Michael's Dermatologist: "To The Best Of My Knowledge, I'm Not The Father"

This morning, GMA aired an interview with Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist (for whom Debbie Rowe once worked). He told Diane Sawyer, "To the best of my knowledge, I'm not the father" of Prince and Paris. [Jezebel]

Diane Sawyer Flabbergasted By Holocaust Love Liar

This morning's Good Morning America interview of Herman Rosenblat, the big liar author of fabricated Holocaust love story and 'memoir' Angels at the Fence, is even more entertaining than the earlier leaked footage. More »

Salma Hayek's Breasts Designated As New U.N. Ambassadors To Starving Children

Though her stint on 30 Rock has been drubbed throughout the blogosphere, Salma Hayek's campaign to win over television viewers has just taken a startling new turn: breastfeeding strangers on camera. More »

Diane Sawyer Still Obviously Intoxicated

The Inaugural Balls went on all night and it looks like Good Morning America's Diane Sawyer enjoyed the open bars. Thanks, ABC, for not pulling her off the air despite all this slurred nonsense. More »

Jeremy Piven Fishes For Redemption With Diane Sawyer

Maybe Jeremy Piven isn't off the mercury—after all, his attempt to justify his recent behavior to Good Morning America was oilier than a soy sauce-slathered eel roll. More »

Jeremy Piven On His Mercury Poisoning: 'I'm Not a Doctor, I Don't Even Play One On TV'

A very not-mercury-poisoned-looking Jeremy Piven, who quit his high-profile Broadway show Speed-the-Plow using the old too much sushi excuse, managed to drag himself out of bed at dawn to go on Good Morning America today. Feh. More »

John McCain's Cold War With Tina Fey

• Tina Fey was "frosty" and "awkward" with John McCain on the Saturday Night Live set. Which is weird because McCain has been so polished and friendly in all his other televised appearances. [Scoop]
• Barack Obama has sewn up the crucial Tyra Banks endorsement. Presumably, the talk-show host waited until the last minute to keep us all in suspense. [Us]
• A "snarling" Diane Sawyer is asking her gang, the Good Morning Americas, why Barbara Walters and her posse of simps at The View are moving in on GMA's territory. Page Six is forecasting a bloody turf war. [P6]
• Unsurprisingly, Shannen Doherty is not too concerned with the future of print media or of the modeling skanks at Radar's party. [P6]
• Peaches Geldof "forgot" to pay for something before removing it from a store. For the fourth time. The latest shoplifting accident was at a clothing boutique in East London. [Sun]
• While trying to reconcile with ex-husband Kevin Federline, Britney Spears is communicating with her terrible paparazzo ex, from her crazy days. "Adnan searches the Internet for photos of her and then calls and comments on her outfits and her hair, and she loves it." [National Enquirer]
• Joaquin Phoenix is acting weird. Drunk/high weird? Unclear. [P6]
• Mickey Rourke was going to kill this guy who raped his friend, but was stopped by a priest. No further details are available at this time, or probably ever. [Sun]

Diane Sawyer Likes a Vibrating Phone, Sam Champion Does Too

So here's a clip of the Good Morning America team talking about their cellphone ringtones. They have "funky little disco tunes" and "computer gibberish." But Diane Sawyer's? Viiiibrate. "Ohhhh," coos noted geigh person Sam Champion. And you can just see everyone go to a summertime place where the sangria flows like, um, wine and the oohs and ahhs come fast and frequent.

Batman Bale's Family Assault Interview

Attn Celebrity Interviewers: 'Meet the Press' Gig Still Open

After the election, Tom Brokaw will end his stint as host of Meet the Press (which is too bad, because as smug as the dude is, he's been good). Then no one—least of all NBC—knows what will happen. Howard Kurtz seems to think Ted Koppel might get the job, and Koppel has not ruled that out. But he is old, and he retired from regular TV news to do 50-part documentaries on China. If NBC plans on poaching someone so expensive from ABC, they should go after Diane Sawyer, who is bored with Good Morning America and pissed off at the network for sending Charlie Gibson to the evening news and keeping her in the morning ghetto. DC's elite will be able to get over their horror as the prospect of a lady in the Meet the Press chair by reminding themselves that she's a Republican hack who once dated Kissinger. And so the Sunday Morning Circle Jerk will continue.

Thanks, Diane Sawyer

The ABC anchor was supposed to protect a hooker's anonymity, but the interview left too many clues.

Diane Keaton Says 'Fucking' On GMA! Are You Not Entertained?

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Diane Keaton Terrifies Diane Sawyer, Curses On Morning TV

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Nicole Richie Has "Never Had An Eating Disorder"

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Nicole Richie: "I Don't Take Anything Now"

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Diane Sawyer 360: Like Sam and Diane, If Sam Were, You Know...

This is never gonna happen for a couple million reasons, but isn't it pretty to think so? Tom Shales speculates as to Diane Sawyer's future:

Let's say, though, that Sawyer stays at "GMA" (though her agreement allows her to leave before summer). The show will never have a shot at No. 1 with those two at the helm, so what could be done to rejuvenate it? Sawyer needs a partner worthy of her-a male partner to give the show variety and sexual tension. How about this: Anderson Cooper. Languishing and almost vanishing within the stuffy confines of CNN, super Cooper needs and deserves a much better showcase. Imagine Cooper and Sawyer side-by-side at 7 a.m. They'd be the most gorgeous and telegenic couple in the history of the morning news.

And the sexual tension? Palpable. Oh cruel fate, why would you deny this pairing? More »

Media Bubble: Again With The Layoffs