I was invited to fourteen corporate holiday parties last year, all within walking distance of one another, all with open bars. This year, NONE! And I didn't suddenly become more obnoxious, companies have really cut back.
After ten months of freelancing (read: unemployment) I took a seasonal job at a large department store here in New York (mercifully for my shattered ego, it's one of the better ones, but still). We just got a store-wide email saying that the customary Christmas party had been canceled, replaced by a large donation to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. I was oddly disappointed, as I had been hoping to get ripped, like crazy drunk, at the open bar with very little repercussion. Now the children with cancer will get care and I will be sober when I collect my pink slip come January 1.
@Seeräuber Jenny: To be honest, nothing to shake a stick at. Unfortunately my financial stick has been, uh, shaken by the aforementioned bout of joblessness.
Biden was the most inscrutable choice, ever, for VP. Instead of "change" Obama brought out an old hack, who had trouble with both truth telling, even during the campaign, and with inserting his foot into his mouth. Oh, to know what kind of negotiation that was, to get him on the ticket---except, perhaps to allay terrified old white guys who feared a woman and a (half)black man on the ticket would bring on the apocalypse. #joebiden
I wandered into the kitchen and considered for, like, the tenth time that day, how hard it would be to, like, pee into a funnel or something and then into, like, my boss's coffee. He was, like, such a fucking cretin.
"Hey!" he, like, yelled from the office. "How long does it take you to get me a cup of coffee, you dozy posh cow? You're not trying to find a goddamn funnel again, are you?"
I settled for opening a cupboard door and, like, writing "Ricky Van Veen has a really small peen" in the dust with my, like, finger.
From "The Devil Most Certainly Does Not, Like, Wear Prada," Bee Shaffer, 2010. #beeshaffer
12/17/09
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12/14/09
Okay, gripe over. Fucking cheapskates.
12/14/09
12/15/09
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12/15/09
Some background:
[raincoaster.com]
12/15/09
12/14/09
I love this economy.
12/14/09
But how is the discount, Mrs. Lincoln?
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Creepy.
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12/14/09
10/31/09
WeepyVP Joe10/30/09
10/30/09
10/31/09
11/01/09
10/30/09
10/30/09
10/30/09
10/30/09
"Hey!" he, like, yelled from the office. "How long does it take you to get me a cup of coffee, you dozy posh cow? You're not trying to find a goddamn funnel again, are you?"
I settled for opening a cupboard door and, like, writing "Ricky Van Veen has a really small peen" in the dust with my, like, finger.
From "The Devil Most Certainly Does Not, Like, Wear Prada," Bee Shaffer, 2010. #beeshaffer