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I CAN HAZ MASTURPEESUZ
A Context-Free, Comment-Free Review Of Contemporary Art, With Suggestions
Things I Did On My July 4th Vacation: hit up The New Museum's Younger Than Jesus exhibition. It's a contemporary art exhibit showcasing only artists born after 1976. It ends today. Here is what I saw, presented without comment.
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culture
Metropolitan Museum Still Humongous
The Metropolitan Museum of Art laid off 357 people today. This will save them $10 million—$28,000 per layoff. They still have 2,200 employees. Several uncultured questions: More » -
the cinema
Lars Von Trier Is the Best Ball-Banging Director in the World
Recently two films have shocked the world with graphic depictions of violence followed by acts of sex: Bob Dylan's Beyond Here Lies Nothing and Lars Von Trier's Antichrist. Coincidence or zeitgeist? You decide. More » -
culture
Midtown NYC Is The Home of 'Buzz!'
If there's anyone who grasps the secrets of cultural "buzz," it's Spatial Information experts employed in academia. There's a new "Geography of Buzz" map that scientifically proves that "buzz" is centered...where events are held. More » -
sad
Elevator Music Deemed Unaffordable Luxury
This cruel Grim Reaper of an economy has gone too far. It came for magazines. It came for books. It came for banks. But now, it has come for our Muzak. More » -
politics
Celebrity Lobby Seeks to Infiltrate White House
McCain couldn't beat Obama by painting him as a celebrity. He is a celebrity, and people love it! But other celebrities are getting greedy now. They're trying to work their way into the Obama cabinet. More » -
theories
History of the American Economy as Told by Hip Hop Videos
Did you know that hip hop videos have been scientifically proven to subtly embody everything you need to know about the state of US popular and political culture? Proof in four easy examples: More » -
trendwatch
Have You No Shame, America?
A German billionaire killed himself after hefty stock losses. A French money manager committed suicide after losing billions to Bernie Madoff. Is shame confined to the Old World? More » -
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american apparel
American Apparel Successfully Swallows Its Ad Spoofer
All subversive things in our culture must eventually be co-opted by the very things that they subvert. It's the American way. The American Apparel ad spoofer—who had a months-long run of fame for creating super-porny ripoffs of AA ad posters (which eventually turned out to be Photoshop fakes by the people at Stereohell)—has now become the subject of an actual American Apparel ad. In Vice magazine, naturally! Click through for photos of Dov Charney's victory over artistic mockery:
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culture
Small Businesses. Our old friends at Losanjealous happened to spot two signs posted around Melrose, usually stacked and taped to telephone polls, advertising : 1) a lonely L.A. Public Library employee who's recently made a little money on the side with a self-publishing business, and 2) a rare first edition of a comic book by Wolverine's very own adamantium-fortified little girl, entitled Super Hello Kitty Girl's Adventures I Love My Daddee. Also available: Taco Bell, The Smurfs, movies. Call now! [Losanjealous] -
conde nast
Fancy Conde Nast Not So Fancy Any More
Prepare to die, entitled Conde Nasties! Conde has always had a well-deserved reputation as the most opulent and self-important of all magazine publishing companies. Those days are coming to an end. The (gender-neutral!) diva culture that spawned The Devil Wears Prada and a million young aspiring media people who thought that a magazine employee could live the lifestyle of an investment banker—it's all on the way out. We come to bury you, Conde Nast culture, not to mourn you. Contemplate this, special ones: you may soon be forced to travel in (and pay for) common taxi cabs, like the poors! And it gets worse: More » -
disney
Has Disney Infected Your Cool Lifestyle?
Jesus Christ, while you weren't paying attention Disney has been busy insinuating itself into every niche of your consumer lifestyle. Do you consider yourself a fashionable person with fancy urban tastes who would never be caught dead wearing the winking Goofy sweatshirts and Tinkerbell baby-tees that are so popular in America at large? Better check your labels. Disney is determined to be included in your style, at all costs! More » -
all the young dudes
Let's Get Rid Of This Whole 'Bro' Idea, Shall We?
You know what was sort of fun? When like around the year 2000, comedies about men stopped being about complete fucking idiots and the sassy exasperated women who love them and became comedies about slovenly yet lovable dudes who may chase the muff around, but in the end really just want to fall in love. They weren't the most progressive of films, but they were funny (Wedding Crashers, Old School, etc.) and at times endearing (40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up). But you know what isn't fun? The odious culture of Bro that Daily Intel is righteously angry about that sprang up like a nacho-cheese-smelling weed in the newly tilled field of gender studies created by these films. More » -
facebook
Facebook Proves People Are All Alike (Dumb)
Islam people: they're just like us! They go on Facebook and start groups and then spend hours and hours arguing with each other over bullshit. Except they're arguing about, like, god, instead of The Hills or whatever. You thought that the battle for Arab hearts and minds was playing out in the slums of Iraq? No, it's all about some upper middle class grad student nerd in Egypt talking shit online! More » -
dolly parton
It's Dolly's World, We Just Live in It
What do you call a party with a huge proportion of women with huge proportions, bleached blond hair and garish makeup? If you picked: "Just Another Night in Hollywood," or "Just Another Night at the Strip Club," or "Just Another Night in My Bedroom," take a number and go to the back of the line. Rather, the party in question —held at the appropriately named World of Wonder gallery on Hollywood Boulevard— was for a very specific, large-proportioned, bleached-blond beauty. No, not Jenna Jameson. This would be someone with actual talent, not to mention a huge gay following. OK, fine, I'll tell you. Dolly Parton! More » -
new york times
NYT's New Media Desk Omits NYT Media Star
The New York Times announced today that it's (finally?) starting a dedicated Media desk. The beat has been split between the Business and Culture sections, but now the paper is pulling a dozen reporters together and moving them to the third floor—the floor between the other two sections, and where the top Times editors now sit. Symbolic! It's all about "convergence," they say. But why now? And, look who's not going to be assigned to the Media desk: More » -
the germs
Shane West Should Know Better Than To Smile At A Germs Show
Hello, class. Welcome to Punk Rock 101. Today's lesson is about the seminal LA punk band the Germs, who are finally getting thanks to a new biopic called What We Do Is Secret (playing for the rest of this week at the Nuart). For those of you who are not familiar with the band or why they're deserving of a movie, here's a quick cheat sheet. The Germs made history because they were A) completely insane and B) their singer, Darby Crash, committed the self-mythologizing move of killing himself back in 1980. Unfortunately, he happened to pick the day before John Lennon was murdered to intentionally overdose on heroin, so most people didn't even notice. More » -
barack obama
Barack Obama Art Exhibition Stops Off In L.A. Wondering Who's 'Got Next!'
I can't remember any other politician in recent memory who has inspired artists as much as Barack Obama. From the moment I saw the Shepard Fairey "Hope" poster, I knew that Hillary Clinton's presidential bid was toast. Just as she had inspired t-shirts eight years ago that gave an indication she was gaining enough buzz to enable her to win the Senate seat, I knew that Obama had captured the imagination of the general public when his visage turned into iconography. More » -
Gjelina
Gjelina is the Brangelina of Restaurants: Pretty, But Ultimately Kinda Empty
You know the night is not going to go smoothly when your frazzled blonde waitress still hasn't brought your wine out, despite the fact that it's been 20 minutes since the second time you checked in on it. Thanks to this oversight, now your bladder is full from drinking water and you're about to eat the table because the only reservation you could get at this hot shit new place was 9:30pm. Welcome to Gjelina, a new eat local, small-plate, outrageously trendy restaurant which soft opened on Abbot Kinney on July 20. The chef, Travis Lett, did time at Tengu, and the general manager, Robert Schwan, comes from the stellar Japanese locale Wabi Sabi. More » -
julia allison
A Ballsy Take On Julia Allison
Julia Allison posted the first new, original, non-intro video to her website venture Non Society! It's decently edited and more entertaining than a lip dub, if blatantly commercial. But that's not what this video is. It's a new parody of the lifecasting startup, albeit harrier, nuttier and significantly more disturbing than the last. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. You might recognize some of the cast! [NomSociety] -
andrew krucoff
Andrew Krucoff Wins The Culture War
Ladies and gentlemen, the proud new owner of the FSU Middlebrow Remix Version of Keith Gessen's All The Sad Young Literary Men is Andrew Krucoff—the former "Gawker Mascot" once fired by Conde Nast for leaking to this website. He was also recently called a "pussy" by the author in question, Keith Gessen! You can see the circle of life turning, turning. So what will become of this coveted and (we daresay) historic volume? All can now be revealed:
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Downtown Art Walk
The Downtown Art Walk Review (In Which I Pretend I Know Fuck-all About Art)
As an ex-New Yorker who is brand spanking new to L.A., the concept of downtown being a dead zone is quite strange. And having only driven through late at night (going the wrong way, on a one-way street, natch) I was curious to see what an L.A. downtown art walk would be like (held every second Thursday of the month from 12 to 9). Art Walks in Seattle’s Pioneer Square were fun, but were too often filled with "Look ma, I has knitted you a rainbow hat!"—a/k/a bad hippie art. And the Chelsea Art Walks in NYC were impenetrable and thick with snobbery and unintentional comedy: rich people wearing all black, posing seriously in front of pictures with their heads cocked just so to the sides. L.A.’s version proved to be far more pleasant and interesting—exhilarating even. Won't you join along as I take you on a photographic tour? More » -
culture
Meet the Shack
The $7 hot dog has new competition at Shea Stadium: the homey slurry of deliciousness that is Kozy Shack pudding. "Kozy Shack, which is based in Hicksville, N.Y., is trying to position its products as a healthy alternative to the foods that most people look forward to at a ballgame." Since it's a mixture of cream, sugar and eggs, a baseball stadium is probably the only place that Kozy Shack is, by comparison, healthy. Custard-skeptics argue that "Walking into a game, that's the last thing that I'd want." These people have never experienced the raw pleasure of spitting tapioca pearls through a straw at people 3 rows in front of you. Kozy Shack will continue to give out free pudding one day each month through September. The next pudding day is July 25. Let's hope Kozy Shack has invented a flavor in orange and blue by then. More » -
sloane crosley
OMG Sloane Crosley Totally Loves Us
Sloane Crosley, author, popular publicist, self-effacing autobiographer, HBO series subject, gossip monster assembler, big ass chronicler, partygoer, and etiquette specialist has a new video interview out, and damned if she's not commenting on us and the rest of the "snarky urban jungle." Whoa, you write about somebody 27 times and all of a sudden it's like they can't stop talking about you. It's okay though—she thinks all this vicious online gossip is a net positive(!), a view that I tried to get across to Keith Gessen at his party, without success. Perhaps he will be persuaded by listening to his pal Sloane! Watch Crosley explain why she tolerates Gawker and its commenters, but Village Voice readers made her cry, below: More » -
george packer
Too Soon for Iraq Dramas?
Why isn’t George Packer’s terrific little play Betrayed — about the three pro-American Iraqis who don’t quite get what they need from America – not doing better? (It opened in February at the Culture Project in Soho, extended its run for a bit, but is slated to close on June 16.) Maybe because he’s too good at his day job: Betrayed is based on one of Packer’s lengthy Iraq dispatches for the New Yorker, and his natural audience might have simply said goodbye to all that after the original piece appeared in March 2007. But is it still “too soon” to render Iraq as anything other than journalism? Yep. For starters, the war has to be over first. More » -
Fan Looks
Dueling Fan Looks: The 'Sex'er Vs. The 'Flight'er
The LAT undertakes an important sociological mission today, highlighting the basic costuming differences between two very different breeds of obsessive fanperson: The Sex and the City fan and the Flight of the Conchords fan. While one group leans towards unabashed label-whoredom and pricey slingbacks, and the other towards Little Joy-friendly ironic hipsterwear and All-Stars, they manage to find some common ground in the category of animal prints—though in SATC's case, they're covering Dolce & Gabbana cocktail dresses, and in FotC's, they're literally paying homage to the the ironed-on wildlife prints adorning Bret's sweatshirts. More » -
defamer
Is Hollywood's Favorite Cemetery Bankrupt Forever?
Hollywood Forever Cemetery—that beloved local necropolis where in one visit you can pay your respects to Don Adams and Mel Blanc, have a picnic, then catch an outdoor screening of Shampoo with a couple thousand of your closest friends—is in jeopardy, friends. Noting that the atmosphere has become significantly less relaxed for visitors in recent months, LAist did a little further digging, and learned that Brent and Tyler Cassity, the charismatic brothers from Missouri who rescued the celebrity graveyard from years of neglect, are now under investigation for suspicious business transactions involving prepaid burials at their Midwest locations. From the St. Louis Dispatch: More » -
advertising
Asian People: Interchangeable
State Farm ran this painfully ordinary ad recently showing a happy Asian couple holding a baby, posed in front of their typical suburban home, voicing thoughts about saving money on insurance. Perfectly tedious. But Multicult Classics finds another version of the ad—same house, same car, same happy family pose—featuring a different (Filipino?) couple. They're also thinking about insurance! People have always said that all Asians look alike, but really; not even a different stroller? Below, both of the ads: More » -
bears
Meathead's Gay Marriage Statement
This just in—an official statement from Rob Reiner on today's history-making California Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage: More » -
real estate
Queens: The Brooklyn Of Brooklyn
Middling Queens neighborhood Jackson Heights (whoa now, Queens residents) is taking on fancy Brooklyn writer's enclave Park Slope in some provocative ads! "More Park Less Slope" they say, mystifyingly. "Queens Is The New Brooklyn." They also made themselves a neat little "JH" logo shaped as a man resembling Mr. Peanut. Break out the checkbooks, home buyers! Jackson Heights is preferable to Park Slope, based on arrogance levels alone. But the established lowest-to-highest rankings of NYC boroughs (Staten Island- Bronx- Queens- Brooklyn- Manhattan- Philadelphia) will never change. Bigger picture of the aspirational ad, after the jump. More » -
gays
We Do!
DING-DONG! DONG-DING! The rainbow-colored smoke has emerged from the chimney atop the California Supreme Court. The Court bells, each recently adorned with a giant portrait of Dave Beckham and Posh Spice, are sounding. For it's official! Same-sex couples in our glorious, seaside state have the right to be wed! We know you have questions, so we went directly to the Defamer special correspondent on Legal Fine Print Accompanying Totally Fabulous Rulings to answer them: More » -
defamer
'NY Times' Riles An Already Grumpy, Taco-Deprived Population
Metromix L.A. posted an angry—and justifiably so, we'd say—response to a NY Times piece from earlier in the week about the movement to save L.A.'s beloved taco trucks, currently endangered thanks to new city ordinances that would limit where they can do business. (The article begins, "Los Angeles, loath to rally cohesively around a local cause, has joined hands around tortillas," and continues to paint a portrait of an apathetic community who only manage to rally when the fate of their al pastor-access is in danger.) Decries Metromix: More » -
culture
Remembering A Simpler Time, When Electronic Checkers Were Just Fucking Checkers
Apropo of nothing save the fact that it's nearly quitting time and this is the funniest fucking thing we've seen in as long as we can remember, we offer you just a taste of the mightygodking.com blog's treasure trove of Atari 2600 cartridges, "discovered at a garage over the weekend." Who knows why we were squandering our youths on War and Night Driver, when we could have been delighting to the high-flying exploits of Gay French Mario Bros.? (And as an aside—we just noticed the striking symmetry between these covers and those of that other formative interactive entertainment of our youth, Choose Your Own Adventure books.) More » -
culture
The Return Of The B-Boy
Discussion: break dancing—cool, embarrassing, or some mixture thereof? A new film called "Planet B-Boy," opening tonight in New York, takes a look at break dancing across the globe—the type of thing that could spark a revived cultural moment for the niche urban phenomenon, like "Spellbound" did for spelling bees. The Times gives it a fairly positive review; the New York Sun kind of pans it, but what do they know about B-boys? I always considered them to be fun to watch, but not something I would ever personally become. Will we soon see nouveau break dancing battles across Soho and Williamsburg as the form gains a brief, ironic throwback popularity? Or will it remain consigned to circles in Union Square and Rock Steady anniversary parties? After the jump, the movie's trailer, and a clip from LOZ—the best b-boy crew that I ever saw up close—in action. DC stand up! More » -
the american man
Different Sports For Men: Should We Fear Them?
Alarming reports in the national media today are painting a picture of an America in which men pursue nontraditional sports. Such a development could spell doom for football, baseball, and basketball, the three real sports that this great nation has produced which define manhood for millions of terrified young adolescent males who would really rather be playing Wii or listening to music or doing something artistic, but are instead forced to prove their mettle by getting seriously injured by their larger peers. This is how it has always been. But now, American males are being seduced by the twin threats of gymnastics and synchronized swimming. We have video evidence, and the chilling cautionary tales, below. More » -
crazy-american apparel
Spandex-Clad Robertson Rollerblader's T-Shirt Line Draws Ire
Kudos to the Wall Street Journal for profiling an atypical celebrity of sorts this morning: John Wesley Jermyn, better known as "The Crazy Robertson" or "The Robertson Dancer" to locals. Jermyn, onetime draft choice for the Kansas City Royals and a fixture for years on the southern tip of the celebrity-drizzled slice of Robertson, has over the course of two decades made a name for himself by doing one thing and doing it better than anybody else: dancing on rollerblades in riotous sheer spandex outfits. More » -
defamer
Hugh Grant bought an Andy Warhol painting of Liz Taylor in 2001 for $3.6 million, which sold at Christie's auction yesterday for $21 million—less than the $25 million it was valued at, but still a tidy profit of over $17 million. Those sums were dwarfed, however, by Lot 66401: Suri's First Poop, which took in a staggering $147 million from a private collector in Southeast Asia. [timesonline] -
defamer
The Grove Prepares For Hollywood's Most Festive, Prefabricated Christmas Celebration
This weekend prior a team of seasoned workers ascended a wooden ladder into the stuffy, cramped Attic at The Grove™, deftly maneuvered around a few dozen leftover boxes from Forever XXI (How did those get up here?), navigated the gloom to a particularly dusty, cobweb-laden corner and eventually returned - multiple times - with some hundred-dozen of boxes of Christmas decorations in their arms. Yon decorations are an essential part of what has become the single greatest commercialized Baby Jesus experience afforded Los Angeles shoppers in the last decade, if not century: CHRISTMAS AT THE GROVE! After the jump, read General Manager Jackie Levy's friendly missive on the preparation of the Vegas-sized spectacle, then sing along to a photo gallery of the stunning Yuletide transformation that will eventually result in the mall fountain's dancing waters being replaced by streams of liquid gold, frankincense, and myrrh ejaculated skyward in perfect time to "O Little Town Of Bethlehem": More » -
cultcha
The other day we went to American Ballet Theater at City Center. Jorma Elo's "C. to C.," set to Philip Glass's A Musical Portrait of Chuck Close, premiered on October 27th and is probs the best dance piece we've seen in years. Principal Marcelo Gomes (pictured!), so masculine yet sensitive! Julie Kent, such a cougar! Misty Copeland, vastly underrated soloist who should have been made a principal a long time ago.




























