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The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
The Devil Reps Prada: A Lizzie Grubman Tell-All

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dirtydeer
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
I tried to read this some time back, but I thought the whole premise was specious... because the main character is _straight_? How many guys do we know in PR working under the likes of Grubman that are straight?
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
we went back iniside (thinly disguised name of restaurant/club) and had a few more (name of trendy drink with name bramd liquor) and ...
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RollsRoyceRevenge
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
I stood, standing studly stoodish mcStandingson, watching as my evil boss backed up the car real slow. Mimi was talking on a cell phone and her shoes were expensive. My evil boss is ugly. Mimi started taking pills and failing to deal. Adrian had a gay name. He also had expensive shoes, but not as expensive as Mimi’s, only gayer. He was standing next to Mimi, by the way. I am a frigging genius on a level with Balzac. Bam! Crash! The car hit Mimi. Blood was EVERYWHERE. "The Press are totes going to eat this up," I thought. Also, the car hit Adrian.
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heartbreakturnip
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
If only she really were a lobster lady, just click-click-clicking and snap-snap-snapping her way down the sidewalk. That hair would look awfully good on a crustacean, I think.
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pattycakes
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
Richard, you are a far, far better writer than this sad, whiny gnat of a fameball wannabe.

Please say you're planning to publish a Gawker tell all. I'm seeing big screens with a sheepish, hilarious Ed Westwick crafting the best recaps ever for a crude, boundary lacking Jack Black.
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JacquesPaysan
07/15/09

@pattycakes: Call it "The Devil Wears Pajamas."
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Edited by JacquesPaysan at 07/15/09 4:35 PM JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred

MattGaymon
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
It's refreshingly breezy and nondescript. She just, opens her bottle of pills. It doesn't matter which ones! And we all stood, standing.
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Richard Lawson
07/15/09

@MattGaymon: We All Stood, Standing should be the name of your memoir.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
07/15/09

@MattGaymon: Popping our pills, we were. Brightly colored and variously shaped, they were.
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Colonel Mustard
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
OH NOES! What about the Professor? And Mary-Ann? Did Mrs. Howell get hit? Did Wally and the Beav make it to safety??

Needs more names.
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MattGaymon
07/15/09

@Colonel Mustard: Let's start writing the sequel using not just but ONLY the characters from the first.

"Adam mia, jennieallison lauren?" Allison miajennie louise adam, jenniejennie laurenadam mia. Louise mia, adam.
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JacquesPaysan
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
Just curious, but was this book "published" at Kinko's?
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Lymed
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
In the sequel do we find out that she was really aiming for the narrator's daughter's boyfriend but hit Joshua?
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dango
07/15/09

In reply to The Lizzie Grubman Tale Continued: Car Accidents!
Restaurant bitch?

Not quite up to the level of "prostitute whore."
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richardmarxhatesmyhair
07/14/09

In reply to The Devil Reps Prada: A Lizzie Grubman Tell-All
The title of my book about her is called "The Devil Wore Giorgio Beverly Hills and Her Dad Bought it For Her."

But that's how RMHMH imagines she smells and I am pretty sure no matter her scent, like everything else including her current freedom, her father bought it for her.
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ElleL
07/14/09

In reply to The Devil Reps Prada: A Lizzie Grubman Tell-All
Tara Reid for the starring role in the movie adaptation?
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irishflyesq
07/14/09

@ElleL: Good call, but I'm going with Tori Spelling.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
07/14/09

@irishflyesq: Charlize. Playing against type. (I know you remember she got the Oscar for Wournos.)
Plus, she's the only one tall enough.
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DorothyBarker
07/14/09

In reply to The Devil Reps Prada: A Lizzie Grubman Tell-All
No one else notice how horrifically bad the writing is here? Sorry enough this dude gets published based on a long ago, v. inside baseball, shallow rich people incident, but he can't write an elegant, clever, witty sentence to save his life. Richard Lawson: where is your book deal?!?!? You could, as they say, eat a bowl of Alpha-Bits and poop a better novel than this kid...
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phlox✔
07/14/09

@DorothyBarker:

Kim Novak in The Mirror Crack'd: "I could eat a can of Kodak and puke a better movie."

Also, I think that 'horrific' is a bit harsh. But then I have very low expectations of writers these days.
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Edited by phlox✔ at 07/14/09 9:47 PM phlox✔ was starred phlox✔ was unstarred

jrhys
07/15/09

@DorothyBarker: YES. that is whoreiffic writing and Richard is a modern day Evelyn Waugh in waiting.... And we ARE waiting, RL!
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RollsRoyceRevenge
07/15/09

@DorothyBarker: I am sick of whiny little twats like this one whining their whiny little whines about how mean their should-have-seen-it-coming-from-5,000-miles-away boss was/is/might have been one day immediately after stepping on a tack. I think Lizzie's no angel, but then there are undiscovered native tribes in Brazil who know that much. You decide to work for people like her for one of two things: social capital and/or free booze. The rest of it should go without saying.

Or if you're going to say it--at least say it well.
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lawyergay
07/14/09

In reply to The Devil Reps Prada: A Lizzie Grubman Tell-All
Am I wrong to think that "ogress" would have been, well, le mot juste in that last descriptive passage?
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BookishLookish
07/14/09

@lawyergay: If you have the chance to add an "ess" to a word, you should always do it.
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BookishLookish
07/14/09

In reply to The Devil Reps Prada: A Lizzie Grubman Tell-All
It needs a bit of tightening and more descriptions of her truly vomitotious scowl-face and terrifying maw. But, hey, it's kinda spiffy.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
07/14/09

@BookishLookish: "It needs a bit of tightening and more descriptions of her truly vomitotious scowl-face and terrifying maw."
*snerk* No. No, it doesn't.
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