Dogs are also excellent art critics.
Whenever I see someone walking their dog past the godawful sculpture collection at the southwest corner of Grant Park in Chicago called "Agora" by some Polish fraud claiming to be an artist, the dogs always give the best opinions of this alleged work of art: They piss on it!
Honestly, Hoffman dug her own grave with the phone number post. No writer of more than modest gifts would resort to that kind of silly-ass, fourth-grade bitchiness if she could string together a few sentences' worth of decent invective.
I now feel completely justified in believing her writing is total crap and I can tell my friends who recommend her books without hesitation that they are morons.
Oh, so THAT's your excuse? Brilliant! It's as if you're arguing here that this was a crime of passion, and that you should be tried in the court of public opinion on a charge of manslaughter, in lieu homicide.
Sorry, toots. You're an adult. Unless you were drunky-high at the keyboard, there is no excuse for blasting 25+ tweets into the ether berating a reviewer. Thankfully, the current media news cycle has the attention span of a gnat, so you can rejoice in the fact that SOMEONE will ef up shortly, and you'll be left alone.
Cheerios!
PS: You know what else? Can you imagine someone like Rimbaud giving the proverbial two sh*ts or a f*ck about what his CRITICS said? Man, I miss those balls-out, full-on literary freaks who just did their thing, period.
@snugbug: But some of us can easily imagine how this is analogous to a crime of passion, snugbug.
It often takes a while to construct a statement or analysis that one really means to stand behind. With that in mind, I figure everyone gets a 24-hour grace period for first-draft thoughts, which can be discarded or disowned at whim. Such an approach would work wonders in bringing sanity to this situation, wouldn't it?
Did anyone read the Entertainment Weekly post which referred to a Richard Ford interview where he admitted to having shot, with a gun, a bad reviewer's work? (Either the review of his book or reviewer's original work--unclear, when skimming at work.) The reviewer was Hoffman.
Ford then said, Now I don't read my reviews. Smart man.
@are friends electric?: I always say, "I'm sorry, I put myself before you and I also hurt your feelings and that was wrong of me," then I give them something delicious. The delicious part is pretty key--it seals the forgiveness.
I guess I'm just un-cultured, but I'd never heard of Hoffman before these last two posts and now I don't want to read her work. She called for her fans to help her, but she probably lost potential fans, too.
@mina324: Me too. I'd never heard of her before this. It's a good lesson to aspiring writers about how crap like this will overshadow their work if they're not careful.
@Jasper Lamar Crabb: Readers, wherevery they be found, are better than unfound, and I'll bet Hoffman has seen more of them from her Twit feed than her novels. I think I remember her from a signing at Walmart. Over there, home furnishings, over there, sitting alone and forlorn at a card table behind a stack of books, Alyce Hufferman.
09/01/09
Whenever I see someone walking their dog past the godawful sculpture collection at the southwest corner of Grant Park in Chicago called "Agora" by some Polish fraud claiming to be an artist, the dogs always give the best opinions of this alleged work of art: They piss on it!
09/01/09
I hope their co-dogs are likewise adorning the Dubuffets that litter downtown.
09/01/09
[www.nytimes.com]
09/01/09
How odd... I spent today making pigeon art....and pigeons were off making critiques of art... up is down etc and what not
09/01/09
You can also make critiques of pigeons, like the ones that won't get out of your way on the sidewalk.
09/01/09
Okay, the color composition aspect surprised me a little.
09/01/09
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06/30/09
Oh, so THAT's your excuse? Brilliant! It's as if you're arguing here that this was a crime of passion, and that you should be tried in the court of public opinion on a charge of manslaughter, in lieu homicide.
Sorry, toots. You're an adult. Unless you were drunky-high at the keyboard, there is no excuse for blasting 25+ tweets into the ether berating a reviewer. Thankfully, the current media news cycle has the attention span of a gnat, so you can rejoice in the fact that SOMEONE will ef up shortly, and you'll be left alone.
Cheerios!
PS: You know what else? Can you imagine someone like Rimbaud giving the proverbial two sh*ts or a f*ck about what his CRITICS said? Man, I miss those balls-out, full-on literary freaks who just did their thing, period.
06/30/09
It often takes a while to construct a statement or analysis that one really means to stand behind. With that in mind, I figure everyone gets a 24-hour grace period for first-draft thoughts, which can be discarded or disowned at whim. Such an approach would work wonders in bringing sanity to this situation, wouldn't it?
I mean, they're just tweets.
06/30/09
Ch-ch-ch-changes...
06/29/09
Ford then said, Now I don't read my reviews. Smart man.
Also much, much better writer.
06/29/09
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06/29/09
1. Give yourself a nice kick in the ass
2. Realize that everyone fucks up and laugh at yourself
3. Apologize simply and directly to the person(s) affected by your fuck-up-ery
4. Mean it
5. Apologize more broadly/publicly if necessary
6. Mean it
7. Laugh at yourself again.
People will see that you aren't a professional asshole, just someone who fucked up. Why is this so hard?
06/30/09
So in the meantime (heh), non-apology apologies are probably enough to stop the runaway train, at least.
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