, "We want it."

This I said in front of someone we'll call "Blustafson," a very good-looking but quiet guy sitting playing on the computer. The person leaving the apartment said that "technically it's Blustafson's call, because he's here now..." And I had to whisper, "Is that Blustafson?" I think he finally looked up at this point, and the temperature dropped 20 degrees in the room.

...The next place I looked at was a $500 room... It was also in an interesting neighborhood, right on the Nostrand stop on the A, which felt in some ways like a Caribbean version of Canal St. I went into some great sneaker store and got these awesome sneaks for $19.90. A lot of great sneakers for uner $20. Don't know how they do it—don't care.

Then I went in one of those cheap stores that sell everything, and they had deodorants that I'd never seen marketed in mainstream stores and shorts for $5 and the like. Then I went into this oil and candle shop—because I'm a scent nut—and I was looking at the large selection of oils, and I asked if I could smell them. The guy said they were "not for perfume; for special purposes." But the perfume oils, of which there were a MUCH smaller selection, were on the other shelf. I turned back to the "special purposes" oils and he reiterated his previous point, adding that they were for "religious purposes." Oh. I should have known, considering one was called "voodoo."

The next day I saw the place I got—a gorgeous brownstone on the outskirts of the Park Slope area."

Says Tionna, pictured with Ed, below: "Ed and I definitely know each other. That picture is from his amazing Christmas party he had in NYC. I think you should definitely feature this on Gawker. Everyone is looking for a roommate and he would be a fabulous one especially because he is a talented musician. He is definitely fabulous."


Cool! In case you are also looking for a new place, here are the things Ed likes to read: "Let's have a look at some of my books and DVDs now (you'll notice that I'm an Amy Sedaris fan; hopefully that means that we have a similar sense of humor.)" Also (not pictured): "Here are some bloops about my show and CDs and a snapshot of a column I wrote once upon a time for a Swiss newspaper."

Won't somebody help him out? He has references!

[Craigslist]

He's waiting.

A key line in the ad calls out Crawford's supposed trademark gym outfit of gray t-shirt and green cap. Obviously the ad also got the age about right. Plus there's the line "I'm a fairly recognizable actor."

Here:

But even our Crawford-adoring gay Equinox spy can't believe it's real, speculating that the post is the work of an overexcited gym-mate of the star:

Of course, the Craigslist ad could also be a ruse by Gossip Girl to drum up more publicity and interest in the show (though the email is probably legit, since our tipster is no stranger to our inbox). Who really knows? Probably no one, ever, unless someone can convince Julia Allison to apply her internet de-anonymizing skills to this important riddle.

[Craigslist]

We'll let someone else investigate Grayson's charming encounter with teen sex. The only thing we desire is for Dumbo to consider our teen sex manuscript, It Happened One Puberty, as they promise below.

Cool Brooklyn book publisher looking for cool 18-25yo hipsters to blurb our cool forthcoming book of sex stories for teens. We will send you a PDF of the book and ask for a blurb & headshot for advertising, website, publicity. Tiny honorarium of free books and our guarantee to read and consider your own book manuscript for publication. Our books have been reviewed in Phila. Inquirer, Kirkus, Hipster Book Club, Florida Book Review, etc. You must be cool-looking, smart-looking. Minorities encouraged to apply. Under 18, must have parents' permission!

Say what you want, but their support of people of color demands respect. Strike that, cool people of color.

[Craigslist]

If this is for real—and not would-be-fertilzer-bait—WTF? Aren't Obama's peachy-preachy young supporters the most cyber-savvy voting block in the history of everything? What are they doing trolling that scary-ass old site? Remember: There are no victims, only volunteers. [ craigslist]