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New York, 8:27 PM
Tue Dec 8
47 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of KillMeNow no longer has a future in journalism KillMeNow no longer has a future in journalism
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    I worked for the author of that memo. She was the worst boss I ever had. The premium example of mediocrity failing upwards.
     Reply
    KillMeNow no longer has a future in journalism was starred KillMeNow no longer has a future in journalism was unstarred
    Image of oopsidoo oopsidoo
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    looked for job; peed in editor's coffee cup; jerked off in bathroom


    sounds like the people needing productivity training are the ones writing that memo. Or maybe they're trying to get as many people as possible to quit over this so they can go cheap on the severance packages. Crazy like a fox!

     Reply
    oopsidoo was starred oopsidoo was unstarred
    Image of Weegee's bored Weegee's bored
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    What we have here is the exact reason for people like Jayson Blair. Just make it fucking up and see how long you can go without getting caught.
     Reply
    Weegee's bored was starred Weegee's bored was unstarred
    Image of Iceland Spar Iceland Spar
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    I want to feel bad, but all I feel is - welcome to the billable hour jouranlists!!!
     Reply
    Iceland Spar was starred Iceland Spar was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    01/30/09

    @Iceland Spar: Sure, just make sure they get paid three to four times what they're making now.


    Fucking lawyers.

     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    So, correct me if I'm wrong, but won't every member of management now spend all of their time reading copies of EVERY employee's schedule, which will now be sent in QUINTUPLICATE to five separate people?


    Won't this vastly reduce the productivity of "management"? I put "management" in quotes because the only people offensively stupid enough to do this are completely unsuited to run any sort of people at all. Maybe a llama farm?

     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    is that a whole day or just the morning
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    With papers pressing for shorter stories, 375 words may be the most substantial thing a reporter gets to write all day . . .

    . . . and with the promise that at least 5 additional editors will be reading the memos, they could draw the largest audience, too. *sigh*
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of Hamilton Nolan Hamilton Nolan
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    "Pow-wowed with Dave about year-end crime stories - I get homicides!"
     Reply
    Hamilton Nolan was starred Hamilton Nolan was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    Maybe i'm just paranoid, but it looks to me like someone's looking for evidence to shitcan people.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of oneinsixbillion oneinsixbillion
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    I'm with middle management here. This: "daily e-mail would lay out specifically what you accomplished that day, what you need to finish or follow up on the next day, and what you plan to do that next day" will increase productivity for sure. It's a recession. People need to be productive.
     Reply
    oneinsixbillion was starred oneinsixbillion was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    01/30/09

    @oneinsixbillion: Or they can, you know, spend the time that it takes to write the email to actually do their job.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of Kid Twist Kid Twist
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    This memo is just an excuse to make all that YouTube watching seem work-related. Nice try.
     Reply
    Kid Twist was starred Kid Twist was unstarred
    Image of BullfightsOnAcid BullfightsOnAcid
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    Read memo; come to the realization that my life is not what it had hoped to be; come to the conclusion that I am better off dead. Get chair; put noose around my neck; write email describing my suicide; hit send; jump off chair.
     Reply
    BullfightsOnAcid was starred BullfightsOnAcid was unstarred
    Image of Choire Choire
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    The management of that newspaper should all be fired. And everyone involved should storm into parent company Schurz Communications Inc.'s offices with pitchforks and torches.
     Reply
    Choire was starred Choire was unstarred
    Image of PandoraSpocks PandoraSpocks
    01/30/09

    @Choire: And rockets! I want a rocket launcher!
     Reply
    PandoraSpocks was starred PandoraSpocks was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    01/30/09

    @PandoraSpocks:


    Somebody might be made to pay, but you could also end up with a severe Cockburn.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of HeyThatsMyBike HeyThatsMyBike
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    Clearly this guy hates his editors. Although it's an ingenious way to dodge layoffs, because if I had to read 15 of these every day I'd just quit.
     Reply
    HeyThatsMyBike was starred HeyThatsMyBike was unstarred
    Image of anonymousryan anonymousryan
    01/30/09

    In reply to Possibly The Most Enraging Newspaper Memo Yet
    Apparently, reporters no longer get to eat lunch or use the bathroom.
     Reply
    anonymousryan was starred anonymousryan was unstarred
    Image of lilbobbytables lilbobbytables
    01/30/09

    @anonymousryan: 'Course not! They don't get paid to pee!!!


    And that Clark Kent fellow, he never needs lunch. Now that is dedication!

     Reply
    lilbobbytables was starred lilbobbytables was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    01/30/09

    @anonymousryan: OR take time to write the memo accounting for how they spend their time.
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of Better to Eat You With Better to Eat You With
    01/30/09

    @naugahydeinplainsight: My memo would end with, "Wasted forty-five minutes typing this memo." Then I would promptly be fired, but it would be a fun way to go.
     Reply
    Better to Eat You With was starred Better to Eat You With was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    01/30/09

    @Better to Eat You With: For that level of detail I suspect reporters will have to take memo-breaks throughout their day. That will help productivity!
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
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