The Post, Daily News and Newsday all wrapped Reuters' photo of passengers huddled on the wings of an Airbus 320 around to the back cover, making a great horizontal shot fit into a vertical format.

As for the headline, we're partial to the News' "Hero of the Hudson," obviously. The Post went with "Miracle on the Hudson," taking the focus off the pilot and keeping it on the passengers, who all survived.

The nice thing about the fact that no one died is that a cheeky headline is likely to offend the entire city.

If you can come up with something a bit more zingy, post it in the comments below; we'll pick a winner later.

a

• The View [ABC]

Like the doctors said from the beginning, its been a slow recovery process. I am coming up on the 7th of my surgeries Monday. Today I finally was able to move all my fingers on my right hand. Every step seems huge at this point, and Im doing EVERYTHING I can possibly do to get back to my kids. Yes, I did start eating meat again, but if it helps me to be home holding my little humans sooner, then its all worth it.

My good friend Armen has been kind enough to save me from the hospital food, and brings Jamba Juice, Wahoos, or whatever else I need to keep my calories and protein levels high.

Despite any rumors you might have heard, Ive been treated amazingly well, both here in LA and in Georgia. The hospitals Ive been treated at are THE BEST.

My friends and family have been amazing. My pops has been with me ANY time I need him. My sisters, James, Skinhead Rob, Daniel, Armen and of course Ricardo and Nicole, have all shown amazing support. JD and Mark Hoppus both took the time to come visit and offer their support as well. Estevan Oriol even came in with a calendar.

[MySpace via OhNoTheyDidn't]

-The $700 billion in buying power would be doled out by Congress in stages. After the first $250 billion is authorized, the President could request another $100 billion. The final $350 billion could be cleared by a further act of Congress.

- Washington will take a stake in companies helped through the program so that taxpayers can share in the profits if those companies get back on their feet.

- A new congressional panel would have oversight power and the Treasury secretary would report regularly to lawmakers in two elements of a multi-level oversight apparatus.

- Compensation limits would be set for the chiefs of participating firms to prevent excessive pay and "golden parachutes" for those who might tap government aid and then quit.

- The federal government may stall foreclosure proceedings on home loans purchased under the plan.

- Alongside the plan to buy securities outright, the Treasury Department will conceive an alternative insurance program that would underwrite troubled loans and would be paid for by participating companies.

- If the government has taken losses five years into the program, the Treasury Department will draft a plan to tax the companies that took part to recoup taxpayer losses.

"'Greenspan was considered a master,' Tremonti declared. 'Now we must ask ourselves whether he is not, after [Osama] bin Laden, the man who hurt America the most. . . . It is clear that what is happening is a disease. It is not the failure of a bank, but the failure of a system. Until a few days ago, very few were willing to realize the intensity and the dramatic nature of the crisis.'

"The system is collapsing, exactly like the Albanian pyramids collapsed,' Tremonti said. 'The idea is gaining ground that the way out of the crisis is mainly with large public investments. . . . The return of rules is accompanied by a return of the public sector.'"

Okay, okay. So our shit's a little fucked up right now. But here's one thing: We don't have to take any crap from the likes of fucking Italy. How are your Neo-Nazi soccer riots going? And, what're you guys on now? Like your 24th "Republic" since Mussolini? Give it a rest. And don't get me started on Spain, Germany and France. [LAT]

D: So did you actually call Sir Ben Kingsley "Sir Ben" on set?

DH: I did. Absolutely. With pleasure.

D: Yet the viewer gets the sense you have the mandate to continually bust his balls, even off-camera. You also share a fairly shocking moment near the end of the film. What was your relationship like?

DH: It was all written, really. It was a wonderful relationship that seems very real and honest; you can tell the two men really loved each other and respected each other. I think that my character realized that as professors at the university, Sir Ben was probably a little smarter, a little brighter, a little more removed — but certainly not as worldly as my character, who is advising him on having an affair with a younger woman. My character has had many affairs. It's the one moment my character has an up on him. In my career I never had a part that was really seemed like a real person — the emotion, the give and take between Sir Ben and myself were very honest, I thought.

D: Your career is endlessly fascinating: You acted alongside James Dean twice; obviously there's Easy Rider; you've appeared opposite three Oscar-winners in as many films this year alone. Do you ever take stock of how many Hollywood storylines your work intersects?

DH: Yeah, sort of. But not really. I think of my career as a disappointment most of the time. After Easy Rider and The Last Movie, not directing anymore was a really devastating affair for me. And for the last 16 years, trying to direct movies and not getting financing has really been very hard on me. I really want to direct. I know that through the years I've been very fortunate to act; Blue Velvet was wonderful. Apocalypse Now. But if you still always think about directing movies, it's a chore. And I had to take a lot of bad movies at times. Out of 150 movies that I've been in, there are maybe 20 that are really good movies.

D: You've also got TV behind you and in front of you, including an cable adaptation of Crash. It's obviously a pretty polarizing film; will the series follow that same vein?

DH: Well, you'll remember that that was three different stories that sort of all come together in Los Angeles. Los Angeles is still the basis of where it's all happening, though we're shooting in Albuquerque. The writers are the same — Bobby Moresco and Paul Haggis — but the characters are all different. I play a Phil Spector-type music mogul whose always trying to look for the next big move. He's hired a 22-year-old driver from Watts who wants to be a rap star. Their relationship is totally bizarre. But it's wonderfully written and I'm having a good time.

D: But does the world really need 13 more hours of Crash?

DH: These are different characters. But why do they need it? Why does the world need entertainment at all? Do we need TV? We have it. And we do have series, and they're usually 13 in the first run. This is going to be a good 13. I love it because I've never seen such incredible language, and the things you can do on cable television now you can't even get away with in movies. We had an orgy the other day. For me it's a joy.

Cronenberg kept staring at me, like in this weird way, and I said, 'What? What?' And he goes, 'I'm really hoping you'll lactate.' . . . At one point, while we were filming, I screamed and my poor milk just shot off.

I [said] to him, 'Oh, I think you may have gone too far' . . . He cut [the scene] and later sent that little bit of film to me . . . I remember saying to [him] . . . 'Well, you cut out the most significant thing I have ever done on film."

Quite a claim from a woman less than a decade removed at the time from Amazon Women on the Moon, and certainly quite a claim from the set of a film where pretty much everything that could go did go. We have to assume her "poor milk" just never made the shot itself; otherwise we just know Cronenberg would have plugged a copy into the Lactated and Unrated Director's Cut DVD years ago.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• ROSANNA'S SCENE TO FORGET [NYP]

"the accident happened when the car used by two stuntmen rammed into a filming lorry and then into a wall on set near the picturesque Lake Garda in northern Italy..."

"...one of the two men, a Greek national, ended up in intensive care in a hospital in the nearby town of Verona."

None of the major characters from the movie, including the ones played by Matt Dillon, Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock, are likely to make it to the series, said Beggs. "We'll use the style of storytelling from the movie," he said, "but there'll be new characters and new stories to get into the subjects of race and class, and the bigotry that's simmering under the skin of a city like Los Angeles."

Though the jettisoning of Crash's beloved character-types is certainly disappointing (surely, someone at least considered the possibility of making an offer to Kevin Dillon to reprise brother Matt's Oscar-nominated performance), we're sure viewers will embrace the fresh players Paul Haggis uses to expose the prejudice-riddled underbelly of Los Angeles on Starz, open-mindedly accepting the secretly racist firefighters, Hollywood agents, or middle-class housewives who find their lives improbably intertwined by the we're-all-just-trying-feel-something fender-bender that opens each episode.

• Starz braces for 'Crash' [Variety]
• Previously: Lionsgate Pulls WGA Into A Negotiation Room For A Spat-Ending Quickie [Defamer]

• 'Crash' director sues producer over film profits [AFP]

Though Stewart's previous turn as emcee of Hollywood Biggest Night was met by both low ratings and mixed critical reaction (there's really no pleasing Tim Allen) we're willing to give him another chance: he was profoundly unlucky in drawing the coveted assignment in a year irretrievably tainted by a Crash Best Picture win, and can't be blamed for the mass rioting that immediately followed the hand-over of Paul Haggis' second statuette of the cursed ceremony, an uprising that resulted in the tragic burning to the ground of the Kodak amidst chants of "Worst! Oscars! Ever!" With Oscar's home completely rebuilt and the unlikelihood that we'll experience another apocalypse-harkening upset, Stewart's return should be a triumphant one that helps to erase the painful memories of the unfortuante events of that March 2006 evening.

• Academy to Invite Jon Stewart Back as Oscar Host [NY Times]
• Jon Stewart to return as Oscar host [AP]

Spinelli and I were sitting at Starbucks yesterday watching the crash over and over, considering the propensity for understeer those damned wonderful Ferrari Enzos have. Simultaneously we were attempting to answer our own nagging doubts over why someone would erect a concrete divider that close to the track and why it seemed like the "Understeering Brother" was so composed after the accident. It appears we're not the only ones who had some doubts. The star-lovers over at TMZ are asking a question today that we're going to put to you. Was the Undercover Brother doing some Oscar-worthy acting in order to build some publicity for the Daniel Sadek-produced "Redline?" We've re-included the gallery from yesterday below and the compilation video above for further reference. Oh, and by the way...remember...Save The Enzos, save the world. [Hat tip to J.D.!] – Ray Wert

Was Griffin's Crash a Hoax? [TMZ.com]

Related:
Hoon Of The Day: It's The Ferrari Enzo-Killer, Eddie Griffin...Duh; New Video Of Eddie Griffin's Ferrari Enzo Fender-Bender; Another Enzo Bites The Dust, This Time With Eddie Griffin At The Wheel [internal]

Safeguards on secrecy continue up to the ceremony.

On Saturday, the day before the Oscars, the accountants will prepare two identical sets of envelopes stuffed with cards bearing the winners' names, which are placed in a safe.

The morning of the show, each accountant picks up his set of envelopes and places them inside a black, leather case, which contrary to popular myth is not handcuffed to their wrists. Accompanied by police officers, the two are driven separately to the Kodak, each taking a different route as a precaution against Los Angeles' notorious traffic.

Once at the Kodak, the accountants' job is to maintain a poker face and keep the results to themselves until they hand the envelopes to the presenters as each category is announced.

"I take it very, very seriously," Oltmanns said. "The evening of the show, I'm backstage looking at each envelope 15 or 20 times before it's handed to the presenter to make sure that I've got the right envelope for the right presenter."

Unfortunately, not even these elaborate precautions are sufficient to prevent a determined studio from tampering with the results if they're willing to go to any length to lock up an Oscar. We should all now pause to remember the brave PriceWaterhouseCoopers staffers who lost their lives last year after both were intercepted on their separate routes to the ceremony, when accountant-lookalike operatives from Lionsgate overwhelmed them, replaced the Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay envelopes with counterfeit ones indicating a double Crash win, then tossed their bodies in a dumpster behind the Kodak Theatre. As there was nothing in the Academy's archaic bylaws that addressed this exact eventuality, the film was allowed to keep the awards even once the bodies were discovered days later, closing perhaps the saddest chapter in Oscar history.

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Oscar voting draws to close [Reuters]
• Previously: Oscar's Unsung Heroes: The Fearless Accountants Of PricewaterhouseCoopers [Defamer]