This is an incredible night to be absolutely anyone other than Donald Trump. Let the owns continue.

The past two weeks have been a rollercoaster of political emotion and deadening boredom, and boy, are we tired.

PHILADELPHIA — Last night, former New York mayor and billionaire executive Michael Bloomberg addressed the Democratic National Convention, in prime time, in a speech designed to present the political independent’s case for supporting Hillary Clinton for president.

PHILADELPHIA — Here at Gawker, a company bankrupt both economically and morally, we have rented no “official” DNC headquarters for the week. Luckily for us, the Washington Post has kindly allowed us into their beautiful set-up at the City Tap House, where we have been dining and imbibing all day, for free, which I…

PHILADELPHIA — Because of traffic following President Obama’s speech at the Wells Fargo Arena, celebrity guests didn’t arrive at the red carpet of the Creative Coalition Gala featuring Fergie until nearly 1 a.m. The few attending reporters and photographers stared tiredly at each other while we waited, downing vodka…

The concourse at Philadelphia’s Wells Fargo Center is filled with all sorts of chicken sandwiches, some of them vaguely pleasant, others pleasantly vague. But which of these breaded breasts allegedly sickened a New York Times reporter in town for the DNC?

While addressing the LGBTQ Delegates at the 2016 Democratic National Convention on Wednesday, Chelsea Clinton read this year’s Republican Party platform for filth.

“For many Clinton donors, particularly those from the financial sector, the convention is a time to shed what one called the ‘hypersensitivity’ that had previously surrounded their appearance at Mrs. Clinton’s fundraisers.”

Welcome to ConBag, a daily roundup of gossip from the Democratic National Convention, which we are attending for four very long days.

PHILADELPHIA — Just a few hours ago, in an interview with Gawker, Karl Rove finally offered an answer to the question on everyone’s mind: Is Karl “the Architect” Rove ready to get behind Donald Trump?

Wednesday evening, several news outlets announced that Wikileaks had JUST RELEASED 29 new Democratic National Committee voicemails, a brilliant bit of counter-programming against tonight’s Democratic convention events if true.

PHILADELPHIA — Welcome to the 27th and penultimate night of the Democratic National Convention. Two nights ago, my close personal friend, First Lady Michelle Obama gave a gorgeous speech that left a nation in tears. Four more years of Michelle, we cried! (Melania Trump no doubt took notes.)

PHILADELPHIA — Bill de Blasio, the current mayor of New York City, just spoke to Democratic National Convention delegates at the Wells Fargo Center about the merits of Hillary Clinton and the evils of Donald Trump. He spoke at around 5:30 p.m., when many TV viewers are still working or on the way home, and there were…

Philadelphia — It’s hot as hell here in the city of brotherly love, but I’d give up all the air conditioning and the free “I’m a Union Fan” fan for a good wifi connection. Here inside the white media tents, now blessedly free of Bernie protestors, the chairs are free but the wifi is not—media outlets, companies and…

Daniel Driffin, a 30-year-old Atlanta-based HIV/AIDS activist, addressed the DNC today. His three-minute speech touched on the history of AIDS, Hillary Clinton’s advocacy regarding the epidemic (which she has a vast experience doing, brain farts aside), and most importantly, the current state of the epidemic, which…

PHILADELPHIA — Bill Clinton is a brilliant speaker, and more often than not it’s completely off-the-cuff, prepared remarks be damned. In fact, the DNC media team was unable to distribute an advanced copy of his speech, as it does for many of the speakers, because he was reportedly working on it up until he delivered…

In Philadelphia on Thursday, poverty activist Cheri Honkala plans to host “the world’s largest ‘fart-in,’” during Hillary Clinton’s nomination acceptance speech, as a silent but deadly rebuke to the Democratic nominee. Given the handwringing from Clinton supporters and surrogates about Sanders supporters booing and…

Donald Trump is an attention-hungry, inauthentic charlatan driven almost entirely by an insatiable appetite for fame and, if he can swing it, fortune. So to treat Donald Trump as if he’s trying to convey any actual message is to miss the point of him entirely. Donald Trump’s only message is that Donald Trump exists.

PHILADELPHIA — Three sources, speaking on the condition of anonymity because they feared professional repercussions, have told Gawker that ABC News is not allowing Fusion staffers attending the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia this week to eat the free snacks in the ABC News tent.