• Profile logout login

#dontclap

Gawker

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #tips,
  • #stalker,
  • #opencaption,
  • #internalmemos,
  • etc.

New York, 10:35 AM
Sat Dec 19
42 posts in the last 24 hours

Team

Tip Your Editors:

Tipline: 646-214-8138

Editor-in-Chief:
Gabriel Snyder |

West Coast Editor:
Richard Rushfield |

Contributing Editors:

Valleywag:
Ryan Tate |

Media:
Hamilton Nolan |

Politics:
Alex Pareene |

Investigations:
John Cook |

Entertainment:
Brian Moylan |

Nights:
Adrian Chen |
Azaria Jagger |
Ravi Somaiya |

Weekends:
Foster Kamer |

Video Editor:
Richard Blakeley |

SUBSCRIBE TO Gawker RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
4260 Subscribers
Gawker
  • posts about #dontclap more →

    Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Dagrolord Dagrolord
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    I think Paris Hilton would make a wonderful real life Tinkerbell- but only if Courtney Love's unavailable.


    Here's the elevator pitch...


    Peter Pan and Tinkerbell are made mortal through a spell concocted by a witchdoctor in the employ of Captain Hook. Once on earth, our star-crossed couple is beset with mundane realities- not the least of which is that Peter Pan discovers he's Flame On!, Human Torch-level gay. Peter Pan (played by Christian Siriano), finds he has an eye for design and quickly owns an up-market upholstery shoppe. Tinkerbell has quite an eye herself, but it's for the lads and Tink falls into torrid promiscuity. Peter Pan eventually suggests Tinkerbell make a living from her talent, and Tink begins a thriving cockholstery trade in the apartment above Peter's shoppe.


    Years pass with Peter Pan helping Tinkerbell to raise two otherwise fatherless sons that come along. Tinkerbell eventually contracts AIDS. Peter nurses her throughout her illness. Peter neglects his business and the heat is shut-off. Tinkerbell dies from double-pneumonia. The witchdoctor's spell dies upon Tinkerbell's death and Peter Pan returns to Neverneverland, taking Tink's sons with her.

     Reply
    Dagrolord was starred Dagrolord was unstarred
    Image of Dagrolord Dagrolord
    12/04/08

    @Dagrolord: 'him.'
     Reply
    Dagrolord was starred Dagrolord was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    She certainly knows what to do with a Peter.
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of shag_carpet_bomb shag_carpet_bomb
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    I nominate about 89% of the comments on this thread for commies. This is why I read gawker!
     Reply
    shag_carpet_bomb was starred shag_carpet_bomb was unstarred
    Image of Theda_Bara Theda_Bara
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    Paris will masturbate wherever she pleases, thankyouverymuch.
     Reply
    Theda_Bara was starred Theda_Bara was unstarred
    Image of lalaland13 lalaland13
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    This heifer better not steal the role from Tina Fey.
     Reply
    lalaland13 was starred lalaland13 was unstarred
    Image of ineffable.me ineffable.me
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    Ill go see the Insanity Double Feature if Mariah does a live-action Hello Kitty followed by Paris as Tinkerbell.
    So much insanity and weirdo childhoodz!
     Reply
    ineffable.me was starred ineffable.me was unstarred
    Image of Colonel Mustard Colonel Mustard
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    A better role for her might be Captain Hooker.
     Reply
    Colonel Mustard was starred Colonel Mustard was unstarred
    Image of miasma-protege miasma-protege
    12/04/08

    @Colonel Mustard: Wenchdy, or one of the Lost Goys.
     Reply
    miasma-protege was starred miasma-protege was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    What a package on that gal
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Perhaps Not Perhaps Not
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    Tinkerbell? I don't even know her!
     Reply
    Perhaps Not was starred Perhaps Not was unstarred
    Image of mark duffy mark duffy
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    She CAN'T be Tinkerbell with those pontoon boat feet.
     Reply
    mark duffy was starred mark duffy was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    12/04/08

    @mark duffy: And the skinny bod. The original Tink was pear-shaped. How about Kirstie Alley?
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of BullfightsOnAcid BullfightsOnAcid
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    The new movie will be filmed with a nightvision camera. One Night in Tink's Bell.
     Reply
    BullfightsOnAcid was starred BullfightsOnAcid was unstarred
    Image of Trixie from Toronto Trixie from Toronto
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    I love that photo of her. I guess her sores were itchy.
     Reply
    Trixie from Toronto was starred Trixie from Toronto was unstarred
    Image of GirlyWhirl GirlyWhirl
    12/04/08

    @Trixie from Toronto:


    Ahhaha! I love it too. And when I say "love" I mean that I look at it and dry heave, then laugh, dry heave, then laugh, etc...

     Reply
    GirlyWhirl was starred GirlyWhirl was unstarred
    Image of Nice Beaver Nice Beaver
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    Because not quite enough of your childhood dreams have been throttled and trampled by culture's unending descent into l'inferno . . .


    Speak for yourself. I've always dreamed about Tinkerbell sucking dudes off while being filmed in night-vision (as I suspect has everyone else who REALLY understood Peter Pan).

     Reply
    Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred
    Image of bytememehard bytememehard
    12/04/08

    @Nard: except in my fantasy, it was Tinkerboy.
     Reply
    bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred
    Image of GirlyWhirl GirlyWhirl
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    What the hell is Paris scavaging for in that photo? And she sort of looks like Gollum in a two piece and plastic glasses.
     Reply
    GirlyWhirl was starred GirlyWhirl was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    12/04/08

    @GirlyWhirl: Her taped-down magic wand?
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    12/04/08

    @GirlyWhirl: She's adjusting an enormous wart.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of The Real JR The Real JR
    12/04/08

    In reply to Paris Hilton Wants To Be Tinkerbell
    Fairies? Are you sure they didn't mean Perez Hilton?
     Reply
    The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Gawker account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.