• Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning make out in The Runaways, and Dakota said they "were so into the scene." Dakota, who also co-starred with sulky Stewart in New Moon, continued: "It was passionate. We're playing Joan Jett and Cherie Curie and they're best friends in the film and became really close in real life. And that's something that went down back in the '70s." Actually, that's something that goes down now, too, but the bigger issue here is: Little Dakota Fanning grew up so fast! It seems like only yesterday Kathy Griffin was making inappropriate jokes about Dakota going to rehab, and now she's actually old enough to do such a thing, and to make out in movies, and do lesbian sex scenes, &c. [ShowBizSpy]
• 
  
• Joe Francis plans to file for bankruptcy today, because he owes the IRS $33,819,087.14, and while they wait for him to cough it up, they've frozen some $100M of his assets. Three issues of disbelief: (1) Why does this man have so much money? Yes, this comes up every time there is a story about Joe Francis' ungodly wealth, but it is necessary to keep saying it, lest we lose our grip on how wretched a world that rewards this man truly is. (2) He racked this debt up in three shorts years. Let this be is a lesson in the terror of IRS interest rates. (3) Does the IRS really need to specify down to the fourteenth penny in this case? You'd think that once you hit the $10M mark, they'd round to the nearest thousand or something. [TMZ]
• 
  
• Kirstie Alley says Conan "acts like I bit his dick off." During a twitter bitch-fest with Star Jones about how much they hate people who laugh at fat celebs, Kirstie nicknamed him "CONAN O'BITCH O'BRIEN" prompting Star to joke about "brothers from Brooklyn" who "wanted some" (I think. Between the typos and ellipses I'm having trouble making sense of this stuff. It's like decoding hieroglyphics.) and LOLs all around. [HuffPo]
• 
  
• Rihanna's dating again! She spent time with 90210 star Tristan Wilds in L.A. last weekend, and appreciates how he is "a real gentleman." Did we mention he's working on a CD? [NYDN]
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• Nicole Richie has been hospitalized for pneumonia. Richie skipped the launch of her Bebe jewelry line House of Harlow last week because she felt sick—did she already have pneumonia then? Are little Harlow and Sparrow okay? [ShowBizSpy]
• 
  
• This advice will help an entire generation of starlets: Pam Anderson explains how came clean to her kids about her sex tape with their dad. Anderson says she anticipated a new wave of interest following her cameo on Borat, so explained to her 12- and 11-year-old sons that videotaping sex is something that happens when you are "massively in love," which, for some reason, strikes me as kind of sweet. I always thought a cleaned-up Tommy Lee was the one meant for Pammy. [NYDN]
• 
  
• Suri Cruise threw a tantrum over a mink coat she saw in a store window. Katie Holmes said no, so Suri cried, and I am reminded yet again that this child's life is 800 times better than mine. [ShowBizSpy]
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• Robert Pattinson needs to learn which stories about rabid fans are funny and which just freak us out. In a taped interview with Ellen DeGeneres airing Friday, Pattinson describes how he once cajoled a female fan into getting naked in public. An autograph-seeker asked, "What can I do to get your attention?" and Pattinson replied, "um, just take your clothes off." The girl ripped her clothes off and "got dragged out of the room by security." Lest we think Edward Cullen a total perv he adds that he "never felt more terrible," it's just that he has a terrible sense of humor, you see. [People]
• 
  
• The patriarch of a family that received tens of millions from Michael Jackson to settle a molestation case committed suicide yesterday. Evan Chandler shot himself in the head in his home and was "extremely ill" with cancer, so it probably had nothing to do with Jacko, but the MJ conspiracy theorists will probably go nuts today, anyway. [CNN]
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• Erin Andrews' alleged peephole stalker has been charged with one count of internet stalking. Court documents reveal that he used the email address handsfouryou@yahoo.com, which reminds me of Mr. Hands, the guy who died of a perforated colon after having sex with a horse. This raises an interesting question: Who is creepier, Mr. Hands or Mr. HandsFourYou? At least the horse consented, sort of. Anyway, Mr. HandsFourYou gave his peephole video the file name "Erin Andrews Naked Butt," suggesting that his ability to foresee the consequences of his actions were as weak as Mr. Hands'. [TMZ]
• 
  

• Nearly three years ago, Lindsay Lohan scrawled "Scarlett [Johansson] is a bloody cunt" on a bathroom wall at the Dark Room on the Lower East Side. Allure finally asked Johansson about the incident: "I don't know what the motivation was behind that. I remember it was something really vulgar—I mean, shockingly so, like 'Whoa, what, who are you?'"
• Michael Jackson thought that sheikh from Bahrain sent him $7 million as "gifts" and not in connection with a record contract he signed. The sheikh helpfully wrote some songs for the singer to record. [Sun]
• Prince is being sued for $2.5 million for not appropriately promoting a perfume, as promised. [AP]
• Don't worry about Courtney Love's 60 blog posts in one weekend, she's not suicidal, she just had a "depression attack." [ET]
• Madonna's muscled, tightly-drawn skin might look gnarly to you, but it's worth $10 million to Louis Vuitton. [P6]
• Britney Spears sounds like she kinda misses her insane days, a feeling that is itself probably some kind of condition: "There’s no excitement, there’s no passion... It’s just like Groundhog Day every day." [Sun]
• Paris Hilton was all nuzzly with her Greek shipping heir ex-boyfriend in Miami. [R&M]
• Angelina Jolie was all exhausted from shooting her movie, and Brad Pitt looked tired too, so Jolie ended up talking about her dead mother and crying, at a press conference. Everyone was very sad but kept taking pictures The End. [Daily Mail]
• In a total non-publicity-stunt, Forbes named Suri Cruise Most Powerful Tot Under Age Five. That she's immune (at age two) from jokes about how this relates to her Scientology rank only adds to her influence. [Hollyscoop]
• Britain's Daily Mail in retracting a story about David Duchovny supposedly having a six-month affair with his tennis instructor. [People]
• Heather Locklear was formally charged with driving under the influence. Police said she was under the influence of prescription drugs only. [X17]

• Madonna has her own Kabbalah counselor on staff to help her deal with her anger at soon-to-be-ex husband Guy Ritchie, who is just a terrible gold digger or something. A gold-digging famous movie director who hangs out with Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. It's sad, really.
• Peaches Geldof was seen getting "friendly" and "especially chatty" with a rocker-not-her-husband. I can't tell if this item is supposed to be implying cocaine abuse, infidelity or both. [P6]
• Page Six calls the woman who did Sarah Palin's media training, a "top... presentation coach." In what regard, Postie? [P6]
• Rachel Ray on John McCain making ribs: "He was so passionate about the cooking process that he was militant. He has specific rules about everything!" In defense of John McCain, these fascist cooking rules might just be basic sanitation and safety and so forth. It is Rachel Ray. [R&M]
• Tom Cruise may show up at Matt Lauer's roast and be glib. [OK!]
• Miley Cyrus' dad Billy Ray told her not to get distracted from he career by her relationship with that male model Justin Gaston. She told her dad she needs her own apartment for, uh, "movies and,,, popcorn" with friends. Definitely not for premarital sex, which is a sin.
• Angelina Jolie is talking about finally marrying Brad Pitt. Her six hundred kids are talking about her finally marrying Brad Pitt. The only person not talking about her marrying Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt.
• Screw up an Ugly Betty cameo and you will never work in Hollywood again. Just ask Lindsay Lohan. [Scoop]

• Britney Spears gave her first sit-down interview in two years to OK!, which will publish its piece Friday. The singer also made some fairly charming promos for the MTV Video Music Awards with show host Russell Brand, the British comedian.
• Billy Joel's wife had the gall to try and approach Gwyneth Paltrow at a Hamptons fundraiser and didn't even make it past the front door to the house where Paltrow was hanging. You can blame Calvin Klein's ex-wife for the whole sad situation. [R&M]
• Scarlett Johansson is threatening to make another album, but only after the actress directs her first movie, so you can exhale now. [Showbiz Spy]
• Angelina Jolie doesn't mind grabbing a role intended Tom Cruise, especially if it means she gets to play a CIA officer running from false charges of being a turncoat. [The Insider]
• Donald Trump will thank you not to try and his exploit his good name for your stupid law practice or whatever. And he's pretty sure you're wrong about the legality of such behavior. [P6]
• If you want to come to Playboy Mansion parties, you damn sure better be ready to have your picture taken, because — hint — Playboy is a magazine. Otherwise, you're liable to be thrown off the premises by five security guards. Jason Statham has just learned this lesson. [P6]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's honeymoon involves a party in Sagaponack and a farm in East Hampton. [P6]

IS Katie Holmes trying to deep-six her career? Sources close to soon-to-be Mrs. Tom Cruise say Fox Searchlight Pictures wanted to include her name for a possible Oscar nod on the screener of "Thank You for Smoking" sent to Academy members - but Holmes' camp "respectfully declined" the offer. The movie had caused a stink with Cruise because of Holmes' nude scenes, which were snipped after just one screening.

If true, we'd argue that the self-snubbing was a savvy move; her "camp" has probably generated considerable goodwill from her peers by refraining from asking them to relive the unconvincing, uncomfortable sex scene that is the centerpiece of her performance. In fact, if her handlers are interested in promoting what's left of her career, they should perhaps issue alternate screeners of her work in The Gift, reminding potential co-stars and employers that there once was a time when they might not have been crippled by cognitive dissonance by the sight of a half-naked Holmes engaging in intercourse with a man of normal stature.

In other Holmes-related snubbing news: Oprah Winfrey, supplier of the world's most famously abused couch, did not make the Holmes and Cruise's short list for their wedding. In lieu of sending flowers, please make a donation to one of Oprah's favorite charities as an expression of your sympathy. Also not going: Holmes ex Joshua Jackson, ensuring the affair will contain as few reminders of long-lost romantic normalcy as possible.

• NO, THANK YOU [Page Six]

Just imagine rubbing shoulders with notables Robert Scoble, B.L. Ochman, and "blogpreneur" Jeremy Wright. I am overcome with chills of excitement — dare I say "blogcitement" — over this blogference full of blogstars.

I mean, not only do you get to meet these people, you get to hear them lecture on electrifying topics:

- Choosing and Developing Content
- Blog Metrics
- Business Applications and RSS
- Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and Monetization
- Return on Investment

Core areas of knowledge for everyone in blogdom, and a completely appropriate set of topics for discussion on a cruise ship sailing from Fort Lauderdale, Florida to Cozumel, Mexico.

Blogonomics cruise! Tons of fun! Bring the kids!

*cough* Include Valleywag's affiliate ID and earn $50 off Valleywag's cruise ticket. *cough*

Blog Cruise [Blogonomics]