Word on the street is that the flame-haired party king of England, future Duke of Suffolk, and the most decorated Female Body Inspector of all time, Prince Harry of Wales, is planning to marry his girlfriend of one-and-a-half years, the lithe blonde human incarnation of Burning Man Cressida Bonas—and soon.

Earlier this week, Prince Harry and a 24-year-old blonde reportedly got real weird and inappropriate at a dinner for Harry's uncle Andrew's 53rd birthday. In addition to making out with him hard for "several minutes," the Prince's guest also spent much of the evening perched on his lap (just a few seats away from his…