Lady screenwriters? Just a thought: If you don't want people to fixate on your sexuality maybe don't blurt out to a Times writer, "We've all seen each other naked."

Or call your drunken limousine rides "super porno."

But having talked about your work on a would-be series called Sluts, and having dubbed yourselves "The Fempire," it sounded a bit disingenuous when you all complained about "pressure to look photogenic in a way that is not demanded of male screenwriters."

That's surely true of the Femperors. But these aren't hermit screenwriters, hunkered down in Los Angeles apartments, avoiding the sort of Times reporters who would call them "gorgeous" in the second paragraph.

No, these are women with moxie, and ambition. This profile has the feel of, oh, a group bid to launch some sort of lady Entourage, maybe? The photogenic, novelist author of the Times piece would fit snugly into such a project.

Whatever their specific dreams, Entourage-scale aspirations will be judged with the likes of Adrian Grenier and Jeremy Piven in mind. As Cody knows all too well, making those sorts of references and comparisons is utterly second-nature to viewers. And one suspects Cody and her friends, despite protestations to the contrary, don't need to be reminded of it.

Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger, formerly Anna Wintour's assistant at Vogue.

Their Pitch: A coming of age tale of an aspiring journalist who becomes overwhelmed by the glamorous world of women's magazine only to regain her moral footing.
The Real Pitch: A roman a clef about Weisberger's time at Vogue under Anna Wintour. Turns out Anna's a bit of a bitch.
Critical Take: "This reviewer devoured last year's frothy sensation, The Nanny Diaries, and despite the overwrought hype, this season's The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger is no Nanny Diaries." [USA Today]

4% Famous by Deborah Schoeneman, formerly of New York.

Their Pitch: A young, endearingly awkward woman learns the pitfalls of the New York gossip scene while searching for her place in the city.
The Real Pitch: Four-percent is the magic number for enjoying the perks of fame without losing one's moral bearings.
Critical Take: "Schoeneman's occasional attempts at social critique—for instance, the observation that very thin girls may be on Ritalin—come off more like life-style tips, and the novel's many veiled references to actual people make it read something like an extended blind item." [New Yorker]

Tabloid Love: Looking for Mr. Right in All the Wrong Places by Bridget Harrison, formerly of the Post

Their Pitch: British lady-reporter learns that love doesn't come easy in the Big Apple.
The Real Pitch: Bridget Harrison's veiled memoir of her time at the Post. Worth reading for the references to her New York love, Jesse Angelo, now the Post's managing editor.
Critical Take: "Harrison's depictions of her fish-out-of-water hijinks lift this sharp yet tenderhearted memoir above the predictable chick-lit crop." [Elle.com]

Sex and The City, Candace Bushnell, formerly of the New York Observer

Their Pitch: An original book about lives of glamorous and successful single women in New York trying to balance their career and personal lives.
The Real Pitch: This was the original. It has so much to account for.
Critical Take: "In small doses these essays are brain candy that will appeal equally to urban romantics and anti-romantics." [Publisher's Weekly]

• hi young and vivacious gawker. here's a photo of perez hilton at his party earlier tonight in nyc. celebrating something. my gift to you. maybe just credit it to me, and plug my book (the real meaning of life). people have heard of it, except not really. and be gentle. thanks, David Seaman

• Urgent in re: Race-Baiting Craigslist announcement #392787232

  Hello:

  A most disturbing help-wanted announcement currently on Craigslist alleges that Gawker is teaming up with Jossip to create a new, race-baiting blog to be called Milk.

  I am copying the announcement below in this e-mail.

  Please reply to everybody receiving THIS message stating whether you actually intend to launch Milk or if this is some kind of a prank somebody is pulling on you.

  Notice that I have included in the cc list an official of the NAACP, and Al Sharpton.

  Your promptest possible response is expected, and refusal to supply one would become part of eventual news reports on this topic.

  Note also that if you were to inform us all that this was a prank, we would expect that you would most energetically pursue those placing this announcement and any such announcements in the future, and we would expect never to see such a site as Milk started by Gawker and/or Jossip or any of their affiliates. In other words, were you to claim now that the announcement was a prank in order to throw us off the trail, there would be a comeuppance over that for you.

  I apologize in advance if you knew nothing of this matter and actually object to the placement of that CL ad in your name. If you are decent, you will understand why we are being so forceful in this matter. You will also contact craig@craigslist.org and have the announcement removed immediately.

  Sincerely,

  Scott Rose

• Don't worry I'm black so this isn't racist. I'm walking up to 125th on 8th ave and in the gravel open parking lot next to the magic johnson theater are assembled a group of people for a funeral. I see a "prayer station" so I as whose funeral it is. Homegirl says oh its a play. My face contorts live I've NEVER done. She says, "see that's what we want to draw attention" I walk away in shock disbelief terror etc. As I leave the actor who is the widow starts wailing progressively louder. I hear this over my ipod because it gets louder and longer. I hate us. I think I hate me for drawing more attention to it in hopes of something incredibly bitchy (via the comments if nothing) to read at work tomorrow.
• Hey Gawker,

  I wanted to check in, it's been a while since we talked. I found your blog to be a valuable source of information, and I liked your take on how would you blow up america.

  We have new features and resources coming on line all of the time. Our most recent developments out of our pipeline include the ability to send any property searched on our website to your cell phone... [etc. etc.]

• playgirl has a website - playgirl.com.
• New York magazine error: If you compare page 53 of the Ten Little Cities feature in the new issue w/ the online version, you can see that #9 Cuckoo Club is missing from the web version. Probably because they got the item totally wrong. The Cuckoo Club party is still going strong @ Maritime, not at Gansevoort, at least it was 4 nights ago. They must have gotten confused w/ the early evening party ONO does.
• Dear Gawker Media,

  Thank you for not running any stories on the Gawker site about the "news" of Caroline Hanover and her facebook antics. While I figured that schlock like that would end up on one of your sites (I just checked Wonkette about three minutes ago), I am very impressed that you chose to bypass the coverage, despite the story being on the front page of every second-tier newspaper in New York City. This shows a lot of diginity and class on your behalf, and by not running the story, you have proven yourself better than several other institutions, including Harvard University, The Harvard Crimson, Slate, the Washington Post, and CNN to name a few. As an avid reader and frequent commenter, I greatly appreciate this and hope that you continue to keep up the good work and high standards I have come to expect.

• HI TONIGHT THE MGR. (MARTIN) AT A PRIVATE PARTY ON THE ROOF AT SUSHI SAMBA # 87 7TH AVE SOUTH.. NYC. FOUND OUT THAT ONE FAKE BIIL CUNNINGHAM FROM THE NY TIMES WAS IN EATING AND DRINKING FOR FREE WHEN CONFRONTED PETER GIANQUINTO RAN FOR THE DOOR SO FAST MARTIN DID NOT HAVE A CHANCE TO "HAVE HIM ARESTED" HE AS ALWAYS HAS GAINED ENTRANCE PLUS 2 OR 3 GUESTS WITH THE POWER OF USING THE NY TIMES AS HIS SCAM... THEY CAN ALMOST NEVER GET TO CALL BACK TO CHECK OUT IF BILL REALLY DID CALL PETER G ALSO SCAMS CONCERT TICKETS BY USING DAVE BROWN MGT OR OTHER BAND MGR. NAMES FOR COMP SEAT THAT HE THEN SELLS AT THE GARDEN FOR TOP $$ A CALL TO SUSHI SAMBA WILL PROVE THIS TRUE GOOD LUCK IN LOCKING UP THE SCAM ARTIST....
• Reggie Cameron has sent you a News Story from the PoliceOne daily News.
  Message: This is just too good. I wish all I had to do is give a BJ to get out of tickets/arrest! And on a cop..i''''ve got a semi just thinking about it
• i know i can't substantiate this claim with a photo or any other witnesses, but take it as you will: today, when when i realized i couldn't catch the 4 train from 86th street due to floods, i headed west in hopes of catching the 2 train downtown on the other side of the park. before i could get there, i black SUV pulled up as I was waiting at a light with a woman trying, hopelessly, to catch a cab. the man driving was the actor kevin kline. he offered both of us a ride....said he was headed to midtown. the other woman was a physical therapist in her thirties. he told us in the car "in times like these, we all just need to help each other out". He told me about the early days of his acting career, I told him about my band [NAME REDACTED] and invited him to our show at Cake Shop on the 31st of August. He said he plays in a band himself, is a big music fan and would love to! We'll see...anyways, I figure most people only write in to report the moments celebrities would rather not have hit the papers and that they deserved credit where credit's due. Believe me or not, Kevin Kline was offering rides to strangers to help out when the subway was down.
• Deborah Schoeneman added you as a friend on Facebook... Deborah added you as a friend on Facebook. We need you to confirm that you are, in fact, friends with Deborah.

  To confirm this friend request, follow the link below:
  http://www.facebook.com/n/?reqs.php

  Thanks,
  The Facebook Team

It's hard to impress Jay McInerney with fancy wines, but that didn't stop restaurateur Ed "Jean Luc" Kleefield from trying the other night at his new Prime 103 in East Hampton. McInerney, the wine columnist for House & Garden, was celebrating the publication of the paperback version of his post-9/11 novel, "A Good Life," with his wife Anne Hearst, new Hampton Style magazine editor Deborah Schoeneman, Le Bernardin chef Eric Ripert and his wife Sandra, designer Nicole Miller and her husband Kim Taipale, society columnist Debbie Bancroft and writer/radio host Steven Gaines.

Vintage Evening [Page Six]

Sadly, we are not in possession of the emails—but we have read them on someone else's screen. Indeed they were harsh. You see, Deb was out hawking her book about the gossip world, and dared to proffer opinions about the general ethics of the Page Six crew after that whole Jared Paul Stern thing went down. (Like, on CNN.) Opinions, "Jane" asserted, that Deb had no authority to express, as she had no information whatsoever to inform them. Crazy!

Well it was a sensitive time.

Fortunately, Deb—like Eric Shaeffer!—has been taking lots of yoga and learning about forgiveness.

Touching, no? We only hope "Jane," whoever she is, can find it in her heart to accept this sort of non-apology. Also, we hope she finds love one day.

• Tabloidism is allegedly the most radical change in the New York Observer's history. [NYO]
  
• A year after the super-successful acquisition of About.com, the NYT has partnered with Monster.com. Do these folks get the web or what? [Boston Globe]
  
• They sure do, says Tom Scocca. [NYO]
  
• Charlie Gibson finally wins a week; meanwhile, could Katie Couric finally be winning over Alessandra Stanley? [NYT]
  
• Deb Schoeneman gets the Head Counselor job at Hampton Style this summer. It's like a magazine, only with afternoon beach 'n' drinks time! [WWD]
  
• How profligate are Republicans? They're willing to drop seven grand on a speech from Joel Stein. [LAT]
  

Update: We hear they've also picked up Alexandra "daughter of Tom" Wolfe (ex-Observer, WSJ).

I don't want him to go over the Reichenbach Falls.

Ian Spiegelman: Try missionary once in awhile; you might be surprised.

Chuck Klosterman: Comparing Dee Dee Ramone to some punk from Ratt? You should be gnawed by rats, asshole.

Deborah Schoeneman: Up here in Bangor, gossip tends to revolve around lobstering and axe-murdering. Pick either.

Kate White: If it's right there in the title, someone's thighs better actually catch on fire by chapter three.

James Frey: Smoke crack.

J.T. Leroy: Exist.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: Ah, go ahead and toss that fucker over Reichenbach Falls.

Don't kill Harry Potter, authors urge Rowling [Reuters]

[Photo: Getty Images]

[Full article via WSJ after the jump]

Pity the ink-stained wretch. While "The Devil Wears Prada," with its glossy magazine milieu, became a runaway bestseller and then a hit movie, recent novels by veterans of New York tabloid papers seemed to carry the stigma of old media. A trio of titles set around the newsroom — "Tabloid Love," "4% Famous" and "Welcome to Yesterday" — all failed to entice readers.

Perhaps the authors should have stuck to nonfiction: "The Glass Castle," a memoir by celebrity reporter Jeanette Walls, sold more than 200,000 copies. New York Post gossip scribe Paula Froehlich's self-help title "Secrets of the Rich and Famous," also did reasonably well, but Post colleague Ian Speigelman's novel, "Yesterday," couldn't gain traction.

For fans interested in the nonfiction aspects of the business, Monday marks the launch of TV's "Tabloid Wars," set behind the scenes of the New York Daily News. Bravo executives likely hope the show's realistic elements will take it further than the last series to use the setting, 2000's Dick Wolf/NBC drama "Deadline." Pedigree aside, "Deadline" failed to deliver. —7/23/06

We don't know about the others, but this is the second event Schoeneman's recently pulled out of; she was scheduled for a roundtable discussion over lunch for the Bergdorf Goodman quarterly (what, you're not a subscriber?). The other panelists were Ian Spiegelman and Jared Paul Stern. Interestingly, Stern apparently gave Schoeneman an earful about her numerous television appearances commenting on Payola Six, in which she handed Stern her own guilty verdit (which is perhaps justified, but not when simultaneously promoting your own book about the gossip industry). And who really wants to deal with a pissy fedora over a nice lunch?

Or she could be avoiding Spiegelman. Equally plausible, equally wise.

Update: Contrary to linkage below and elsewhere, Deborah emails to clarify that she did not cancel, but actually read in front of a large crowd last night. The Bergdorf lunch was never scheduled, she notes.

Ex-Gossipers Provide Gossip Column Fodder [GalleyCat]

I was walking around the gleaming halls of Orange County's cultural mecca, South Coast Plaza. As I passed the DKNY store, I saw an incongruous man in a tux and a tray of champagne flutes. Next to him was a poster version of the cover of 4% Famous. Behind that, sitting forlornly at a small book-signing table in the empty store, was Deborah Schoeneman. I felt so bad for our New York girl all alone in a mid-market retail store in SoCal. I wanted to go in and say, "Listen, I'm from New York too. I feel your pain." But then it occurred to me that that would be rather embarrassing for the both of us. So, I just said to my friend, "I know who that is." He didn't give a shit.

Well, yes, we suppose that's exposure. Of a sort.

Earlier: Deborah Schoeneman for DKNY

"For me, it's great exposure, because the kind of woman who wears DKNY clothes is the kind of woman who's going to like my book," says author Deborah Schoeneman, whose novel, 4% Famous (Shaye Areheart, $21.95), is about the world of gossip columnists in New York. She has been appearing at DKNY stores across the country.

That is to say, Paula Froelich doesn't wear DKNY.

What's in Store for Chick-Lit Lovers? Authors [USA Today via Galleycat]

On Friday night, socialites Boykin Curry and Celerie Kemble hosted the book party for Deborah Schoeneman's 4% Famous, her thinly veiled account of life as a gossip slave. Because you are only as good as your condos, the party was held on Curry's terrace high atop Central Park south, in a building more gilded than Dubai — a perfect setting for a novel about underpaid, professional alcoholics. After the jump, lovely photographer Blaise Kearsley captures media whores and Moby.

Deborah's parents, Sandy and Morris Schoeneman (above), never read gossip columns. Sandy says, "I told [Deborah] not to marry anyone too glitzy or too handsome." This motherly advice would explain why Deborah dated Rocco DiSpirito and gallavants with Moby.

They'll never admit it, not even to each other, but none of these people have actually read the book.

New York mag features editor Jared Hohlt will soon finish his own roman-a-clef, a sordid tale of an Approval Matrix gone wrong.

In an effort to protect Anchovie the dog, wee Sadie Kargman lunges for Moby.

Schoeneman's team, publicist Sarah Chance, hostess Celerie Kemble, and agent David Halpern, discuss their next plan of attack: shellfish at Milos.

Julia Stiles was scheduled to attend, but she backed out at the last minute. Fortunately, this guy made it. Thanks, guy!

Deborah sells books by any means necessary.

ABC correspondent Dan Harris came to the party with his girlfriend Fernanda Niven, but she doesn't like being photographed (her father is Sotheby's auctioneer Jamie Niven and her grandfather is actor David Niven, as if that's any excuse).

Did you expect this shit to be sponsored by Twinings?

Real estate mogul Don and Vivian Resnicoff (parents of Deborah's boyfriend) discuss dowry with Morris Schoeneman.

Ted Roosevelt and Serena Torrey are far more pretty than you. Don't worry, they know it.

New York senior editor Carl Swanson edits his best attempt at a "gossip" column, though he knows it won't translate into a very interesting book.

What we hear actually went down: Schoeneman asked a colleague if a certain Page Six staffer was at the party, as they had been sending her very hostile emails. Alas, no Sixers showed. So it was relief, not nervousness. Though that'll likely change soon.

Novel Just Might Be Thisclose to Real Page Sixcapades [R&M (2nd item)]