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do not want
President Honors Veteran In Game Show Format
If you were wondering why everyone running for president was talking like a wrestler yesterday instead of retaining some semblance of dignity, you'll be happy to find out the candidates were merely practicing for a new presidential tradition begun by George W. Bush: Appearing on a TV game show and cracking jokes. That might sound a little cheesy, but it was for a good cause. The president, you see, wanted to honor an Iraq veteran with the sort of dignity only host Howie Mandel can conjure on Deal Or No Deal. "Are you ready to get some acknowledgement for your hard work and bravery?" Mandel asked. Oh, sure, what the hell: More »
do not want
Radio Perez Validates All Blogs
Thank heavens for celebrity gossip Perez Hilton and his new radio deal, because otherwise there would be no one to "show how the blogosphere is generating new talent for the traditional media," as the Wall Street Journal puts it. Perez will make three-minute radio shows for stations in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and elsewhere, for use during rush hours. He's also starring in a summer movie called Gays Gone Wild and has a book deal. Hilariously, the Journal said Perez wants to "carefully cultivate" his public image, just like Paris Hilton. Also, This Changes Everything: More »
the future
Schizophrenia Is The New Ad Gimmick
Walking westward on Prince St. between Mulberry and Mott Streets, I heard a woman's voice in my head whispering, "Who's there? Who's there?" Not like I "heard" a woman's voice like when I wear flared jeans with skinny shoes and I "hear" a woman's voice in my head say, "Wait, you've got to be kidding?" but like an actual woman's voice in my head. This usually means I've had a psychotic break. More »
gets
Katie Couric Interviewing Hillary Clinton?
Oooh, it looks like Katie Couric has scored an interview with Hillary Clinton for the evening news! We just really really hope that this picture, up on the Drudge Report where the story is being reported, isn't a still from some home movie Couric's got her hands on. Do. Not. Want.
How in the name of all that is magabranding and holy can Details put Kevin Federline on its cover FOR THE SECOND TIME? (The first was all the way back in March, 2005: "the second-worst selling issue of the year," says WWD.) Do not understand! [Memo Pad]
live with crazy ladies
Why Will No One Live With Michelle And Emily In Astoria?
Call it what you will—Live with a Douche or Live with a Sadult—but Craigslist is a treasure trove not just of places to live but of places not to live. In this edition, we meet Michelle and Emily, two Queens-living young ladies who just can't figure out why their roommates keep leaving them. More »
"In town for a new product launch this week, Starbucks chief executive Howard Schultz implied that New Yorkers were wholeheartedly embracing the changing character of their city. Asked just how many Starbucks locations he thinks the city can support, Schultz discussed the many emails he gets requesting new stores." Uh, yeah. If there are any New Yorkers out there who have sent Howard Schultz an e-mail asking for YET ANOTHER STARBUCKS, we want you to come down to the office this afternoon. We'd like to a) verify that you really exist and b) stab you in the genitals with a rusty hacksaw. [AMNY]
This tops the list of four-word phrases that we file in our "DO NOT WANT" folder. We're not even sure if this really is White Stripes drummer Meg White taking it in a variety of different positions; if it is, she's showing more rhythm that she's ever previously displayed. TOTALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK. [Fleshbot]
liars
Neel Shah Lies To Girls About Why Guys Lie
Today's teenage girls have some serious ish to contend with, and it cannot be helping that our former intern and current Radarer Neel Shah is being allowed to give them advice under the auspices of his unofficial position as Spokesman For Boys. This month in Cosmogirl, he explains the five reasons "Why Guys Lie." For starters: "See, unlike girls, when guys lie, we're not really thinking about the benefits or consequences to what we're saying." This is a lie. The article is full of lies, actually! More »
poets of the metro section
Crazy Times Two: Alan Feuer And Laura Albert
How can we describe Alan Feuer's profile of Laura Albert in today's New York Times? It is misery. For one thing, we are told that the woman formerly known as JT Leroy is now reduced to living in a "San Francisco walk-up." You know what? If she was actually poor she'd move to Oakland like everyone else. And anyway, how many buildings shorter than six floors in quake country actually have an elevator? "Ms. Albert has veracity issues. Can she be trusted? What, in short, should be discarded? What believed?" That's fun, coming from a guy with a bullshit memoir. He then describes Atascadero, California as "a cheerless town of bedding stores," which is sad, as he might have enjoyed knowing that Atascadero is actually home to California's favorite all-male maximum security psychiatric facility, which employs a decent percentage of the town's residents. Boy he would have loved to torture that metaphor. Then they get to L.A. and David Milch shows up and gives her some cash and boy I bet he wish he'd kept that $500 bucks, now that, thank God, "John From Cincinnati" got shot in the face.
Her Journey, All True [NYT]
the world's worst person
Eric Schaeffer's "Rape America's Mind" Tour '07!
Beginning next week in San Diego, and ending in October in New Haven, literary mastermind, yoga practitioner and extremely tiny and single ball of hatred Eric Schaeffer will be on book tour! As we know from experience, his readings are just something to see. So whether you live in Mendocino or Boise, you too can lose your dignity listening to the misguided pit of sadness that is Eric's hatred of women and self. Also! Eric's MySpace has a question for you! It is: "Have Your Bought The Book Yet?" Actually, no, mine hasn't, honey, but maybe their has?
The Still Single Book Tour [MySpace]
We agree with Fashionista and (gulp) People: open-toed booties must die. [Fashionista]
"Ms. O'Donnell seems to be experimenting with an emo style, the morose deadpan known to YouTubers but anathema to TV and stage veterans like herself." [NYT]
the internet should cease to be
'Cat Fancy' Editor Takes Catblogging To Dangerous Extremes
Sometimes we're reminded of the fact that blogs are just such a bad idea. Times like when we stumble across Cat Fancy editor Susan Logan's bloggy musings about "the meaning of myeh."I was on the phone with a friend this morning while my Ragdoll Chloe was sitting on my lap. After I spent a minute talking, Chloe looked up at me and mouthed this barely audible "myeh" that came out like a whisper. It took me out of the conversation I was having because it was so disarmingly cute. I wondered what could possibly have been going through her mind as she softly vocalized. Did she think I was talking to her, and she was responding? Was she thinking, "Pay attention to me already and stop talking to that device?" Was she commenting on the coarseness of my morning voice? Was she simply expressing her love?Is it really possible that no one will ever know?
The Meaning of Myeh [CatChannel]
