Tonight at 8pm on all the networks you can hear the president talk about a scary war that will surely give you and your children nightmares when you could have been watching Charlie Brown and Linus in a sneaky Jesus Christmas special. Now we have to wait a whole week to see the Peanuts gang as well as the debut of Prep & Landing, the new animated Christmas show produced by Walt Disney. Barack Obama hates Mickey Mouse too!

And guess what is on tomorrow night? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on CBS. Thanks to Obama this gay rights parable will triumph over Charlie Brown's thinly-veiled conversion attempts. While he may hate everything that is holy and American, at least he loves the queers.

If you've ever even been slightly curious about Tim Burton, that ultimate disconsolate son of suburbia who's been inviting us into his gleefully bent movie worlds for 27 years now, rest assured your interest will be sated by the show dedicated to the director at the Museum of Modern Art. Opening on November 22nd, it is an almost ludicrously complete assemblage of Burtoniana.

Just about everything one could think of has been matted and framed, up to and including the nascent director's adolescent doodles and prize-winning poster ideas. The director gave the museum curators the full run of his house and assorted papers; they turned up such early gems as a hand-written high school paper titled "Humor In America" ("Types of jokes I've heard and seen: Pollock [sic] jokes (ethnic jokes), Knock-knock jokes, Insults, Stories, One liners, Elephant jokes, Puns...") and this anti-litter poster, which adorned garbage collection trucks in Burton's native Burbank, California, after he won a Keep Burbank Beautiful competition.

A lot of the drawings on display date from the time Burton spent working at Disney, just after attending CalArts. Apparently, while animating such projects as The Fox And The Hound, Burton found he needed a less treacly creative outlet, and badly: most of the sketches from this period betray a mordant sense of humor and the same dark view of humankind that he would later explore in his feature films. Strangely, these images whipsaw between the grim and the twee. Men and women are portrayed as gothic grotesques, or the drawings hinge on kind of sweet little visual puns: a stringy-haired, football-headed woman tugging a string between both ears gets the caption MENTAL FLOSS, for example. Another drawing features two bunny rabbits with baskets of eggs, one saying to the other, "We've been telling the kids the story of Christ all these years...Well, I think they're old enough now to know what Easter's really all about."

The gallery is crammed with material. (Evidently the excavations of Burton's home proved fruitful.) In addition to the sketches and the high school coursework, there are sculptures — seven of which, in the museum courtyard, Burton made specially for the show — movie props, costumes, posters, Polaroids, and assorted notes such as would please the most dedicated connoisseur of arcana. In one corner, Burton's 1983 adaptation of Hansel and Gretel — screened by the Disney channel exactly once — plays. In it, a Japanese brother and sister outsmart a wicked witch with candy cane rhinoplasty who lives in a house that looks like a quivering, pink tongue. There's also a gingerbread man character who talks to Hansel even as he eats him up. "If you think I'm tasty, and you want my body, come on take another bite," taunts the pastry, to the rhythm of "If You Think I'm Sexy."

Visitors enter the exhibit through an immense mouth that hangs, red carpet-tongue extended; in the black-and-white striped corridor behind, Burton's animated shorts play on flat screens. (At the other end, presumably somewhere in the gallery's stomach, is a room lit by UV light, where Burton's blacklight paintings on velvet are displayed.) It is a curatorial choice that seems to cleave to the crowd-pleasing side of things. It's anyone's guess why the curators thought Burton's work needed such a loud proclamation of its difference from typical museum fare as a jagged-tooth orifice; it looks like the sort of thing one might encounter at an amusement park ride.

The man himself described the process of having his work turned out for display as "surreal" and "an out-of-body experience." He remembered to thank the exhibition sponsor, the ridiculously renamed SyFy — "I'm a sci-fi kinda guy" — only at the very last second.

The exhibit includes a life-sized statue of Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands, as well as this sketch of the character.

Artifacts from Beetlejuice include this sculpture, a yellowed copy of The Afterlife newspaper ("ECTOPLASM LEAK AT PLANT NUMBER 9" "EXORCISM RATE SOARS"), and Burton's own hand-written notes about the project, which compare it to that other well-known "extreme four character conflict," Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf. In the nearby Mars Attacks section, there are latex severed heads and a gigantic painting of Martian anatomy. Sweeney Todd has a wooden box and an engraved set of cutthroat razors.

Batman is represented by various latex cowls, and Batman Returns merits the inclusion of Michelle Pfeiffer's whipstitched catsuit.

In a class composition Burton completed on September 27, 1974, at the age of 16, he imbued an ordinary trip to the doctor for a checkup and a tetanus shot with a sense of heavy foreboding. "There was a ghoulish smile on his face," wrote Burton, "like he enjoyed sticking the needle in my arm."

Tim Burton has stuck the needle in the moviegoing public's arm for nearly 30 years — by the looks of this show, thoroughly enjoying himself in the process. Long may he continue.

Tim Burton At MoMA [MoMA]

Suddenly the Universe is a very cold and empty place.

• Apparently we are not a nation of people waiting for Amanda Woodward to return to Melrose Place. Heather Locklear's trip back to the series did little to ease its struggles, lifting its gruesome ratings by a mere 15 percent to a 0.8 rating in the 18 - 45 demo. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Meanwhile, just as the world was sending its mocking obituaries to the printers, guess who's having a good week? Jay Leno is up five percent this week, "matching its highest ratings in six weeks." [Hollywood Reporter]

• With two and a half months to go, the Super Bowl's ad space is almost sold out. CBS reports a 90 percent sell-out rate thus far, meaning only six slots are still available. Like everything else these days, Super Bowl ad sales are being viewed as a barometer of the nation's economic health. [Ad Age]

• A Writers Guild report of diversity among its ranks finds "little if any improvement" for the prospects of women and minority writers. Variety writes that the report "found that women scribes remain stuck at 28% of TV employment and 18% in features while the minority share has been frozen at 6% since 1999." [Variety]

• Jennifer Hudson will play Winnie Mandela, the ex-wife of the ex-South African President Nelson Mandela in Winnie, a biopic to be directed by Darrell J. Roodt, maker of Cry the Beloved Country. [Variety]

• Roger Ebert may be off the airwaves, but his influence lives on, remarkably, as the online buzz king. A survey by Nielsen of which critics dominate the internet reveals that Ebert remains a goliath online, crushing all the competition combined. [thehotblog]

• Making 2012's grosses look like the change fallen under the cushions of your sofa, the video game Call of Duty : Modern Warfare 2 reported sales of more than $550 million in the first week of its release. The LA Times puts production costs on the game in the $40 - $50 million range (a fraction of 2012 or Avatar), putting its total budget including marketing somewhere around $200 million. Who's in the wrong business now, movie people? [LA Times]

• Lovely Bones director Peter Jackson told a reporter that, despite his PG-13 rating he had upped the violence in his upcoming film after early test screening audiences "were simply not satisfied" with the depiction of a character's death. [Hitfix]

• Nikki Finke reports that investor Carl Icahn has been snatching up MGM bonds like "A bat out of hell." [Deadline]

• The LA Times reports further on Disney's heroic decision to pull the plug on McG's attempt to America's memories of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea with his remake. The paper writes that execs saw the project, scripted by novelist Michael Chabon as "too dark" and that they will take another stab at it somewhere down the line. [LA Times]

• Each year, surveying Oscar's Best Actress pool sets off a bout of hand wringing over the absence of serious parts for serious female actresses, but this year the low may actually be below the bottom of the pool. After a very short list of sure things (Meryl, Carey Mulligan in An Education and Gabourey Sidibe for Precious) the field becomes a wide open wasteland with almost no true attention getting roles leaping out. It's gotten so bad, writes the Hollywood Reporter, that "some are talking about Sandra Bullock." [Hollywood Reporter]

• As if answering the question raised by the item above...On the strength of 2012, This Is It, Angels and Demons and Terminator:Salvation Sony Pictures is having its best year at the international box office in its history with grosses currently at $1.63 billion. Fox, however, holds the international top slot this year with $1.79 billion in receipts and counting [Variety]

•Kent Alterman will be your next man to blame for why Comedy Central isn't funnier. The former New Line exec was named head of programming for the network. [Variety]

• The first plug pulled at the new Less Is Less Miramax — Richard Linklater's Liars (A To E), a romantic comedy that was to have starred Kat Dennings and Rebecca Hall. [Movieline]

• Disney has put in dry dock/beached/torpedoed/depth charged/recalled to submarine base/(insert your preferred nautical analogy here) a remake of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea set to be helmed by McG. Cheated of his chance to ruin the submarine genre forever, the great director will instead focus his attentions on the thriller Dead Spy Running. [Variety]

• As long as there are film studios, there will be some executive who will have the bright idea to let Robin Williams star in yet another surefire failure of a comedy. Anna Faris is currently in talks to play Williams' daughter in Wedding Banned for Touchstone. [Hollywood Reporter]

• MTV has acquired the exclusive rights to air This Is It, the Michael Jackson concert rehearsal documentary. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Taylor Swift applied the final throttle to her death-grip hold over entertainment last night, sweeping the Country Music Association Awards. According to The Envelope awards site, at 19, Swift became the youngest person in history to take home the Entertainer of the Year trophy (actually the full name for the award is Coveted Entertainer of the Year Trophy.) She is also only the sixth female in history to take that top prize. While she was at it, Swift grabbed the Female Vocalist, Album of the Year and Music Video of the Year prizes. With her goliath of an album still selling, positive buzz from SNL appearance and the lingering sympathy from her Kayne debacle, entertainment stands at a crossroads from where Swift will either become the only star in show business, or be destroyed by a vicious backlash, no doubt led by cheer captains fed up with this bleacher-sitting, t-shirt wearing nerd thinking she owns this place. Paris Hilton, are you still out there? [The Envelope]

• We have a new video game overlord. The latest Call of Duty (Call of Duty 2: Modern Warfare) sold 4.7 million games on its first day out. That would be $310 million dollars in sales. In one day. Take that James Cameron. [Hollywood Reporter]

• The NFL has declared itself happy with its current line-up of TV deals, with Giants owner Steve Tisch saying at a media conference, "Right now, we feel DirecTV as the exclusive partner is really in the consumers' best interest." [Hollywood Reporter]

• Show biz's most hallowed name MGM, is headed for a fire sale. After a catastrophic few years, the company's debt holders have reportedly demanded it be auctioned off to the highest bidder. [Variety]

• Taking the next step forward in Robert Iger's full-on shake up of the entire Disney studio operation, newly installed Chairman Rich Ross announced a re-org of his team, making the various department heads report directly to him. Still to come: the much anticipated announcement of a new marketing chief. [Variety]

• Like it or not, more Fockers are heading your way. Harvey Keitel has joined the cast of the latest installment of the Meet the Parents cycle, hilariously titled Little Fockers. [Hollywood Reporter]

Warren Spector, creative director of the firm developing the frighteningly three-dimensional Epic Mickey game, explains that everyone's favorite balloon-head is getting the My Scene Barbie treatment:

"I wanted him to be able to be naughty - when you're playing as Mickey you can misbehave and even be a little selfish."

The sexual creepiness here is subtle, which almost makes it worse, because you start wondering if maybe it's all in your head, and you're just the kind of perv who reads a sentence about an "adventurous, enthusiastic and curious" child-like character and suddenly starts wondering, wait, what is the third G in GGG? And: Well, his feet are pretty big. And: In retrospect, he always did dress a bit like a Chippendale dancer.

But seriously, ever since "naughty" crossed paths with "nurse" and "maid" and every female on Hugh Hefner's dance card, it should really just be off-limits to people whose jobs involve children. Luckily, Spector assures us that "Mickey is never going to be evil or go around killing people," mostly because the imagining of him as a coyly naughty-but-nice seducer is psychically troubling enough for one generation.

But the clearest sign of Epic Mickey's rapidly approaching failure is was a bad idea is the fact that it was "dreamed up" by "a group of interns" in 2004. I will do my best to refrain from drawing a gross generalization of what this corpus of Disney video game interns may be like—and what sort of sexual energies they may or may not be subconsciously channeling into their summer projects—but if you have ever entered a room (preferably in a darkened basement) where four, five, perhaps six male video game aficionados were fragging their way through a digitized slumber party, you will know that there is a particular odor of gamey, over-testosteroned adolescent male je ne sais quoi that will attack your sinuses and gag you as though a sweaty gym sock has just been stuffed down your throat. And that will be the scent of Epic Mickey: Stale, festering horror.

The state of things was made clear today with the announcement that Miramax President Daniel Battsek would be stepping down. His decision came after news in recent weeks that Miramax headquarters would be moved from NYC to LA and that the company would scale back its annual release slate to three pictures, which is to say the functional equivalent of no pictures.

The shake-up ends the recent decades of dabbling all over the map for Disney and now leaves the independent film world decimated down to its core, with Fox Searchlight, Focus and Sony Classics the only major specialty units still moving at full steam following the departures or diminishments of New Line and , Paramount Vantage.

NOTE: A previous version of this mistakenly item listed Focus Features in the diminished list. We are delighted to learn that Focus is alive and well.

Realizing that they've lost their edge as the world's great evil empire, Disney has called on Apple overlord Jobs, who joined the board back in 2006, to help them steer a new path toward consumerist greatness. And, to that end, Jobs gave Disney access to his Apple Store blueprints and encouraged engineers to "think bigger," which means stores are no longer retail centers, but "Imagination Centers" that bubble with "Pixar-esque winks and nods."

Yes, gone are the days of plush toy displays and in are the days of video clips on demand, fake trees that sing happy birthday and, while they're at it, olfactory experimentation:

There will be a scent component; if a clip from Disney's coming "A Christmas Carol" is playing in the theater, the whole store might suddenly be made to smell like a Christmas tree.

Wow! This all sounds totally necessary!

Taken with Disney's plans for a brand-centric Comic-Con, it seems the company's poised to recreate the broken world in its own nightmarish image. And, in a move that would finally validate all those "Disneyfication" critiques of New York, Disney may open a new flagship store in Times Square. Sigh.

After hearing the news of Cook's departure on September 18, Depp said that his participation in the fourth film, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides—which is tentatively scheduled for 2011 and will make more booty for the studio than J.Lo has when she's retaining water weight—hinged on the quality of the script and his passion for the project. ""There's a fissure, a crack in my enthusiasm at the moment. [The franchise] was all born in [Dick Cook's] office," he told the L.A. Times, hinting that he would not return now that Cook was gone.

Well, Depp is already back walking the plank. A spokesperson from Disney said that Captain Jack Sparrow will not be recast for the movie.

So, guess that goes to show you just how long taking a stand lasts in Hollywood: ten days, give or take. But you have to cut them a break here. I mean, we're all for taking stands, but not expecting a man not to make a fourth Pirates movie — we can't all be Mohandas Gandhi!

And Hollywood hates surprises.

The genial Cook who began his Mouse career as a Disneyland ride operator gave little reason for his decision, merely saying "I have been contemplating this for some time now and feel it's the right time for me to move on to new adventures … and in the words of one of my baseball heroes, Yogi Berra, 'If you come to a fork in the road, take it.'" But Friday night, the town and the internet were abuzz with speculation focusing on Disney Boss Robert Iger's unhappiness with the studio's recent lackluster performance.

Variety's quasi-official rendition noted, "The studio's most recent movies, like "Race to Witch Mountain," "Bedtime Stories" and "Confessions of a Shopaholic" have been disappointments and CEO Bob Iger expressed unhappiness with the studio's slate in a conference call with Wall Street analysts in May."

The LA Times repeated this theme adding, "Internally, Iger was growing increasingly frustrated with Cook's management style, people familiar with the situation said, citing Cook's tendency to play his cards close to the vest."

The LA Times also captured the despair of Johnny Depp, star of Disney's Pirates films. In the item, Depp "said his enthusiasm for a fourth Pirates movie has waned with the news of Cook's exit." Hard to imagine that anyone's enthusiasm for the tiredest mess of a franchise currently afloat could ever wane, but without the right man in the front office, somehow the fun of robbing hundreds of millions of film fans of their popcorn money loses its luster.

Nikki Finke, just "out of the hospital" claims the story as an "exclusive." And indeed her item is timestamped 5:03, so if the stamp is accurate, it was posted a good five minutes before five minutes before Variety's and a full 14 minutes before the LA Times' piece. So for five minutes, Nikki Finke readers were the only people in America who knew about Cook's departure, and presumably the executive who will be named his replacement used that critical window to maneuver brilliantly, sending Robert Iger a fruit basket and a card telling him how much he loves Willow's Huff Post Living Now section, while the Variety reading executives sat at their desks clearing off another game of mine sweeper.

Nikki adds the news that Cook was "blindsided" by the firing, and morally outraged that it would come on Rosh Hashanah. She also adds Steven Speilberg, who just moved his production company to Disney, to the list of people who are very, very upset. Nikki says the news is "playing very badly" on the Disney lot. And you know what happens to news that plays badly on the Disney lot...Well, nothing actually.

The Wrap assures us that Oren Aviv, President of Buena Vista will not be Cook's replacement, and speculates that either Pixar Chief John Lasseter may be positioned for another step up the ladder.

Hoping to become more of a superhero power player in Hollywood, Warner Bros. has been quietly reorganizing its comic arm, DC Comics, to focus its energies on blockbuster hits. They claim they've been working on this for months, but Disney's announcement that it was buying Marvel accelerated things a bit.

Warner had intended to announce details about its plans for DC Comics in January, as it begins a 75th anniversary celebration of the DC brand, Barry Meyer, chairman and chief executive of Warner, said in an interview.

But the Disney announcement resulted in so many questions about the possibly heightened competition "that it would have been disingenuous for us to suggest that we had not been thinking about it." He added that the Marvel-Disney announcement "reconfirmed in us our strong belief in how valuable DC really is."

That remains to be seen. While, yes, DC has the strong Batman franchise and, to a far lesser degree, a burgeoning Superman series, it's also unleashed a slew of stinkers, like Catwoman and Watchmen, which failed to live up to its potential. Marvel, meanwhile, had the X-Men trilogy, keeps rolling out Spider-Man flicks, made three Blade movies, Iron Man and will no doubt make a splash with the forthcoming Thor, Avengers and Wolverine 2 big screen adventures.

DC will have to look mighty hard for characters who can stand up to Marvel's icons. Our suggestion? Neil Gaiman's Sandman. Why, oh why, has that not been adapted?

Image via Madolan's flickr.

More important than printing comics (which, they actually still do!), Marvel is valuable for the merchandising and movie rights to all its characters—over 5,000—many of which have become the massive film franchises that are the lifeblood of the movie studios. The only two studios that aren't dependent on Marvel for summer tentpoles are Disney and Warner Bros. (which bought out DC Comics and its stable of characters including Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman). Paramount has Iron Man, Sony's long been living off Spider-Man, 20th Century Fox lives and dies by how many X-Men,Wolverine, or Fantastic Four films it can spin out and Universal would like you to like The Hulk.

All of a sudden, those studios have just discovered that Disney may be in control of their summer fates. Welcome to your new groveling life, studio executives.

The happy happening will go down at the massive, 800,000 square foot Anaheim Convention Center and will feature all things Disney, including much lauding of Tim Burton's highly anticipated — we can't wait! - Alice and Wonderland. While that's all well and good, Disney president and chief executive Robert Iger hopes the event will help persuade "very ardent" fans to flock to the company's wide-ranging products:

We live in a world where digital communication enables people to express their opinions about things to a much broader set of people. We call it the combustion of digital world of mouth... Their ability to communicate with others is unlike anything we've seen at any time before.

Translation: "We want to make sure the little buggers don't use twitter against us, as they have others." Yes, the D23 Expo may sound simply like a company-specific Comic-Con, but it's far more than that: it's so much more than that. Disney crazed masses can also join "a high-end, elite-level access" fan club.

So, what does membership cost you? $75-a-year. Now, tell us: who on this green planet of ours, in this recession of ours, would shell out that kind of money simply to get into a glorified trade show that doesn't feature comics?

[Image via Getty]

Sweet Jesus, please, allow me to die frozen and alone in a pounding ice storm on the darkest barren Siberian tundra, rather than to pass away in Orlando. The WSJ lists the death toll—may God shepherd the souls of these unfortunate victims far, far away from the eternal mouse house:

• Anislav Varbanov, 30, died this week while practicing a gymnastic move for the "Raiders of the Lost Ark" show.
• Mark Prince, 47, died last week from a head injury while performing in a Disney pirate show.
• Austin Wuennenberg, 21, died last month in a monorail accident.

Replacing Lyons and Mankiewicz as hosts of the long-running show, formerly hosted by Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, will be A.O. Scott of the New York Times and Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune, two men widely respected in the world of film criticism who have both served as fill-ins on the show in the past.

As the LA Times Patrick Goldstein notes, Ben Mankiewicz wasn't all that bad, but it appears as though he was brought down by the tremendous weight of Lyons' Herculean suckage.

To be fair, Mankiewicz, the scion of a fabled Hollywood family who hosts Turner Classic Movies presentations, was clearly more knowledgeable than his counterpart. As my colleague Chris Lee reported last December, Lyons, son of film critic Jeffrey Lyons, was held in such low esteem in the critical fraternity that others in the profession were lining up, happy to be quoted by name ridiculing his work, with Chicago-based film critic Erik Childress saying of Lyons: "He has no taste. Everyone thinks he's a joke."

So how awful was Ben Lyons? This awful:

You know what hurts a movie like Max Payne is the success of the Batman franchise. That obviously is about story and character so they think for all films of the genre it's gotta be about story and character and this whole backstory of him losing his wife. I don't care about that. I wanna see Max Payne shoot people. That's all I want from a movie like this.

Film lovers of the America rejoice — your own personal long national nightmare is finally over! But what will now become of the "Stop Ben Lyons" blog?

Disney built Celebration, FL as America's creepiest community: as bland and perfect an imitation of a neighborhood as Disney World itself is of a theme park. Now any jerk can move up in there, including yourself! Houses are available for under $300K. Bring your meth lab and you could have it all paid off in a few months.

Where else would you live? In Gary, Indiana, trash is piling up in the streets. In DC, the most famous hotel in city history is up for auction. In Manhattan, the fanciest parts of Fifth Avenue have extra-stratospheric storefront vacancy rates, and restaurants are going out of business faster than you can say "I never ate in the Rainbow Room and I didn't miss a god damn thing."

So go ahead: move to Celebration, FL, and really fuck it up.

Details on what caused the crash are sparse, but it appears to eerily mirror the DC subway collision. Video of the crashed monorail is here; there's nothing too graphic about it other than the Disney employee doing his best to get any and all cameras out of sight. Whether that was due to Disney's well-known penchant for secrecy or for the dignity of the employee, who knows. As someone who took great pleasure in riding the Monorail at one point in his life, though, I can definitively report one thing: this is as strangely sad as it is simply depressing. Also, bad things happen in threes, as we all learned last week. Avoid trains.

[CNN]

Update: the employee's name was Austin Wuennenberg. It appears he took great pride in his job:

According to Wuennenberg's Facebook page, he was a computer science major at Stetson University and was set to graduate in 2010. Wuennenberg, who graduated from Celebration High School in 2006, served as a teacher's aide from August 2007 to May 2008, the Facebook page said.

Wuennenberg listed his position as "Monorail Pilot," a role he had held since October 2008. He described his job as "running the highway in the sky!" The Facebook page also stated that Wuennenberg worked at Disney in "Sunset Attractions" from June 2006 to September 2008. His interests included video games, computers, programming and comedy.

He appears to be the first fatality from the Monorail at Walt Disney World since it first opened, though this isn't the first incident the Monorail's had.

Something else I learned about the Monorail today: Disney guests can join the pilots in the front cab - where Wuennenberg died in the crash's impact - and receive a special commemorative co-pilot's license (pictured here) for doing so.

Not content with being the Ninth Sexiest Country In The World, someone over there felt in themselves the need to mount what they're billing as a place designed to "(improve) both the sex education and the sex life of its visitors." Hence: Love Land. The Chinese have to take all the fun out of sex, don't they?

The park's manager, a decent fellow named Lu Xiaoqing, tried to pound the message home:

"We are building the park for the good of the public. I have found that the majority of people support my idea, but I have to pay attention and not make the park look vulgar and nasty."

Visitors are being promised "giant" genitalia, naked people, histories of sex, and other assorted "fun," sexytime ways to learn about the world's oldest hobby, but tragically, no rides have been announced. Yet. We've worked on a few ideas in case they're in need:

• Splash Mountain
• Mr. Toad's Wild Ride
• The Magic Carpets of Aladdin
• Donkey's Photo Finish
• Twister: Ride it Out
• Jaws
• The Wild Surge
• Cheetah Chase
• Ariel's Grotto
• Country Bear Jamboree (why not?)

  
  

  Got any more in you? Bust a few out in the comments below. Whee!

  The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

  China Builds First Sex Theme Park [BBC News]

Plus ABC Family! So, phew, you can finally catch up on Greek. (No, really, you should.)

This also makes CBS the only major network to not host any content on the site, because they have a deal with TV.com and old people are bewildered by the internet anyway.

Hulu still comes in third in video site viewership, behind MySpace and YouTube, but in quality, it's so totally the best. And we're not even shilling! We actually enjoy it and use it. Go figure.

[TheWrap]