Dean Meminger is a 62 year-old former New York Knick and dad of Dean Meminger, Jr., a reporter and anchor at NY1. Police found discarded crack pipes at the scene of a fire in the Bronx that put the elder Meminger in critical condition last Sunday, and proceeded to leave 16 families homeless. Meminger has been battling cocaine addiction for much of his adult life, according to the NYDN.

Two's not quite an official trend. But if Pat Kiernan so much as stubs his toe any time soon, we advise everyone at NY1 to flee while you still can.

The autopsy said that Picower had a massive heart attack in his pool, then drowned as a result. And he was reportedly in poor health—thanks to Bernie Madoff!

"We always have been private people, and having all this play out in the media has taken a big toll on our health," the couple wrote in response to questions submitted earlier this month by The New York Times.

Irving Picard, the trustee for the Madoff victims, still wants to get back the $7 billion that Picower made from Madoff over the years. Hell, he can't take it with him, wherever he is. And it ended up killing him. Crime really doesn't pay.
[Pic via]

While Will Farrell is allowed to make mediocre comedy after mediocre comedy, Jan Hooks hasn't worked since 2004. Yes, SNL has launched the careers of countless male superstars, but what has it done for the women? Pretty much bubkas. There are a few notable exceptions—Tina Fey, Gilda Radner, Amy Poehler, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, for instance—but whither Ellen Cleghorne, Victoria Jackson, and Julia Sweeney? From the show's original cast, Jane Curtin may have gone on to several sitcoms, but Laraine Newman has been doing little more than guest spots and voice work for the better part of the decade.

Luckily Ana Gasteyer and Christine Ebersole went on to find steady work on Broadway, but that's kind of like being the chastest girl at a Sex-aholics Anonymous meeting. Why can Jimmy Fallon get his own late-night talk show, when Nora Dunn and Cheri Oteri are at home waiting by their phones? And for every Janeane Garofalo — who fled 30 Rock after one season, allowing her to escape with her career intact — a dozen Siobhan Fallones or Mary Grosses float out of sight. Maybe they should have taken the Maya Rudolph route and married a hipster director and done a drama. Now people are talking about how she's an "actress" instead of a comedian.

And it's not that these women aren't funny; they did scale to the very pinnacle of their trade by earning their places on the show. Hollywood doesn't know what to do with funny women. After all, it would rather have an attractive but bland actress playing the female lead on a sitcom rather than someone who has actual comedic timing. Look at who is starring in this season's romantic comedies: Amy Adams, Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Aniston, three ladies who never let themselves get pigeon-holed as "funny."

Don't worry, Casey and Michaela, just remember that there was a little girl named Sarah Silverman who got fired from SNL after one season too. She went out there and did her own thing, and in the end talent won out, and now she has her own show on basic cable! Look at how far you can go!

Just as in relationships, when a significant other's dog empties itself on your carpet, you've broken a threshold, a deed that will never be undone. And we imagine Julia Allison's cupcake-eating dog, Lilly, has shit on a lot of carpets.

This probably happened to Vimeo founder and retreated-fameball Jakob Lodwick shortly before he was ousted from the company.

We've all heard about the troubles of Facebook lately (Spam! Departures!, Gadfly speculation on the non-monetizable nature of the company!) since her and Randi Zuckerberg became besties and started smoking in the bathroom and whatnot.

This probably didn't happen to social-network-as-video-game OMGPOP founder Charles Forman, because we haven't heard anything about that company other than people pouring money into it sometime both before and after the couple broke up (Forman more or less claimed tinnitus, not dogshitting, as the breaking point).

But Tumblr founder David Karp, while never in a relationship with Allison, has, at the least, always been cozy with her. From deep inside the Tumblr headquarters, proof that this thing has reached a breaking point: The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Yeah: that's Allison, cleaning up Lilly's satanic curse from the floor of the Tumblr offices. Allison has referred to Lilly as a business partner; we don't doubt the dog's cunning skill in strategic shittery as a mark of both territory and omen. Open memo to David Karp and the rest of Tumblr: fumigate the place. Smudge it with sage. Rain dance the hell out of it. And Dennis Crowley of iPhone social networking app Foursquare: put that thing down NOW.

As Josh Green explains it:

The group that Verizon hired to conduct the study, EBI Consulting, in turn had to subcontract a local archeological firm, Aztlan Archeology (page 145), to make sure the tower wasn’t erected on Indian burial grounds or risked causing an eyesore. Laurie Slawson, the archeologist who wrote the report, explained to me that Aztlan had examined a “prehistoric rock ring” (page 160) discovered at the proposed site and contacted about a dozen local Indian tribes, from Hopis to Havasupai, to make sure no cell phone tower arose on ancient Indian burial grounds (which, she says, does happen periodically and necessitates an expensive relocation process to less-sacred areas). The McCain site did contain archeological evidence of a long-ago Indian presence—a fire pit that Slawson attributes to the Hohokam, a prehistoric agrarian tribe—though apparently nothing sacred enough to stand in the way of wireless technology.

So there's is a "prehistoric rock ring and possible pit house" on McCain's property and they built a radioactive cell tower on top of it and now he is cursed for a thousand generations, the end.

Celebrities Die in Miserable Trios
No one really knows where this theory came from, though we suspect it may have something to do with the Wiccan Rule of Three. The Rule is pretty simple: once one celebrity dies, inevitably two more famous deaths will follow soon after. Speculation and dot-connecting can reach a fever pitch, even if the "celebrity" status of those considered can be a bit tenuous at times. Some sort of sane person may say that, you know, people die in an unending flood of thousands, every unforgiving day. But most of those people are poor and uninteresting. So, yeah. Important deaths happen in threes. The rest is just population control.

Carol Ann and the Poltergeist... Poltergeist
When filming the gruesome "swimming pool full of dead people" scene, the crew used actual corpses (though they were union, at least.) A series of unfortunate events followed, as chronicled by the AJ Benza of unfortunate events, Lemony Snicket. OK, that is not at all true, but, yes, tragically several people involved with the production died suddenly. Dominique Dunne, the 22-year-old actress who played the eldest daughter of the haunted family, was murdered by her boyfriend soon after the movie was released. Heather O'Rourke, who played Carol Ann, died suddenly of a septic infection. Two other actors died shortly after. It makes me icky to think about it, so let's end there. You can read more about it here.

Billy Bob Thornton's Bad Juju
Many of the skinny, weird actor's costars have died: JT Walsh, John Ritter, Heath Ledger (who also died in the movie he made with Thornton), Bernie Mac, and Jim "Ernest" Varney. On the Billy Bob boo-boos list are Shia LaBeouf and Morgan Freeman (both car accidents) and his Waking Up in Reno costar Patrick Swayze is suffering from pancreatic cancer. Why are you doing this, Billy Bob? What have these people done to offend you so? Is this why Angelina wore your blood 'round her neck, to ward off your bad magicks? Read more on Defamer.

The Dark Knight Curse: The Revenge of Katie Holmes
As I've already expounded upon it beautifully, I won't go into the nitty gritty specifics of this latest Hollywood hex. All you need to know is that Heath died, Christian Bale threw his elderly saint of a mother out a window and then peed on her, and then Morgan Freeman took an ill-advised shortcut. Note the overlap between the DK jinx and Thorntongate. One party is responsible. You decide which one it is. But, chose wisely.

The Kal-El Katastrophes
The Superman franchise is also doomed. George Reeves, who played the blocky stocky rocky socky space nerd on television in the 50's was killed in a suspicious (probably Lex Luthor-related) suicide. His memory was further desecrated when Ben Affleck was chosen to play him in the film Hollywoodland (I kid, I kid. Affleck was good in that.) Richard Pryor, from the 70's films, got sick and died. Margot Kidder wandered into the woods of her mind and was never heard from again. And of course the eerily similar-named Christopher Reeve was in a horseback riding accident that left him paralyzed. He died a few years later. Recently the latest Superman, Brandon Routh, was diagnosed with a severe case of No Career.

Writing Devil Checks Your Life Can't Cash
Roman Polanski directed the howlingly funny Rosemary's Baby, about a woman who is the mutha of Satan's child. A year later, his young wife Sharon Tate was brutally murdered by members of Helter Skelterist Charles Manson's Fruitcake Crazy Society. Later Polanski sexed a ten-year-old and had to move to France. Meanwhile Brandon Lee, playing the lead role in the Godless resurrection/undead goth fest The Crow, was shot and killed during filming by a bullet that was supposed be a blank. Unlike everyone else on Earth, Lee's father Bruce Lee also died once.

Linda Blair Was Not the Only Creepy Thing to Come Crab-Walking Out of The Exorcist
The William Friedkin documentary, about hell demons living in Washington DC, was overtaken by a curse that affected many cast and crew members' lives. There were fires on set and some "four to nine" crew members died during the filming of the movie. Linda Blair's grandfather passed away, as did the brother of 326-year-old Swedish actor Max von Sydow. Loads of other creepy stuff happened, not the least of which was the execrable (hah?) prequel Exorcist: The Beginning.

So there you have it. Awful, terrible no good things. I'm sure I've missed some. I've heard rumors that people who costar with Debra Messing are doomed to play grating, sexless lawyers and that if you undo Diane Keaton's tie, her head falls off.

What have you heard?

Strange how many Billy Bob Thornton co-stars have died prematurely (Ritter, Bernie Mac, J.T. Walsh, Heath Ledger). Thank goodness Morgan Freeman (Levity) and Shia (Eagle Eye) survived their crashes and Patrick Swayze (Waking Up in Reno) is coming back from cancer or we'd be talking about the Billy Bob Curse. Not trying to make light, just think it's eerie.

And don't forget Jim Varney, whose final role before dying at 50 was Thornton's film Daddy and Them. Eerie, indeed — and we're not afraid to call it the curse that it is. So please see above for Defamer's unsettling reference to doomed and/or endangered Thornton castmates. And be careful, Hollywood!

• Bernie's Out [Hollywood Elsewhere]

As we all know, Heath Ledger, who plays the Joker in the film, died in January from an accidental overdose of sleeping pills and other medication. It was a fluke accident that swiftly stopped his sure-to-be meteoric rise to fame in its tracks. Some claimed that Ledger had been in a dark place after wrapping the film, having gone too deep into his crazed, anarchist character. But was that really it? Isn't that what every actor does? Could it have been a curse?

Christian Bale, who plays the rough and (annoyingly) growling Caped Crusader recently had a row with his mother and sister, right before the film's London premiere. It led to an arrest on an assault charge, though Bale denies any real wrongdoing. He is said to have had a deeply troubled childhood, which could be the reason for his violent outburst. Or... could it be a hex?

And then, sadly, we get to Freeman's auto accident. The actor, who plays Lucius Fox in the film, was driving in Mississippi last night when his car skipped the road and rolled down an embankment. He's said to be in "serious condition." There have been no reports of alcohol or substance abuse or any of that unseemly (like this post) stuff, so maybe it was, in fact, the dark shadow force that bewitched and doomed him.

Also, a crewman died while filming one of the movie's epic action sequences. (But he wasn't famous, so, boo!, apparently.) The film's other actors have so far not reported any ghostly occurrences or freak accidents, and the producers are definitely happy and swimming in piles of money. But could this just be the deceiving prelude to the awfulness that's yet to befall them? Could they spiral into addiction, spurned by an overabundance of wealth and an unseen malevolent force? More importantly, what could have provoked this curse? Supposedly the Poltergeist jinx was brought about when real skeletons were used for the film's opening scene. Did some such malfeasance take place on the Dark Knight set? I mean, other than the oily, meaty presence of Eric Roberts.

'There was quite a lot of blood and it was decided he needed to go to hospital for emergency treatment,' explained a member of the Bond production team. 'Some people are beginning to believe the film is jinxed.' ...

At the weekend a fire broke out and caused severe damage on an outdoor Bond set at Pinewood. The 007 studio at Pinewood had been open for only a year after it had to be rebuilt after a previous fire destroyed a giant replica of Venice during filming of the last Bond film, 'Casino Royale.'

Two stunt men were hurt in separate car accidents while filming Quantum of Solace on location at in northern Italy in April. British engineer Fraser Dunn, 29, was left fighting for his life after he crashed a £134,000 Aston Martin DBS into the water at Lake Garda in northern Italy. During the same shoot an unnamed Greek stuntman suffered serious head injuries in a car crash.

We also recall Craig having lost a couple of teeth back in 2005 when shooting a Casino Royale fight scene, but no dental crises or torn, bleeding flesh are enough to keep the blonde Bond off the set — at least not when taken with the film's Paul Haggis script credit. Some films just jinx themselves.

• Curse of Bond strikes Again... [Daily Mail]

Nothing funny about this, but Microsoft had a fatality on their construction site in WA state a few weeks back. Seems like it's freaked out quite a few of the contractors and they are having a hard time getting them back on the job.

Perhaps the site is cursed - also heard that they had some local hoodlums stealing tools there the other night.