disasters - Gawker

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Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
2012 and Precious Box-Office Takes Prove Worlds' Sadomasochism Fetish Profitable
Fancy Stroller Recall Brings Park Slope to Grinding Halt
Cornell Employees' Email Blunder from Hell
'Tardy for the Party' Live Will Give You Nightmares
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Quake Hits South Pacific. A Warning?
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Rumbles.

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Rozelle’s Bagman
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
I hate when that happens.

/5th grade
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Rozelle’s Bagman was starred

The Real JR
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
I'm figuring the pilots were also on their laptops checking Facebook when they were supposed to be paying attention to Heavy Clouds(tm) and ZOMG!Lava.
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The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred

Wrapitup
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
Will no one consider the feelings of the lava? You struggle valiantly to emerge from the bowels of the earth, you're dying of heat stroke and just when you get some fresh air and you're finally cooling off, a plane lands on top of you.
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Mount_Prion
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
Thankfully, the lava only does periodic damage. So if you time your jumps right, it'll maybe only hit you once.
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The Real JR
11/19/09

@Mount_Prion: I'm praying they were already in a power up.
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SidAndFinancy
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava

In retrospect, using these as runway beacons might have been ill-advised.
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Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
Luckily, Captain Adetokunbo "Sully" Achebe set that plane down like an indentured nanny setting a baby Afrikaner in a crib.
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Claire Buoyant
11/19/09

@Richard Petty Bourgeoisie: Really? I heard that Captain Achebe, who is also the Minister of Transportation, died in the heroic landing attempt. The unfortunate captain had control of US $145 million in rail and road construction funds that now can only be accessed with my help. That's what his cousin, Honorable Arms Akimbo, told me, anyway.
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resipsaloquacious
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
Captain Yllus declined to comment.
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Spirit Fingers
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
Erm, I can't imagine anything more absolutely horrific than landing in lava. I'm sure upon seeing lava approaching out the window, the knowledge of such, would just short out all neurological function. Seriously. Lava has got to be the greatest fear of all second to....well, NOTHING! Well wait maybe....there's lava, and then perhaps being hit and then incinerated by a large meteor, but then, no, scratch that, because lava still wins.
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Dr. Nick
11/19/09

@Spirit Fingers: "I can't imagine anything more absolutely horrific than landing in lava."

Not even President Palin?
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Spirit Fingers promoted this comment Dr. Nick was starred Dr. Nick was unstarred

Spirit Fingers
11/19/09

@Dr. Nick: Hmmm, well. It's questionable if we'd all survive "President Palin," but it's a definite we'd not last a nosedive into friggin lava!

(But President Palin would make me leave the country, and I think Costa Rica has lava. So there's that.)
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Dr. Nick
11/19/09

@Spirit Fingers: we probably wouldn't survive President Palin, but it would be a longer, far more annoying process. At least with lava, you'd know it would be over quickly.
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Spirit Fingers
11/19/09

@Dr. Nick: If by annoying you mean bombarded daily by her stupidity and poorly constructed sentence structure. Seriously, does the woman not even read? I know she "wrote" a book, but has she never actually read the written word? It's like she grew out of Gomer Pyle's rib bone. Heh. Creationism.
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Dr. Nick
11/19/09

@Spirit Fingers: She's the living embodiment of the Peter Principle, except in her case, she kept rising way, way past her level of incompetence.
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Xylo
11/19/09

@Spirit Fingers: "I can't imagine anything more absolutely horrific than landing in lava." Sharks?
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Edited by Xylo at 11/19/09 12:06 PM Xylo was starred Xylo was unstarred

Spirit Fingers
11/19/09

@Xylo: Oooo, good one, sharks. Naw, I still say lava. People have survived shark attacks. While that's damn harrowing, I'm still thinking burning alive (flaying alive, bursting into flame alive!) tops being chomped on by a shark. At least you can fight a shark. If you're ever trapped by lava, what do you do? It's like being in the sun. Like the sun melted on your body. There's no coming back from that.

In doing some quick research, the only way to survive, is to not be in a place with an erupting volcano. at all. Even tourists are told, "Look at this active volcano at your own risk, because it's like a nuclear reactor. with lava."
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New Gonzo Drifter
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
There are always plane accidents/incidents in Goma ... when they quote "lava," they actually mean the hardened lava outlying the area from the eruption of the volcano just outside Goma in '02 ...
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econdave
11/19/09

@New Gonzo Drifter: I'm sure that makes everyone feel better. Instead of worrying about being incinerated in magma, they just have to worry about hitting hardened lava, crashing, and being incinerated from burning jet fuel.
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Unsolicited Advice
11/19/09

In reply to Do Not Build Your Runway Next to the Lava
We had to put the landing strip next to the volcanic fissure! All of the villagers were complaining about noise!
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VioletViolet
11/15/09

In reply to 2012 and Precious Box-Office Takes Prove Worlds' Sadomasochism Fetish Profitable
Still waiting for Fantastic Mr. Fox to reach non-selected cities next weekend. I know Gawker is all, "waah, hipster appeal! hoodie nation!" about it, but I think it looks like a genuinely good movie. #2012
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SpyMagician
11/15/09

In reply to 2012 and Precious Box-Office Takes Prove Worlds' Sadomasochism Fetish Profitable
I’d like to go to the movies, but it gets dark at like 6:00pm now and all movies are about death, dying, when you will die, things dying, living a life that’s crap...

Sorry Hollywood, YouTube wins again. This is the best movie of the past week as far as I am concerned. #2012
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DoctorEcks
11/16/09

@SpyMagician: I absolutely LOVE that clip. #2012
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Helio
11/15/09

In reply to 2012 and Precious Box-Office Takes Prove Worlds' Sadomasochism Fetish Profitable
I have a long standing desire to make it to the end of the world just to see it all crash and burn. The grey and dusty and boring parts is more the post-apocalypse which I sure as hell don't want to suffer through. But pre- and actual apocalypse should be a glorious shit show. Something that barely anyone will live to tell. #2012
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Glib and Bitchy
11/15/09

In reply to 2012 and Precious Box-Office Takes Prove Worlds' Sadomasochism Fetish Profitable
Compare this weekend's Precious take of $6 million on 174 screens ($35,000 per screen) to last weekend's $1.8 million on 18 screens ($100,000 per -- I guess people were sitting in each others laps) and sure, you get a 200+ percent increase in the gross. But you also see a 65% drop in per screen receipts. [www.variety.com]

Nah, I don't know what it means, either.
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Edited by Glib and Bitchy at 11/15/09 8:30 PM Glib and Bitchy was starred Glib and Bitchy was unstarred

ian spiegelman
11/15/09

In reply to 2012 and Precious Box-Office Takes Prove Worlds' Sadomasochism Fetish Profitable
Precious is based on the incredibly awful and embarrassing Push by a hateful presence who calls herself Saffire. She got roughly $500,000 for this holocaust in the early 90's and helped launch the very disastrous trend of first-time authors being paid outsized advances for work that simply was not good.

I don't see why you think the movie version is doing well. Six-million wouldn't cover the production costs of even the lowest crap movie. It's good for writers that "Saffire's" ode to crap writing fails. And I am glad that after getting an outrageous amount of money for the book--which I bet the publisher never earned back--that the movie is failing.

If you want to know why shitty writers are sucking up all the money in publishing--and I don't mean shitty writers who sell best-sellers, but shitty writers who are the darlings of The New Yorker for months--it begins with Saffire.

Stop complimenting the awful movie of her awful book. She's a grotesque, offensive hack. #2012
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Foster Kamer
11/15/09

@ian spiegelman: Ugh. The New Yorker loved it? Of course the fucking New Yorker loved it. Sigh.

Yeah, I could give a shit about Shove or whatever. Its per-screen is, statistically, doing well. I'm not a fan of the movie (and I haven't even seen it). Read the last graf! It's populist hokey heart-tug bullshit marketed well. But I still think Armond White is wrong about Up, and if I ever see him in a bar, I will throw something at him about this.

Also: Ian! Hi!
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Edited by Foster Kamer at 11/15/09 7:43 PM Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred

Facebones
11/15/09

@Foster Kamer: Of course Armond White thinks Precious is terrible. He's a contrarian who thinks Norbit and Little Man are insightful looks at black culture.

(Really. You go look up the reviews on NY Press. I'm not giving him the page views.) #2012
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Phyllis Nefler promoted this comment Facebones was starred Facebones was unstarred

MyNameIsChris
11/15/09

@ian spiegelman: For the amount of money it was made for, and for the amount Lionsgate paid for it, it's doing remarkably well considering the subject matter and the fact that it hasn't even opened beyond limited release yet. This is just factual, quality aside... #2012
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ian spiegelman
11/15/09

@Foster Kamer: Dude, I'm not saying you're a fan. But the flick cost $10 million to make. It doesn't matter that it's doing well per screen. It's losing money fast and won't be in theaters next week. Which is what it deserves.

I think Up looks cool. I'll watch it on HBO. #2012
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ian spiegelman was starred ian spiegelman was unstarred

topsy
11/16/09

@ian spiegelman: So what, she spit on your grandmother? Did you see the movie or were you having your one person hissy fit alone in your living room. Not sure what little personal vendetta you have against the author and, to be frank, I don't give a shit. Your pique at Saffire kept you from a really good movie. Pity. #2012
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topsy
11/16/09

@Foster Kamer: So because a reviewer didn't like your little cartoon, Precious is a an 'awful' movie? An awful movie that you haven't even seen? Why would you want to brag about your complete ignorance? #2012
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Foster Kamer
11/16/09

@topsy: No, Precious is an 'awful' movie because it's emotionally exploitative shame-porn. #2012
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MyNameIsChris
11/16/09

@ian spiegelman: It didn't cost ten to make. Lionsgate paid 5.5 mill for it after it was independently made for less than that. And the marketing has actually been fairly restrained so far although I expect with the success so far they'll put on more of a blitz in hopes of nominations. It literally made the most money ever on an opening weekend for a film in limited release (less than 100 theatres). It ramped up nicely to 175 theatres and still had huge per screens. It's already to nine mill and it hasn't even opened wide. Not only WILL it be in theatres next week, it will be in many more theatres. And the per screen will, of course, drop. It's obviously a financial success, even more so as I would assume it was bought primarily as Oscar bait.

Even if you go with ten million, which I'm assuming you pulled from boxofficemojo and doesn't jive with the public records of Lionsgate, it's STILL a financial success. I'm with you about the quality of the film and it being in the long line of Crash type white guilt offerings... but you're shooting your own argument in the foot trying to act like it's a financial failure. #2012
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