Just a quick note about a technical-type situation that will be going down late tonight: Due to what's being referred to as a "server move" by the home office, parts of this site (comments, links, and what-have-you) may be inaccessible or not function properly until midday-ish tomorrow, with the possibility that the…
Did this morning's tale of the former assistant who was once driven to vomit by her boss's cruelty hit a little too close to home, dredging up painful, bile-flavored memories of your own? Then you need a new job! The Defamer Job Board is here just in time to save you from future esophageal erosion with this week's…
It's a dilemma we've all faced: You hate your boss with the white-hot intensity of a thousand begrudgingly fetched caramel macchiatos, but murdering him could result in a lengthy, career-stalling jail sentence, and messily killing yourself inside his just-detailed Lexus would just give the cruel taskmaster the…
From time to time, we find it's helpful (we are here for no reason if not to serve) to remind both new readers and grizzled veterans of the comments box alike how one can gain access to the exciting and semiprivileged world of official Defamer commenters. Sound like the next few minutes of your life are going to be…
Ahoy, job seekers! Remember when we introduced you to the brand-spanking-new Defamer Job Board, our attempt to speed along your slow march to eventual Hollywood domination? Of course you do. From time to time, we'll be spotlighting some of the listings. Just like this:
Because we realize that there are only so many staplers hurled from the hand of a displeased boss one's skull can successfully withstand before call-rolling motor functions are impaired, we're happy to introduce the Defamer Job Board, a service to help you trade in that old, abusive model for a newer, shinier, and…
Hi there! While you choke down that subpar Cobb salad at your desk, hoping that the people you're eavesdropping on during your boss's lunchtime conference call can't hear your chewing, why not multitask by participating in a totally fun survey for a chance to win a $300 Jet Blue gift card? To enter, just send an email…
Those of you who tuned into last night's edition of zeitgeisty, karaoke superstar contest American Idol know that our fearless leader Mark's tireless campaigning on behalf of long shot contestant Sanjaya Malakar was not done in vain, as another dark-skinned effeminate ended up being sacrificed in his place.…
Hello. This is your Defamer associate editor, just here to inform you that Mark is away today on "business," i.e. camped outside CBS Television City on Beverly Blvd. holding a large, glittery poster board reading "SANJAYA ROCKS MY WORLD!!!," eagerly anticipating attendance at tonight's American Idol elimination…
Because the only way we know how to watch the Academy Awards is drunk to the point of blindness on cheap champagne while pounding a laptop keyboard with clenched fists and cursing a cruel and uncaring Creator for delivering undeserved victory into the hands of the artistically bankrupt, we will be liveblogging the…
We know how much you love to hear about our misadventures with internet access (why do we always believe Time Warner when they say they won't hit us again? We really need to take Courtney Love's New Year's resolutions to heart and stop being their doormat), so we thought we'd let you know that six eastside cafes…
Greetings, friends! Your associate editor here just checking in to make sure your transition into 2007 is as pleasant as possible. Blanket? Cookie? Britney Spears' vagina? Don't hesitate to ask. Mark is still on vacation, possibly readying himself as we speak for the pilgrimage to the Apollo Theater to pay his last…
Greetings, fellow Time Magazine People of the Year! While the rest of this year's honorees are out tobogganing on picturesque hillsides or sliding their toes between the white sands of an all-inclusive resort, we keepers of the cyber community flame hold steadfast at our posts, lest a single Paris Hilton assflap…
Hi, gang! As even the most of godless of Hollywood heathens is well aware, Monday is Christmas, the day when Christians celebrate the birth of the Messiah by giving each other things they bought on sale at Target, drinking enough rum-spiked glasses of eggnog to make spending time with their families seem bearable,…
Since we fear that you think we're taking the rest of the day off any time it takes more than five minutes for new content to appear, we'd like to let you know that we've been having some technical difficulties accessing the interwebs (we don't know whether to blame sunspots or Time Warner incredibly slow takeover of…
Periodically, it's necessary to take a moment to explain our seemingly complicated and maddeningly semi-exclusive commenting features to new readers unfamiliar with their arcane workings, and to help remind our longtime companions about how things work around here, recognizing that the part of their brains…
After two full days of huddling with the finest minds from both the INS and the International Congress On Black Market Orphan Commerce for a summit addressing what to do about Defamer associate editor Seth Abramovitch's recent purchase of a toddler at a Parisian babymonger's stall, a difficult solution was reached:…
As Mark mentioned last week, I took some time off to explore France's thriving black market baby trade, an impulsive idea that had lodged itself into my brain after having read an enticing Condé Nast Traveller piece entitled, "Paris: Good Food, Good Orphans." As it turns out, parentless Eurotykes are not quite as…
It's been a excellent three days guest-blogging for the absent Seth, peeking into the heretofore mysterious Defamerverse. The tone for the week was pretty much set by my first morning flogging with some of Mark's sharper and longer hair extensions; after that, it was a nonstop carnival of changing his WhiteStrips…
Very late on Saturday night, I received a frantic phone call from Seth, Defamer's tireless, semilegal alien associate editor (we're not sure what a "fuchsia card,' is, but he promises us he has one), in which he babbled something about receiving a "really hot tip" that Angelina Jolie, newly bored with exotic, Third…
