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All That Sucks About Steve
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
09/06/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
"You look like a retired porn star!"

How could this movie NOT be great?
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MissNormaDesmond
09/05/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
Hahaha -- the subtitle to the Washington Post review of this movie is "Sandra Bullock is Wasted". This may be truer than they realize.
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GORDONGARTRELLE
09/05/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
I despise the Post, but Kyle Smith FTMFW,MF.
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alboy2
09/05/09

@GORDONGARTRELLE: Indisputable. When will Sandra Bullock learn to read a script?
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment alboy2 was starred alboy2 was unstarred

MsMuffinMcGuffin
09/05/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
Thanks for saving me the $12.50, Richard!
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jasonelias
09/05/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
I have no idea why Bradley Cooper is a lead in a feature film. Still can't wrap my head around it. Clive Owen, Gerald Butler, this fool, it's like Hollywood wants to lose money.
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MissNormaDesmond
09/05/09

@jasonelias: Someone was trying to save money and convinced themselves that he was a serviceable substitute for Josh Lucas or Patrick Dempsey or someone of that ilk. Someone was wrong.
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jasonelias
09/05/09

@MissNormaDesmond: Yeah, they're probably going to find out just how wrong this weekend.
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pushupbraaah
09/05/09

@jasonelias: Well, he's led two so far and right now has an average of about 60 mil per movie....
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MissNormaDesmond approved this comment pushupbraaah was starred pushupbraaah was unstarred

MissNormaDesmond
09/05/09

@pushupbraaah: You really think he "led" The Hangover? You think a significant percentage of the people who went to see that movie went because he was in it, and not because they'd heard the movie was hilarious? I'm so tired of the fallacy that actors are what make movies profitable.
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment MissNormaDesmond was starred MissNormaDesmond was unstarred

MincnglyWhrdL'mer
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
"jokes involve deaf children falling down a mine shaft" would be a pretty damning review, as a stand alone
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Mymoustache
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
I'm surprised it's not in 3D!
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment Mymoustache was starred Mymoustache was unstarred

MissNormaDesmond
09/05/09

@Mymoustache: Hey, "Up" was in 3D and it was awesome.
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God
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
This is what happens when women refuse to watch Pornography.
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment God was starred God was unstarred

MissNormaDesmond
09/05/09

@God: It's a privilege to approve Your comments.
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The_Lovely_Miss_Bronx
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
I was hoping this movie would be so awful that it was sublime (see "Showgirls" and the "Star Wars" prequels), but it sounds like it's just awful. Too bad -- I like Sandra Bullock. But I gotta say, Kyle Smith has been my favorite movie critic for the past couple of years -- he's mean, spot-on, and usually pretty funny. (Yes, I know he works for the NYP, but still.)

His finest hour came two years ago, when he reviewed Nic Cage's "National Treasure: Book of Secrets." He wrote it from he actor's perspective. Here's just the beginning:

"THIS is Nicolas CAGE. Remember when I used to make quiet movies for smart people? Things have CHANGED.
"National Treasure: Book of Secrets" is my latest LOUD movie for IDIOTS. It's another flick about maps, landmarks and buried treasure that makes "The Da Vinci Code" look like TOLSTOY. Remember how cleverly one clue led to the next in "National Treasure"? The sequel is more like CONNECT-THE-DOTS. And yes, I do continue to develop my HABIT of suddenly YELLING in the middle of a sentence."

I re-read this whenever I need a giggle. (Is that wrong? Perhaps I need help . . .)
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snugbug promoted this comment Edited by The_Lovely_Miss_Bronx at 09/04/09 10:34 PM

mharker
09/04/09

@The_Lovely_Miss_Bronx: Last night I was entertained by Roger Ebert's review of The Spirit:

"To call the characters cardboard is to insult a useful packing material...At one point, The Spirit takes three bullets in the forehead, leans forward and shakes them out. At another, he is skewered by a broadsword. Why, oh why, does he never die, he asks himself. And we ask it of him."

Nothing is wrong with you. I have a fondness for reading reviews of bad movies.
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment mharker was starred mharker was unstarred

snugbug
09/04/09

@The_Lovely_Miss_Bronx: Yeah, I'll promote anyone who hearts Kyle Smith. He's my total Republican crush. The funniest film critic, hands down. His review of that 3-D Jonas Brothers movie earlier this year was hysterical. And he published some of the choicest pieces of hate mail he got afterward on his blog.

His review of Blood Diamond is one for the books, too. I loved that movie, because it's so enjoyable in that retarded, throwaway Big Hollywood way, and I also love the hating review K Smith wrote about it.
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Spirit Fingers
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
Yah, I knew this movie was going to suck balls once I saw the sheep-shag wig Sandy was wearing. And you know, she, Cooper and Haden Church were on Bravo or something doing a junket appearance for this shite, and Bullock said all of two words the entire time, and her face looked like she was in abdominal distress. I'm thinking she desperately didn't want this movie to come out and ruin her Proposal high. She probably totally thought it would be shelved indefinitely or go direct to DVD, but Bradly Cooper had to get all Hungover and crap, so now she has to wear a shit-suit and tell everyone it's a ball gown. Just like with Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fucking Awful.
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Motoko Kusanagi
09/05/09

@Spirit Fingers: Thomas Hayden-Church and Bradley Cooper also seem utterly cowed by the lameness as well. They both come across as charmless, unfunny dolts in all the publicity I've seen them doing for this junk. The highlight was Norm MacDonald steamrollering Hayden-Church on Conan.
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maxandsampson
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
Honestly, something about the poster for this movie always makes me think that it's a horror movie. The menacing way she is wielding the knife (which at first glance I always think is some sort of sword) mixed with the shirt that appears to have large bloodstains on it always confuses me.
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment maxandsampson was starred maxandsampson was unstarred

MissNormaDesmond
09/05/09

@maxandsampson: Define "horror movie". I think I'd be thoroughly horrified by this movie, were I masochistic enough to see it.
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Cheruth
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
"In the end, we learn that crossword puzzles are popular because we all have an urge to fill in the empty spaces around us."

Then how do you explain the vast open spaces in the Mid-West snuggled in between the coasts, Movie??? How do you explain Alaska?
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment Cheruth was starred Cheruth was unstarred

Midwesterner in NYC
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
When a movie like this one comes out I always look when it was filmed. This started shooting in July... of 2007. Never a good sign when a film doesn't involve state of the art special effects. I'm going out on a limb and assuming this one does not include state of the art special effects.
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TheUptightMidwesterner
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
What deal with the devil did Bullock strike that she ended up with this movie? Anyone know?
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NigelAstydameia
09/04/09

@TheUptightMidwesterner: I thought marrying a creepy, unintelligible motorcycle guy was punishment enough.
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bess marvin, girl detective
09/04/09

In reply to All That Sucks About Steve
i had high hopes for michael bay and transformers 2, but alas, romantic comedies remain one of the worst written genres today. congrats bullock!
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Edited by bess marvin, girl detective at 09/04/09 6:37 PM

Banjo-Sea Kitten
09/04/09

@bess marvin, girl detective: can one really ever have high hopes for Michael Bay?
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MissNormaDesmond
09/05/09

Did anyone see the horrible, horrible, horrible "comedy" ads for this crapfest on Hulu? I wanted to physically punish whoever was responsible for those, and having seen them, knew beyond all doubt that whatever they were advertising had to be an abomination. And lo, it came to pass.
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