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posts about #cults more →
Xenophon v. Xenu: The Galactic Battle for Australia's Soul
Moonie Times Collapsing
Scientology Revelations: 'Presentation Drills,' Beatdown Offerings, and Tom Cruise's Audit Sessions
Extreme Mormon Sect Member: It Wasn't Rape, It Was 'Spiritual Marriage'
Tom Cruise's Wedding Cook Exposes Scientology's Scary Retention Practices
Now You Can Make Money When a Celebrity Bolts from Scientology
Tommy Davis: Scientology's New Angry, Unstable Pitchman
Moon's Last Mass Wedding a Success, Moonie Times Says
Vintage Oprah Video Reveals Schlocky Roots
Scientology Thwarted (For Now)

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adiam7
11/18/09

In reply to Xenophon v. Xenu: The Galactic Battle for Australia's Soul
Where are the Scientologist that got on me last time? I feel neglected. The Xenu walls are tumbling down
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BadUncle
11/17/09

In reply to Xenophon v. Xenu: The Galactic Battle for Australia's Soul
When will Mel Gibson and his church take on Scientology? It would be at least as entertaining as Mothra taking on Hedorah. #xenu
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Banjo-Sea Kitten
11/17/09

@BadUncle: requesting extra bloodshed please! #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@BadUncle: When Sodom met Gomorrah. Begorrah.

PS - it's tomorrow morning over here. And this is all over the news. Because Senator Xenophon spoke in Parliament (hence, the 'parliamentary privilege' bit), he can say pretty much anything he likes and be free from defamation prosecution. Our defamation laws are far tighter over here than in the States (freedom of speech laws aren't protected by the lovely amendments you have), and this has discouraged many former Scientologists from speaking out.

On another matter, it's Spring here, for those of you who have trouble with the whole dateline/Southern Hemisphere thingo. Not that this has anything to do with Scientology. #xenu
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BadUncle promoted this comment DevilsAvocadoRedux was starred

BadUncle
11/17/09

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: So, it's "tommorrow" and "spring." You live in the future. Do you have a jetpack? #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@BadUncle: Yes. And a flying car. And robots to do all the dirty work. Which is great.

Also, we copulate through thought-waves. This latter development is not so great. #xenu
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limber
11/17/09

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: My futuristic Kiwi cronies assure me everyone travels around in giant inflatable balls and monorail bike systems. On the downside, everything smells of bad eggs.

Or maybe that's just Rotorua for you. #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@limber: "Monorail... monorail... monorailllllll".

I have heard that all New Zealanders HAVE giant inflatable balls. #xenu
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limber
11/17/09

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: I couldn't possibly comment. Besides, they always did a good job distracting me with luxurious, feathery mullets. #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@limber: They do a very good mullet over there, I must say. Sometimes referred to as a Maori mane. #xenu
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BadUncle
11/17/09

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: the giant balls would go a long way to explaining the Haka. #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@BadUncle: Oh - you're good.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Haka, see the following, and think about giant balls whilst you watch... #xenu
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
11/17/09

@limber: I can assure that everything you have heard about us is true. #xenu
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limber
11/18/09

@Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith: And you're a lovely, welcoming people at that... But I STILL can't get my head around the Rotorua love. "Culture Capital"? "The smell's healthy"? I just... sigh.

I will admit to zorbing, and going to that sheeopodrome thing. But then headed back home to Welly, where the wind might knock you over, but at least it's due to gusts, not stench. #xenu
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
11/18/09

@limber: I actually live in Wellington now, and as someone who grew up not far from Rotorua (next town over, actually), I am always amazed at the double image that town pulls off. It's a tourist mecca for all things 'ethnic' and geothermal, yet the crime rate and living conditions of a disproportionate number of its citizens is abysmal. Ever read Once Were Warriors? Yeah, somewhat unsurprisingly, the author grew up there.
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Spirit Fingers
11/17/09

In reply to Xenophon v. Xenu: The Galactic Battle for Australia's Soul
HA! Representative of country spawned by criminals calls new entity now residing in said country... criminals.

All kinds of ironic and Joeys! Because, really, Joeys.
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Benny
11/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: ...Grrr. #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: SF - perpetuating crude stereotypes? Surely not, my friend. Next you'll be cracking jokes about New Zealanders and sheep. #xenu
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m4ximusprim3
11/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: outrage and whatnot!

Also: here, joey joey joey! #xenu
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Spirit Fingers
11/17/09

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: Really? I am? I just sorta like Joeys. And anyone fighting with Scientology is hilarious and so very Sci-Fi, especially someone named Xenophon, and, yes, well, the whole criminal thing is true isn't it? Sorry if I offended.

How can you really be upset, though? There's an American real estate agent (Tom Cruise look alike in the photo there) running Scientology. Take all the free swings at us (America in general) that you like. Seriously.

Here, have more Joeys in pouches. Wheee!
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m4ximusprim3
11/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: is this some sort of kangaroo nursery? Are they orphans? #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: Me? Offended? By you? Never, you great big Falcor, you. Crack as many convict jokes as you like. I have skin as thick as a wombat's hide. All that criminal blood served simply to strengthen our hybrid vigour down here.

I guess here would be where I'd insert the smiley-face emoticon. But I have a Pavlovian response to emoticons that usuallly results in copious quantities of chunky, bile-filled vomit. So, instead, here's lots of kisses for you and your joeys...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx... #xenu
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Spirit Fingers
11/17/09

@m4ximusprim3: Something good the Australian government is doing. Apparently some mama kangos don't always survive the frequent bushfires, but the government has developed programs saving the Joeys so they don't starve and become dehydrated.

Yes, poor babies, but good on the Australian gov, for taking care of them. #xenu
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m4ximusprim3
11/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: Wait, but how do the Joeys survive the brushfires? And why don't the moms just do what the Joeys do? #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@m4ximusprim3: Lots of them also survive car crashes where their mums are squished, but they're cushioned by the fluffy pouch. Never let a kangaroo behind the wheel of a car. #xenu
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Spirit Fingers promoted this comment DevilsAvocadoRedux was starred

Spirit Fingers
11/17/09

@m4ximusprim3: I think they're mostly rescued. Not sure why the mamas aren't as lucky. If I had to guess maybe the pouch is their protector and also serves as a source of nourishment from the mother, thereby they survive. That is, if I'm remembering 9th grade biology correctly.

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: Thanks, lovey. Emoticons! Hell noes. Just slit my throat like an Australian bandit why don't ya? Heh.
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Edited by Spirit Fingers at 11/17/09 4:54 PM Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred

m4ximusprim3
11/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: I see. They're like little Luke Skywalkers, shielded from the elements by the Taun-Taun that is the charred mother Kangaroo.

Working at that place would be such a sweet job. #xenu
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AzureTexan
11/17/09

In reply to Xenophon v. Xenu: The Galactic Battle for Australia's Soul
More to the point, if Aussies spell it "organisation," then why not "embesslement?" The mind bogglez. #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@AzureTexan: We don't like 'z' over here. Nor Scientologists, or so it would seem. #xenu
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AzureTexan promoted this comment DevilsAvocadoRedux was starred

AzureTexan
11/17/09

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: Cool! An Aussie! This Web thing really is World Wide, ain't it.

P.S. The biggest reason we like the "Z" stateside is because, in Scrabble, we get 10 points for using it. Also, there's Zima, every American's favorite elixir. #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@AzureTexan: Makes sense.

We also have a fondness for 'u'. As in 'colour'. #xenu
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Benny
11/17/09

@AzureTexan: Ah, the source of many an Australian scrabble feud. According to Wiki, the ratio is 3:1 in favour of using 's' over 'z' within Australia. So 'z' spelling should technically be allowed, as it's used a quarter of the time. However, try telling that to your competitors.

As for the spelling of favour/favor? I think it would be remiss to ditch the 'u'. Rules are rules. #xenu
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AzureTexan
11/17/09

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: Ah, but therein lies the problem. The 'U' is worth only one point. Then again, if you get it in conjunction with the 'Q,' you can do some Scrabbtacular damage. #xenu
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AzureTexan
11/17/09

@Benny: Wow! I haven't had such a Scrabblecentric conversation since the last time I lived with my Mom! (Perhaps we should talk about whiskey, engines and shotguns now.) #xenu
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m4ximusprim3
11/17/09

@AzureTexan: It sounds like your mom covers a wide range of conversational topics.
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AzureTexan
11/17/09

@m4ximusprim3: Quite a woman, my mom — and a good speller! #xenu
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Benny
11/17/09

@AzureTexan: Your Mum sounds like a whole lot of woman.

That's right. Mum with a 'u'. #xenu
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AzureTexan
11/17/09

@Benny: "whole lotta woman. . . "

Another Aussie reference? Back in the day, during an AC/DC concert in my hometown, I reached out and touched Angus Young's left shoe.
I reckoned it made me an honorary Aussie, and I've kept on believing it. #xenu
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DevilsAvocadoRedux
11/17/09

@AzureTexan: Good God. Front and centre in an AccaDacca mosh-pit? And you lived to tell the tale? ColOUr me impressed. #xenu
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AzureTexan promoted this comment DevilsAvocadoRedux was starred

AzureTexan
11/17/09

@DevilsAvocadoRedux: True. And get this. I had a 102 temperature at the time. In all my years on this great Earth, I've known no prouder moment. #xenu
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Benny
11/17/09

@AzureTexan: I will trade you my citizenship if it means I can work in the States fulltime. Deal? I currently have to leave every three months and it's a total drag on my bank account. #xenu
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Benny
11/17/09

In reply to Xenophon v. Xenu: The Galactic Battle for Australia's Soul
Ugh. Once again the CoS manage to respond in the worst way possible and perpetuate the impression that they are inhuman monsters.

'Disgruntled former members'? They are disgruntled because your deranged pseudoscientific rituals killed their kids. Express some sympathy, wish them well, and move on. Try some good PR for a change.

Stop pretending you don't have a problem and start pretending to address it. #xenu
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jwiggy
11/17/09

@Benny: How is falling down the stairs after wandering around dying from a "pseudoscientific ritaul"? #xenu
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Benny
11/17/09

@JohnKong: I was referring to the kid who died during purification rundown. I shouldn't have used the plural. #xenu
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OliversArmy
11/11/09

In reply to Moonie Times Collapsing
Could be worse Preston. I mean, it's only a paper, Moon. #washingtontimes
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Aatom
11/11/09

In reply to Moonie Times Collapsing
My wonderful but politically misguided father got me a subscription to the Times a couple of years ago, and I always enjoyed reading the batshit insane headlines before chucking it into the trash. But! You also get the FREE perk of being put on every god damn freeper mailing list in existence, and my neighbors probably think I'm some sort of ex-pat militia member at this point. Damn you, Moon! #washingtontimes
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Helio
11/11/09

In reply to Moonie Times Collapsing
Are we still operating under the assumption that the Washington Post is the liberal opposition to the Times? The WaPo (or maybe just the editorial page) seems like it's positioning itself to fill the neo-con void and I'm more than prepared to completely ignore their bullshit as well. The Weekend is still pretty legit but otherwise, the cord is nearly cut. #washingtontimes
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adiam7
11/12/09

@Helio: They are neo-con for sure. They let that failure of a human being Jendayi Frasier write an op-ed that made cancel everything with them #washingtontimes
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adiam7
11/11/09

In reply to Moonie Times Collapsing
I was at an event at the Council on Foreign Relations ( John Kerry) and it was opened up to questions. Reporters were sitting in the back. Except one, Barbara Slavin from the Washington Times. She was sitting with that awful Congresswoman Harman. I noticed it because all the other questions came from the back. Even stranger was Congresswoman Harman asking Sen.Kerry a question as well as if she couldn't kick with him on the Hill. It was very odd because she asked her question (really 3) after it was announced that these would be the last questions taken. I put her in my Moonie category that day. #washingtontimes
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Go Like Hell Machine
11/11/09

@adiam7: I've read this three times and can't follow what you're saying, which is a shame, because it seems interesting. #washingtontimes
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Hiroine Protagonist
11/11/09

@Go Like Hell Machine: Moonies own Congressperson Harman. #washingtontimes
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adiam7
11/12/09

@Go Like Hell Machine: Sorry, I will try to explain it without any shortcuts. I went to an event at the council on foreign relations in DC. John Kerry was speaking , he had just gotten back from Afghanistan. The reporters were all sitting in the back , they had to. It was marked media. The room was small. All the questions came from the back, except this one lady Barbara Slavin who got up to ask the question, but she wasn't in the media section . She was sitting next to Democrat Congresswoman Harman. The Washington Times has been quite supportive of Harman through her possibly criminal involvement with those Israeli spies. i know this is really confusing. My point was that no other media- there were some heavy hitters there- sat in anywhere near the front. The second weird thing was Harman asking Sen. Kerry a question , like a reporter would. The mediator said these will be the last 3 questions and Harman raised her hand. She then asked 3 questions in one, they were not friendly questions either. I thought it was odd since I am assuming as Democrats in foreign relations committees albeit in 2 different houses of congress, she could ask him whatever questions she wanted at some other time. I think those questions were for the benefit of the Washington Times. I hope this makes some sense #washingtontimes
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Magister
11/11/09

In reply to Moonie Times Collapsing
I've actually wondered that because there aren't as many people becoming Moonies as there were before, replenishing his coffers, how long the Rev would continue to drain his fortune. #washingtontimes
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lanthewignom
11/11/09

@Magister: I wrote a book about this. It turns out the Moonies are doing just fine in the cash department, mostly by separating Japanese widows from their cash. Google "spiritual sales."
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Magister
11/11/09

@lanthewignom:
It's been so long since I've met any Moonies and television cults have gone all Waco, I figured that after the market crash, he'd be running out of funds.

I didn't think about globalization and how it could bolster religious empires. One world, indeed. Thanks.
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Edited by Magister at 11/11/09 8:20 PM Magister was starred Magister was unstarred

TheBusinessGuy
11/11/09

In reply to Moonie Times Collapsing
Don't worry: Fox News will expand to fill the crazy void. #washingtontimes
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DennyCrane
11/11/09

In reply to Moonie Times Collapsing
Twenty bucks says Murdoch buys it. #washingtontimes
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Magister
11/11/09

@DennyCrane:
My money would be on Richard Mellon Scaife.
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Edited by Magister at 11/11/09 6:56 PM Magister was starred Magister was unstarred

raincoaster
11/09/09

In reply to Scientology Revelations: 'Presentation Drills,' Beatdown Offerings, and Tom Cruise's Audit Sessions

Scientific proof. #scientology
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Mount_Prion
11/08/09

In reply to Scientology Revelations: 'Presentation Drills,' Beatdown Offerings, and Tom Cruise's Audit Sessions
He's invoking Tom Cruise to be physically intimidating? Aren't people on stilts usually present for more humorous occasions? #scientology
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missdelite
11/08/09

In reply to Scientology Revelations: 'Presentation Drills,' Beatdown Offerings, and Tom Cruise's Audit Sessions
My high school TC crush is now officially over. #scientology
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jasonelias
11/08/09

@missdelite: Heh heh... #scientology
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