Octo-Grandma Tired of Babysitting, Suggests Adoption

Tough love: Nadya Suleman's mom denied her babysitting services; Christian Bale's tantrums get one celebrity hot and Mr. T has a message for unemployed pansies. More »

The 4 worst athlete-backed startups of all time

Peyton Manning, Derek Jeter and LeBron James today announced they've joined an $8.6 million funding round for social network Weplay. Weplay isn't going to work out — vertical social networks are so 2007 — but at least the sports-star troika can take heart in knowing they're following the same path as other fading jock stars. A bubble ago, John Elway, Michael Jordan, and Mike Piazza also let slick schemers take advantage of their egos and cash, funneling them into ill-thought-out, poorly timed investments on the Web. Our three favorite athlete-startup bloopers, below. More »

Kate Moss' Scary Side

Jeter Bringing Poor Performance To A Sports Club Near You

Yankees shortstop and and King of New York Derek Jeter is lending his image to 24 Hour Fitness, which plans to open three Jeter-themed gyms in the city. He'll be helping to design everything down to the tile! The timing of the announcement is impeccable, since just yesterday Jeter was revealed to be the worst fielding shortstop in baseball by a scientific study from researchers at the University of Pennsylvania. Learn to boot ground balls and miss line drives because of your poor range, only at 24 Hour Fitness! The Post, however, found a clever rebuke for those pointy-headed scientists: "'I don't know what they're smoking down at Penn,' said Yankees fan Mike." Check and mate! [NYP]

Former assistant claims Jessica Alba got herpes from Derek Jeter. Or, you know, pretty much anyone else she has ever done it with, because at least 21% of the adult population has herpes. [L.A. Rag Mag]

Derek Jeter Gets Treated Like A Knick

The date: May 24th 2:30am More »

BREAKING: Famous Athlete Gets Plenty of Tail

A popular sports figure is also popular with the ladies. More »

Lohan's "LR" Nemesis: Aspiring Klepto

Lindsay Ratowsky — the former assistant to Lindsay Lohan, outed as the "LR" that Lohan rails against in her crazy rage-mail — has her own darkly criminal past. Ratowsky may be temporarily protected by her status as new assistant to Jessica Biel, but if Biel really is sorta "dating" NY Yankee Derek Jeter, Ratowsky could find herself drawn dangerously close to Lohan's home turf. (Incidentally, we personally spotted Derek Jeter sunning his golden physique on a Dominican Republic beach this past weekend, and he was complaining about some non-Biel chick he was trying to bone.) Anyway! Goldenfiddle runs a reader mail detailing Ratowsky's extremely amateurish attempt to steal a boutique necklace while masquerading as Lohan's assistant, even though she had already parted ways with the other Lindsay. Expect her to try and lift Jeter's 2000 World Series ring if not carefully monitored. More »

'Esquire' Now Publishing Alex Rodriguez's Slash Fic

Keith J. Kelly reports on the forthcoming issue of Esquire: More »