Gawker: dawn+eden

Sarah Palin's Fake SAT Scores Forged From Born-Again Virgin Dawn Eden

Sheila — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 18:15:49 EDT

Dawn Eden is a former rock journalist better known as the copy editor who got fired from the New York Post for being too conservative, later writing a book about not having sex. How fitting, then, that she somehow re-appears in the midst of the Sarah Palin report card forgery. The report card "is is in fact a forgery made from my SAT scoresheet, which I posted in January 2004," Eden blogs.

How bizarre. So Eden's the one with the 425 Verbal? Not really: whoever forged it "lowered the grades and scores on the printout to make Palin, an honor-society member, look like a mediocre student." Eden then dismisses us with a haughty, "And now, I will attempt to leave all this bloggy excitement behind for a while, as I am currently pursuing a master's degree in theology and need to study for midterms."

Also: Radar Online

Let a Hundred Ladyflowers Bloom

Pareene — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 16:06:00 EDT

Dawn Eden was a copy editor who got fired from the New York Post for being too conservative. It's true! She wrote a book about not having any sex called The Thrill of the Chaste. It's just been translated into Chinese! Since Dawn so enjoyed our last effort at coming up with alternate titles for her book (oh god we've been doing this a long time), she asked in an email if perhaps we might have some ideas for the alternate title of the Chinese edition. We do! But we can't share them because we're writing our own competing book on how sex is great. For the Chinese title we're thinking The Great Leap Whore-ward. [The Dawn Patrol]

Crazed Christ-Loving Re-Virgin Quits 'Daily News'

Emily Gould — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 13:10:31 EDT

Self-styled "former popular-music historian" turned revirginized Catholic loonytune Dawn Eden is no longer a deputy news editor at the New York Daily News. She says she's leaving to take her "dream job" as director of the Cardinal Newman Society's Love and Responsibility program, whose "projects include promoting Eucharistic Adoration, monitoring commencement speakers, and campaigning to stop Catholic campuses from hosting Eve Ensler's play that reduces women to their anatomy." Dawn is "elated, excited, and, most of all, thankful," which is just how we'd feel about basically any news if we hadn't gotten laid since March 2003. And from what we hear, her Daily News co-workers are pretty elated to see her go!

Says one: "Deputy News editors design and layout pages. She never designed a single page. She didn't know how. Pressure was on to bring her up to speed in this respect. But despite the news editor title, she was just a copy editor - she edited stories, wrote headlines and gave her boss hell. She went over his head constantly, recently assigned coverage of a Catholic organization, without his knowledge and even accused him of making anti-Catholic remarks." So now everyone's happy! Most especially Jesus.

Google Doing Its Part To Keep Curious Pre-Teens Disgusted By Sex

abalk2 — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 11:40:40 EST

Relentless self-promoter/professional hymen-regenerator Dawn Eden wants to make sure we're aware of the following:

The number one Google hit for "sex" ... is Salon's interview with me. I discovered that inadvertently — a blog reference to it came up when I Technoratied my name last night.

Congratulations, Dawn! Just one question: Does self-Googling count as masturbation? It just seems so, we don't know, unchaste.

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Dawn Eden

Taking the Bait: Dawn Eden is a Publicity Whore

Emily Gould — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 11:00:00 EST

From the hymen-regenerator herself comes this courteous email:

Dear Gawker, Today is the official release date of my book, The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On, and to mark the occasion, I've launched a YouTube series, "Chastening Thoughts."

After the jump, look on in horror and wonderment as Dawn shares excerpts from her work of literary greatness, the mere existence of which proves for all time that there is no God. But maybe you should buy a copy anyway, so that Dawn can finally afford undereye concealer.

Seriously, after the jump. Go there. C'mon, baby, you know you want it.

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Dawn Eden
Earlier: Taking the Bait: Socialite Rank Silver Spoon Awards

Irresponsible Rumormongering: Lenore Skenazy's Replacement Just Crazy Enough To Work?

abalk2 — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 15:50:53 EST

So this is just crazy enough to be true, but still pretty frigging crazy: the News is going to fill its lady vacancy (created by the canning of Lenore Skenazy) by giving a columnist job to... wait for it... Dawn Eden! That's right, the professional hymen-regenerator herself. Our source on this sounded slightly dubious, and who wouldn't? If you know anything, send it in.

UPDATE: Now we hear this may have just been a "newsroom joke that got out of hand." That's how greatness begins, folks. Just wait.

Earlier: News Needs Women

Dawn Eden Has Been A Re-Virgin Since March 2003

Emily Gould — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 14:15:00 EST

Born-again former groupie and author of The Thrill of the Chaste Dawn Eden is, stunningly, finding it a bit tough to locate the special someone who deserves her regrown ladytreasure. The problem? Even though "[celibacy] is a state of grace, where nothing penetrates you," sometimes things can get a little out of hand: "Kissing happens." It happens but rarely, though: Dawn does date, but "not very often. And not in a while." So has she been, you know, taking care of her own needs? GOD, no! "From the beginning, when I first started masturbating I always felt depressed afterward. As I drew closer to Catholicism I realized that masturbation was against my faith."

All this, and more, in a Radar interview by . . . wait for it . . . Peter Hyman. We suppose Dick Mucuousmembranethatpartiallyoccludestheexternalvaginalorifice was unavailable.

Eden's Not Cheatin' [Radaronline]
Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Dawn Eden

Yonder Stands Your Virgin

abalk2 — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:55:39 EST

From issues of sexuality to issues of no sex at all, here's a promo clip that permanently cross-legged hymen regenerator Dawn Eden made for her new book, The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On. Remember how we all thought that Twyla Tharp musical was gonna kill Bob Dylan? Well, if he survives this one, we know he's bulletproof.

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Dawn Eden

Dawn Eden Damns with Faint Acknowledgement

Chris Mohney — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 11:30:21 EDT

Former New York Post and current New York Daily News staffer and sex-averse blogger Dawn Eden has her book coming out in early December, just in time for Christ-mas. The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfilmment while Keeping Your Clothes On indeed sounds like a barrel o' laughs, but of particular note are a couple excerpts from the acknowledgements:

Very special thanks to Andrew Krucoff, who boosted my profile when he interviewed me in August 2004 for Gawker.com, and George Gurley of the New York Observer, who interviewed me in February 2005 after I lost my job at the New York Post. I'm grateful to Greg Daniel of W Publishing Group, who spotted the Observer piece and approached me about writing a book. And I'm grateful too to Michael Cooke and Martin Dunn, who also saw George's article and offered me a job at the Daily News that was far better than the one I had lost. ... Finally, very special thanks to Col Allan and Susan Edelman of the New York Post, without whom this book would not exist. When I think of you, I think of Genesis 50:20.

No, that's not the part Samuel L. Jackson quotes when shootin' people in Pulp Fiction; it's about turning evil into good, etc. Enjoy also this (subtitled!) clip of Eden chatting up the joys of restrained at eros at this week's Makor talk at the 92nd Street Y.

To Do: Muckrakers, Forgotten New York, or Comics

suki — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 15:40:55 EDT

Intrigue! (Bob Woodward makes a rare appearance in New York.) Scandal! (Secret goverment documents are unveiled.) Success! (State of Denial: Bush at War, Part III is now No. 1 on the Times Best Seller list.) Religion! (Simon & Schuster executives pray Jared Paul Stern has the same fate.) [92nd St Y]

Or you can head over to their West Side Makor location to check out one-time Gawker favorite Dawn Eden and others talk about their sexual experiences. We'll let you determine the frustration level for each event. [92nd St Y]

Forgotten New York author Kevin Walsh shares useless, but fascinating information with those fascinated by useless information. For example, Edgar Allen Poe, residing at 85 West 3rd for a mere 12 months, was a Village hipster nearly 200 years ahead of his time. [NY Mag]

The Jewish Museum (Manhattan) and The Newark Musuem (Yes, that Newark) team up to feature Masters of American Comics, an exhibition of comics throughout the 1900s including superhero favorites, the Fantastic Four and Superman. This is for the few of you who are brave enough to venture past Hoboken. [Flavorpill]

Remainders: Paris Hilton Loves a Good Frisk

Jessica — Thu, 07 Sep 2006 19:15:20 EDT

• Maybe we just love the image too much, but when we see Paris Hilton in handcuffs, we have to think she's enjoying herself. Hell, just another romantic night for the lady. [TMZ]
• Ellen: What's the deal with blogs? [BWE]
• Is CBS looking to team Campbell Brown and Anderson Cooper as co-hosts for The Early Show? Just some advice to the network brass: if you put those two in captivity, they're not gonna mate. [Fox411]
• Blogosphere alum and Vanity Fair online editor Andrew Hearst hits the print edition, makes magazine funny. [VF]
• The majority owners of celeb-hive nightspot Butter are suing co-owner Scott Sartiano for using club profits to further his lavish lifestyle. Well, duh. [NYP]
• Thanks to the Johnny Walker Blue Label Index, you can now determine exactly how much you're being ripped off by chic watering holes. [Eater]
• Making Park Slope mommies look downright appealing. [CookieAssortment]
• We know she's just lifting her voice towards the heavens or whatever, but Dawn Eden should not be allowed to sing. Or, at the very least, she should not be allowed to record herself singing. C'mon, girl, have some shame. God likes 'em modest. [Feministing]

Remainders: This One's for Dawn Eden

Jessica — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 19:00:27 EDT

• Rip off those condoms, boys! The FDA proposes to sell the morning-after pill over the counter for women 18 and older; we encourage you to try Plan B just once, if only because the woman in its advertisement looks so damn serene. Inner peace comes from knowing you knocked that would-be zygote out of commission. [Plan B]
• Why would alleged perv Jeffrey Epstein donate $30 million to Harvard? Almost all of the university's students are of legal age. [Crimson]
• In the midst of all of Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic fun, Hollywood Jew-bashing Gregg Easterbrook is back on ESPN.com. Coincidence? Not when he's got advice from Jesus for Phil Mickelson. [ESPN]
• Haute Living, the bible of those who like to live haute, will launch a NYC spin-off version, to be found in "400 luxury buildings where the average price of an apartment is $4.2 million." Just what New York needed: rich fucks reading about their rich fucking lifestyle while lounging about their rich fucker apartment. [The Real Estate]
• And in other magazine news, introducing ShopSmart, Consumer Report's ghetto version of Lucky. [NYDN]
• Life & Style to get bloggy. [FishbowlNY]
• Poor Lower East Side. You've tried to stand tall throughout the climbing rent prices, overcrowded bars, and impossibly expensive boutique shopping. You even kept your cool when Starbucks set up shop. But now the line has been crossed: a gym, an actual area promoting fitness, is headed for Ludlow Street. A moment of silence, please. [Curbed]
• So with the biblical heat outside, how long until people start losing power? We're setting the over/under at 18 hours. [NYSun]

Dawn Eden Previews Her Book

Jesse — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 11:35:33 EDT

How have we not seen this yet? Daily News copy editor Dawn Eden — everyone's second favorite scary conservative Catholic after Mel Gibson — has posted on her blog a tantalizing preview of her forthcoming book, The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On. The book is her inspirational account of how she found God (or some such), stopped having sex (or some such), and discovered happiness (somehow). We're still busy trying to unpack this bit on gay men, straight men, straight women, and TV:

On television and in movies, if a single woman is friends with a man, the pal's more often than not a homosexual. The message is that heterosexual men aren't capable of friendship or even worthy of it. In contrast, gay men are depicted as safe and nonthreatening, trustworthy, and having more to give than straight men.

Imagine if the tables were turned. Imagine watching a TV sitcom where all the gay men are Neanderthal lunkheads, while the kind, thoughtful straight men are always ready to help their female friends without asking sexual favors in return.

You might think such a show doesn't exist because such people don't exist, or because it's no fun to watch shows about men who will never, ever get laid. But no, Eden tell us, such shows don't exist because — if we're reading her right — because women have too much casual sex. It's always those harlots' fault.

Go read the thing yourself and see if you can decipher it better.

'Chaste' Taste [The Dawn Patrol via Feministe]

Dawn Eden's Hot Mom: Our Lips Are Sealed

krucoff2 — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 15:00:10 EST

You all know Dawn Eden, right? Former NY Post headline writer canned for being too vocal on religious issues, rescued by the Daily News, and eventually got a book deal because that's what publishing houses eat for lunch these days? OK, she just made my day. I may never post again. (Hold your applause.) When I asked for tips earlier I was desperate enough to ask for pics of your mom. She did not fail.

Previously: Dawn Eden coverage on Gawker

Remainders: Dawn Eden Categorically Denies Being the Same Person as Judith Miller

Jessica — Tue, 18 Oct 2005 19:00:16 EDT

• From our favorite Christian soldier, per an item yesterday: "I don't care if your researchers found out that Judith Miller and I have the same Webmaster. I am NOT Judith Miller, and I demand a retraction. Yours sincerely - Dawn Eden."
• But what if Dawn Eden is a Starlight Mints fan like our little Judy? [Lindsayism]
• You've always longed for a HitchensWatch, you just didn't know it till now. [Hitchenswatch]
• An easy guide to understanding the ASME's best mag covers. [Low Culture]
• Michael Musto ends his latest Village Voice column on a perplexing note. Although we'd not be surprised if he actually were going through menopause. [VV]
• Times Square denizens the Naked Cowboy and Naked Cowgirl join forces for the (presumably) naked interview. [Yes But No But Yes]

Judith Miller and Dawn Eden's Secret Love Child TK?

Jessica — Mon, 17 Oct 2005 15:30:12 EDT

FishbowlNY makes a great point: Leaky Times reporter Judith Miller and the Daily News' very-Christian headline writer Dawn Eden have a lot in common: They're both on some sort of hiatus (Eden from her blog, anyhow), they're both working on books (Dawn's writing some "don't have sex" thing, and Judy's making bank on her rumored deal), and they both threw their own shit at the office fan (Eden left the Post after her editing skills got a bit too pro-Jesus, and Miller, well, you know). Plus, we'd like to add, they both do what they're told without skepticism or question (Miller by the government, Eden by G-d).

Switched at Birth? [FishbowlNY]

Losin' It

Pareene — Thu, 06 Oct 2005 10:50:12 EDT

Is it just us or does that top headline (click to enlarge) make absolutely no sense, even for a Post hed? I mean, Tom Cruise is famous for being in movies called "Mission Impossible," and yes, the subhead is informative, if credulous, so we're with them that far. But when we search for some clever double entendre — or even a cheesy pun — we come up dry.

What the hell does "Mission Impossible" have to do with pregnancy? The headline could be "Cocktail" for all the relevance it has. Christ, even "RISKY BUSINESS" woulda made more sense.

Here are some alternate headlines that, frankly, we're disappointed in the Post for not using:
TomKittens On the Way
Dead Thetan: 'There's No Place Like Holmes'
And one sent in by reader Dawn Eden (no lie):
CRUISE YOUR DADDY

Tom and Katie Preggers [NYP]

Dawn, But Not Forgotten

Pareene — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 10:32:22 EDT

Dawn Eden, the copy editor too conservative (among other small issues) for the New York Post and too godly to disrespect her body by allowing it any pleasure not specifically sanctioned by Yahweh, is taking a bit of a break from blogging. But don't you feminazis get any ideas!

Planned Parenthood et al should hold off their rejoicing, as I'll still monitor the culture of death.

Yes, well, someone's got to. Otherwise it's all snuff films on CNN and baby-stabbings. But why the break?

I have signed a contract with W Publishing Group, a division of Thomas Nelson the largest Christian publisher to write a book. It'll be directed at women like myself who need a strong, motivational, and deeply moral message to counter the ones they receive from a sex-obsessed world. It's called The Thrill of the Chaste and will come out a year from now.

Yes, The Thrill of the Chaste. A title selected, most likely, after the publisher had rejected Dawn's other proposals:

Chaste Manhattan
Abort, Retry, Ignore
Repressed For Success
You're Going To Hell, Slut

Eden Back After the Fall [Dawn Patrol]

Dawn Eden's Headlines For the Highly Cultured

Jessica — Thu, 15 Sep 2005 10:13:42 EDT

Everyone's favorite right-wing nutjob, God-fearing blogger Dawn Eden, muses on her job as a headline writer for the Daily News:

I've already blocked out the memory of the tiny headline I wrote last night about small towns in the Carolinas evacuating in anticipation of a hurricane. I fear it was something like, "Hamlets warned of Ophelia."

Wince. Too soon for hurricane humor? Eh, doesn't matter — we'd be shocked if her editors even got the joke. Shakespeare might be too big of a stretch.

Get Thee to a Punnery [Dawn Patrol]