It sure was an awesome story (written up last week by the NY Daily News, but it had been floating around long before that—Roxanne tells it herself on the Beef video series, for example): Warner Music put a throwaway clause in her record contract when she was still a teenager saying they'd pay for her education for life; she took advantage of it to go all the way through grad school on their dime.

But! Slate says the story has the following problems: Roxanne doesn't actually have a Ph.D. from Cornell; she didn't even graduate from Marymount Manhattan as an undergrad; she's not licensed to practice psychology; and all her record labels deny ever paying for her education. Caveat:

In a subsequent e-mail, Shanté wrote, "I also attended College under an alias, because of a Domestic Violence situation" and speculated that she "made a mistake on an application and put my old name so maybe that's the reason for the computer error?" But she was unable to substantiate such claims.

God damn it Slate. We are going to ignore these enormous red flags and cling to our hopes of some bit of good in the world. Everything was fine until you journalists started poking around.
[Pic via]

The story goes like this: Lohan goes in to get a cup of ice from a bodega. Leaves her BlackBerry on the counter. The guy working the counter runs after her in a cab, tries to give it to her, but asks if she can prove her identity first. She tries to get it back from him, even makes a swipe at it. Now he relents. She calls the cops, but the situation was "diffused" by the time the 5-0 arrived. Here's our lowdown:

Where: On Kenmare, between Mott and Elizabeth, in Little Italy, lies a bodega called the Mott Corner Deli. It's fairly inconspicuous, there's not much to the place. Typical downtown bodega, if not lesser-than-average. Advises a Yelp user:

Since it was past midnight the lazy option prevailed and we went over to Mott Corner (formerly known as Luncheonette) to grab a fish sandwich. Beware of this place! If you eat some of the food they cook there, you'll develop unknown cutaneous reactions. Seriously, it's that bad.

Advises me: if you're dumb enough to eat a fish sammie from a Bodega at 1AM, you deserve whatever "cutaneous reactions" you get. Besides being convenient and occasionally representing a decent cross-section of important foodstuffs, unimportant foodstuffs, and clutch necessities (condoms, beer, ciggarettes, TP, tampons), Bodegas (or "delis" as they're sometimes referred to) are historically known in New York as many a showdown between people of different languages, cultures, dialects, and levels of sobriety.

Who: In the right corner, actress, singer, newfound lesbian Lindsay Lohan, who's shown a recent shift of getting lippy, no? There are few like her. In the left corner, Bodega late shift worker and "counterman" (via the News), Mohammed Hashan. There are many like him, but he is special.

What? Lohan's shown a preference for the BlackBerry Bold. It's the PDA of choice for many a celebrity! It currently retails on Amazon.com for $49.99 with a new service plan, and can cost up to $500 without one. Much greater than the fiscal loss of a BlackBerry is, as everyone knows, the absolute pain in the ass it is to recover that kind of information. Also, she is a "Blackberry Person" as opposed to an "iPhone person," which, I bet you anything, Sam Ronson absolutely is. This is just how these things go, you know? The other "thing" involved? Ice. She was there to get a cup of it when she left her BlackBerry there.

How? It escalated to calling the cops for one of two reasons. The first is that the guy was geniuinely being an asshole, and wouldn't give Lohan her BlackBerry back for his own reasons. The other theory: she flew into a rage after not being recognized by these plebeian nobody.

Why? Because Lindsay Lohan's career is still spiraling downward, even after being cast in Robert Rodriguez's new film (probably more for kitsch value than anything else). Because her new lip job went terribly wrong and it's painfully obvious. Because recognition - even at the level of a guy working at a bodega - is important to celebrities who try to skirt it from the people who'd usually recognize them. Because interactions between New York's bodega-working populace and New Yorkers are sometimes strained as a result of a very in-your-face class system at work, the cover for which some people misread for friendliness, togetherness, and the common bond of being New Yorkers. Because the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Or, just: cocaine. There's always that.

Evans and Laura Schreffler brought back Gatecrasher as the paper's flagship gossip brand last December, after Jo Piazza left the Daily News.

Sean told us his career prospects are fine and that "I haven't slept better" in years.

We also hear that one of the people the Daily News is interested in luring in to join its gossip beat is man-profiler Spencer Morgan, recently laid off from the New York Observer.
[Pic: NYDN]

New York Post
The headline is classic Post, but the photo doesn't look so scary.

Daily News
What? "How Dumb Was This!" is an e-mail subject line, not a tabloid headline. Also, it needs a question mark at the end. Like the Post pic, the photo doesn't really evoke the 9/11.

Newsday
Groanworthy pun, but Oh my God that plane is flying into that building!

From an email to us, from Morgan:

The idea that I'm trying to get back some job I held years ago—which doesn't even exist anymore—is hilarious. I realize this makes me sound like a self-righteous twat, but where do you come up with this nonsense?

Oh, come now: Your Tabloid Wars days were recent enough for you to realize 1> we were Just Asking, a perfect, impenetrable legal and ethical defense for all forms of salacious gossip, always, and 2> we can't tell you that, although we did drop a hint in the original item.

I suppose it's too much to ask that you try and verify it before posting it for eternity on the internets.

Well, we don't make it to Beatrice much, but at least we have your GMail address now. That's a start!

Shallon took a bunch of shots at rival Page Six in an interview with crazytown Jersey gossip mag Steppin Out back in August, which we heard rubbed some of her colleagues the wrong way. But now she's out, by choice! Her farewell email:

Subject: Adios Daily News, Hello Sony!

Hey everyone,

I'm pleased to say I'm moving on from the NY Daily News to a position with Sony, where I'll be writing and expanding all of their artist websites. Please continue to pitch me stuff about any clients, events, fashion, etc, since I'll be writing items on products and events that fit with the artist's fanbase.

And with all the musicians Sony reps, there's something for everyone!

I start on March 13, in the meantime my contact info is below. It was great to work with each and every one of you, let's all stay in touch!

We're not sure if moving from the newspaper business to the music business is a step up or down, but good luck regardless.

Eddy Curry, the Knicks' 6'11 (injured) center, totally tried to put the moves on his limo driver, according to that driver, David Kuchinsky, who may or may not be just a greedy lying ex-con bastard trying to extort money from the immobile multimillionaire:

Stunning court papers charge that Curry, a married father of several kids, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky "in the nude," saying, "Look at me, Dave, look" and, "Come and touch it, Dave."

New York Post FTW! This is no family paper, ladies and gentlemen! May I have another, sir?

Curry, 26, also made Kuchinsky perform "humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [into which Curry had ejaculated] so that his wife would not see them," the Manhattan federal court suit says.

Kuchinsky, 36, who is straight and Jewish, also alleges racism, saying Curry hurled slurs at him, including "f- - - ing Jew," "cracker," "white slave," "white devil" and "grandmaster of the KKK."

Contrast this with the Daily News' positively restrained version of the story; the Post has pulled out to a wide lead on this one. As you would expect, landing as it does in the Post's newsgathering sweet spot of racist wanton athlete penis allegations. Low 'Post' For Ho Jokes? Raper Paper Loving Knick Dick Caper!

Curry says it's all false. [NYP]

At least two! The Wall Street Journal has the scoop, reporting that U.S. News editor and real estate mogul Zuckerman "had significant exposure through a fund that invested substantially all of its assets with Mr. Madoff, according to a person familiar with his investments."

No dollar figure is provided by the Journal, or by the Post, which carried its own summary of the Journal story, just to make sure the owner of the tabloid competition was suitably embarrassed among as diverse an array of New Yorkers as possible.

Other victims from today's coverage:

• Steven Spielberg's charity, the Wunderkinder Foundation, derived "roughly 70 percent of [its] interest and dividend income" from Madoff as of 2006 and has confirmed it suffered losses on its Madoff investments.
• Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel's Foundation for Humanity lost money.
• So did New Jersey Sen. Frank Lautenberg and his family foundation.

CHAUNCE HAYDEN: What separates the New York Post's Page Six from the New York Daily News' Rush and Molloy?
SHALLON LESTER: We just write better. We're really clever. I think it comes down to really good writing...
I really wanted to work for a newspaper and I love the Daily News and the Rush and Molloy column. It's not like [New York Post's] Page Six where we're out to smear people and ruin people's lives. They have a definite tone that is different from ours. Page Six has a much more biting, undercutting tone. I hope our column doesn't come across that way.

No, never!

CH: Ever get offered a bribe to give someone good press?
SL: Sure. But my neckless [SIC] does not say revenge for nothing. If people want to f-k with me they're in for a long hard road. I don't respond well to threats or bribery. A lot of journalists do it and you can totally tell when it's happened just by reading the article. Personally, I never take anything in exchange for a story. I hate being indebted to someone, plus we have a very strict policy about that. I've seen a lot of people take, take, take. They're in this job just because they like to get free shit. But they can't write their way out of a paper bag. I see it a lot.

Also she talks about how she was once a virgin and now all her ex-boyfriends are rock stars and athletes and how Perez Hilton is a "gangster" and how she has a reality show coming out on VH1 so that should be interesting one way or another.

From an associate of Rupert Murdoch:

Smeared Timesman Tim Arango is a "class act." News Corp. has no animus towards him; in fact, Murdoch likes him. What Fox News did to Arango was "pretty reprehensible."

Some with firsthand experience working alongside Briganti weighed in:

[Even] though Irena is the she-devil, try [her boss] Brian Lewis. Irena is his hatchet woman...Brian trained Irena. She started as his media relations coordinator and after 10 years of hatchet woman work has managed to land the VP position. Either way, their offices are right across eachother and whatever goes on, Brian is right behind it.

I can confirm that she is crazier than a bitch on crack...As you may have noticed, Fox will always— always— use the "disgruntled employee" defense when a former staffer comes out against the company. It's predictable. They work hard to build a trail of disgruntlement...
[For a good example of an ex-Fox New PR staffer being slammed, look up what happened to former Fox News publicist Paul Schur after he left the network—he paid the price for speaking out, rightfully or not]

More on the Ailes- Briganti quote pipeline:

many, most or all of the witty zingers that pour out of the Fox News disinformation operation come from Roger himself. Look at all the zingers over the years: they're all stylistically of a piece, whether Brian gave them before his promotion, whether they come from Irina, or anybody else over there permitted to speak with outsiders. No coincidence. They're all Ailesisms, right from his mouth. The "PR" team doesn't free lance. They follow directives.

Members of the media who have experienced the trademark Briganti charm:

Let me give you some information about that cunt. She would give us a few tips. If you didn't you use the story, she'd call up and yell. Why the fuck didn't you use the story? She badmouthed Keith Kelly to everyone. Called him decrepit, an asshole. Why? She's disturbingly insane, out of whack. I can't be attached to this in any shape or form. Or she'll get me.

she has this really offputtingly sweet little-girl voice. from hearing it alone, I'd think she'd be a cute, petite sorority-looking girl of about 23...I haven't heard her really lose her cool. that's part of her style — her way is more to act exasperated with you, like "I could care less about you and your stupid blog, but just so you know, if you write that story, everyone's going to see what a dipshit you are."

We deal with many many publicists as you can imagine, and her behavior still stands out as one of the absolute craziest...her name is always preceded by crazy as in it's "crazy irena briganti" again.

From a prominent business journalist:

[You're] completely right about irena thing at fox. mad, hostile, aggressive, always tries to go above the heads of reporters etc. an unexplored angle is how much the news corp people such as gary ginsberg hate her too. but because she comes under roger ailes she is inviolable

We also heard that Fox News had its own vendetta against a New York tabloid: "Apparently [Briganti] and/or brian lewis froze out the Daily News for like three years. wouldn't return a call from anyone there." A source at the Daily News confirms it:

Yes, we were on their shit list for a while. Not certain of the details. But I remember they basically wouldn't send us any of their "scoops" to hype, not that we did a lot of that to begin with.

I've had some run ins with them in the past. Bill O'Reilly's flak tried to make my life hell because I did something dastardly like refer to him as a "conservative." Apparently he prefers to be known as an "independent."

Even juicier, though, we hear that the Daily News is not the only tabloid Briganti has gone up against. One would think that the New York Post would have a News Corp-mandated friendship with Fox News, but it's not necessarily so. Earlier this year, the Post ran a small item about Bill O'Reilly's cameras ambushing Rosie O'Donnell at a book signing event. When the piece ran, the whole room overheard Briganti making call after call to Post gossip writers and editors, "screaming" about the negative O'Reilly coverage and demanding that someone be fired (no one was). So Briganti's bad reputation now extends even into the corridor's of the single friendliest newspaper in America towards Fox News.

THE BRIGANTI DEFENDERS:

I was Brian Lewis' assistant in the Fox News Media Relations department for a full year. While I was there I witnessed an aggressive, exciting, and successful public relations strategy that kept Fox News on top despite all of its crises, "talent," and attacks. Throughout my time there, my direct supervisors were Brian, Irena, and Erica. Since all of this has dealt mainly with Irena, I will simply say that she is by far one of the best bosses I have ever had. Not only is Irena great at what she does (and who doesn't want their boss to be competent?) but she is efficient, smart, and funny.

I went to Columbia with Irena Briganti (MS in Strategic Communications). I did at least one class project with her and always found her to be polite, professional and with none of the snarkiness you attribute to her. I am guessing she is just reflecting the wishes of her bosses and is doing it exceptionally well. Good for her.

You Don't Understand PR
An ad-hominem attack against anyone* who truthfully reports bad things about you is never inappropriate nor unprofessional.
* beat that accidental alliteration, bitch**
** like, in the nice way of saying "bitch"
Fox News Rocks!!!

The newest name on Clemens "How to Creep" list is Paulette Dean Daly, the former wife of professional golfer John Daly. Since John Daly looks like this:

You can see how even Clemens may have looked good to his paramour. The Daily News reports:

"Clemens' relationship with Daly is said to have come after the end of her marriage to the hard-driving golfer. That was on the heels of a grim incident at the 1997 Players Championship, where the golfer was taken to a hospital with alcohol poisoning...

Daly is still involved with the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic as an organizer of famously lavish parties there."

News reports have described Clemens as being in attendance as recently as two years ago, dancing around the party with an 8-foot-long boa constrictor around his neck.

She doesn't deny it so it must be true!

Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two, several sources have told the Daily News.

But by "began," the paper apparently means when they met, when McCready was performing in a Florida bar during spring training. One anonymous source calls it "love at first sight," but there's no mention of any proof that they had sex (and Clemens' lawyer denies it. Which means nothing). This part is pretty suggestive, though:

During another Big Apple excursion, the two holed up in the trendy SoHo Grand and later partied with Monica Lewinsky and Michael Jordan. McCready, according to a source, even bummed a cigar off His Airness to give to Clemens. There were personal love missives to Clemens hidden in McCready's album liner notes.

So who is Mindy McCready? Apparently she's the Amy Winehouse of country music! She has a huge arrest record, including prescription fraud and "a near overdose while pregnant." Here's her mug shot [via TMZ] from a 2007 DUI:

Her debut album in 1996 went multi-platinum, but it's been all downhill for her since then. And, she was "briefly engaged" to actor Dean Cain! Let's hope the drugs and alcohol didn't influence her decision to hang out with Clemens, who, I must remind you, is a grade A asshole. Here's a McCready music video of her biggest hit from happier days: