Nearly a decade after Central Perk burned to the ground, trapping all of the Friends inside it, David Schwimmer continues to be the lamest character in everyone's lives.

Amazing news: Lifetime is casting an original movie about tragic figure Anna Nicole Smith. And who better to handle Anna Nicole's story than a network known for melodrama and camp appeal?

Everybody's favorite paleontologist from the '90s, David Schwimmer, has listed his Los Angeles mansion.

Maria Shriver may have leaked her husband's affair to the media. Two newspapers published photos of Arnold's tween love child—and in one pic he's holding a can of beer. Christina Hendricks describes her "obviously real" breasts. Lindsay Lohan shows off her right breast for the cameras. Tuesday gossip gets sleazy.

Underwhelmed and slightly spotlight-shy David Schwimmer appeared on Ellen to take that giant leap into the mystifying world of Twitter. David seems genuinely concerned when Ellen mentions that he will certainly gain a slew of followers after she recommends him.

Mayer whispers dirty nothings into a strange female's ear. Jennifer Aniston has a 20-foot no-touch zone. Taylor Momsen is a Parisian style icon. Lindsay Lohan sips Shirley Temples. Thursday gossip is sexual napalm.

David Arquette's rumored mistress is a bar brawling Hollywood mean girl. Courteney Cox ditches her wedding ring. Minka Kelly's mother was a stripper. Al Franken makes an airport security joke. Tuesday gossip sneaks into your bed and steals your husband.

Trust, the latest movie from Friends star David Schwimmer, is like the dramatic equivalent of watching a "To Catch a Predator" segment on Dateline, but with Clive Owen instead of Chris Hansen. This thing sure looks like a turkey.

MTV is having all their top moneymakers examined. Kate Gosselin hates the dancing stars in her galaxy. Corey Feldman is banned from Corey Haim's funeral. Martha Stewart can't get laid. Monday's gossip got up an hour late.

Today at Gawker.TV, Jessica Simpson admits to not brushing her teeth, The Office teaches us how to be men, Sarah Silverman snorts coke alongside Andy Samberg and invisible friends, and our version of Greenzone starring 30 Rock and David Schwimmer.

David Schwimmer turns 43 today. Sculptor Richard Serra is turning 70. Pat Buchanan is 71. Political author (and reformed right-winger) David Brock is 47. Nelly turns 35. Singer/songwriter k.d. lang is turning 48. Chris Walla, the guitarist from Death Cab for Cutie, is 34. Stefanie Powers, best known as Jennifer Hart…

Everyone's going for a twist today. Friends stars are trying to edgy-it-up; Paramount wants to pull one over on the theater owners and The CW is seeing hotties fighting Bin Laden and going to Mars. It's all in the trades.

Uma Thurman on a school field trip with son Levon and his classmates ... Brooke Shields getting out of a cab with her mom and daughter ... Justin Timberlake going to lunch at Bubby's ... Hugh Jackman jogging to a playground with daughter Ava ... Regis Philbin walking into ABC studios ... Jerry Seinfeld filming a…

And just as we anticipated, Gunther and Naked Guy holding out on the rumored Friends reunion movie has unraveled the project completely, with various cast members now saving face by acting like it was never in the cards to begin with: "'Nothing is happening in this regard,' said Matthew Perry's rep in a statement.…

Radar reports that our favorite box office trailblazer, Josh Hartnett, has finally given up hope of nailing zingers on 30 Rock or appearing in a mildly successful movie and moved on to simpler pursuits: the London theater. In a role that will certainly pay homage to Tom Cruise’s former career as an actor, Hartnett…

While on his way to a London area Obama rally, David Schwimmer explained that his outfit for the evening was picked by his girlfriend, Zoe Buckman. Buckman described Schwimmer's look as being kooky and fun, and casually mentioned how much she loved bands that employed keyboardists. Schwimmer agreed and said that it…

Actor/Director David Schwimmer's significant other ran interference as he appeared to be in deep thought about his next career move. Yet she took job a bit too seriously when she snapped at a fan who approached them to talk about how much he had enjoyed Run Fatboy Run, as well as David's turn as Greenzo on 30 Rock.…

Young girlfriend? Check.