Landman's been at the NYT nearly two decades, and was one of the only heroic figures of the Jayson Blair saga—it was he who urged the paper to fire Blair long before the scandal broke. His warnings were ignored at the time.

To the Staff:

After much deliberation, and a fair amount of not-even-in-the-ballpark speculation from Times-obsessed kibbitzers, we have a new culture editor to replace Sam Sifton. He is, I'm delighted to announce, Jon Landman.

Like the appointment of Sam as our new restaurant critic, this is one of those no-brainers that nonetheless requires some explaining because of the broader implications for the newsroom.
After more than four years overseeing the integration of the print and Web newsrooms and the spectacular flowering of journalistic innovation that accompanied it, Jon yearns to get back to running coverage, to refresh his roots. I doubt anyone will question that Jon brings to the Culture Department a strenuous intelligence, an inspiring vision, a gift for getting the very best from people and — no small thing as our competitive landscape shifts — a keen appreciation of what culture journalism can be on the Web. He spent a transitional year presiding over the department, implementing a sweeping overhaul of the department and grooming new leadership — including Sam Sifton — before he moved to the digital job. We interviewed a number of candidates, and were happily reminded in the process of the wealth of talent in our midst. But we're pretty sure the other candidates would agree that Jon Landman will be an extraordinary culture editor. That's the no-brainer part of the announcement.

While we're on the subject of Culture, we would like to tip our hats to Amy Virshup, who has kept the department functioning at its customary high level in the weeks since Sam moved into vacation and tastebud preparation mode.

We have, of course, given intense thought to what this means for our digital journalism, which is so vibrant a part of our present and so central a part of our future. Our belief is that this is a moment to complete the integration of the newsroom we began five years ago.

As the deputy managing editor for digital, Jon has worked to bring down the psychological barriers, bureaucratic impediments, and we-don't-do-things-that-way attitudes that separated the cultures of new and mainstream newsgathering. He has been a tireless champion of new ways to reach and engage our audience — journalism by unconventional means. He has advocated the full partnership of digital and print, journalism and technology. He has brought us an enormous distance toward the goal of a single, versatile, journalistic multiplex.

But not quite all the way. In proposing this change, Jon made a strong case that, in the next stage of integration, the support and promotion of this new kind of journalism must become more fully the responsibility of the newsroom's top leadership — me, Jill and John. He reminded me that in the original proposal for an integrated newsroom — May, 2005 — I insisted that it is not enough to create new advocates for Web journalism within the NYT newsroom; the newsroom would be truly integrated only when the top editors took as much responsibility for our digital journalism as they do for the more traditional kind. We've stopped a little short of that ambition, in large part because we had Jon to defer to and depend on. We'll have more to say on this important subject, but the main thing to say now is that Jill and I, in particular, see this as time to rearrange our priorities and devote more of our bandwidth to digital journalism.

Jon will not be extracting himself from the Web, not by a long shot. He will, of course, be deeply engaged in the Web as culture editor. He will also be part of a new advisory group that will work closely with me, Jill and John, counseling us on the continuing development of Nytimes.com and assuring strong advocacy of innovative ways to touch our audience.

Best,
Bill

[Pic via]

An apocalyptic, borderline Mad Max sculpture by two guys who go by AIDS-3D. The center of the sculpture was a tower with the words OMG inscribed on it in lights. It originated as a GIF image file, at one point, they say. Interview with them here.

Someone sleeping in a bed, in the middle of the museum. Chu Yun, the artist, "supplied" his subjects with sleeping pills and the bed. The sleepers were being paid $10 an hour to sleep in the museum. Yun's previous work has included putting a woman with down's syndrome in a chair, in a gallery.The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Artist Guthrie Lonergan's Myspace Intro Playlist, in which the artist remixed a bunch of MySpace intro videos. It is not intended to be funny, according to the arist.

This video of rival street gangs in Belgrade fighting, scored to a trance techno track.

Three very large banners, one of which advised me: "DON'T PAY TAXES."

A installation with videos by artist Ryan Trecartin. The room had discarded Lay-Z-Boys and part of an airliner's interior on the side of it. I also remember seeing a shelf with sand on it, and a BlackBerry in the sand. Here is a Ryan Trecartin video. I'm simply incapable of describing its contents: The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

The remnants of an art project that took place on the first floor of the museum. There was a bunch of cardboard paper, unfolded boxes, and various other "construction" scraps lying on the floor. There was a small TV in the corner depicting in fast-forward the artist and her friends, building a replica of Rome in 24 hours, and then destroying it. From New York's art critic Jerry Saltz's review of the show:

The first night, I watched kids fashion the altars and temples of Rome's archaic period; by the next morning, when I returned, they'd been destroyed ("by fires," said the artist), and I spied the beginnings of Classical Rome. Just before the opening, the whole city was again wrecked and left in ruins, as the Dark Ages began. Glynn is saying she's not going to listen to the bromides that assert that change takes time.

An 8-bit videogame called FlyWrench by artist Mark Essen. You use an original Nintendo controller to control a line going through different colored shapes: The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

The laid out contents of three people, from whom Chinese artist Liu Chuang offered to buy everything off of their person for display in a museum. One included a cell phone, some pictures of themselves, and of course, all of their clothing.

A rotating spiral staircase on a platform, entitled: Nothing Is True, Everything Is Permitted, Stairway Edit.

Photographs of adults acting out Second Life and video game scenarios.

One of the gallery attendants, wearing a white 80s tracksuit with bloodstains on it. There was a card for it; this was part of this exhibition.

The last thing I saw before leaving was a banana peel on the floor. I couldn't tell if it was part of the show or not, and I didn't bother to check.

Okay, so, some comment, and some context (I lied! Getting you past the jump: it's an art.):

I'm by no means an educated art consumer or art critic, which is why it's probably safer to read Jerry Saltz's assessment of this thing for an actual, critical appreciation. The video game was fun. The message advising me not to pay taxes was nice. But: a woman was sleeping in a bed, in a museum. I'm often advised by people who know more about art than me that much of the point of this is to ask: is it art? Don't get me wrong: as you can tell by the publication you're reading this on, I'm all about the subversive (or painfully obvious) art of fucking with someone's sensibilities. But how does one get into the position to be able to put someone sleeping in a museum and call themselves an artist? Do you have to be embedded in the art scene? Well-established? Anyway. Maybe this makes me a conservative yokel without any kind of appreciation for the more intelligent "pleasures" of life. Or maybe it just makes me someone who went to a museum and "didn't get it." On that note, however, here are some ideas for the next time the New Museum goes at something like this. I submit them in sincere pursuit of the advancement of art and human civilization's ability to express itself:

• Me, sitting in a papasan, smoking a bong, eating sandwiches of various origin.
  
  
• A bounce-house full of puppies, while House of Pain's "Jump Around" is blasted on repeat in the bounce house. This will be at a frequency the dogs can't hear.
  
  
• A full-scale replica of Waffle House installed on the roof of The New Museum, with a staff imported from a Waffle House currently in operation somewhere in the Southeastern United States. The only thing you can't order will be bacon.
  
  
• A four year-old melting plastic toy soldiers with a blowtorch.
  
  
• A New York City MTA official punching himself in the face every hour, on the hour. He will have a stack of unlimited Metrocards in his pocket that you don't know are there.
  
  
• A drawing of me drawing a drawing, drawn by something that is not ordinarily asked to draw. There will be a new one each day. We will start with a parakeet and move forward as such.
  
  
• A coffee stain.
  
  
• This painting of pancakes on Nick Denton's head.
  
  
• A performance-art version of Gawker where I go around screaming at people on the Bowery and handing out gold stars to the ones who scream back something interesting. Any of the ones trying to correct my grammar get summarily executed or "banned."
  
  
• A Starbucks gift card with exactly one cent less on it than is required to buy a small cup of coffee.
  
  
• A pillow filled with marmite, accompanying a down comforter filled with nutella, and a mattress filled with english muffins.
  
  
• A giraffe named Mercedes.
  
  
• A puppet show performed exclusively by people who hate puppets.

That is all. Oh, and this:

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

The Generational: Younger Than Jesus [New Museum]
‘Jesus' Saves - God bless the New Museum's tantalizing triennial. [New York]

• What do 2,200 people do for the Metropolitan Museum? Even with retail stores and traveling exhibits and, you know, people to write the little captions on the museum things? This is a serious question. Please contribute answers in the comments.
• So they laid off the low-earning schlubs. If they laid off the high-earning schlubs they would save more money, no?
• Seriously even if you had 100 security guards and 200 art history experts and 100 janitors and 100 fundraisers and 100 construction workers and 200 retail workers and 100 tour guides that is only, what, 900 employees, what do these other people do? Please answer, thanks.
• Isn't the real problem this whole "suggested donation" idea?

In Antichrist, the new Lars Von Trier movie, Willem Defoe's balls are banged and then Charlotte Gainsbourg jerks him off until he cums blood. (Lane Brown describes it much "better" but I thought the quicker you read that without dwelling the better.) That's a weird thing to do and also not very nice (at least the first half). Defending himself to an angry journalist Von Triers said, "It's the hand of God... And I am the best film director in the world. I'm not sure if God is the best God in the world." Needless to say, Maradona and the entire nation of Argentina objected.

Then there's Bob Dylan whose video of a hot girl being beaten up (and also beating up) a balding man (played by Eliot Spitzer!) then kissing him passionately, was a partnership with the Independent Film Channel. Whatever happened to the Dylan from Nashville Skyline? That guy was so sweet!

So! Here's the question: why all of a sudden are middle-aged to elderly white men interested in depicting women perpetrating violence against men and then either handjobbing or kissing them? Is it a function of the bleak economic landscape or perhaps, Kink's MeninPain.com has finally penetrated popular culture.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Planning experts from USC and Columbia set out to quantify this elusive "buzz" that you hear so much about. And their effort is very cool, in its own way. But their methodology was this: they "mined thousands of photographs from Getty Images that chronicled flashy parties and smaller affairs on both coasts for a year, beginning in March 2006." They categorized the photos, put their locations onto a map of NYC, and there you have it—you can actually see where the buzz is.

It's in midtown! And Chelsea and Soho. These are the centers of buzzworthy culture in NYC, you see, because it's where the most events were held that attracted photographers from Getty Images. Brooklyn, the L.E.S., and other places you may have erroneously suspected of having buzz, by contrast, do not actually have any buzz.

If you believe that buzz is defined by celebrity-heavy event locations, then this is the final word on it. [NYT, Spatial Information Design Lab]

Muzak Holdings has filed for bankruptcy. The picture is grim: "Its total debt is between $100 million and $500 million and it has assets of less than $50,000, Muzak said in a court filing."

This is not just the beloved creator of the elevator music which soothes us in our ride skyward. It is also the beloved re-recorder of instrumental versions of popular hit songs, and the beloved customizer of brand-specific playlists designed to cater to your company's specific customer base, with the intent of pushing our subtle psychological buttons and encouraging our acquisitiveness with the power of tunes. If companies are no longer willing to pay for Muzak, what will entertain the shoppers of America as we browse?

Maybe the radio.

UPDATE: Muzak media relations person Brittany Lyke writes us:

I'm writing on behalf of Muzak to address some misinformation you posted on Gawker.com. We understand that the AP misstated our financial information and have reached out to them for a correction. Updated, accurate financial information has since been reported by Bloomberg and the New York Times.

Simply put, our picture is not grim. Unfortunately, debt that was incurred a decade ago came due at a very challenging time, which limited options that would have ordinarily been available to an operationally healthy and profitable company like us. Our revenue has increased significantly over the last few years, so today's economy didn't have an impact on our situation from a subscription perspective.

Our creditors understand that we are operationally sound and are confident in our ability to continue the trajectory of success we have worked hard to establish. The Chapter 11 filing is simply a means to formalize the restructuring of our outstanding debt, and we intend to remain in business for a long time to come

.

She also says she's a "serious Gawker and Jezebel fan" so let's hope she remains employed for years to come.

Quincy Jones, that perennial "music industry heavyweight" who does vague things, is rallying celebrities to his pet cause: convincing the new president to institute a cabinet-level "Secretary of Culture" position. European countries have them! And you know who might be a good pick for the position? Some celebrity! Like Quincy Jones, maybe. It's quite possible that this would be a great idea and the motives for supporting it are pure. But can Obama afford to be perceived as soft on art?

Artists of every genre were part of the new team's campaign, and are highly visible additions to the inaugural festivities. In a recent interview on "Meet the Press," Obama, a best-selling author who has Jay-Z on his iPod, said that his White House would have room for "jazz musicians and classical musicians and poetry readings."

Clearly this will not fly in times of crisis. It's not gonna happen. The more sinister dynamic is the idea that celebrities may become the new power lobby—the Halliburton execs of the Obama years. They supported him. Now they're coming to collect their payment. Culture in the cabinet! Pickup basketball games with Michael Jordan on the White House lawn! Private modeling sessions from ScarJo! Before you know it Jay-Z will agree to lead the president's council on Hip Hop in Schools but only if Obama agrees to a cameo in his new video, and the leader of the free world has no time for governing because he's off doing trifling unimportant things, like Bush, except with more black people.

Luckily we know that celebrities will be a far less successful lobby than oilmen, because there is nothing for the government to hand out right now. [WP]

MODERN DAY: Homeboy Sandman, "Lighting Bolt"
UNDERLYING MESSAGE: With a nation in financial crisis, this is no time to spend wantonly on fancy special effects. Let's just celebrate the fact that we're all here, together, on the subway, and elsewhere.

1997: Biggie, Puffy, Mase, "Mo Money Mo Problems"
UNDERLYING MESSAGE: Money ain't a thing. There is so much of it to go around, our problems are concerned with how much of it we have, rather than our lack of it. America will rule the world forever.

1993: YZ, "The Return of the Holy One"
UNDERLYING MESSAGE: Times are hard. I spend most of my time standing on piles of urban rubble, in simple clothing, sometimes holding a handgun. Nevertheless, I believe we must all unite to overcome this horrific, post-apocalyptic crack-ridden hellscape.

1990: YZ (same dude!), "Thinking of a Master Plan"
UNDERLYING MESSAGE: Reagan is gone, and now it's all about consciousness, togetherness, and the struggle for freedom. Makes me want to dance! Sure, George Bush #1 sucks, but Mandela, worldwide freedom fighters, etc. Holding a handgun and standing amidst piles of rubble couldn't be further from my mind. [Note: YZ is off the hook regardless].

[Note #2: Homeboy Sandman is my main man]

If Alexandra Penney is any indication (note: poor example), the American response to losing tons of money is to become a hilarious blogger. And why not! Over here we generally have a national understanding that money comes and goes, and if you're not wagering more than you should on bets that are too risky, what kind of cowboy are you? Losing money is not the sort of thing we're ashamed of. We're more angry. But no guts, no glory, etc. Big swinging dicks! Greed is good! Bet the farm! Let it ride!

Elsewhere shame seems to be felt much more deeply. Hell, Merckle surely wasn't likely to have gone hungry even if he did dissolve his entire financial empire. Rene-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet, the French hedge fund guy, was so ashamed of losing other people's money with Madoff he felt he had to off himself. It's safe to say most American hedge fund guys would be relieved they lost someone else's money.

And the Japanese! Shame is an essential business skill over there. So much so that Sen. Chuck Grassley figures we need to emulate them, or something:

“I’ve suggested it wouldn’t be a bad thing that the leadership of these [US] institutions would take a Japanese-style approach to corporate governance, and I’m not talking about going out and committing suicide as some Japanese do in these circumstances, but I am talking about scenes I’ve seen on television where in belly-up corporations the CEOs go before the board of directors, before the public, before the stockholders and bow deeply and apologize for their mis-management."

Good luck! All groveling in American business is done with the strict subtext that it's not sincere. They'll apologize, but don't ask for more than they're prepared to give, or fuck you, they're calling the lawyers. Does the US have a shame deficit? Do we need to be more like these guys? Should losing tons of money be considered a morally horrible act?

Nah. Unless you're an actual morally repugnant criminal like Madoff, losing money should be its own penalty. There's not need to press it. And there's certainly no need to kill yourself over it. Save that for the terribly embarrassing revelation of some sexual proclivity that doesn't fall squarely in the Puritan mainstream, okay.

[Stereohell via Copyranter at Animal]

The Condé Nasties are expected to get a memo from CEO Charles Townsend telling them that Town Car use is being cut way back.

On top of that, the hardworking assistants who used to be able to get the company to pay for working lunches at their desks will no longer have that luxury.

Further, the glitzy publisher that used to give virtually everyone carte blanche when it came to magazine and newspaper subscriptions is cutting that perk out, as well.

Yes, soon we will see hungry Vogue assistants trudging from their Dorito crumb-strewn desks, down to 6th Avenue to hail a cab driven by a foreigner, with whom they will have to have a conversation, because of their conspicuous lack of a magazine to read. We can't wait. And please send us this memo when you get it! [NYP]

The Death Star-like company is branching out, launching "exclusive" fashion lines that are only sold at upscale stores, home furnishings, and other products designed not for those people who love Mickey Mouse. Repeat: you may own a Disney product that does not have Mickey Mouse on it.

But now the company also sells $3,900 designer wedding gowns — no characters in sight — and women’s cashmere sweaters “inspired by Tinker Bell.” Interior design offerings include $2,800 leather club chairs and $6,000 chandeliers patterned after the Art Deco décor in Mr. Disney’s former office. One of the company’s new products: couture soap.

Ironically, just as Disney is loosening up and letting some designers do "edgy" things with its trademarked icons, it is itself being sued by an LA clothing company for allegedly stealing an edgy Tinkerbell t-shirt design. Hey, Disney is the one who's supposed to sue everyone else for stealing their images! What's going on here?

Don't make us draw you a map, people. Disney needs new markets, and they've decided that those markets are YOU: the cool, the fashionistas, the city slickers, the hipsters, the sophisticated adults. Buyer beware. [NYT]

I mean look: there are now books like Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo Of Dude Talk and a social networking site called BroBible that allows dudes to "share stories of weekend revelries and exchange tips on romantic endeavors" (so basically, eHighFiving about Jaeger and pussy). There's also The Foggy Monocle—a site we admit to sometimes enjoying, except when there are posts like this. And, as the coup de grâce, there is the Brody Jenner reality program, punnily called Bromance. It's just gone too far!

Beer and farts and pretzels and bikinis and boorishness and messy rooms and unwashed hair and sloppy Band of Brothers-isms and all that is sort of endearing for a bit, but the minute it becomes so hyper-commodified like this, co-opted by big ol' marketing strategies, it, like so many other trends, becomes so epically embarrassing that I can barely bring myself to admit that a book called The Bro Code even exists. But what's the corrective for it?

I mean, is the bro-ness blowback from the cult of Ladybusiness that was heel-clacked and button-snapped into existence by Sex and the City? Will this dudenami eventually ebb back into the sea of the gender war, and we'll have another placid few years of mild Friends-ian sexual dynamics to apathetically contend with? At this point, I sort of hope so. Because if I hear one more thing about guy code (even though it is used in the hilarious It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) or bro-ness, I just might have to get all up in your face with hilariously clueless karate moves or like a little kid with glasses or an Asian chick or something. You know, something that's bro-funny.

Actually funny bro-ness:

Beneath the hum of an air conditioner in Cairo's upper-middle-class neighborhood of Heliopolis, Amr Ali, a dental student who is a devout believer, sits in his bedroom and types furiously on his Facebook page, We the Muslim Youth Can Change This World. The quest has become so consuming that Ali's father, an orthopedic surgeon who worries that his son might be unfairly tagged as a radical by security forces, disconnects the family's high-speed Internet line during exams.

"Secular and atheist groups are posting on my group, accusing Islam of promoting terrorism," said Ali, a slight man with rimless glasses whose Facebook group has nearly 22,000 members. "I'm very surprised at all the secular Facebook groups out there. I'm concerned. They are young people and they are lost, following misleading slogans. Some of them are totally against religion and all the prophets."

Really, why do we have wars? The LA Times has thousands of words today about the Islamist vs. Secular battle amongst Muslims on Facebook. On Facebook! This ideological struggle that will rend our world for generations to come blah blah blah is really just as ridiculous as everything we put on Facebook. Like so:

Let us unite in our common idiocy.

[LAT]

Co-curated by E! Online columnist Marc Malkin and Steven Corfe, the Dollypop exhibition featured over 40 artists, all of whom answered their call for Dolly art with a certain fervor. "We were actually surprised actually how responsive people were when we just told them, 'Dolly Parton,'" said Steve. "There's a lot of closet Dolly fans out there."

Of course, an event such as this inspires people to pay homage. So, it was appropriate that we were greeted by a Dolly Door Girl.

Inside, we were seeing double and triple Dolly's.

There were even look-a-likes for other celebrities who seemed to have gotten lost. There was a Rick James look-a-like, and a Sophia Loren dead ringer that had us completely confused for five minutes.

James St. James interviewed some of them for his show on WOW TV. (I thought I was hallucinating and seeing New York club kid Richie Rich's body double, and then, realized OMG, it kind of was Richie Rich's body double!)

No detail went unnoticed. Pink champagne (what else?) was served.

Some guy with a contraption on his head was hanging out and taking in the Dolly art. [Ed. Note - That's the TMZ "Dollhouse Dude".]

These dudes just turned up. I'm supposing this is just par for the course in Hollywood.

Did I mention, there were roosters?

"We rented them!" said Marc Malkin, brightly.

Malkin and Corfin have been working on the show for about six months. But Marc insists he's not obsessed.

"I'm not obsessed!" he says. "I know some people would say I'm obsessed since I did a show. But I'm not a crazy kooky travel around the world type. I just love her."

Steve points out: "Yes, but he has butterfly tattoos!" (Butterflies=Dolly fan).

"But they have nothing to do with her! They don't!"

Suuuuuurrrrre.

Malkin bought a piece by Jason Kronenwald; you'd never know it looking at it, but the piece is made entirely with chewed up pieces of bubblegum. This is not gross and is, in fact, quite beautiful. I failed to capture a proper photograph. I am sorry, dear readers.

Dolly's iconic look serves as easy fodder for artists. Her big, open grin, bright blue eyes and blonde hair, make it easy to pull off optical illusion pieces such at this one. (Different cosmetic items comprise her face).

Her infamous visage lends itself to other icons and iconic homages. So we got Dolly as a stand-in for other icons.

Dolly as Elvis:

Warholian Dolly:

Dolly as Lisa Marie in Marrs Attacks and Dolly as Glenda the Good Witch:

Other pieces were less pop and more poignant, like this blue Dolly:

Other pieces tried to play with her own iconographic visual language, instead on transposing her to something else.

Scott explained Dolly's universal appeal, thus: "It's the fact that she sooooo fake and nipped and tucked and bewigged and made up and yet so real."

The Times' most visible media writer and newly minted authorial rock star, David Carr! We've emailed NYT Culture editor Sam Sifton for an explanation.

Regardless, this has to be interpreted as a move that assigns more importance to the media beat. The Times currently gives over the bulk of its Monday business page to media stories, and there's no indication that that will change. The selection of that page's editor, Bruce Headlam, to head the new desk is a major promotion for him. A united media beat, though, will presumably be better able to coordinate its coverage so that it's competing every day of the week—which will become ever more important as the Wall Street Journal continues its own transition into a general-interest, business-friendly paper. The WSJ's media coverage is heavy on marketing, but it is naturally the Times' biggest competitor for the most important media stories.

The full memo from the Times:

Colleagues,

Convergence is the biggest story in media and entertainment today.
Hollywood studios are investing millions in online television, people
are reading newspapers on their iPhones and bloggers and YouTube are
turning even presidential election campaigns into homegrown affairs.
By the end of the decade, we might all be watching 'Lost' on our
shoephones.

Accordingly, we are doing some convergence of our own, and today
announce the birth of a new and expanded media desk for The Times,
joining reporters and editors from Business Day and Culture under one
banner to cover media news for both desks.

The affable Canadian Bruce Headlam, currently the editor of the Monday
edition of Business Day, is the obvious man to lead such a team. He
will be joined by Rick Lyman and Steve Reddicliffe off the Culture
Desk, and a dozen reporters taken from both departments. (Jennifer
Kingson, who has helped Bruce elevate media coverage as Bruce's deputy
in BizDay, will take a new editing assignment on her home desk.) Bruce
will report to both Larry Ingrassia, the business editor, and Sam
Sifton, the culture editor. The new media desk will be located on the
third floor — equidistant from both parents — and it will feed the
news needs of both, as well as the feature wells of Sunday Business
and Arts & Leisure, among other outlets.

So without further ado, please meet (and congratulate!) your new New
York Times media reporters:

Tim Arango
Brooks Barnes
Bill Carter
Michael Cieply
Stephanie Clifford
Stuart Elliott
Richard Perez-Pena
Motoko Rich
Jacques Steinberg
Brian Stelter
Ed Wyatt

We look forward to seeing those names all over A1, as well as on the
dress pages of BizDay and The Arts for many years to come.

Larry Ingrassia
Sam Sifton

Flash forward nearly 30 years. In order to support the film's release, three of the original members of the Germs (including former Nirvana/Foo Fighters guitarist Pat Smear) have been playing shows around town with Shane West, the ER hunk who portrays Crash in the flick. I saw one of the shows the new-and-improved Germs played this weekend, and I'm here to answer a few pressing questions, like: Did they suck? Did Shane West suck? Would people bleed? How hot was Bijou Phillips?

There were quite a few of 30-something ex-punks in the crowd at the Echo Saturday night that wanted to find out.

To answer the question I posed above, no, they didn't suck. In fact, they are probably better now than during their heyday in the sense that they can actually play their instruments and they are able to finish an hour-and-a-half set without destroying the entire venue, falling down from abusing too many substances or bleeding profusely on stage.

However, this presented a bit of a conundrum for the fans. The seminal LA punk band was "good" precisely because they were bad. Their gigs were famed for the way they destroyed the stage and incited near-riots. The fact that they could barely play their instruments just added to the air of excitement, danger and unpredictability of a Germs show. So, when compared to this lofty standard, the 2008 iteration wasn't exactly bad, but they certainly weren't punk rock. Though, they tried.

Pat Smear still rocked it.

These kids were totally in to it.

There was stuff scrawled on Shane West's (deliciously rock-hard) stomach. I have no idea what it said, because I was too distracted counting his abs.

West went for some Jack Daniels realness.

West's hotness, however, did not serve him live. To compare West's two performances— in the film and on the stage— is an instruction on what makes an actor a compelling person to watch on film, versus what makes a live performance transcendent and visceral.

Another guy had a more succinct solution."You know what would be totally punk rock?" he announced to no one in particular, "If someone would just punch him in the face. Like, bust his nose." He pounded his fist into his hands. He meant it in a totally nice way. What he meant, is that West was too Hollywood pretty for a punk band. Especially considering the fact that he committed the worst of Punk Rock Sins. He smiled. There is no smiling at a Germs show!

In fact, they were all smiling.

So was Bijou Phillips, who played Germs bass player Lorna Doom in the flick. She spent the duration of the show dancing like a go-go girl on the side of the stage, leading my cohort, an entirely naive and innocent 20-year-old fresh off the boat to LA, to ask, "Why was there a Calvin Klein model on the stage the whole time?" I had no plausible answer for him.

• What We Do Is Secret

You have mercilessly beaten out your friends, your girlfriends, your boyfriends, your brothers, your sisters and every one you have loved...

Try everything once: Pilates, squash, open mic night, tantric sex. What do you have to lose? When you risk everything, you have anything to gain...

Laws are nothing but restrictions: break every one you possibly can...

Pain is weakness leaving the body. That ache in your muscles? The ripped papers? The taste of blood on your lips? The broken condom? The fatigue in your bones? Those are the victories. Life is a beautiful game and you sure as hell are winning...

Boys and Girls, there are no rules to this game. Someone crosses you? It’s BURN BITCH BURN...

This is the death of dynasty. The authorities may make the rules, they may think they have control, but we cannot forget we are Princeton. We are her blood and her bile. And we are the generation they have never seen before.

We are the anti-Christs to save the world from the mercy of God, the self-pity that festers within the masses. Religion is the opiate of the masses, so drug them until they are nothing but slaves at your will. You have deserved this. You are Hitler the fourth, Alexander the Great the Second, Napoleon the Fifth, here to destroy the world we know.

The (presumably Ivy League) commenters on IvyGate can't decide if Stephany is a prankster who infiltrated the Princeton 2012 group or if she's a hero because she lacks "success guilt," LOL.

But it's kind of great that she's repositioning Princeton as a kind of Madrassa for extremist, hyper-hedonistic secular humanism rather than an institution of higher learning. Because, for many students, that's basically what it is, no?

[IvyGate]