Bruce Willis Will Never Die

Deal or No Deal makes, um, a new deal. Americans poach from the French who poached from the Americans. Bad news for a Sister, and good news for Bruce Willis. More »

Cloris Leachman Will Sex You Up

· After being ritually abused by cloddish comedians for nearly two hours at the largely laugh-free roast for Bob Saget (save for Norm MacDonald's tremendous bit) a few weeks back, it was good to see Cloris Leachman getting the last laugh on Dancing With The Stars last night. It goes without saying that we were tremendously shocked to discover the Grand Canyon-esque 82 year-old cleavage that she's been hiding all these years. We were not surprised, however, to learn that her classiness and elegance on the dance floor greatly outweighs that of her much younger competitor, Miss Kim Krash-dashian. [DWTS] More »

Help Wanted: 'Deal Or No Deal' Searching For A New Banker

· Looks like Ben Silverman isn't the only one who should be updating his resume. After 246 episodes of Deal Or No Deal, last night marked the first time that a contestant took home the million dollar briefcase, which can't be good for The Banker's employment status. Congrats go out to Jessica Robinson but, truth be told, we still don't like her as much as the "I Can Do 200 Of These!" guy. [NBC] More »

The Quantum Of Cyrus

We're still flipping through "The New Classics" issue of Entertainment Weekly that hit newsstands about two weeks ago. And while we feel that, on the whole, the staffers over there put together a pretty thorough examination of the last 25 years of pop culture, we do have a few qualms with their list. Chief among them is the inclusion of Casino Royale, the 2006 rebooting of the Bond franchise, which came in at #19 in their list of Top 100 movies. While it was certainly a serviceable action thriller, we've never quite been able to understand Owen Gleiberman's fascination with the film (he also rated it the top movie of 2006). Sure, the opening sequence was pretty cool if you've never seen Banlieue 13 or The Bourne Supremacy, but for us, the rest of the film was pure, uncut meh. After all, it couldn't have been just us who fell asleep during that interminable card game of Uno* that took up the entire third act of the film, right? But we're getting off track here. What we meant to be discussing all along is the new trailer for JB22, aka Quantum Of Solace, which we have for you after the jump. More »

The Force Is Strong In This Nerd Screaming At Briefcases

· We think we have a worthy successor to the Star Wars Holiday Special for the most blasphemous use of the property, like, ever. That said, that Darth Banker's a hard-ass, isn't he? $49,000? But there's five large amounts still left in play—including the million! [Deal or No Deal] More »

D-Listers To Fly Through The Air With The Greatest Of Difficulty

· Here's what we can tell you about NBC's Celebrity Circus, possibly the most significant televised amateur circus event in recent history: Joey Fatone will be ringmaster. Scheduled to appear: Christopher Knight, Rachel Hunter, Antonio Sabato Jr., Blu Cantrell, and Jason "Wee Man" Acuna, whom we'll assume will be fired at some point from the Lil' Caesar's Cannon of Doom™. [Variety] More »

President Honors Veteran In Game Show Format

If you were wondering why everyone running for president was talking like a wrestler yesterday instead of retaining some semblance of dignity, you'll be happy to find out the candidates were merely practicing for a new presidential tradition begun by George W. Bush: Appearing on a TV game show and cracking jokes. That might sound a little cheesy, but it was for a good cause. The president, you see, wanted to honor an Iraq veteran with the sort of dignity only host Howie Mandel can conjure on Deal Or No Deal. "Are you ready to get some acknowledgement for your hard work and bravery?" Mandel asked. Oh, sure, what the hell: More »

'The Insider' Sends Undercover Reporter Deep Into The Dangerous World Of 'Deal Or No Deal' Briefcase Models

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He's A Pineapple

· For those of you who couldn't get enough of Deal Or No Deal's John (aka Mr. I Can Do 200 Of These), here's another clip of the retired New York City "gahbage" man whose battles with The Dealer are fast becoming the thing of legend. More »

I Can Do 200 Of These!

· Please believe us when we say that we're not regular viewers of Deal Or No Deal. That said, dig (if you will) the ridiculous gamesmanship on display between The Dealer and the retired New York City garbage (gahbage!) man who dared take him on. Fugghedaboutit! More »

Ellen DeGeneres To Put 'Deal' Models In Sensible Lesbianwear

Ellen DeGeneres promises to liven up the Deal or No Deal proceedings when she makes a guest appearance on the hit NBC game show. But unlike past guests, like Donald "The Banker" Trump and Celine "Open Da Case!" Dion, the canine-regifter will join the show's Pyramid of Hot Briefcasemodels. TVGuide.com reports: More »

Briefcase No. 2 Breaks Her Silence On The Inhumane Working Conditions At 'Deal Or No Deal'

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Study Finds Family TV Hour Sexier And Deadlier Than Ever

"Family hour"—the sacred block of TV programming between 8 and 9 p.m. that for generations has given parents a handy tool for avoiding direct and awkward communication with their children—has been found to contain higher incidents of sex, violence, and cursing than ever before, a study conducted by the Parents Television Council has found. From the Reuters report: More »

Charlize Theron Powerless Against Corruptive Obsession With Howie Mandel

As if the grief of this week weren't already about to swallow our heavy hearts whole, People rocks our world by demolishing our last shred of hope that good might eventually triumph. Charlize Theron, who so courageously uglied herself up to win an Oscar, is now reportedly locked in the jaws of an even more terrible monster: Howie Mandel. A poisonous, soul-destroying addiction to the Deal or no Deal video game has reduced Theron to hiding in her trailer, feverishly playing with faux-Howie, waving off director Paul Haggis's questions about a scene, and wantonly ignoring his unwelcome pleas for her to take the money and run. More »

Layoffs 2.0: NBC Lops Off 700 Heads, Wants To Clone Howie Mandel

The media world is still awaiting NBC Universal executioner Jeff Zucker's "town hall" meeting with his employees, in which he will calmly bar the doors to the "hall," step up to the podium, and then announce that 700 or so (or 5%, for you percentage junkies) of his beloved underlings aren't getting out of their meeting alive. But once the blood is mopped from the floors and the guillotine baskets are cleared of severed heads, how does this affect you, the person who doesn't particularly care about corporate streamlining enabling a faceless multimedia conglomerate to take bold, more cost-efficient steps (cutely named NBCU 2.0) into the brave new digital world? The WSJ reports on the revised mandate given to NBC Uni's fourth-place TV division (sub. req'd.): More »

The 'Deal or No Deal' Banker Strikes Again

Earlier in the week we introduced you to the Deal or No Deal Banker's Blog, in which the famously silent silhouette shares his world view with the adoring masses. In his latest post, it appears just a few months spent living in the shadows of Howie Mandel's large, bald head has quickly taken its toll on the Alan Greenspan of the game show set: More »