[Videogum]

• Britney Spears gave her first sit-down interview in two years to OK!, which will publish its piece Friday. The singer also made some fairly charming promos for the MTV Video Music Awards with show host Russell Brand, the British comedian.
• Billy Joel's wife had the gall to try and approach Gwyneth Paltrow at a Hamptons fundraiser and didn't even make it past the front door to the house where Paltrow was hanging. You can blame Calvin Klein's ex-wife for the whole sad situation. [R&M]
• Scarlett Johansson is threatening to make another album, but only after the actress directs her first movie, so you can exhale now. [Showbiz Spy]
• Angelina Jolie doesn't mind grabbing a role intended Tom Cruise, especially if it means she gets to play a CIA officer running from false charges of being a turncoat. [The Insider]
• Donald Trump will thank you not to try and his exploit his good name for your stupid law practice or whatever. And he's pretty sure you're wrong about the legality of such behavior. [P6]
• If you want to come to Playboy Mansion parties, you damn sure better be ready to have your picture taken, because — hint — Playboy is a magazine. Otherwise, you're liable to be thrown off the premises by five security guards. Jason Statham has just learned this lesson. [P6]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's honeymoon involves a party in Sagaponack and a farm in East Hampton. [P6]

You'll remember that this isn't Trump's first run-in with a member of the fairer sex. He's had nasty divorces with ex-wives Ivana ("Don't get mad, get everything") and Marla, and has raged at former business associates like Carolyn Kepcher and Martha Stewart. He fired Kepcher—who always seemed smart and capable and grounded on Trump's "hit" show The Apprentice—because she was becoming a "prima donna" whose "TV role went to her head." (He later axed his secretary for the same reason.) He publicly dissed his once-friend Martha when her Apprentice spin-off failed to attract viewers, blaming his own version's ratings dip on her failures. Then of course came Rosie, who aptly called him a "snake-oil salesman" on The View. He went completely apeshit, refusing to let the imagined "feud" die down. He kept blubbering about it for months and months, making as many jabs about her appearance as he possibly could. There was also the scuttled TV show Lady or a Tramp in which he planned to school "out of control" young women in how to be dainty, and then there was this.

So why do people still put up with him? Remember when he went bankrupt and everyone thought we were finally done with him? That was a glorious time. So what happened? Why did he come back for a thoroughly un-American second act? I mean his brand of self-aggrandizing, bewigged machismo was kind of de rigeur in the 80's and charmingly old-timey in the 90's, but now it's just passé and exhausting and increasingly offensive. And he never stops! He's seemingly impervious to criticism, his ego (and his toupee) just getting impossibly bigger and bigger and bigger.

Though maybe that's backfiring. Maybe that bullet-proof exterior will be his undoing. People do seem, finally, to be less charmed by his, well, snake-oil ways. Some are even turning their heads away from boredom. I mean, if you've witnessed time and time again how unstoppable the juggernaut is, you just stop worrying about it. There's nothing you can do. And then, after a while, you stop paying attention altogether. The Apprentice was canceled last year (though he'll tell you it was his choice to end it) and now he's been reduced to bellowing about perfectly likable actresses who have absolutely nothing to do with him. Hopefully this marks the beginning of his dimming-casino-lights fade into obscurity. We're tired.

• Tom Cruise will appear on Oprah Winfrey's show who for the first time since his couch-jumping insanity the last time he was on the daytime talk program. The twitchy Scientologist will be on the show twice, once May 2nd from home and then May 5th in Oprah's usual studio. The visit coincides with the 25th anniversary of his movie Risky Business. [AP]
• After going on Oprah, Cruise will smother Katie Holmes by following her to New York for six months. Or they were never going to get separated in the first place and the tabloids are looking for a storyline that prevents Cruise's presence from proving them wrong. Either way. [OK!]
• Birthday party for Cruise and Holmes' two-year-old: $100,000. Flowers alone cost $17,000. Plus the stress tests and thetan cleansing were probably also in the five-figure range. [LA Rag Mag]
• Donald Trump "was big on the idea" of having OJ Simpson on his Celebrity Apprentice show "for a few minutes" until NBC executives nixed the idea. That's kind of the opposite of what happened to Norm MacDonald, if I recall correctly. [P6]
• Police incorrectly answered a question from Uma Thurman's stalker about whether he was allowed to have a lawyer present, so now they have to throw out his confession. Wait, you can "confess" to stalking? Well, why not. [P6]
• The solution to Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson's many emotional problems? A child, of course. Owen's idea. [Star]
• Cynthia Nixon is getting married to her partner. [JJ's Dirt]
• Someone invited Jerry Springer to give the commencement address at Northwestern's law school, so of course the students are up in arms. But is the best response they can come up with really just to shout "You suck?" [P6]
• Laugh all you want at Amy Winehouse, she's worth $20 million, according to the Sunday Times. [Showbiz Spy]

• Us reported that Ashlee Simpson was pregnant, as did OK!. An October due date was even floated for the musician's baby. But husband Pete Wentz sent an email to MTV News denying everything and positing a massive conspiracy: "There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood."
• Amy Fisher, meanwhile, happily confirmed she is pregnant, with her third child. [OK!]
• Elizabeth Taylor mixed booze with prescription drugs, began vomiting and couldn't breathe. Her assistant rushed her to the hospital and Taylor went home the same day. All according to the National Enquirer. [Perez]
• Kate Moss, the supermodel who is not banned for life from British Airways, was livid after the airline lost a $20,000 bracelet she bought as a gift for a friend, along with the Louis Vuitton bag it was in. The airline had a disaster of a time trying to open a new terminal at Heathrow last week and an untold number celebrities were inconvenienced and even mortally embarrassed. [Sun]
• Without the stabilizing influence of normal parents like Britney Spears', Lindsay Lohan needs constant monitoring by her best friend to stay out of trouble. [P6]
• Heather Mills convinced Donald Trump to let her help host the Miss USA Pageant despite her extraordinary demands, and was then booed and hissed by audience members. The Paul McCartney ex hailed the appearance as evidence that she is beloved in the U.S. [P6]
• Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow worked out at the gym together in London. [Splash]

InOtherNews...'s new line beats the original, Remembering Embarrassments Long Ago, Donald Trump Refuses To Properly Pose for Prom Photo

"There's no doubt about it that the previous publisher, Michael Jacobson, was an idiot, both in terms of his editorial goals (he's completely tacky, of the cigars-boxing-Vegas-dating strippers variety) and the licensing deal he agreed to with Donald Trump, which cost so much money per issue that it basically guaranteed our ad base could never more than make us break even. Ocean Drive has a lot more overhead than we did, and is definitely a better choice for this than a small custom publisher, but why ANYONE would get involved with this magazine at this stage of the game is totally beyond me."

This time around, Trump magazine will aim to teach its readers how to spend ridiculous sums of money, presumably in the manner of The Donald himself, who owed creditors billions of dollars in the early 90s.

Of course, he won't be joining them at the brink of financial ruin this time: "I put up no money," Trump told the Times today.

In the opposite corner Star Jones was being filmed, her face dancing a jig of a thousand expressions, each one seeming more grotesque than the one before it.

"Donald, Donald," called out a man on the far side of the velvet rope. Donald approached warily. The man extended his hand. His face was a marshland of splotchy red, and looked like it had been lifted no more than an hour ago. Instead of eyebrows, he had two smears of white cream. "It's me, Abe Wallach!"

Wallach was Trump's head of acquisitions for more than ten years before retiring. "Abe?" Trump said, incredulously, "I don't recognize you! You look 25 years younger." Trump turned to the security guy: "Let him in." The security man said," Sorry, Mr. Trump, but he needs a wristband." Trump turned to face the guard, his eyes somehow narrowing further. "You know who I am, don't you?" he hissed. "I do, sir. But he still needs a wristband." Trump unhooked the rope from its stand and in went Abe. Trump continued to insist, somewhat tactlessly, how he could not recognize Wallach. "Ha, that's what retirement will do," said Wallach, laughing uneasily.

When we finally got a hold of Trump he was hot and annoyed. "''Scuse me, Mr. Trump. Let's talk about a woman we both know well. Do you feel any sense of victory now that Rosie is out of The View?" He assessed for a split second before saying, "I don't want to talk about Rosie. She's a sleazebag, what more is there to say? I'm not going to talk about it."

Sensing our Trumpian moment was passing, we asked, "Ok, let's talk about ponies." "No," he said, moving on, "you're done." His newest wife, Melania, shot us a sympathetic look as she trailed her husband. We shot her one straight back, since she was the one that had to let him bed her routinely.

We never got to ask him about how he freaked out at that golf tournament last weekend—we hear he was partnered with some teenager, and near the end of the match, thinks went south and Trump stomped off and got in his car and just left. But now we'll never know for sure!

In the big tent for the poorer, the plastic surgery was a lot worse than even Mr. Wallach's. On the other hand, the crowd was pleasingly rowdy. In the far end, two "rocker dudes" were standing around. One had a choker on. They told us they were in the band Rammstein; obviously we didn't believe them. So we gave them a hard time. Who would pose as a German industrial band? Later it turned out they actually were in Rammstein! Oops, our bad.

As the Polo match wound down, Rocco DiSpirito could be seen wandering around dispirited and lonely. The ponies were being loaded back into their trailers; who would load Rocco into his trailer? The plastic faces and breasts of the polo goers sagged in the heat. Only Donald Trump, his hair an island of placidity, seemed unfazed. He took the mic and began to speak. Through the loudspeakers and echoing across the now empty field, the voice of Trump echoed, "Trump, trump, trump, trump, trump."

But intellectually, I'm still curious: What makes someone famous? The obvious answer concerns talent, beauty, or profession. But celebrity validates itself. No one is ever just famous for what they do or what they look like. People are also celebrities because they spend time with other famous people. In other words, they reinforce their status and power by virtue of remaining an exclusive network of celebrities. So how does one even begin to penetrate the celebrity network?

I wanted to get to the bottom of this. But good luck getting someone like Nicole Richie to fill out a survey on who she was hanging out with and where last week. So my colleague at the University of Southern California Gilad Ravid and I figured out the next best thing. How do we know what celebrities do, who they hang out with, and where they go? Because at every great celebrity event is an even greater photographer documenting the entire thing. Getty Images is by far the best, most comprehensible international database of photos and so we looked at every documented entertainment-related event occurring around the world from March 2006 through March 2007. And then we took all this data and ran extensive social network analysis on the people in the photos (who else was at the event, who is in each photo, where the event is located). We wanted to see if we could find patterns in celebrity social behavior. Where do celebrities go and who do they hang out with?

This isn't to say famous people don't have non-famous friends, or that they don't act like regular people in their not-in-the-spotlight moments (remember, US Weekly's mantra, they're just like us!). But we're interested in the public social behavior of celebrities—the events "that matter", the ones that normal people aren't invited to—not so much their morning run to Starbucks. So far, we've figured out a thing or two about the nature of celebrity.

Celebrity is like getting accepted at Harvard: Hard as hell, but once you're in, you're in. Everyone knows everyone. And even if Celebrity X invited you to the party, you will likely know everyone else at the party through a different channel. The celebrity network reinforces itself and its exclusivity. Everyone stays friends with the same people and the gang of beautiful people moves from event to event together—no interlopers allowed.

Look at the social network of the Queen Bee of exclusivity herself, Anna Wintour, darling editrix of Vogue magazine. Between March 2006-2007, Ms. Wintour attended 57 events around the world at which she was photographed by Getty. (This is not a large number, considering Paris Hilton was photographed at approximately 2000 events and Penelope Cruz at more than 1700. And an "event" can be the Costume Institute Benefit and it can also be a boutique opening. Either way, Hilton and Cruz are far more social and out and about than Wintour. Though, this isn't surprising. Ms. Wintour is nothing if not selective in her social life).

While there may have been other people at the events, only 1242 people in events around the world were photographed at the same events as Ms. Wintour. (Contrast this with American Idol star and Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Hudson, who was at events with 2239 other people in just California alone). Ms. Wintour's social life can be categorized as a "fully-connected network," which means that all the people who attend events that Ms. Wintour attends tend to attend them together, meaning that they all go to the same events—as opposed to attending discrete events with her. In other words, they run in a pack, so to speak, even if their packs are made up of limos.

Within her network, five of the most important people (what social networkers like to call "authorities") are Vogue's main man Andre Leon Talley, Fashion Week organizer Fern Mallis, premier fashion stylist Phillip Bloch, InStyle's editor-in-chief Hal Rubenstein, and socialite Tinsley Mortimer. These people have the most connections with the most connected, which means they have a knack for attending events and being in photographs with the most social of social butterflies.

Another crew within the Wintour crowd worth befriending are those that tend to be friends outside of Wintour. They go to events together even when Wintour is not holding court. Maybe they are genuinely friends. Or married, like Donald and Melania Trump. But count burlesque goddess Dita Von Teese, designer Zac Posen, and musician Harry Connick Jr. in this crowd too. These people go to events together outside of the ones that Ms. Wintour attends.

Then there are the social butterflies themselves. These individuals are the "most connected" of all people at the events and they have been photographed with more people and at more events than anyone else within the Wintour circle. These people know everyone. Knowing these people is generally a good idea if you want to expand your celebrity social network. This group overlaps a lot with the others. For example, Andre Leon Talley not only appears at events with very connected people, he is also very connected to lots of people himself. Same with Zac Posen and Donald and Melania Trump. Other really connected people include the rapper Eve and Ms. Wintour's daughter, Bee Schaffer.

If you really want to become BFF with Ms. Wintour, you might want to befriend those people who go to the most events that Wintour attends. Take a look at the chart above. Ms. Wintour obviously has the most connections within her network, and thus is ranked first. But of all celebrities, Talley, Tinsley Mortimer, Michael Kors, Tommy Hilfiger and Kanye West are among those who tend to go to most events that she does.

People who are not so likely to help your cause if you're trying to become famous are designers Donna Karan and Doo Ri and actress Cameron Diaz. Don't mistake these people for not being cool enough; by the numbers, they're actually too cool. They attend events Ms. Wintour attends but don't tend to go to all the events, and they are unlikely to go to events with the crowd at Wintour's events if she isn't also there.

On the other hand, if your focus is less on getting into the network and more on just getting celebrity publicity, you might want to start hanging out with the people in Ms. Wintour's network that get photographed the most. These are not, interestingly enough, the same people who go to the most events with Ms. Wintour. But, when they do go to an event with Ms. Wintour in attendance, they are photographed more than anyone—sometimes even more than the Queen Bee herself. We analyzed the 11, 740 pictures within the Wintour network and found that fashion designer John Galliano was photographed 321 times, while Ms. Wintour was photographed 192 times. Getty photographers took 97 shots Sienna Miller, 75 of Victoria Beckham and 68 of Katie Holmes.

Of course this makes sense: Consumers of celebrity love these ladies. They are photographed more, we hypothesize, because the press love them and want more pictures of them. In other words, media drives photographs—but that's not the same thing as being at a lot of events. Since the top people who go to events with Ms. Wintour are not the same people who get photographed by the media the most, you'll have to make a choice whether you want to be in the network or just be in a lot of photographs. Your safest bet is becoming chummy with Ms. Wintour herself.

But good luck with that. Unless you're Governor of Fantasyland, you recognize the impossibility of that quest.As it turns out, being a celebrity is hard work and probably a little boring. Becoming famous—really famous—is virtually impossible unless you know exactly the right people. But that might be a good thing, because once you're in, you're just meeting the same people over and over again. The allure of celebrity world is that no one else is invited, so you must be special. But once you join, it just might be the end to your wild and interesting social life as you know it.

Elizabeth Currid is assistant professor at University of Southern California's School of Policy, Planning and Development. Her first book, The Warhol Economy: How Fashion, Art and Music Drive New York City, will be published by Princeton University Press this September.

Dr. Gilad Ravid, a post-doctoral researcher at University of Southern California and Lecturer at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev in Israel, assisted with this column.

TRUMP SET TO TAKE STAND ON BLACK'S BEHALF [NYP]
Defense of Conrad Black Begins, Gets Testy Right Away [AP]

PLAYING THE TRUMP CARD [NYP]

Donald Trump wants you to know Autrey was given $10,000 by Donald Trump personally. (Donald Trump also reminds you that he has "a great respect for construction workers." Nice guy, that Donald Trump.)

Still, the Barbara Walters profile of "View" co-host Rosie O'Donnell taught us so much about that relationship: the "passion and compassion," the "feuds and the fearlessness." It was "a plunge on the roller coaster" for Walters, but the two remain "respectful and affectionate friends." Wow. Glad that all got sorted out. Really it's just so nice to hear the inside story. —balk

The Time 100 [Time]

D. SOLOMON: Are you dyslexic?
R. SIMMONS: Oprah renamed the book. It was like God calling. She gave me a better title.

Really? That's pretty generic.
I think it's all God. I say that all day long. The real process is doing you and having a truth that you live up to. Donald [Trump] is different than a lot of other very rich people. He has a good time. He is always laughing. He's into doing him.

You're known for dating models. What do they offer besides flawless skin?
I talk to John Edwards more than I talk to anyone. He has said more things about the conditions we need to think about. He went to yoga with me. He did the whole class, an hour and a half. He sweated like crazy. He's in good shape, but it was hard on him.

Are there any presidential candidates who inspire you?
Why? You think I'm crazy?

Your book basically advocates for old-fashioned American values — i.e., work hard, don't give up.
No. I can read. But I can't understand anything. I just read "The Autobiography of a Yogi," by Paramahansa Yogananda, over and over again.

What do you make of Barack Obama, who recently said that rap musicians should reform their lyrics?
We're separated. She works upstairs. People do think it's inspiring the way we handle our partnership.

In the years since you sold your stake in Def Jam, you've gone into the fashion business and developed clothing lines like Phat Farm and Baby Phat. Do you still run them with your wife, Kimora Lee?
Unfortunately, I do. My nickname is Rush, but I practice yoga every day so I can rush less.

You write extensively about your devotion to yoga in your new self-help book, "Do You!" Is the title your own coinage?
What we need to reform is the conditions that create these lyrics. Obama needs to reform the conditions of poverty. I wish he really did raise his money on the Internet, like he said. I wish he really did raise his money independently.

Why did you, a self-proclaimed seeker of spiritual truths, ask Donald Trump, of all people, to write the foreword to the book?
A professor? I can barely read.

No, but you seem to have a heightened need for stimulation.
No. It's an old hip-hop expression: "Do you!" It's just something we say all the time. It means do what you want to do. Do what inspires you. Don't be a sheep. Keep it real. The book was originally called "Russell Simmons' Laws of Success."

Do you see a therapist?
They're better than actresses. Actresses are kind of a little crazy.

There are other women besides models and actresses. Why don't you try dating, say, a professor the next time around?
No it's not. It's noise. It's the opposite. To be awake is to be fully present, no noise, just you and God. Most of us only have seconds of full consciousness. To live in a state of samadhi — that's what we're here for. —Jon

Hip-Hop Guru: Questions for Russell Simmons [NYTM]

Now, the résumés are flooding in — and the process is turning out to be every bit as unconventional as the billionaire investor himself. Among the 600 or so applicants so far: a Talmudic scholar who picks stocks from home, a Canadian economist with an intense yoga practice and even a four-year-old.

"We're going to run this like 'American Idol' in the end," the 76-year-old Mr. Buffett quipped in an interview.

There'd be early-round ritual humiliation:

What [a trial period] isn't, however, is a mentorship program, something many applicants have misinterpreted. He says he isn't looking for someone to teach, but for "someone who already knows how to do it."

The misunderstanding is reflected in dozens of letters from students, profession investors and a surprising number of engineers and lawyers hoping to be apprenticed [natch!] to the master. "I assure you," wrote one 20-year-old college student, "although I may be short on experience, I am very long on potential." [Ed: Sure you are, Aleksey] A lawyer in Oregon recommended his four-year-old son, characterizing the toddler as a "great negotiator" on issues such as "bedtime, chores, allowance, baths, etc."

In Ottawa, economist Klaus Kostenbauer takes a more spiritual approach. As manager of Prosperous Yogi Investments, he regularly practices a rigorous form of yoga call kundalini, and mediates several hours a week.

"My yoga makes me a better investor," says Mr. Kostenbauer, 40. "It helps with discipline, mastery of your emotions, and mastery of greed, fear and patience."

Please read the whole article. Political economy is fake. —Jon

Want to be Next Warren Buffett? A Line Forms in Nebraska [WSJ]

Previously: First Responders: Don Imus

It's a sad day for all of us here on Gawker: On this morning's "The View," Rosie O'Donnell promised to never mention Donald Trump (or, as the lady so delicately put it, "that dumptruck") again. Could it be? The greatest conflict of the 21st century cut down in its prime? Oh, wait, these are two of the biggest attention whores in the world today; of course not. As you were.

"Please be my personal guest to hear my real story on Trump wealth creation from my son, Donald Trump Jr., and also be trained by '4' self-made multi-millionaire experts. Donald Trump Jr. will share with you our family's most successful wealth creating secrets and strategies." And Trump World Tower residents don't even have to pay the $149 entrance fee! But what else will they be learning from the Trumps?

At this once in a lifetime financial conference you will learn how to: 1. Find income producing properties the Trump way. 2. Slash capital gains tax to "0" when you sell real estate, stocks, or your business. 3. Lower your current tax bill up to 31%. 4. Negotiate the Trump way. 4. Negotiate the Trump way. 5. Protect 100% of your personal assets from all lawsuits, liens, levies, bankruptcy, or even a divorce. 6. Get government approved investments guaranteeing 9.6% to 32% return. 7. Learn the Trump way to cash in on the new trillion dollar booming foreclosure opportunity in 2007.

More: We Know These Wings, Will Make You Happy - Trump In [Supermogul]

Lessons you'll learn:

Fashion Week: Michael Kors [photos]

After speaking with many people in my life and reflecting on my own experiences, I've found that bosses come in many shapes and sizes. Let's categorize some of them:

The weak, indecisive and insecure. He (or she) is afraid to make a decision and yet criticizes your decisions when you're not in the room.

Those who manage by fear, as opposed to motivation. He gains his power and authority through intimidation.

Those who know how to reduce you to a trembling mass of low self-esteem. In his presence he can make you feel tongue-tied and inarticulate. He carefully and strategically didarm you with a subtle put-down.

Those who make a point of keeping tabs on everyone and everything. He forms alliances with people he can manipulate. His greatest skill is cutting you off from any ally who might be able to resist him, even from your ultimate superior, to whom he's terrified you'll rat him out.

The micromanager and egomaniac. They need to control everything and take credit. They are quick to point the finger when something fails.

In my experience, difficult bosses frequently mix and match their abusive styles according to the opportunity and situation. Ah yes. "In my experience," indeed.

Even though she is quitting, Harder insisted she didn't do anything wrong and plans to give birth in August. "This isn't another scandal," Harder told the Philadelphia Daily News. "This is a baby. This is a life."

Oh, Baby! Miss NJ Bows Out [NYDN]

Earlier: Why Did They Take Away Our Miss USA?

Rosie, not even bothering to sprinkle her monologue with jokes, criticized the war, the president, and the Patriot Act non-stop and also complained about the lack of childcare provided by The View. Every once in a while, Walters told Rosie how wonderful she was. The show finished with an interview with the gay actor who had introduced Rosie to her "wife." A battered Walter [sic], looking very tired, just kept smiling wanly. Trump, not missing a beat, immediately fired back, calling Walters "a sad figure-head dominated by a third rate comedian." Frankly, it is poignant to see Walters at the end of an extraordinary career being so beaten down not only by Rosie and Trump but by the changing times. For years Walters used her classy style, her handwritten notes, and her gifts of Porthault linen to get the big "gets" of her past interviews. That just doesn't work anymore. Oh, she may still get a "get" now and then, but nobody much cares anymore about a matronly interviewer exchanging niceties with a movie star or even a head-of-state.

A Cat Gets into A Junkyard Dogfight [NRO]

Earlier: Media Criticism, 'New York Sun' Style

Still looking for better ratings for the new season of The Apprentice [Access Hollywood, pdf]

Earlier: Further Adventures In The Rosie O'Donnell/Donald Trump Colloquy