The Main Line. A tony, stony region of suburban Philadelphia where the cricket clubs chirp and the toddlers take Mandarin and the driveways are covered with dead mice and snakes. Just a beautiful, fancy area, full of old money and a few NFL players, and a shit ton of dead mice and snakes. Perfect for raising a family…

Police in Charleston, West Virginia, found Mark Thompson wandering around the woods in a bra and panties and covered in the blood of his neighbor's pygmy goat, which he had killed in his bedroom. He had been high on "bath salts" for three days.

Lindsay Lohan is being sued over that incident in which she left a nightclub wearing someone else's blonde fur coat, a coat she had not been wearing previously, and that the owner did not give her permission to take. This means Lohan is probably going to have answer uncomfortable questions raised by the situation…

Further details have emerged about that $12,000 fur coat that Lindsay Lohan may have pilfered (pictured). The coat owner is kindly asking Lohan for six figures in pain and suffering. Masha Markova, perhaps a descendant of the noble line of Russian fur traders, claims that the drug-splattered actress stole the blond…