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Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World

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Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
I was thinking I could make a diamond or two each time I look at my 401k.
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IndianSlipper
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
Actually I plan on robbing diamonds this holiday season. There are ads on Craigslist with lots of pawn shops.
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TerseNursePornstein
11/18/08

@IndianSlipper: The Somaili Pirates say "quit stealing our steez."

(I stole this steez from Phyllis Nefler.)
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TerseNursePornstein
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
Well, I'm no businessman, but this makes perfect sense to me. If I'm buying anything, it's something with resale value. And single, good quality stones= timeless.

If you can get your hands on a copy of the Rappaport report, you will always know what your stone is worth on the street at a given time. Sure, whether or not you get it is another matter entirely...but I'd rather have one of these in my pocket than almost anything else for sale this season.
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shostakobitch
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
Nicky Oppenheimer knows that diamonds are all the rage with uitlanders because he read the tea leaves at the bottom of the human skull he was using as a vessel.
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Aatom
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
I worked in the jewelry ad world for 7 years, and all I know is that you should never underestimate the evil geniuses at the DTC. If they say you will be buying lots of diamonds this season, you WILL be buying lots of diamonds. Or else the puppy gets it. They're the OPEC of the jewelry world, and they know where you live.
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Moff
11/18/08

@Aatom: Yeah, I think De Beers is going to be just fine. For one thing, yes, they're evil geniuses. For another, in spite of what we keep hearing on the news, the economic troubles are not pervasive. There are still a lot of consumers who haven't been hit so terribly hard. I talk to a fair number of retail jewelers in Middle America, and generally when the economy looks bad, I hear the same thing from them: "Well, we were a little nervous about our Christmas season, but our numbers were fine/our numbers were only down a little from the year before/our numbers were actually higher than the year before!"
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lobstr
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
I'll never forget that one commercial they had where the tagline was "Isn't three months' salary worth a lifetime?" or some shit. I really couldn't believe they went there and were so brazen about it.
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overunderover
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
I'm still hedging my fortunes in Unicorn bones.
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Thatcornellguy
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
I thought this recession was so bad, rappers and hip hop moguls were giving up private jets for flying first class. Why does DeBeers suddenly think they can keep their key diamond market?
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BookishLookish
11/18/08

@Thatcornellguy: They cannot afford not to. They have a corner on the diamond market and have to push the message.
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Iceland Spar
11/18/08

@Thatcornellguy: Portable wealth. Plus, after the coming social collapse, diamonds will still be able to be used as currency.
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Smitros
11/18/08

@Thatcornellguy:
Some of the rappers say they're giving up private jets but are still taking them on the down low.

Don't ask me how that works.
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BookishLookish
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
DeBeers' diamonds are overpriced (due in part to marketing strategies such as this). Educate yourself about cut and clarity and get your hiney over to 47th Street.

Diamonds are always a good deal: they pretty and amuse you in good times, and in bad you can smuggle them in your hoo-hah or twixt your hey-heys when you have to get out of the country in a hurry.
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es-ki-mo
11/18/08

@BookishLookish: The 5th 'C' is for Comfort!
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BookishLookish
11/18/08

@es-ki-mo: Yes, you really have to watch it with the marquise cut, it's a killer!
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leonleonleon
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
I absolutely love De Beers. I also love De Whiskey, De Vodka, De Gin, De Rum, De Tequila ...
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Iceland Spar
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
On the upside, it looks like at least one evil monopolist is on its way towards a break-up and bankruptcy.
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Senor_Wences
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
On Sunday I noticed diamond season had started, with some damn commercial perfectly designed to make me feel utterly alone and long for death. This, I think, is what they are really selling. Our way of life is unsustainable, and the overlords need to cull the herd.
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Weegee's bored
11/18/08

@Senor_Wences: I get that way every time a commercial reminds me that I can't afford a Pocket Fisherman.
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uninspired
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
It was flawed research. The actual question was:

"Of the following, what will be your number-one gift for the holidays in 2008?"

A. Mansions
B. Diamond Jewelry
C. Farm Animals
D. According to Jim DVD box sets
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es-ki-mo
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
This plan will De Fail and I will De Laugh De Heartily.
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BookishLookish
11/18/08

@es-ki-mo: And that's De Lovely.
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Larry Fine
11/18/08

@BookishLookish: They Deserve that.
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AuntPeniston
11/18/08

In reply to Diamond Sales Set To Skyrocket In Opposite World
How on earth did De Beers know I was planning to buy my husband a diamond-studded pimp cup for Christmas this year? I was going to get it somewhere really top drawer, like Kay Jewelers, but maybe I should consider De Beers. I mean, they seem pretty smart what with their researchin' and all.
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