Sean Avery Raiding The Wrong Closets At Vogue

• Hockey star and Vogue intern Sean Avery showed up to a concert "dressed head to toe in black with a black newsboy cap... he looked like he was straight out of a 1998 J.Lo video." [P6]
• Cynthia Nixon said she so did not have a boob job, as the Post reported. The breast cancer survivor and Sex And The City star just visited a hospital oncology department for a checkup. [R&M]
• Britney Spears watched her 17-year-old sister give birth, and then had to take a long airplane flight back to Los Angeles, and then some paprazzo almost got in a fight with her bodyguard, so she totally cried.
• Reality TV sexpot Tila Tequila supposedly got a Manhattan apartment broker to kiss her husband's ex wife. The ex wife also flashed Tila Tequila? And there was boob nuzzling? I guess if you're obscure, this is what you have to do to get into Page Six. [P6]
• Jennifer Lopez's entourage supposedly numbers eight people, including two guards with visibly-holstered guns. They reportedly demanded that a clothing boutique be sealed, while J. Lo was shopping, and that the actress/singer get a 50 percent discount. What's insane is that her twins' entourage is both larger and more surly. [P6]
• For Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday party, there will be medics on standby. Not for Mandela but for barely-able-to-stand performer/drug addict Amy Winehouse. She had to overcome so much to make it to the show. Sniffle. [Mirror]

"Haha, I Know. I Made Millions Off That Piece of Crap!"

Cynthia Nixon's Girlfriend a Big Ol' Dyke, OK?

Paris Hilton Demands Cute Baby That Can Go A Few Days Without Water And Stuff

• There is no goddamned way animal-hating monster Paris Hilton actually said this to justify her alleged competitive need to conceive: "I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children."
• British police kept hold of singer Amy Winehouse for nine hours of questioning after arresting her in connection with a January video in which she apparently smoked crack. She was said to have "sobbed uncontrollably once inside Limehouse" jail before being released around 1:30 am. By 4 am she was happily rummaging around at a convenience store, chatting up reporters.
• Jennifer Aniston was calling flame John Mayer "every spare moment" she got on a Miami film set. Then he flew to Miami to make out with her in a football stadium. This is the part where we all tune out for our own sanity, right? [OK!]
• For the Sex And The City movie, Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon got to keep their clothes, but Kristin Davis and Kim Cattrall did not. So unjust. How do they expect Kristin Davis to make movies without clothes? [E!]
• The Barbara Walters episode of Oprah attracted more viewers than both Tom Cruise episodes of Oprah, according to television tracking firm Perez Hilton.
• Here is Matt Damon looking creepy in a moustache. [IsThisHappening]

Tom Cruise To Again Terrify Oprah, New York

• Tom Cruise will appear on Oprah Winfrey's show who for the first time since his couch-jumping insanity the last time he was on the daytime talk program. The twitchy Scientologist will be on the show twice, once May 2nd from home and then May 5th in Oprah's usual studio. The visit coincides with the 25th anniversary of his movie Risky Business. [AP]
• After going on Oprah, Cruise will smother Katie Holmes by following her to New York for six months. Or they were never going to get separated in the first place and the tabloids are looking for a storyline that prevents Cruise's presence from proving them wrong. Either way. [OK!]
• Birthday party for Cruise and Holmes' two-year-old: $100,000. Flowers alone cost $17,000. Plus the stress tests and thetan cleansing were probably also in the five-figure range. [LA Rag Mag]
• Donald Trump "was big on the idea" of having OJ Simpson on his Celebrity Apprentice show "for a few minutes" until NBC executives nixed the idea. That's kind of the opposite of what happened to Norm MacDonald, if I recall correctly. [P6]
• Police incorrectly answered a question from Uma Thurman's stalker about whether he was allowed to have a lawyer present, so now they have to throw out his confession. Wait, you can "confess" to stalking? Well, why not. [P6]
• The solution to Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson's many emotional problems? A child, of course. Owen's idea. [Star]
• Cynthia Nixon is getting married to her partner. [JJ's Dirt]
• Someone invited Jerry Springer to give the commencement address at Northwestern's law school, so of course the students are up in arms. But is the best response they can come up with really just to shout "You suck?" [P6]
• Laugh all you want at Amy Winehouse, she's worth $20 million, according to the Sunday Times. [Showbiz Spy]

Scientology Prince May Lose His Princess

• Katie Holmes is said by Star to be planning a "trial separation" from Tom Cruise amid her plans to come to New York, where she might act in the play All My Sons. There's a battle over Suri. [Star]
• Britney Spears clocked some time on the treadmill, renewed the restraining order against ex-hanger-on Sam Lutfi, enrolled in voice lessons and spent two days in a recording studio, messing around. The singer was playing the pianno and singing "just for fun," or at least that's how she rolled until someone leaked everything to the media.
• Tori Spelling, in her own words: "I'm a huge fan of gays... They love me; I love them. They consider me kind of a gay icon, which they've labeled me as." [Reuters]
• A character dies in the Sex And The City movie, according to Cynthia Nixon. We don't know who or how important, just "a character." In other words, it's a movie. [P6]
• According to Naomi Campbell, British Airways, which has banned the supermodel, begged her to fly with them again but she refused because they disrespected her. No one in the entire world will ever believe that story, but plucky Page Six called BA just to confirmit is indeed total bullshit. [P6]
• Welcome to the family, Pete Wentz: The musician's father-in-law-to-be is already trying to broker pictures of the forthcoming baby Wentz didn't want to talk about. Ashlee Simpson's dad wants $1 million, the magazines are thinking less than $100,000. At least we know who leaked the pregnancy news. [P6]
• A plastic surgeon published a children's book on his profession called "My Beautiful Mommy." [Perez]
• David Cross is dating a woman 19 years younger, Amber Tamblyn of Joan of Aracadia. Or at least making out with her at a big movie opening. [P6]
• The father of Minnie Driver's baby is a San Francisco musician, Craig Zolezzi (pic). [Hollyscoop]

"Wait. I'm Not Finished With My Song".

'Post' Breaks, Rebreaks Hot Cynthia Nixon Gossip

WE HEAR... THAT Cynthia Nixon will appear in the first episode of the ninth season of "Law & Order: SVU," playing a woman with multiple personalities...

Cynthia Nixon is keeping busy. She'll play a woman with multiple personalities on the season opener of "Law & Order: SVU..."