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New York, 9:15 AM
Sat Nov 28
15 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #donotwant more →

    Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive

    How Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Craps

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    08/09/09

    In reply to Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive
    The parents are wasting the opportunity of a lifetime if they don't change his name to Lazarus.
    And, isn't that just a bit young to be into Goth?
     Reply
    Edited by Trai_Dep at 08/09/09 11:40 AM Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of miss_msry miss_msry
    08/09/09

    In reply to Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive
    Shouldn't that read "Dead" baby?
    Cuz, you know, he wasn't.
     Reply
    miss_msry was starred miss_msry was unstarred
    Image of Mo MoDo Mo MoDo
    08/09/09

    In reply to Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive
    And I used to know a ton of dead baby jokes. No they are all gonna go to waste.
     Reply
    Mo MoDo was starred Mo MoDo was unstarred
    Image of ___ ___
    08/09/09

    @Mo MoDo: Don't worry. There are plenty of other dead babies.
     Reply
    Trai_Dep promoted this comment ___ was starred ___ was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    08/09/09

    @Big Poppa: With a live one at the bottom of the pile, furiously trying to eat his way out!
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    08/08/09

    In reply to Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive
    Think of the fraud that baby could commit with his own death certificate....Man, everything is wasted on the young.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of dissentingopinion dissentingopinion
    08/08/09

    @DahlELama: I'll bet he actually died in Kenya
     Reply
    Claire Buoyant promoted this comment dissentingopinion was starred dissentingopinion was unstarred
    Image of ChillbearLatrigue ChillbearLatrigue
    08/09/09

    @DahlELama: I understand that the baby obtained a very large insurance policy just minutes before leaving the womb. Another example of why parents need to keep their fetuses off of the internet. Unbelievable.
     Reply
    ChillbearLatrigue was starred ChillbearLatrigue was unstarred
    Image of jasonelias jasonelias
    08/08/09

    In reply to Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive
    Wow, talk about Living in a Box.
     Reply
    jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred
    Image of lionboy lionboy
    08/08/09

    In reply to Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive
    Testing For Deadness 101 would seem to be one of the easier courses to pass in med school.
     Reply
    lionboy was starred lionboy was unstarred
    Image of Claire Buoyant Claire Buoyant
    08/08/09

    @lionboy: He's just resting.
     Reply
    Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred
    Image of lionboy lionboy
    08/08/09

    @Claire Buoyant: The doctor or the baby?
     Reply
    lionboy was starred lionboy was unstarred
    Image of Claire Buoyant Claire Buoyant
    08/09/09

    @lionboy: Oh, I was quoting from Monty Python's Dead Parrot skit. On a more serious note, I think there are cases where the living vs. dead distinction is fuzzy (e.g., in a coma on life support) -- but in this case the kid was obviously still breathing, so doctor FAIL.
     Reply
    Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    08/08/09

    In reply to Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive
    Poor little feller.
     Reply
    Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of switchblade saints switchblade saints
    08/08/09

    In reply to Dead Baby Surprises Funeral-Planning Parents By Being Alive
    how long was it in the box? and did they sever the head? that's the only way to kill a zombie
     Reply
    switchblade saints was starred switchblade saints was unstarred
    Image of switchblade saints switchblade saints
    08/08/09

    @switchblade saints: off topic, I think I am more creeped out by that picture of Joan Rivers.
     Reply
    switchblade saints was starred switchblade saints was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    04/07/09

    In reply to How Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Craps
    people in hollywood aren't just naturally skinny? they're always talking bout how they love hamburgers and fries. that's not true?
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of GuyBitchy GuyBitchy
    01/07/09

    In reply to How Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Craps
    "Next week my fitness guru, Tracy Anderson, gives us an exclusive video to get our butt in shape for the new year!"


    And to think... some people once considered you an actress.


    Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha...

     Reply
    GuyBitchy was starred GuyBitchy was unstarred
    Image of Clarence Rosario Clarence Rosario
    01/06/09

    In reply to How Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Craps
    Try a spoon full of Drano.


    Sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you feeling hollow inside.

     Reply
    Clarence Rosario was starred Clarence Rosario was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    01/06/09

    In reply to How Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Craps
    You all can hate me, but that part about her drinking the castor oil and hallucinating? That made me laugh so hard.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/06/09

    @BookishLookish: I could never hate you, dearest Bookish. But i can laugh right along with you. Wouldn't hallucinating be a big, fat red flag waving before her eyes? Hellooooo? You're doing horrible things to your body and it's not pleased.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of axel_f axel_f
    01/06/09

    In reply to How Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Craps
    being pregnant has made me a little, er, sluggish in the bowel department and i've read online of pregnant women drinking castor oil to help. my doc said this was a big no no and to stick to metamucil/psyllium powders.
     Reply
    axel_f was starred axel_f was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    01/06/09

    @axel_f: Add a bit of Colace to your diet. It cannot hurt the baby. Also, if you can stand it, prune juice. It is also full of vitamins.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    01/06/09

    In reply to How Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Craps
    Everybody poops, yes, this we know.


    But, when you're in the john, doing your biz and somebody lets a monstrous one go in the stall next to yours, you do everything you can to get the hell out before the smell, or by God splatter, seeps beneath the partition. (Oh, yes, we're all really afraid of splatter, no matter how improbable.) This is not a moment of Kumbaya sharing. It is a moment of, "Dear Lord, how fast can I wipe, zip, flush, wash, and get out before I'm identifying odorous food-stuffs, not my own."


    So, uh, yeah. That's how I feel about people sharing their poo.

     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/06/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Mercy flush, people! It's called a mercy flush!
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    01/06/09

    In reply to How Gwyneth Paltrow Takes Craps
    Jesus, you could stack books on those shelf-like clavicles.


    Here is my health tip to you, Gwynnie. Get your bony ass down to Katz's, chat up Benny a bit and slip him a fin for a nice lean-cut pastrami. Then eat it (a side of fries would not hurt either) and let your body "detox" naturally, i.e., in the way it would anyway.


    Also: shut your trap.

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    01/06/09

    @BookishLookish: Have you seen the amount of meat on those sandwiches? She won't shit for days, but it'll be totally worth it for a Katz's. Dang! I want one now. Thanks, Bookish, ruiner of my plan for a soup and salad today.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    01/06/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Eating a huge meat sam is the only way to kick-start a sluggish system used to ground-up nuts, lemon water and twigs!


    Also: you're welcome.

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
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