Bruno was basically guilty of doing what everyone else up there does, only a little more so.

Here's what they actually nailed him on, though:

Bruno was convicted of count four of the indictment of taking 11 payments from companies for consulting work he never performed.

He was also convicted on of failing to disclose his participation in a partnership involving thoroughbred race horses.

Bruno was also charged with "depriving the public of 'honest services,'" which, once again, is vague enough to indict a State Senate quorum.

Bruno faces a maximum sentence of 20 years in jail and $250,000.

We already know Murray injected the anesthetic that killed the king of pop, but now Fox News has law enforcement sources saying that Murray is headed for the jailhouse. See, they're reporting on this shit already!

Nothing is good for ratings like good trial, and with all the kookery that went down inside the Jackson inner circle, this one is bound to be a doozy. The timing of the arrest is just subject to one final search warrant being executed next week at an L.A. pharmacy. It's still not clear whether creepy Conrad, who issued a YouTube video statement yesterday, will be allowed to surrender himself in L.A. or if he will be arrested in Houston where he is staying. Segment producers at CNN, MSNBC, and FoxNews all hope that wherever they track him down that he flees in a white Bronco down the highway. So do Marsha Clark, Kato Kaelin and Star Jones, who have nothing better to do than be paid commentators.

Dermatologist Klein—who some say is the father of MJ's children, and who tried to insinuate himself into their custody hearing—should also get ready for finger printing. The investigation into his specific role in Jackson's death is still ongoing, but we can expect to see him hauled to the clink in the next two weeks. And if he's already made all these fireworks surrounding the custody trial, just wait until he gets on the stand. It's going to be better than Phil Spector's wig trying on a black leather glove and screaming, "You can't handle the truth!"

Here are the fun "quirky Bernie" anecdotes that we've all come to love in every Madoff story:

• "Virtually every piece of furniture, equipment, or decoration was black or gray. That extended even to the pushpins in employees' cubicles. 'Bernie had the manufacturer just send boxes of black ones,' says Bob McMahon, a former employee."
• "Even while he was responsible for billions of dollars, it was not uncommon to see him dusting his office or the two-foot sculpture of a screw behind his desk. One staffer recalls getting off the elevator to find Madoff, clad in one of his innumerable tailored suits, on his hands and knees in the lobby, straightening the rugs so that they were aligned perfectly."
• "When Madoff was in the office, all window blinds had to be aligned at the same height, all computer screens had to be arrayed at the same angle and position, and on and on. So insistent was he on perfect alignment that, more than once, he dropped his trousers in the office — startling female employees — to ensure that the line of his shirt buttons was precisely vertical."
• "He decreed that e-mails would no longer be stored electronically. First he decided that each of the firm's e-mails would be printed and then stored in boxes, but he was persuaded by others that such a plan was impractical. In the end, Madoff ordered that old e-mails be transferred to microfiche, a cumbersome process that costs much more than archiving the records digitally."

And there is so much "oh god how could you fall for this you moron" material! In 2006, Bernie was all "oh I trade equities in Europe, yeah," to the SEC, and they were like "ok cool that works for us." Then he told them that his girlfriend, who he met at camp, lives in Canada.

As the market collapsed last year, the investment committee for The American Jewish Congress asked Madoff how the hell he was still making money. This was his actual answer: "I could explain it to you, Richard, but it's really complicated." Hah!

When people were saying "oh how could anyone fall for the hipster grifter, what a bunch of morons," well yes, sure, those boys were all idiot hipsters who kept what excuses for brains they could possibly claim in their pants, but the people who sent all their money, knowingly, to Bernie's magical "I want to give you impossibly consistent 20% returns with my mouth" factory are clearly just as stupid. Or, you know, criminal! Bernie's creepy Italian henchman sidekick dude is naming names!

DiPascali, according to this source, admits manipulating the returns of several clients, jiggering them up or down — phantom gains added or reduced — to suit their needs. Says the source: "This is a group of inside investors — all individuals with very, very high net worths who, hypothetically speaking, received a 20% markup or 25% markup or a 15% loss if they needed it." The investors would tell DiPascali, for example, that their other investments had soared and they needed to find some losses to cut their tax bills. DiPascali would adjust their Madoff results accordingly.

And no, no one will get their damn money back, because a lot of that money never existed. And now Bernie will be in jail forever, despite Steven Gyllenhaal's pleas. The end.

The tragically confused radicals took over NYU's student center in order to protest everything in the world, without consulting with the various organized groups on campus working on all the various issues they were protesting, and they hung out in the cafeteria for a couple days and then they all got arrested. Well, two of them were arrested.

This was apparently very terrible for NYU:

"The financial impact ... upon the university community is anticipated to be substantial," the letter stated, signed by Marc Wais, vice president for Student Affairs. "In fact, is expected to exceed $80,000."

All 18 students will be on disciplinary probation for the rest of their enrollment at the university. They also face several long-term consequences preventing them from taking leadership roles in student clubs and are prevented from serving as RAs, peer counselors, orientation leaders, peer ambassadors or student senators.

Oh no, they can't be peer ambassadors? Amusingly, a residence hall guard is quoted as saying NYU cares more about its property than its students: "NYU tells us that the building comes first, and the students second."

So now they've all been offered a deal: a one-week suspension that allows them to go back to class on Monday. Most of them will accept the deal rather than face a judicial hearing, because they're all counter-revolutionaries. Hilariously, the kids have pro-bono attorneys!

Now it's time to party!

Many of them were "ecstatic," according to Caitlin Boehne, a senior and a CAS student senator, who was not one of the 18 suspended students but was involved in the protest for the majority of the time.

"There's a party in Brooklyn tonight," she said.

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

"I think he couldn't handle the refusal," Audun said during the trial. Which must, you know, hurt to hear. From this, to picking up trash on New York City streets (after police found some 13 baggies of cocaine in his apartment), and peddling his wares at little bazaars, Georgie is just not having a great, well, decade.

The judge for the case advised Boy that he should be expecting some jail time, which would likely be around an 18-month stint.

So that's the news from 20 years ago, and from today.

"The eye patch-wearing star behind '80s rap classics like 'La-Di-Da-Di' and 'Children's Story' was a successful rapper when he was convicted of shooting his cousin and another man in 1991. Both survived.

"'Mr. Walters has fully served the sentence imposed upon him for his convictions, had an exemplary disciplinary record while in prison and on parole, and has been living without incident in the community for more than 10 years,' [Governor] Paterson said. 'I urge federal immigration officials to once again grant Mr. Walters relief from deportation, so that he is not separated from his many family members who are United States citizens, including his two teenage children.'" [AP]

"NEW YORK, NY - NYC Nightclub owner John "JE" Englebert of Prime nightclub and Suzie Wong Saki lounge is making an offer to Lindsay Lohan that she can't refuse. After feeling bad about the stolen mink coat scandal in a neighboring Manhattan nightclub, JE is offering Lindsay a new $11,000.00 blond mink coat and to settle the model's lawsuit against her.

Lindsay has always been a fixture and a party girl in his establishments and does not want her to catch a cold in this frigid start to the summer.

According to Mr. Englebert, "I know what it's like to have mistaken identity. Many times people take the wrong coat thinking that it's theirs at my nightclubs. I am offering to take Lindsay on a mink shopping spree with me, to have the coat of her choice. My motto has always been, "If the coat fits, buy it."

Of course, because most 24-year-old shop clerks don't have sixty-five grand just lying around, Avila never showed up with the money. So the other manager called the fuzz and the arrest was made. Such a pity that a young Kansan's dreams of the big city were so quickly dashed. Maybe he just couldn't afford his Manhattan lifestyle and was too proud to move to one of the boroughs? Or maybe he (justly) felt that Marc's prices were too high and was performing a bit of selfish Robin Hood-ing? We may never know, and Avila has been charged with grand larceny, meaning he could be looking at the low double digits as a sentence (though doubtful) if convicted. Crime doesn't pay! And neither does Marc Jacobs. Well, not enough, apparently.

Crime of Fashion [NYP]