• So, what does Lindsay Lohan have to say about her disastrous Ungaro show in Paris? She just didn't have time to make a collection that didn't totally suck. And those pasties? She didn't even know about them! "I wasn't aware of the nipple tassels on the girls until they were walking out..." Don't worry, though, because the actress says she's "still learning," which gives us an iota of hope her next effort won't fall so flat. [People]
  
  
• A crazed "in love" fan waited in line five hours so that he could punch singer Leona Lewis at a book signing. She cried a bit, but has made a full recovery. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Neither side will admit it, but Fox Business and MSNBC are both working double time to make sure their respective morning hosts — rivals Don Imus and Joe Scarborough — beat one another at the ratings game. Scarborough's winning, but newcomer Imus could still come up from behind. [Page Six]
  
  
• Here's something none of us could have ever predicted. Britney Spears, who once lost custody of her two tots, has been named "best celebrity mom" in a completely scientific poll put out by a Christmas savings company, the most important source on Earth. [Mirror]
  
  
• Hillary Swank will stop at nothing to have children — someday. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• We're really sorry to be the ones to tell you this, but we're sure you've predicted it, so here it goes: Jon Gosselin vowed to continue a career in television. [NYDN]
  
  
• All wait staff should be on high alert: Miley Cyrus does not tip well. You've been warned. [Splash News]
  
  
• A former bodyguard claimed Howard K. Stern helped Anna Nicole Smith shoot valium. Because, at that point, why not? [NYDN]
  
  
• The late Stephen Gately's Boyzone bandmates will sleep in the chapel with his body the night before his funeral because he wasn't fond of being alone. [Mirror]
  
  
• Eminem must be quite the diva: he refused to work with Madonna. Chump. [NYDN]
  
  
• Because domestic life no longer appeals to viewers, the fifth season of Tori Spelling and family's reality show will be a cross-country trip. Next season? Ultimate fighting. [ET]
  
  
• Rather than simply pleading insanity, one of the men accused of extorting John Travolta after the actor's son's death claims that Travolta's lawyer offered him the $15 million as "hush money." [NYDN]
  
  
• Former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein will appear at Baruch Barnard College today to discuss the trials and tribulations of Iranian... hair. [Page Six]
  
  
• It's officially official: Avril Lavigne has filed for divorce from Sum 41 singer Deryck Jason Whibley. Now perhaps we'll never have to hear those names again. [AP]
  
  
• Joe Francis recently boasted that if he saw rival Brody Jenner, Jenner was "dead." Then he ran into Brody and his friends and did nothing. What a cock. And a tease. [Page Six]

Brian Stelter reports in today's New York Times that Fox Business is hoping to simulcast Imus' utterly unlistenable radio show in the same way MSNBC did before they fired him after the "nappy-headed hoes" incident involving the Rutgers women's basketball team a couple of years ago.

Stelter says that the deal is in "advanced negotiations" and that Fox hopes Imus' shitty program can be effective at "motivating new viewers to turn on the hard-to-find network for the first time." The show would reportedly run from 6 to 9am, replacing a show that currently doesn't garner enough viewers to even register a rating by Nielsen, and the idea seems to follow a blueprint for success that Fox has used effectively in the past.

In turning to Mr. Imus to bolster Fox Business, the News Corporation is taking a page from the playbook of its sibling channel Fox News, which now drives the company's financial growth. Fox, founded 13 years ago, successfully translated talk radio values to TV, sometimes by directly hiring radio talkers like Sean Hannity. Already, Fox Business counts two radio veterans, Dave Ramsey and Tom Sullivan, as hosts.

Well it's about time! Seriously, have there ever been two entities more perfect for each other than Don Imus and Fox?

Don Imus used to simulcast his show on MSNBC, but that ended with his unfortunate "Nappy headed hoes" incident, and he's been stuck in a less high-profile broadcasting gig since his comeback. But now Fox Business Network is reportedly in talks with Imus to have him simulcast there in the mornings! This would be a great fit. We'll leave it at that.


Hey, a sports reporter for the Fort Myers, FL News-Press was arrested for trying to interview important human "Neon" Deion Sanders at a youth football game. Now the paper is suing the city for false arrest. Deion's personal assistant reportedly "began to cry and was visibly upset about the miscommunication that resulted in Mr. Dorsey's arrest," which pretty much proves the paper is right and also is just funny.


Zargon Shah is a TV reporter with not only an awesome name, but a story to tell. He was kidnapped by Taliban fighters in May and sentenced to die. He had to sit in a room for five hours, waiting for his own beheading. Finally he got the chance to speak to a commander, who freed him so he could show the world the destruction the Pakistani Army was wreaking on the Taliban. Which he was happy to do, for sure! Read his whole story here. It's crazy.


Photojournalism: Is it dying, thanks to amateurs with crappy cell phone cameras, such as you? There are some indications that yes, it is. Which is sad, because your cell phone pictures suck.

The first person to actually do this was, of course, Imus producer Bernard McGuirk. Even better, it was in the context of a hilarious routine involving a cardinal who speaks in a comical pretend Irish accent, which allows him to "get away" with saying "outrageous" things that "we're all thinking" but wouldn't say aloud because of the "PC police." And the segment began with that hilarious salsa music the Mexicans listen to, in their cars.

We apologize for the error. In the future, when we suspect someone has been the first to make a racially tone-deaf joke about a prominent minority figure, we will make sure to check the Imus archives before reporting it.

"The day you find out is fine," Imus said. "But the next morning when you get up, your knees are shaking. I didn't think I could make it to work."

He speculated that the cancer could be a result of stress.

Sad. Wait, they let Don Imus back on the air? When did that happen? [NYP]

(Audio via Politico)

Though Woody Harrelson, his buns of steel, and the very edible Justin Theroux do bring a bit of heat to the male vegetarian crowd, they hardly make up for the presence of Don Imus and Bob Barker, who would make far more appropriate candidates for the Hottest Sexist Vegetarian list. As much as we love and adore Peter Dinklage, we don't exactly fantasize about sipping tofu shakes with him in bed. Grouped with Serious Method Actor Jared Leto and failed comeback kid Corey Feldman, the full list (in its entirety here) isn't inspiring us to convert to nuts and berries any time soon.

• SEXIEST VEGETARIAN CELEBRITY 2008 [PETA]

No one really knows if anyone will syndicate the show, or if advertisers will be nervous, or if he'll get anywhere near the caliber of guests he used to. Maybe he can answer some of these questions during his heart-to-heart with Barbara Walters? Or announce that he's moving to Arizona to have Tim Hasselbeck's baby or something?

But according to Jeff Bervovici, Imus will "silence the doubters." Because even though his ratings have been falling, he still has enough fans to bug the hell out of anyone who writes about him on the internet (just like Ron Paul). Or at least enough fans to convince Bercovici to change his description of Imus as "a wee bit racist" to just "racially insensitive."

But Imus might get himself a black sidekick and then nothing he says could ever be called racist again. Possible candidates:

• Kevin Eubanks
• Eddie Anderson

No matter how hateful and repulsive you are, those two can make you palatable to just about anyone!

Why Imus Will Silence the Doubters [Portfolio]

Imus is totally pissed at everyone who criticized his little comment about those colored ladies, especially noted uppity bitch Hillary Clinton, whom he is maybe going to kill?

The senator, who Imus has called "satan" and the "devil," traveled to Rutgers in April to praise the women's basketball team for its response to the controversy. In a campaign email, Hillary called Imus's comments "small-minded bigotry and coarse sexism."

"Hillary, prepare to meet your maker!" a source close to the host joked early Monday.

THE RESURRECTION OF IMUS: RETURNS ON NATION'S TOP TALK STATION [DRUDGE REPORT]

O'Reilly surprised "there was no difference" between Harlem restaurant and other New York restaurants [Media Matters]