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You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip

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Aatom
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
I remember when you could get a tab of acid for the price of ONE cup of coffee.
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bjonston
01/14/09

@Aatom: Acid doesn't go for 5 bucks a tab no more?
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brionity
01/14/09

@bjonston: Don't judge. But last year it was $10 for sugar cube. Liquid LSD dropped on a sugar cube. But that is delivered and guaranteed quality. New York. New York. If you can make a call . . .
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bjonston
01/14/09

@brionity: That's not bad. No judgments here. I do miss those days...
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bjonston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
Anybody mind if I do a jay? I got a wicked headache from all that coffee and I just got laid off for puking on my boss's shoes today.
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dolemite1975
01/14/09

@bjonston: Did you really, seriously?
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bjonston
01/14/09

@dolemite1975: I can't remember.
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bjonston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
Gotta say, I'm very disappointed that nobody in this thread saw fit to make a 4:20 joke at 4:20. Jesus, people. We look like a bunch of amateurs. Amateurs.
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Lysergic Asset
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
This comment thread is freakin' hysterical. Thanks, Richard!
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bjonston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
I think I just puked on my boss's shoes. Or someone who looks a lot like my boss. And boy was he pissed. I think I'm getting fired.

Wait. Hold on a minute.

Yep. I just got fired for projectile vomiting eleven and a half cups of coffee all over my boss's penny loafers, in response to a question or series of questions having something to do with the reasons for (i) my elevated tone of voice, (ii) the suddenly red color of my face, and (iii) my notable absence from a 57.105 hearing in Circuit Court twenty minutes ago.

Ooopsie.
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bjonston
01/14/09

@bjonston: Damned recession!
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Dimples
01/14/09

@bjonston: I feel like I need to stage an intervention for you..I love you and if you continue down this path..well I'll have to cut you loose.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to be a slut for drugs (sexually generous for the chemically endowed?). That way the only cost is the severe blow to your self esteem when you wake up that next morning.
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AuntPeniston
01/14/09

@oyvehisyou: "Antiquarian" is much more flattering than "old-fashioned."
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
01/14/09

@AuntPeniston: An Antiquarian Opium Wench?
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Dr. Nick
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
I knew a guy in high school who did the ping-pong ball trick, but he wore ski goggles and wrapped towels around his head or something. he claimed to have seen all kinds of flourescent fish. of course, the problem is that it takes something like 7 hours for your brain to get bored enough to start making stuff up.
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bjonston
01/14/09

@Dr. Nick: Not if you "fast track" it with 10 cups of coffee like I just did, hoe daddy!

My hnads are shkin sss obad I cnat eevn type strgiht and my eyes arerolling bac iknto myhaed and thnigs are raelly getning internesting!!!!!
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Dr. Nick
01/14/09

@bjonston: I really, really hope you're at work right now.
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bjonston
01/14/09

@Dr. Nick: Maybe I am. Maybe I aren't. I can't tell anymore, really. The room is kinda spinning and my head feels funny. I think I'm tripping but I'm not sure I can think anymore so I really can't tell for sure. But I can tell you it sure doesn't feel like Acid or shrooms. It feels more like I'm gonna barf.

Wait, is that my boss?

Oh, hi Brian. Yeah, I got your emails. Wait, what? Dude.
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Xylo
01/14/09

@Dr. Nick: 7 hours!!?? People with time to burn piss me off!
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bjonston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
I just finished cup number nine and I can't seem to stop shaking or get the song Touch Me by the Doors to stop playing in my head.

Tan tan tan tadan-tan tadan-tan,

[higher octave]

Tan tan tan tadan-tan tadan-tan,

[higher octave]

Tan tan tan tadan-tan tadan-tan,

Tan tan tan tadan-tan tadan-tan, tan

Come on,

come on,

come on,

come on now,

Touch me babe,

Can't you see that I am not afraid?

What was that promise that you made?

Why the fuck can I never get laid?

If they fire me now will I still get paid?
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bjonston
01/14/09

@bjonston: Wait did I just say that out loud or did I just think it with my inside voice?
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Xylo
01/14/09

@bjonston: Bwaah!
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bjonston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
Help. Me.
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bjonston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
Ok. I'm now on cup number eight and I'm feeling reeeeeealy jittery. My heart feels like it's about to explode but other than that.

Wait.

What the fuck was that?

Never mind. I just farted. I feel better now.
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Truculent
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
When I was a 12 year old Boy Scout, someone said you could get high from toothpaste. So three of us ate an entire tube of Crest. There was an effect but I'm not sure if it was a high or just flouride poisoning.
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bjonston
01/14/09

@Truculent: Did you know fluoride turns into hydrochloric acid in your stomach? It does. That's why the tubes of toothpaste all say not to eat it and to call a poison control center if you do. Now you know.
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Truculent
01/14/09

@bjonston: So where the hell were you in 1967? Now you tell me. Sheesh
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Dimples
01/14/09

@Truculent: so if I smear toothpaste all over my face..would that be the same as an acid peel?
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paragrab
01/14/09

@bjonston: Your stomach already produces hydrochloric acid in it. And fluorine cannot turn into chlorine. Hydrofluoric acid, maybe?
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bjonston
01/14/09

@paragrab: I stand corrected. My bad. Too much coffee.
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bjonston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
Ok. I've had six cups of coffee and working on number seven. Nothing yet. But man am I jumpy. Anybody else feel jumpy? I sure feel jumpy. Jittery too. Wonder what it could be. My friend Ned is jumpy. He sure likes coffee too. Drinks lots of coffee, Ned does. Maybe that's why he's so jumpy. Hey, maybe that's why I'm suddenly so jumpy. Jumpy, jumpy, jumpy. Ok. More later.
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Astigmatism
01/14/09

@bjonston: [www.theonion.com]
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bjonston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
I love you, Richard. I'm off to get a pound of coffee and a ping pong ball or two. More after the trip.
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Xylo
01/14/09

@bjonston: I was wondering when you'd show up for the hallucinogenics discussion!!
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bjonston
01/14/09

@Xylo: Sorry I'm late.
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AuntPeniston
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
Weed is the one thing I buy with any regularity of which the price has not gone up in years. Hurray for the black market!
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BadUncle
01/14/09

In reply to You Can Still Afford to Take Your Dream Trip
In school, I discovered a cheap alternative to tranquilizers. Cut an english muffin in half and warm in the toaster. Lie down with your eye's closed, and gently press the english muffins against your ears.
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Lysergic Asset
01/14/09

@BadUncle: You forgot to specify using 'unbuttered English muffins.'
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