Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Jason Bateman, Courtney Cox and David Arquette

12/26 — JASON BATEMAN and family at Il Sole on Sunset... he is ridiculously hot... and seemed like a nice guy. COURTNEY COX, DAVID ARQUETTE and family also at Il Sole... she left the table last so everyone would see her, stopped by Bateman's table, and then headed out to the paparazzi... all two of them. Guess no one cares about her anymore. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Momentous Occasion Alert! John Mayer And Jennifer Aniston Officially Rub Our Faces In Their 'Relationship'

Like that old car wreck cliché, the John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston quasi-relationship remains shamefully impossible to look away from. So glance away we shall. After getting caught slobbering in pools, then attempting to trick photographers by making separate exits post-dinner in New York, the Cougar Queen and her cad were most recently spotted gazing into each other’s vacant eyes on Courteney Cox’s balcony. But last night marked a (Very Exciting!) turn of events in which the closeted couple boldly went where every closeted couple eventually goes: agreeing to be photographed side by side, smile to smile, with nary a sign of resistance. Where the so-boring-they’re-exciting couple grandly outed their union, and which enablers were present, after the jump. More »

We don’t know about you, but the most surprising thing about hearing Courteney Cox’s FX show Dirt is being canceled was learning that it was still on the air. Sure, we recall the industry anticipation about yet another Friend comeback, the mildly intriguing pilot in which a cokehead actress overdoses in a bathtub, and then there was all that hullabaloo about the big lesbian makeout scene between Cox and Jennifer Aniston. But after getting all excited and finally watching the lukewarm peck, we gave up on the patchy attempt at nailing the current clusterfuck that is tabloid journalism these days. But as Cox told TV Guide at a benefit last night, the gig is up for good. The good news? Courteney and second fiddle husband David Arquette are planning to “all kinds of stuff” with their jointly run and oddly named production company, Coquette. Just as soon as David unlocks the bathroom door in which he’s been violently weeping all weekend. [TV Guide]

Who's The Hollywood Trio On Drugs?

Today's Page Six wonders: "WHICH Hollywood trio of friends is in trouble? One is on crack, one's on smack, and the other cheats so much on his wife that he single-handedly is supporting several hookers..." We've narrowed it down to a few possible candidates; your input is, of course, mandatory. More »

Celebrity-child-welfare watchdog group TMZ.com is concerned that the Cox-Arquettes are flouting Hawaiian water safety laws by not properly outfitting daughter Coco with an approved PVD while kayaking. At the very least, we expect that their selfless intervention in this matter will result in the immediate purchase of a pair of water wings for the tyke. [TMZ]

Clues To Tony Soprano's Fate Lie In Santa Monica Whole Foods

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time Maya Rudolph's yakking ruined an outdoor screening of her boyfriend's porn-industry masterpiece. More »

Oscar Winner Forest Whitaker Indulges Patriotic Feelings At Santa Monica Pier

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the night Mr. Belding tore up "Don't Stop Believin'" in front of a packed Metal Skool crowd. More »

Colin Farrell Dairy Mishap Narrowly Avoided With Help From Ralph's Good Samaritans

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted former Seinfeld star and noted stand-up nose-diver Michael Richards on a Third Street Promenade shopping spree: More »

If You Think This Is Great, Wait Until You See Phase Number Two Of David Arquette's 'Tripper' Marketing Campaign

The theatrical release of David Arquette's The Tripper is soon upon us, the first horror movie to our knowledge to feature a Ronald Reagan-impersonating ax murderer (not counting 1953's criminally overlooked Bloodbath For Bonzo). As a low-budget horror producer without joint access to his far more successful wife's bank account, Arquette is always on the lookout for creative viral marketing ploys that cost no more than the price of four quickly pounded Cape Cods: Behold, then, this remarkable feat of bladder-relieving chirography made available on the movie's MySpace page, in which Arquette scrawls the title upon a New Orleans sidewalk in one fell piss. It's an admirable example of out-of-the-pants promotional thinking, made all the more impressive by the knowledge that Arquette is simultaneously contributing his small part to the re-beautification of areas hit hardest by Hurricane Katrina. More »

David Arquette Remains Gainfully Employed Thanks To More Successful Women In His Family

If you are one of millions of Americans who suffer from mid-afternoon anxiety attacks over an issue that remains frustratingly out of your control—"How's David Arquette's career going?"—we have wonderful news: According to an AP wire report (dateline: whatever press release they copied the information from), Arquette only appears to be expanding his show business resume, thanks to the helping hands of the more successful women in his life: More »

Extremist Hackers Need To Brush Up On IMDb Skills

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Lost David Arquette Video Leads To Impromptu One-Man Show At Comic-Con: UPDATE

Properly gender-assigned Arquette brother David was excited to present at Comic-Con some preview scenes of his directorial debut, The Tripper. He describes it as a "political horror" film, which, in our minds anyway, conjures tantalizing images of an escaped lunatic in a rubber Lincoln mask stalking the current administration through the halls of the White House. A funny thing happened on the way to the nerd forum, however, as a red-faced Arquette was forced to explain to the gathered crowd that he had somehow misplaced the video: More »