I was invited to fourteen corporate holiday parties last year, all within walking distance of one another, all with open bars. This year, NONE! And I didn't suddenly become more obnoxious, companies have really cut back.
After ten months of freelancing (read: unemployment) I took a seasonal job at a large department store here in New York (mercifully for my shattered ego, it's one of the better ones, but still). We just got a store-wide email saying that the customary Christmas party had been canceled, replaced by a large donation to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. I was oddly disappointed, as I had been hoping to get ripped, like crazy drunk, at the open bar with very little repercussion. Now the children with cancer will get care and I will be sober when I collect my pink slip come January 1.
@Seeräuber Jenny: To be honest, nothing to shake a stick at. Unfortunately my financial stick has been, uh, shaken by the aforementioned bout of joblessness.
I wandered into the kitchen and considered for, like, the tenth time that day, how hard it would be to, like, pee into a funnel or something and then into, like, my boss's coffee. He was, like, such a fucking cretin.
"Hey!" he, like, yelled from the office. "How long does it take you to get me a cup of coffee, you dozy posh cow? You're not trying to find a goddamn funnel again, are you?"
I settled for opening a cupboard door and, like, writing "Ricky Van Veen has a really small peen" in the dust with my, like, finger.
From "The Devil Most Certainly Does Not, Like, Wear Prada," Bee Shaffer, 2010. #beeshaffer
12:51 AM
12/16/09
12/15/09
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12/14/09
Okay, gripe over. Fucking cheapskates.
12/14/09
12/15/09
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12/15/09
Some background:
[raincoaster.com]
12/15/09
12/14/09
I love this economy.
12/14/09
But how is the discount, Mrs. Lincoln?
12/14/09
12/14/09
Creepy.
12/14/09
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12/14/09
10/30/09
10/30/09
10/31/09
11/01/09
10/30/09
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10/30/09
"Hey!" he, like, yelled from the office. "How long does it take you to get me a cup of coffee, you dozy posh cow? You're not trying to find a goddamn funnel again, are you?"
I settled for opening a cupboard door and, like, writing "Ricky Van Veen has a really small peen" in the dust with my, like, finger.
From "The Devil Most Certainly Does Not, Like, Wear Prada," Bee Shaffer, 2010. #beeshaffer
10/30/09
10/30/09
10/30/09