There is a lesson in this, somewhere, for people who work at TV stations: A lady has been forced to sue Hearst to try to get one of its TV stations to stop using a picture of her (fake) sexting—that she had posed for as a lark—to illustrate every story they run about "SEXTING." Oh, I know the lesson: Find more than one "SEXTING" pic. Can't be that hard that's what she sexted.


Everybody hates magazine subscription cards. They fall out of your magazine as you stand above someone on the subway and hit someone in the head and then you have to fight on the subway. But, helpful trend! Magazines like Outside and The Believer are no longer inserting the cards in their print issues. Goody.


Dana Milbank "welcomes ideas for a video format that works." Pornographic, Dana.


The author of a book called, quote, "A Tome of Poetry" is suing Oprah for $1 trillion, because she allegedly ripped off some work from "A Tome of Poetry" for her own book, and then what happened was "Winfrey sold an alleged 650 million copies of the book online for $20." So he has no choice, really.

The immediate reason this... thing got killed is the uproar over Milbank's joke about Hilary Clinton drinking "Mad Bitch" beer, which really should not be controversial because it is not funny enough to be controversial.

But the larger reason it got killed is that its very existence rested upon a flawed premise: Namely, the premise that one can be both a Serious Journalist at the Washington Post and an internet funnyman. The more tightly you cling to one, the more you suck at the other. I have not watched and will not watch any episodes of "Mouthpiece Theater," but I can tell you that they were doomed from the start. I can tell you this because Dana Milbank—who actually does write funny things from time to time—is such a smarmy-looking bastard that the notion of watching him, for pleasure and entertainment, by choice, is a non-starter. I can also tell you this because, as a mere blogger/thief, I need not put on any pretentious airs insinuating to you, the reader, that I'm giving you some stolid institutional wisdom above and beyond my worthless opinion. But Dana Milbank and Chris Cillizza are bound, by the very fact of their employment at the Washington Post, to do so! Why if Milbank could ease back and just be another smart-ass DC nerd cracking jokes, he might be quite bearable. But because he exists in the weird netherland of "news columnist" writing "humorous journalistic impressions" or whatever tripe descriptor the WaPo has currently placed on him besides the proper "Humor writer," he is sunk from the beginning. And Cillizza is even more of a guy on a Serious Beat, meaning he's even more screwed by the impossible premise of this failed comedic attempt, even if his actual face is not as smarmy-looking as Milbank's.

Is it worth it, Dana Milbank? Is your platform there, at the Washington Post, worth never, ever being able to say that Hillary Clinton is a bitch (it hasn't been fresh for like 15 joke-generations, yet you still can't say it), or that George Bush is a stupid, stupid simian, or that you frequently daydream about hate-fucking Michelle Malkin? You are a comedian in handcuffs, Dana Milbank! You must allow the very institutional halo effect that the outside world so reveres to slip away before you can truly say "Fuck this shit," and be heard.

In short, stop stealing our bit, Washington Post. We make the jokes around here. Or we steal them from Wonkette. Whatever.

Milbank likes tries to be funny and cool and things that traditional newspaper columnists aren't! Which is funny, again, because - as made evident by his last appearance here: his embarrassing HuffPo-diss-hiss punditry on CNN - he hates bloggers, who do that kind of thing for a living, because we're not journalists or something. But that kind of doesn't make sense, because here he is, making a video about the Obama Beer Summit, suggesting that all parties involved "got it all wrong" and also, that Hillary Clinton should drink "Mad Bitch Beer." The Washington Post pulled the video, but Media Matters still has it up. Whoops!

So, why'd the Washington Post pull it? Per Talking Points Memo's Josh Marshall:

Says Kris Coratti, Director of Communications at the Post: "The video was a satirical piece that lampooned people of all stripes. There was a section of the video that went too far, so we have removed the piece from our website."

I'm not sure anybody on this site could get away with joking about what a "mad bitch" Hillary Clinton is - lots of other people, sure - but then again: maybe we could! But we wouldn't, because - even more important than the overplayed outrage factor over certain people referring to Hillary Clinton that way with completely non-ironic inflections - it's just not that funny. Furthermore, the joke maybe could've been funny if Milbank were satirizing some of the ridiculous names people come up with for their microbrews, but he wasn't. Example of how this could've been done:

Arrogant Bastard Ale: Real.
Stalin's Summer Lager: Fake.
Santa's Butt Winter Ale: Real.
Moose Drool: Real.
Arianna Huffington's Hoppy Plasma Pilsner: Fake.

See: the Stalin one is kinda funny because Stalin was an alcoholic, and a Russian, and they're not known for their lagers. The Arianna Huffington one isn't that funny, either, but functions because it's a beer joke: "hoppy" is a term used to describe certain beers, and plasma, who drinks plasma? ha ha. But really, it's not even that funny of a concept, because they're beer jokes. But even worse is coming up with real beers for politicians who match their supposed traits (like: Republicans get all the beers with references to hell!) and really: there is absolutely nothing less funny than an unfunny joke. Even patently bad jokes can get a laugh. This just sucked.

No doubt Milbank, who pissily called Nico Pitney a "dick" after his CNN appearance with him, has probably said far worse things somewhere on camera. Maybe - despite the Washington Post's statement to the contrary - they just pulled the video because they're utterly embarrassed over how weak-kneed Milbank's material is. On that note, we've found a few comedy classes in DC for Milbank to check out and sharpen up his skills, and until then, look forward to his next effort.

The Huffington Post being called on at Obama pressers has been a great source of crunchiness! To the media, of course, because the general public could honestly give a shit. When the awesomely named young'un Nico Pitney got called on by Obama at a recent press conference, he was ready with a question from Real Live Iranians that he had asked for online previous to the press conference. Dana Milbank wrote a column calling out the dog-and-pony that was said presser as "The Obama Show." Arianna Huffington then weighed in, saying that Milbank's got his facts "all wrong."

Before defending the fact that it was choreographed (N.B. A win-win for Obama: they care about theater/the arts!) he goes out of his way to call Milbank "pathetic" for asking Obama about how he looks in a bathing suit or something. Then Milbank lays into Pitney for being such a phony. Howard Kurtz tries to moderate the table but mostly just tries not to laugh joyously at both of them. The entire thing is just awesome, because they're both right and they both just lay into each other. It's like watching a boxing match where every savage, brutal punch lands squarely in the face of its intended target. Oh, and Pitney basically calls Milbank a jealous bitch. And: as it turned out, Milbank supposedly called Pitney a "dick" shortly after the segment finished.

In other news, whenever I see people on TV yelling at each other, I can't help but think of this:

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Further reading: Michael Calderone at Politico goes all TEAM HUFFPO. Ben Smith at Politico was all TEAM HUFFNO.

Previously: Barack Obama Calls On Huffington Post Again.

[Awesome cat video via Videogum.]

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.That new Stephen Colbert Newsweek cover? Total ripoff of Spy Magazine. Jeff Bercovici points out that this is okay because every funny magazine is a total ripoff of Spy, even if none of the writers have ever read a single issue of Spy, because Spy invented humor, in magazine form.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.New York Times media columnist David Carr went through an entire internet-person party a lot like this one, for his column today, and didn't even insult anyone there, which is kind of superhuman.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Mediaite.com, the media blog offshoot of Dan Abrams' PR firm, has hired Steve Krakauer of TV Newser as its new "TV editor." So there is at least one open job in the media now.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Just how wacky is wacky WaPo political wacky-pointer-outer Dana Milbank? "The Post's 'wiseguy,' as described in Yeas & Nays ran around the house with a pair of [editorial cartoonist Tom Toles]' very own tighty-whities over his jeans and even waved a pair over his head on the dance floor." Now that is wacky. Your move, Gene Weingarten.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Fleur Cowles, who in 1950 launched a magazine called Flair that "caused a sensation and is still admired for its coverage of fashion, décor, travel, art, literature and other enthusiasms of Ms. Cowles's," has died at the age of 101.

Plouffe was a keynote speaker at some Politico event in Georgetown, but at the last minute announced to the assembled media that his speech would be TOP SECRET.

The decision to close his remarks led Politico, the co-sponsor of the rest of the two-day "Transition 2009" conference, to drop its co-sponsorship of the Plouffe portion of the event.

Yea, you there, Plouffe—weren't you the dude who came up with all that "Change" shit? Whatever dude. Don't want your secret "How to have an awesome presidential transition" tips to get out before your book? Whatever dude. With all those fucking fundraising emails you sent to every citizen of America, the least you can do is not do Karl Rove impressions.

Whatever dude.

This brouhaha caused Dana Milbank, the Washington Post's designated Funny Guy, to stage a minor anti-Plouffe protest, as pictured. Milbank's on the right side here, and, to be honest, I always thought he was a pretty decent writer. But there's no denying he has that kind of face that just makes you want to tell him to SHUT UP.

Here's an idea, press corps: Just report his speech anyhow. Fuck 'em. Nobody would even would have cared if it was on the record. Now, every word is sure to come out regardless. On the blogs! [The Note]

• David Brody, senior national correspondent for the Christian Broadcasting Network. A veteran journalist of more than 20 years, Brody writes the political blog, "The Brody File."
• Alex Castellanos, a Republican strategist and former campaign consultant for Mitt Romney's presidential campaign. Castellanos is a partner in National Media Inc., a political and corporate consulting firm.
• Tara Wall, deputy editorial page editor and columnist for The Washington Times. Previously, she served as director of the office of public affairs at the Administration for Children and Families, a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and as director of outreach communications for the Republican National Committee.

Hah. The Dem is Hilary Rosen, former RIAA chairman and current HuffPo political director. The Post columnist is harmless jokester Dana Milbank—whose column is not called "The Lighter Side of Congressional Politics!" but it totally should be—and he's hardly a fire-breathing liberal by any definition.

So that's one correspondent for Pat Robertson's crazy tv channel, one Mitt Romney drone, and the deputy editorial page editor of the extreme-right Moonie-owned joke of a "newspaper", versus HuffPo and this guy. Really opening up the door for MSNBC, guys.