Gawker
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socialites
Socialite Suckler Decries Real Housewives as Not "Real" Society Girls
If there's one thing that's entertaining, it's fights over who is and who isn't a real member of New York "society." (If you have to ask, you probably aren't.) Sycophantic social-scene chronicler David Patrick Columbia slammed the Real Housewives of NYC ladies as nouveau riche on his New York Social Diary: "As far as the Society angle goes, these girls are not Society. An expensive apartment, a limo and a house in the Hamptons does not society make." They lack the breeding that makes you a society girl: "These girls are all spawns of the subPrime world that is now imploding around us." He especially dislikes LuAnn, the lady married to a European count: More »
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By SheilaComment by Solomon Grundy: @richardmarxhatesmyhair: Hm, depends what you mean by 'everyone'. My point was that a dwindling number of people still take it... more » | Other threads
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awkward
David Patrick Columbia Misidentifies The Only Black People He's Ever Photographed
Okay, this is awkward. Radar points out that society snapper David Patrick Columbia incorrectly identifies two African-American men in the latest issue of Quest (still publishing, apparently). On the left we have the misnomered "Moises de la Renée," who is actually 25-year-old Moises de la Renta, adopted son of Oscar de la Renta. To make matters more hilarious, Columbia then mixes up his 'mos. Gay Vanity Fair fashion and style director Michael Roberts is confused with gay former Vibe editor Emil Wilbekin. God, they should make them wear name tags or something... -
the rich
Society Huddles Terrified in Their Mansions, While Socialites Prowl the Night
David Patrick Columbia, who narrates the goings on of New York society, has a theory about the ladies of Real Housewives of New York City, the Bravo reality show in which five idiots wander around New York, destroying everything. These women are not Society, Columbia insists: "Socialites, yes maybe; Society, no. But then, it could be argued successfully that there is no Society anymore. Socialites go out at night. Society stays home." It's just like that movie I Am Legend, where the hero holes up in his gorgeous townhouse on Washington Square Park, while hideous zombie vampire creatures roam Manhattan. Society is aged and weak, as the socialites will be someday. This will continue until society has died and everything has been devoured. It's pretty grim. Though Columbia does demonstrate some appreciation for the socialite menace: "The Countess de Lesseps, off-camera is a very nice woman, and is also a Native American." Oh. Well, there you have it. [NY Social Diary]
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Comment by maevemealone: I saw the Brooklyn wench at Fairway yesterday, shopping with her husband and kids. The husband was not as awful... more » | Other threads
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gossip
Socialite Suckler Worries About Poors
What does David Patrick Columbia of New York Social Diary, a website that shares pics of the lives of the Tinsely Mortimer crowd, think of the growing income gap? He granted a rambling interview to BigThink, a "marketplace for idea-sharing, discussion between global thought leaders and the public" that's already interviewed luminaries such as Richard Branson and Ted Kennedy. His solution starts with the proclamation that, "A lot of people are just too rich." Like Donald Newhouse, one of Forbes' richest men, and the Rockefeller clan, presumably, all of whom have been lovingly chronicled on NYSD! He spirals into an anecdote about having dinner on the yacht of "a very, very rich man." The yacht in question was "big, huge... I think it was 300 feet or something like that. It was enormous." The video and transcript follow. More » -
new york social tirey
Socialite Seasonal Affective Disorder
New York society chronicler David Patrick Columbia is a little blue! He went out to lunch with Erica Jong the other day, and they talked about the YouTube videos about Henry Kravis and the tax-dodging mogul set. But lunch with Erica put him in a maudlin frame of mind, even though they went on to talk about Hillary Clinton. But how can one feel down when one receives such an amazing Christmas card from Dr. Sherrell and Muffie Potter Aston? More »
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By ChoireComment by raincoaster: @richardmarxhatesmyhair: by Diane Arbus. That woman's had so much botox she can no longer open her eyes. It's just as... more » | Other threads
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Comment by IBentMyWookie: Oh, the Glory of It All is one of the best books I have read in recent years. I can't... more » | Other threads
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tory burch
'Vanity Fair' Profiles Are The Match.com Of The Overclass
At least, that's what an item in today's Rush & Molloy would have us believe:Lance Armstrong and Tory Burch seem to be going strong. The champion bicyclist and socialite designer were quite cozy at a birthday party in L.A. over the weekend, says our spy. Word is Armstrong liked what he read about Tory in a recent Vanity Fair profile of her and ex Chris Burch. Armstrong, who won the Tour de France seven times, supposedly told a pal: "She came off as intelligent and successful," and arranged to meet her.
She does come across pretty well in that profile, doesn't she? Let's take a closer look . . . More »
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By Emily GouldComment by FreeTix: Ok, I think my post got lost--- I know Tory and Chris and can't belieive no one ever goes into her... more » | Other threads
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david patrick columbia
David Patrick Columbia vs. Socialite Rank: Round 2
You can imagine how delighted we are to see the feud- seed that we planted germinating, sprouting, and beginning to bear stinky, bitter fruit: elder statesman of goss David Patrick Columbia has finally seen fit to bite back at the nasty young upstart/s (*cough* Derek Blasberg *cough cough*) at Socialite Rank. SR had emailed us to clarify that the reason they no longer linked to DPC's New York Social Diary was that he was "boring," "dull as a plastic airline knive [sic]," and that his audience "already qualifies for reservation spaces in the cemeteries." David Patrick Columbia has a few choice words for the Rankles, and they're at least all spelled correctly. Snap! After the jump, we translate them from old-people-ese. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by the earl grey: Quest is a good magazine, especially the bi-monthly retro issues. SR is stupidly redundant & I got bored... more » | Other threads
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socialite rank
Socialite Rank Shutout: David Patrick Columbia Too Ugly-Inclusive
Yesterday we wondered aloud why the Socialite Ranklers had removed elder statesman of goss David Patrick Columbia's New York Social Diary from their blogroll. Could it have anything to do with a rumored beef between DPC and lead SR-writing suspect, "writer" Derek Blasberg, we thought but didn't say? Luckily, we didn't have to wonder for very long: a clarification landed in our inbox, on the monogrammed SR e-stationery:Why we squashed DPC... We decided to finally remove Mr. Columbia's site from our link list for a very simple reason: DPC's incredibly boring. Well, we guess there are more inspirations as well. His target audience already qualifies for reservation spaces in the cemeteries; his writing has become as dull as an airline plastic knive and his all-inclusive policy of ugly people pictures has gotten on our nerves. No one reads his magazine, except the occasional C-list Hamptons and 10021 residents who make its "distinguished" pages. Otherwise, the kind help staff recycles the damn thing. So, there is no bitter feud. Just a lack of appreciation for an old man who couldn't.
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By Emily GouldComment by FeveredJoy: That's the first time I've seen a lace bodystocking used as a dressing for nuclear burns. It's the only thing... more » | Other threads
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socialite rank
Socialite Rank Shutout: Did David Patrick Columbia Use The Wrong Fork Or Whatnot?
In between their predictable outbursts of fanciness and sycophanciness ("she's a darling. a stylish one too." "she's so darling"), the Socialite Rank commenters (by the way, the real Socialite Rank mystery = who are the Socialite Rank commenters?? Seriously!) seem to have come across an intriguing discrepancy. On an unrelated post today, commenter 'nan' writes:why is NY social diary suddenly of [sic] the links. trying to keep it on the DL DPC?
It's true: the elder statesman of rich people goss is no longer on the Rankles' blogroll. Did he do something to upset them, or the Social status quo? We briefly skimmed his site for clues, but we had to stop when a photo of Nan Kempner's jutting elbow actually popped through the screen and poked us in the eye. If anyone else has the wherewithal to figure out what caused this possible catfight, though, please do clue us in. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by giraffeluvah: The *real* real mystery: why is Gawker 'commenting', as "Gawker", and rather than commenting, just linking back to this page?... more » | Other threads
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david patrick columbia
David Patrick Columbia, Nancy Drew of the Information Superhighway
Remember when we posted that YouTube clip of Beauty Junkie Alex Kucz lambasting 740 Park author Michael Gross via voicemail? And remember when, after the clip, we mentioned that "This obviously has nothing whatsoever to do with Monday's Kucz Fresh Air interview, by the way"? Well, David Patrick Columbia wants to lift the scales from your eyes, America: that "voicemail message" is actually a clip from the Fresh Air interview, taken out of context and spliced together with Gross's voicemail via the magic of technology! Let's let Columbia explain it a little more thoroughly:It was that NPR interview from which they clipped Ms. K's voice saying "you are a complete and total utter ... etc." about another subject entirely, to accompany the clip from Michael Gross' answering machine. You with me? In other words he said it and she said it but not in the sequence (or even on the medium) represented by the clip. They used their real voices saying things they actually said, albeit out of context (in a radio interview rather than a deposted phone message), and presented as truth to the undiscerning (most of us).
Uh, David? Most of . . . you. Seriously, it was just you. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by GaryGnu: Damn, Emily I knew my neurons weren't firing right this morning. Sorry, I should have known jalopy was too... more » | Other threads
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david patrick columbia
David Patrick Columbia Mumbles Something About Lemonade and Soup
We just have to drop our know-it-all facade here for a second and admit that we were probs totally wrong about the slant of David Patrick Columbia's Tinz Mortimer,31 literary allusion the other day. We don't actually know anything about rich people who go to parties for a living. But he sure does! And today he's got another blind item. We have to say, we really appreciate this man's blind item steez. No tacky Ted Casablancas "Toothy Tile"-ish nicknames, no Post-y "WHICH young blonde recently divorced popstar" unsubtlety. No, DPC is mad subtle. So subtle, in fact, that we have nooooo fucking clue what he's talking about:More trouble in more paradise (and NOT Tinsley and Topper's). One of the town's more social young couples, big bucks, very Old Line family, have been on the skids and heading toward the divorce courts. It was assumed that the guilty party was the wife, something of a citron presse, another one of those girls big on the social circuit and often solo. But, there's a third party — a girl in hubby's soup, so to speak — a very well known girl, very, in the midst of having her own famous divorce and a recently linked with a famous tycoon.
Arg, we feel like it's on the tip of our brain! Please help us out. More » -
tinsley mortimer
Trouble This Side of Paradise for Tinz Mortimer, 31?
Our jaw dropped to the floor Roger Rabbit-style when we read David Patrick Columbia's broad hint that socialist Tinsley Mortimer, 31 and her financier husband — whose conspicuous absence from her side is mentioned in every article about her — might have hit a bit of a rough patch. What is new, though (at least to us) is his observation that "rumors are focusing on one individual outside the marriage, and an affair (for want of a better word) that has been going on for more than ... a couple of months." And later: "This of course is ultimately the stuff of novels. " More »
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By Emily GouldComment by Fishman: NobodyLikesMe: I'm really loking forward to it, but I'll be in North Carolina. more » | Other threads
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david patrick columbia
One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other
While perusing David Patrick Columbia's Social Diary this afternoon (and don't pretend you don't spend all day refreshing that bitch), we came across the ravishing image you see here. Any guesses? Answer after the jump. More »
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By abalk2Comment by FrankGiovinazzi: Are we going to get a shot of those impossible cantaloupe halves? more » | Other threads
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new york social diary
David Patrick Columbia Defeats Death: The Winners
Amazing how many submissions to the "David Patrick Columbia Defeats Death" contest included animals, mojitos, Brooke Astor, and doormen. You'll recall that we asked for 50 words or less describing how the driving force behind New York Social Diary confronted and overcame death. If only everyone could win, but sadly, even the actual winner doesn't really win much. As an aperitif, here's the second runner-up:At a fundraiser for a neglected petting zoo, Mr. Columbia crushed large blocks of ice with his hands much to the guests' amusement. Into the pen of a puma with rickets a child slipped a crispy prawn with mango cilantro dipping sauce. The puma choked, and Mr. Columbia poured it a dry, citrus-y chenin blanc, averting disaster.
The ultimate victor and more, after the jump. More » -
socialites
Defending the Melissa Berkelhammers
29-year-old "socialite" Melissa Berkelhammer — who lives alone, is supported by her parents, and has no job or talents to speak of other than mugging for Patrick McMullan's camera and saying incredibly stupid things in the presence of an Observer reporter — sure is getting her money's worth out of publicist R. Couri Hay, who she pays a mere $2500/month to ensure her presence on the best guest lists and near the most eligible i-bankers. Yesterday, New York Social Diary grand captioneer David Patrick Columbia nobly came to Berkelhammer's defense, noting that social climbing has always been part of the game: the Rockefellers paid someone to keep their name in the papers and Brooke Astor was accused of marrying for money (as if the poor old thing hasn't been through enough, need we compare her to this girl?). Columbia argues:
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new york social diary
David Patrick Columbia Defeats Death
Socialite captioneer and social mandarin David Patrick Columbia is most well known for running the good ship New York Social Diary. Unfortunately, it seems he took in a showing of An Inconvenient Truth. That or the heat done got him. The generally dark news here and abroad inspired the gentleman to issue this declaration:Nothing is impossible as long as there is you and your imagination. That may be beyond naivete. But ... have you ever been confronted by the very real possibility of death? I have. I learned that the human reaction is to Do Something.
In other words, have you ever stared death in the face, punk, like David Patrick Columbia has? We have no idea what the actual possibility of death was that confronted DPC, but we're sure we can collectively come up with a better one. Therefore, the challenge: in 50 words or less, describe David Patrick Columbia confronting and overcoming death. The scenario must take place at a NYSD-appropriate party or other social function. Submit entries in the comments below or to dpcdeath@gmail.com. Winning entry receives a free copy of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Edition. More »
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By Chris MohneyComment by bohammer71: At a fundraiser for a neglected petting zoo, Mr. Columbia crushed large blocks of ice with his hands much to... more » | Other threads
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rick hilton
The Hiltons' Christmas buffet
David Patrick Columbia reports that Rick and Kathy Hilton, heirs to the Hilton Hotel empire and parents of Paris and Nicky, who are "very homey people" had their annual Christmas buffett tonight at their apartment in Waldorf Towers. DPC raves about the amazing "warmth" of the place and simplicity of the buffett, which is "just like your neighbors have." We're willing to stretch the definition of "homey," but not so much that it includes a Park Avenue mansion. And we're willing to stretch the definition of "warmth," but not so much that it includes "eats small orphan children for breakfast, but in a genuinely tender fashion and only behind closed doors." (Perhaps we exaggerate on that one.) We do admit, however, that there may some similarities between the Hiltons and our neighbors. Our neighbors, for example, also have annoyingly vapid daughters. Our neighbors also... Okay, so that's where the similarities stop. Note to DPC: Wipe your mouth. You're drooling. More »
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